Beyond division, hatred, and exclusion
Towards a better world
About the attitude toward life we ​​need now
“We must all become individualists!”

Pointing out structural problems in everyday trivial stories
Columnist Han Seung-hye's sharp perspective!

A book that lets us see things we haven't seen before!

The author of this book, Seunghye Han, emphasizes that 'individualism' is necessary to move beyond the hatred, discrimination, and bullying prevalent in our society and toward a slightly better world.
The author is known as a columnist who observes any issue three-dimensionally and maintains a sense of balance.
His writing begins with very personal stories or stories about movies and books, and then naturally reveals the structures and contradictions of society.
Through rich stories, the author demonstrates how individualism can be useful in living authentically and in acknowledging the individuality of others.


It's not easy to be an individualist.
First, I need to know who I am, and others need to accept me for who I am.
I too must learn to respect the identities of others.
So most people who are accustomed to collectivism need to practice individualism.


After reading the 42 sharp and warm essays in this book, you will come to see the world and people through the eyes of an individualist.
When we all exist as 'individuals' and live together in solidarity, we will be able to move forward toward a better world.

In an all-female university, gender as a criterion for judging others completely disappears.
The reasons we have heard countless times throughout our lives, such as “how can a woman be like that,” “because she is a woman,” or “because she is a woman,” become meaningless.
In this world, women naturally break free from stereotypes about their own gender.
You will be able to think more freely without being bound by limitations.

Women's universities can also play a role in helping women realize the various layers they possess.
People often believe that all of society's problems will be solved if gender differences disappear, but in reality, even after removing the curtain of "women," various discriminations remain, whether economic, physical, or cultural.
Therefore, women who experience this world learn that personal identity is a very complex fabric, and that while they may be relatively weak, this is not always the case.

---From "Women's universities are not places to be like that"

If my child made even the slightest noise in front of others, played a prank, or threw a tantrum, my heart sank.
I was always on edge, worried that I might be labeled as a 'thoughtless parent' or a 'mom-chung'.
I was always censoring myself, wondering if I had done something wrong.
Because if I do something wrong, it's not my mistake, it's the mothers' mistake.
Because my mistakes are not just my fault, but the fault of all women.
Perhaps some people live with even more harsh censorship than I do, simply because I am a mother to a woman.
Because censorship tends to be more severe the more minority you are.

---From "A Censored Life"

I live braless about 364 days out of 365.
As I started having children and staying at home more, I started meeting people less often, and naturally, I started spending more days without a bra.
Sometimes I have to be extra careful when I meet someone.
Check carefully to see if it is obvious that you are not wearing a bra.
And when it gets cold, I change my clothes and put on a cardigan even though it's not cold.
It's a case of self-censorship, so to speak, and as you know, all forms of censorship, no matter how trivial, consume mental and physical energy.
If I, who censors things like bras, am this tired, it is not hard to imagine that people who have more to censor than me will suffer even more.

There will surely be people who say, "If you're that tired, don't censor! Who would censor?"
But we all already know what happened to those who resisted that censorship.

---From "Don't Show Off Your Teeth"

There seems to have been a lot of talk about this scene in “Kim Ji-young, Born 1982.”
The reason is that it alienates mothers who have not graduated from college.
Not all citizens of the Republic of Korea are college graduates, but that aspect is not taken into consideration at all.
In other words, it is a criticism that it only deals with the lives of 'college-educated middle-class women.'
When the drama "Misaeng" dealt with the issue of irregular workers, focusing on the character Jang Geu-rae, no one said anything about the subtle discrimination or sad episodes Jang Geu-rae experienced as a contract worker.
"Even so, that's just the story of office workers who studied a little! Even at this very moment, there are so many marginalized young people who are dying without even being guaranteed a safe work environment, who didn't even graduate from college! Even while watching "Misaeng," I feel alienated!"
This is probably because Jang Geu-rae, the main character of “Misaeng,” was acquiring individuality in his own right.
Because everyone already knows that Jang Geu-rae doesn't represent the lives of all men, all poor youth, and all irregular and contract workers.
Jang-geu-rae is just Jang-geu-rae.

