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I'm alive here
Here, I'm alive
Description
Book Introduction
“If we don’t give up hope, miracles will surely come to us.”
Recommended by Kim Byung-sam, Oh Jung-hyun, Yoo Ki-seong, and Shin Ae-ra!
A young man's struggle with the devil's pain, CRPS.

On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain of childbirth ranks at 7, while complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) ranks at 9 or 10. CRPS is a rare disease, with an estimated 5,000 to 20,000 patients in Korea. It's also an incurable condition, with no clear cause or treatment.

“The problem was that there were too many days left to live.”
Taking more than 100 pills daily.
Morphine injections three times a week.
Ketamine treatment once a week.
Up to spinal cord stimulator insertion.
Despite trying everything I could, the pain did not improve.
The constant pain and frequent sudden attacks made even basic human activities like eating, sleeping, and defecating impossible.
In the summer of twenty-eight, the flower of youth withered.
Even in a situation where there was no other way to end the pain than death, the young man endured the cold wave that came upon him with his whole body.
Even in the cold and darkness, I walked through the tunnel of suffering, holding the hands of those who were with me.
In a situation where not even a faint light could be seen, I looked only to God, the source of hope.
And spring has returned again.
The youth is waiting for new shoots to sprout, flowers to bloom, and fruit to be born.

Although he still walks with a limp, the young man decides not to give up and to stand up again.
Although I still have pain and my life is completely different than before my illness, I choose to be grateful for what I have now.
And I pray that the times I have walked through can be a small sliver of hope for those who are still going through hardships they cannot understand, and above all, for patients and their families battling CRPS.
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index
Articles written by those who have read and recommended them before
Writings from those who walked hand in hand through the tunnel of suffering

prolog

One splendid summer, the flowers withered

The word that describes me: perfection
A large ball shot up by shingles
The struggle to survive begins
Patients with severe rare diseases recognized by the state

A sudden, long cold snap

A young man whose wish is to wear socks
Medicine calls for medicine
A life traded for three hours
A golden rope passed down to me
My support as I left for heaven
Someone please kill me
Disappearing blood vessels
At thirty, I put a machine inside my body.

The tree withstands the cold and darkness.

Destination for Young CRPS Patients
A mother's retirement to save her daughter
Good God?
Why I Hate Holidays
I do drugs, but I'm not a drug addict.
I'm going to a psychiatrist because I'm sick.
The reality of becoming a Maruta
My body is the weather station
Guardian's weight

New spring, flowers, and fruits

Every day is like a day
Is health the best?
Still, 'thank you'
Until I can walk on two feet again
Let's break the vicious cycle
10-minute miracle
Nothing is impossible

Flowers bloom even on dry branches

WAY MAKER
My job is to be a patient.
Severance of medical history
From being served to serving
We give you the gift of health

Epilogue

Additional Information for CRPS Patients

Into the book
After injecting 8mg of morphine + 1mg of Ativan, 100mg of ketamine + 2mg of midazolam, and then another 8mg of morphine + 1mg of Ativan into my body, I was finally able to get home and fall asleep.
Even with all these medications, my pain is under control for less than a day.
--- p.
19

Just a few months after this pain began, I was on morphine injections for unbearable pain.
Unlike the moment I was prescribed narcotic painkillers, the fact that I had to get morphine by injection came as a huge shock.
But there was no other way to get rid of this excruciating pain.
--- p.
33

If only I could stop this pain that has taken my life away, if only I could stop this pain that has taken away even my human dignity… … .
I could happily accept the way my whole body burned to death.
Even if it meant slowly cutting off each finger and toe, dismembering my entire body, and causing me to bleed to death! If only I could end this pain forever, I feared nothing.
--- p.
106

But even if I was upset, reality didn't change.
I wanted to turn back the lives of my family, who couldn't sleep comfortably or eat comfortably because of me.
I had no choice but to think positively, work hard to receive treatment, and pray for recovery.
--- p.
156

It wasn't because I had strong will or was special.
I, too, am repeatedly overcome by despair and fall.
But even today, the strong desire to love myself more than anyone else and to live happily in the life I have been given is what keeps me going.
Furthermore, I believe that God will use me for the purpose for which He sent me to this earth.
I have the strength to get up again even if I fall down for a moment.
--- p.
168

God is a promise keeper.
I slowly started to recover.
God was a miracle worker.
My professor said that my recovery was an amazing thing that could not be explained medically.
I am a grounded optimist.
The reason for the hope in me is only one thing: my Father is God.
--- p.
216

Publisher's Review
A pain worse than death.
A disease with no cure.
There is a young man living with CRPS, a disease called the cursed disease.
It was a world filled with beauty, but now even the wind blowing through the leaves has become a pain.
It was a life full of joyful dreams, but now the problem is that there are too many days left to live.
Nevertheless, the young man decided not to focus on the things he could no longer do.
Be grateful for what you have now.
I decided not to be discouraged by my body not being whole anymore.
I am happy even though I have lost my health.
I decided not to ask 'why' anymore.
I look forward to the big picture that God will complete in the end.

Recommended by Kim Byeong-sam, Oh Jeong-hyeon, Yoo Ki-seong, Lee Hae-young, Shin Ae-ra, and Oh Eun-ju, who have read the book before.
Supervision and recommendation by Lim Jae-young, Son Byeong-cheol, Kim Tae-seok, and Kim Young-hoon, who treated her.

The author's confession, delivered in a calm tone, awakens us to the reason why we can be joyful even when there is no hope, to be grateful even in the midst of endless suffering, and to not give up in the face of any difficulty.
The book's end-of-book, specifically for CRPS patients, details years of narcotic painkiller injections and emergency room visits, which will be of practical help not only to patients and their families, but also to the medical professionals who treat them.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: July 10, 2024
- Format: Paperback book binding method guide
- Page count, weight, size: 248 pages | 330g | 128*188*18mm
- ISBN13: 9788939870062
- ISBN10: 8939870069

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