prolog

Part 1: Why on Earth Do They Do This?: People Who Hurt and Are Hurt
- So what are you trying to say?
- I just wanted to do well.
- The problem is the emotions that come up in an instant.
- I can't believe it at all

Part 2 I hope my hungry heart reaches you
- I was able to keep my pride.
- The time I want to run away, 9 PM
- When the same pattern repeats itself in a relationship
- This is clearly his fault, so why should I?
- You're so good, it's a big deal.
- The person who hurts me the most is my mother
- I decided to change the memory of emotions.

Part 3 To the heart that I have kept tightly shut
- I'm afraid I might look strange to others.
- The reason why I keep thinking negatively
- Is that really the case?
- When I am filled with unreasonable anxiety
- One day, a feeling of guilt came to me.
- A heart that has never been comforted
- All losses are equally important

Part 4 Five Keys to Emptying the House of Wounds
- The first key: Dealing with rusty emotions
- The second key: Keeping distance from myself
- Third Key_Add Empathy
- The Fourth Key: Changing the Context of Memory
- The Fifth Key_Letting Go

│Even if depression, anxiety, and anger appear similar on the outside, the true nature of those emotions is different!
Uncomfortable feelings signal my wounds

Several times a day, we experience wounds, big and small.
And these wounds manifest as uncomfortable emotions like anger, jealousy, envy, disgust, shame, anxiety, sadness, and frustration, making us suffer.
The wounds that have taken root in my heart without me knowing suddenly surface, sometimes turning me into an aggressive and sensitive person, and other times making me an extremely pathetic person.
But even though they may seem like the same emotions on the outside, the reality hidden within them is different.

For example, someone's anger is an inferiority complex caused by distorted narcissism.
People who have a strong compulsive need to be superior to others tend to blame others when they experience disappointment or frustration in order to escape the pain and shame.
Another person's anger is a desire to be loved.
The feeling of not wanting to be abandoned leads to constant obsession, and if the other person fails to satisfy this, it leads to extreme emotional expression.
Another person's anger is guilt.
People who suffer from chronic guilt over everything being their fault become their own watchdogs, evaluating their own actions and venting anger at their perceived shortcomings.

Even if they have the same emotions, they each contain different signals of hurt.
Therefore, to properly part ways with the wounds that disrupt our daily lives and make our relationships tiring, we need to understand the true nature of the wounds hidden behind the uncomfortable emotions and develop a method of mental organization to heal them.


│I get hurt even though I know it, and I get hurt out of habit…
Psychological comfort for the delicate and fragile mind

Of course, there are bound to be negative emotions that arise in natural situations, such as when you break up with a loved one or fail to achieve a desired goal.
These feelings are not a problem at all.
Rather, at this time, you need time to fully acknowledge the negative emotions you feel and accept them as they are.

The author says that what we need to pay close attention to are the wounds that repeat like patterns, the wounds we receive like habits, and the wounds we create ourselves.
In particular, if you frequently ask yourself questions like, “It was their fault, so why do I have to get hurt?”, “Why do the same patterns repeat themselves every time I meet someone?”, “Am I the one who gets hurt because I’m weird?”, or “Why do I keep getting hurt even though I know it?”, I advise you to figure out where the wounds that cause negative emotions originate.

For example, people with strong internal rules may unconsciously believe that others should follow the rules they believe are natural, which can lead to difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
People like this talk like it's a habit.
“Of course you should do that.” Some people get hurt alone because of the cognitive error of automatically thinking and believing that it is always true, and end up becoming victims without a perpetrator.
For example, if the other person frowns during a conversation, we overgeneralize by saying, "They must hate me" or "They must not have liked what I said."
The other person ends up feeling wronged and misunderstood.
I just had a toothache and grimaced for a moment.

In this way, this book identifies thought patterns that create wounds when they are not wounds, or thought patterns that magnify negative emotions and make wounds worse, and presents various practice exercises to change them.


│“I’ve decided to accept the imperfect and clumsy me!”
Five Keys to Emptying the House of Wounds in My Heart

When we hear the word "wound," we tend to think of only traumatic events, but in fact, the wounds that threaten our daily lives often begin with a small word or a glance exchanged in a relationship rather than a major trauma.
So, this book contains the method of properly parting with the wounds that make our lives difficult, from old wounds that have accumulated since childhood to small wounds that we receive moment by moment in our daily lives.
It introduces methods for healthy healing, dividing them into parts focusing on situations where wounds are expressed outwardly and situations where wounds are endured. In addition, it introduces mental vaccines that are good to have internally to prevent the problem of a wounded heart from recurring.

- One, don't suppress your emotions any longer!
- Two, look at me from a third-person perspective!
- Three, speak to me the language of acceptance!
- Fourth, I will edit and update the memories that were hurt!
- Five, instead of looking for reasons for unhappiness, focus on how to become happy!
The author says that overcoming a wound may mean becoming less distressed by it and, over time, gaining the confidence to overcome it.
This is also a process of accepting the imperfect and clumsy me.
Now, let's equip ourselves with the five heart vaccines through this book and take some time for healing to empty the house of wounds.