---From "Kim Ji-young, Born 1982, is not a representative of all women"

We must acknowledge that sexual violence can be committed by anyone, not just horned monsters.
We must accept that sexual violence is not only committed by 'monsters' but also by ordinary people, even my good child.
Only when we accept that it is something that anyone can easily do can we create stronger accountability.

We know what happens when we drive drunk and hurt someone.
You face a lot of responsibility, including going to jail, being morally reprehensible, having to pay damages, losing your job, and having your life ruined.
There is no case where drunk driving is accepted as a 'mistake'.
That's why, even if we have the opportunity to drink and drive or feel the urge to do so, ordinary people like us live our lives restraining ourselves.
We need to make people think this way about sexual violence.
We need to recognize that anyone can do it, that the distance between us all is not that far, and that we all have a strong responsibility to follow through.
If you do so, you can prevent yourself from making a mistake due to a moment of curiosity or impulse, even if an opportunity arises.
So we must protect our children from becoming perpetrators.

---From "There Are No Monsters"

Many people cited the fact that Kim Ji-eun tolerated the sexual assault for so long, on four separate occasions, as evidence that her story was not true.
Their arguments at the time provided a kind of awakening: people still did not formally recognize women as workers or professionals.

---From "The Double Standards of Eating and Living"

My anger, which was about to flare up again as the memory of that time was summoned, subsided like a deflated balloon the moment I saw the knight coming out of the common hallway, because I realized that he had still been working at that hour, that is, until two in the morning.
He was working all day, just like he told me then.
Until 2 am.
I felt like I understood a little bit what he meant when he said he worked himself to the bone all day, and my anger subsided a little.
Kindness comes from physical strength.
Kindness comes from health.
Perhaps it was inevitable that someone who was tired from working all day would lose his temper.

---From "Memories of a Wicked Delivery Man"

An ordinary person would not stand by and watch someone suffer right in front of them.
Even the most level-headed person cannot stand by and watch a person hanging from a cliff or a child exposed defenselessly in front of an oncoming car.
However, humans can only demonstrate altruism when such situations are visible.
Therefore, we can be insensitive.
About the young man who was torn apart by an oncoming train while repairing a broken subway safety door, about the man who was caught in a conveyor belt and stopped breathing, about the man who lost his life after being exposed to pollutants in a factory.
Although accidents are unfortunate, they are not happening right before my eyes.

---From "The Crisis of the Here and Now That Cannot Be Ignored"

Haruki Murakami reveals that he felt a sense of dread several times while interviewing believers.
This is because I felt that my desire to write a novel to know my 'inner self' was somewhat connected to the desire that led them to join Aum Shinrikyo.
It is truly ironic that the stronger the desire for 'self-reflection' or 'inner exploration', and the more diligently a person makes efforts to resolve such desire, the more likely it is that once they step foot into such a religion, they will become uncontrollable.
The fact is that the more good and righteous one is, the more easily one falls into the path of evil.
---From "Why Did They Fall Into a Cult?"

There are no absolutely evil people in the world, nor are there any absolutely good people.
Most of them are neither good nor evil.
It just moves differently each time.
Even in unexpected situations, I always hesitate and worry.
At this time, what other people are thinking has an influence.
If everyone is evil, then I have no reason or need to be good anymore.
Just live like the wild, each fighting for their own survival.
However, when we think that good hearts might be hiding somewhere far away, somewhere unseen, humans hesitate.
And I worry.
I wonder about the goodness that may be within me.
Therefore, in order for us to become good, we need to trust each other.
But humans are weak, so this trust is easily broken, and someone must constantly remind people that there is still some will deep down inside, so that they can trust each other.
Good stories are just such evidence.
To struggle with the possibility of becoming evil, to be swayed by temptation, to worry and agonize, and then ultimately to try to resist—that is what I consider a "good" story.

---From "So, you have to be a hypocrite"