Why is my personality like this?
Is personality really destiny?
Is it impossible to change one's innate personality?
Adlerian Counseling for Those Who Want to Be Happy Tomorrow
If you wonder why you have this kind of personality, read this book!

Ichiro Kishimi, who sparked the Adlerian psychology boom with "The Courage to be Disliked," returns with a book that challenges our common sense about personality, along with "Adler" itself! This book, which compiles lectures given on NHK based on Adler's "Personality Psychology," aims not simply to diagnose personality, but to help individuals truly understand their own personalities and offer "intellectual assistance" to those seeking to change them.
This book presents a wide range of solutions that can be applied to a variety of personality concerns.
If you're someone who constantly cares about what others think, is always anxious, or is depressed every night thinking, "I have such a weird personality," and lamenting, "This life is ruined," try Ichiro Kishimi's Adlerian counseling!

As you read “Personality Psychology,” you will realize that Adler’s insight into human beings is very profound.
There may be parts that feel like my own story and make you want to close your eyes.
However, if I find myself in Adler's writings, my understanding of myself will deepen, I will be able to see myself again, and by realizing the need, I will be able to gain the 'courage' to change my personality.
---From the "Prologue"

“You teach psychology, so you probably know what I’m thinking right now, right?”
Of course, there is no way to know such a thing.
Just because you're a psychologist doesn't mean you can read other people's minds.
What was the student's purpose in asking such a question? It was to lower the other person's value, thus elevating his own.
Adler termed this the 'value-depreciation tendency'.

A vain person, or someone who knows that he or she is not truly outstanding, tries to increase his or her own value by lowering the value of others, thereby gaining a sense of superiority.
Adler described this tendency as the 'value-depreciation tendency.'

---From Chapter 1: Vanity, Jealousy, and Hatred

The description of the person who creates the emotion called 'anxiety' begins like this.
For example, the desire to escape from life's difficult problems, such as interpersonal relationships, leads to the emotion of anxiety, and going a step further, this emotion is used as a support for the determination to escape from life's tasks.
Some people may think that life would be easier and more comfortable if there were no ties to others, as there would be no friction from relationships. However, if you cut off all ties with others, a happy life would become impossible in the first place.

---From "Chapter 2 Passivity, Anxiety, and Fear"

Even if we try to arrest criminals, punish them severely, and rehabilitate them, we cannot guarantee that they will not commit crimes again.
'I got caught this time by mistake, but I'll do better next time.' There's also a possibility that you'll make a firm resolution.
According to Adler, these are cowards.
Adler's statement that "criminals are cowards" holds great significance.
Severe punishment alone is of no use.
Severe punishment alone can never lead to rehabilitation.
This is because the basis of crime is a superiority complex, which is the other side of an inferiority complex.
Adler believed that the only effective way to rehabilitate criminals was to help them avoid developing feelings of inferiority.

---From "Chapter 2 Passivity, Anxiety, and Fear"

Even happy people feel anxious as they are happy.
Even though we are in the midst of happiness, we still doubt, 'How long will this happiness last?'
I am really happy with my current life with my grandchildren.
However, when I am alone, I sometimes think, 'I am 64 years old now, so I don't have much time left. Will I be able to live until my granddaughter gets married?'
If you do that, you will be overcome with anxiety that your current happiness will not last forever.
This would be an example of “bringing out the dark side of life.”

---From "Chapter 3 Cheerfulness, Stubbornness, and Mood"

Adler believed that, like the personality traits we have examined so far, emotions also have interpersonal purposes.
It is precisely “the human purpose of trying to bring about change in order to make the situation favorable to oneself.”
People usually think from a causal perspective.
It's like thinking that the child is angry because he or she is acting out a problem.
On the other hand, Adler, who had a teleological perspective, believed that people use the emotion of anger for 'certain purposes'.
It is seen as having the purpose of bringing about change in order to make the situation favorable to oneself.

---From “Chapter 4: Anger, Sadness, and Shame”

If you ask someone you're meeting for the first time what their age is, you can get a pretty good idea of ​​their personality.
Why do children develop such different personalities despite being born to the same parents and growing up in similar family environments? While "Personality Psychology" doesn't address sibling relationships (it's a psychological convention to use the term "siblings" to encompass all siblings), Adler did list sibling relationships as one of the "influential factors" when people "choose" their own personality.
Since several books have pointed out that the influence is greater than that of parent-child relationships, I will now examine how sibling order affects personality, quoting Adler's sentences.

---From "Chapter 5: First, Second, Youngest, and Only Children"

He says that he is shy and has difficulty forming relationships with others, and that he is lazy and cannot get started on things, so he tries to run away.
In either case, you might want to argue that personality cannot be changed, but someone who understands that personality can be changed cannot use that excuse to run away from the task.

I fully understand the feeling of not wanting to be hurt in interpersonal relationships.
However, the joy and happiness of life can only be found in interpersonal relationships.
If you start properly, you will be afraid of what the results will be, but you cannot help but worry about what to do after the results are out.
I think it's much better to take on a task and fail than to sit back and do nothing for fear of failure.

---From "When your personality changes in the last chapter, your life changes"

You need a mirror to see your own face.
I would be extremely happy if this book could help you get to know yourself better and gain the courage to change yourself.

---From the "Epilogue"