Patients and medical staff crossing the line between life and death together,
A very special story that blossomed on that precarious road!

Medical professionals require a special type of empathy.
They are trained from their student days to maintain composure by establishing a psychological barrier to pay attention to patients but not to be swept away by emotions.
But occasionally, there are patients who break through that solid barrier and leave a decisive mark on the hearts and minds of medical staff, ultimately changing their outlook on life and even the direction of their lives.
This book is a rare masterpiece that contains just such a story.
From budding residents in various fields to nurses, emergency medical technicians, and caregivers, and from Kasper Van Eyck, a surgical oncologist famous for being Steve Jobs's personal physician, to Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, the stories of "the patients of my life" told by over 80 medical professionals are sometimes tearful, sometimes terrifying, and sometimes deeply moving.
This book, which vividly and honestly tells the memories and special experiences of just one patient among the countless patients met and parted ways in the medical field, will provide special emotion and comfort to all of us living in this icy era due to COVID-19.

Late one night, a woman was brought into the emergency room.
According to the husband, his wife attempted suicide by jumping from the eighth floor of her apartment.
In order to save the patient whose entire body was damaged, the entire hospital's medical staff, including surgeons, plastic surgeons, otolaryngologists, pain medicine specialists, and dentists, were mobilized to perform surgery and treatment.
But for months, the woman remained unconscious and dependent on a ventilator.
Top Slapendel, a second-year pain medicine resident, asked himself several times.
A woman who tried to take her own life is lying there, and here we are, desperately trying to save her life.
What kind of medical waste is this? After six months, the patient showed some improvement.
Finally, with the ventilator removed from her neck, she was able to speak and tell a story no one expected.
“My husband pushed me off the balcony.” This incident completely changed Slapendel’s outlook on life and career as a novice doctor.
From that day on, he does his best to save the sick whoever comes before him, even if they are criminals or attempted suicide.
Because he believes that it is his mission.

--- p.23

After that experience, my attitude towards patients changed 180 degrees.
It was a realization that every patient, regardless of age, gender, occupation, or previous medical history, whether he or she was a criminal or attempted suicide, was worthy of our care.
This woman's case's unexpected twist not only changed my perspective on my profession as a doctor, but also my outlook on life and the world.
--- p.26

"great.
“Let me try it myself, okay?” I still remember clearly the moment I said this to him.
Because he sat down on the spot and burst into tears.
A fully grown man of strong build was brought to his knees and in tears over a small piece of plastic.
Perhaps it was the relief of finally finding a trustworthy doctor? It was also a moment when I, as a doctor, realized how important it is to listen deeply to a patient's story.

--- p.29

The atmosphere changed in an instant.
The hospital room was filled with energy, and the joy and elation of the families spread throughout the room, almost palpable.
I tried to calm down, but before I knew it, I was absorbed in their happiness.
The patient, who had initially just blinked and remained still, showed a surprising reaction when he saw the baby.
He looked at the monitor for a while and then spoke softly.
“The old life is leaving and now a new life is coming!”
--- p.33

Now, when I see young patients with terminal illnesses, I do everything I can to help them live as long and comfortably as possible.
We encourage you to get out of bed for a while and try to ease your pain by providing you with healthy foods whenever possible.
Anything I can do to make sure they don't think it's over too quickly.

--- p.38

Now, 13 years later, Christopher is not the same person we first met.
I see him once every six months.
Very slowly his condition continues to worsen.
He needs a respirator at night and his vocal cords are damaged, making his speech unclear.
But the moment he went to college, his depression disappeared.
He was trapped behind a barrier to express himself, revealing his sad face in the form of depression, but once the barrier was removed, his life changed completely.

--- p.45

Our last moment, or our last night with our loved ones, will always come eventually.
We usually live without even knowing when that moment will come.
But he had seen it.
He greeted me and thanked me for being honest with him.
Knowing that Irma would not live, he was able to decide for himself how to spend his final hours with her.

--- p.57

She later recalled the moment I entered the intensive care unit:
“That’s when Hanneke walked into my life.” Those words seemed to say it all.
The confidence and trust she showed me in that hospital room at that time was so desperate that I still can't forget it.
Because it was the biggest ordeal of my life, being left alone with my two children.

--- p.74

On a Sunday afternoon, a young woman came to the home of Ted Van Essen, a family doctor, and asked for euthanasia out of the blue.
This was long before the euthanasia law was passed in the Netherlands.
Feeling burdened by this situation, Essen sent her home the next day, telling her to come to the hospital and talk things through properly.
The next day, the woman did not show up.
On Wednesday morning, I received a call from the police.
Police said a woman jumped to her death from a building near Essen's clinic and asked people to come to the morgue to identify her.
How could he ever forget the moment he walked into the small, cramped morgue and saw the woman's horribly mangled body? Even now, 25 years later, Essen feels a pang of guilt whenever he thinks of her.
Because on that Sunday afternoon, she made a heartbreaking choice, taking her hesitation as a rejection.
This incident changed Essen's view on euthanasia.
At least there shouldn't be the same tragedy.

--- p.171

One patient complained of extreme anxiety and difficulty sleeping.
Anne Speckens, a rookie doctor newly assigned to the psychiatry department, asked her patient why she was so anxious.
A male patient in his early 40s said he could not sleep because he was afraid he would die in his sleep.
He said that he felt like he wouldn't be able to wake up once he fell asleep, that he couldn't sleep because he was afraid that he would never see his wife and children again.
Speckens advised him to get enough sleep to get better and prescribed him a sedative.
When I went there the next morning, his bed was empty.
When I asked the nurse, I got a short answer.
“The patient died last night.” I had done my job by administering a tranquilizer, but I found it difficult to accept that I had let the patient down in such a fundamental way.
After that incident, Speckens, who had been wandering for a while, changed his career path to 'mindfulness' and became a pioneer in that field.

--- p.225