[I grab and grab, but I'm not satisfied]
I'm doing everything everyone tells me to do, so why does my bag get heavier and heavier? Why do my worries just keep piling up? Why can't things go my way? Everyone's taking the path they believe is right, but why do the results differ from what I hope for? If the path everyone says is right is truly right for me, then I should be successful just like them. I should be doing my best, just as they did, and I should be satisfied with the results. Why isn't that the case? I'm anxious.
The more I filled it, the more anxious I became.
So the bag just kept getting heavier and heavier.
At some point, the number of bags increased.
He had a bag on his shoulder and another bag in each hand.
And when I got another bag, I put it between my armpits.
When I got a new bag again, I dragged it around with me no matter what.
There was not even a single bit of space left in my body and mind.
---From "Prologue: Can't you leave that heavy bag to me?"

[Giving the first of the day]
It's not that I'm short on time and busy with other things.
Because they did not put God first.
When you put God first, you see what needs to be done right away.
And you can know what to prioritize.
Of course, it has to be 'sincere'.
Even if you finish all your work and shout, “Of course, God comes first!”, it is just a forced, self-deceiving remark.
We often find that what we consider most important and what we actually do do not align.
I wanted to eliminate this kind of inconsistency from my life as much as possible.
For this, I decided to use dawn.
The first day.
I spend the most important time.
It is time to pray.
Making God the first priority in your daily life frees up time for communication.
Through this time, you can learn how to spend your day with God and what to do.
---From "PART 1 Why My Dawn Is A Little Different From Your Dawn"

[The prayer just came out like that]
I woke up at dawn as usual, but it was a different dawn.
Not knowing what to pray for, I closed my eyes and emptied my mind to focus on God.
"father…."
I clasped my hands together but couldn't continue speaking.
I couldn't pray because it was too painful, too burdensome, too shocking, and it felt like there was no hope.
I closed my tired, sunken eyes and remained silent for a moment, as if leaning on God.
I focused on recognizing that God was with me.
I didn't realize how much time had passed, and just cried while clinging to God.
He didn't say anything.
How much time has passed?
A prayer suddenly flowed from deep within my heart.
“God, please use me.
I am here… .
God, please use me.
“I’m here….”
It was clearly my own words, but they came out of nowhere.
It was a prayer I had never even thought of.
It was a prayer without a head or a heart.
But the prayer just came out like that.
---From "PART 2 God's Calling - An Adventure Led by God"

[A sudden sense of relief blooming amidst fear]
The sadness exploded.
Eventually, I became exhausted from my loneliness.
Even as I prayed sadly, I was afraid that I would be forgotten and that I would be alone again.
Was it resentment toward God? Or was it a feeling of self-pity and a need for someone to vent my anger on? Exhausted, I collapsed on the cold floor, unable to hold back my tears.
Now I didn't know what to do or what I wanted to do.
I just closed my eyes in that empty space.
How much time has passed?
A feeling similar to relief suddenly rose from a corner of my heart that was trembling with fear.
It was a warm feeling that enveloped me as if comforting me in the cold air.
I still vividly remember that feeling.
It was like the warmth of the heater I felt in the car on the way to dawn prayer with my aunt on a cold day.
A moment from my childhood that I had forgotten came to mind.
---From "PART 3 Seeing God's Footsteps"

[Reason for giving unwanted answers]
God was already answering prayers.
However, I was so caught up in the fact that I didn't get it right away that I didn't recognize God's answer.
Sometimes, even though I knew it, I pretended not to see or hear it because I didn't want to acknowledge God's direction.
Because it wasn't the way I wanted it, when I wanted it.
"This isn't what I prayed for. God, you haven't given me the answer yet, have you? I'll pray harder and wait," they would say, closing their eyes to God's answer.
God often responds with “wait” or “no.”
That's because there's a reason for it that only God knows about.
The reason you gave me an answer I didn't want was to protect me.
I have summarized the prayers I have offered over the years and God's answers.
When I prayed, “Please don’t let me be lonely!” God already knew my loneliness, but He didn’t give me a solution that would make my loneliness disappear right away.
But as time passed and I looked back, I could inevitably see God's footprints.
---From "PART 4 ​​When God Intervenes in My Life"

[Secret Hand]
For all these reasons, I was perceived as a 'shabby being'.
It wasn't a problem that could be solved by cheering on oneself alone.
People's actions, thoughts, and words toward me reaffirmed my misery and made me even more miserable.
But as time went by, I realized something.
Behind that insignificant appearance, I was constantly growing inside little by little, and behind that was God's protection.
God's hand was upon us quietly and secretly, without being noticed.

---From "PART 5 To You Who Have the Same Worries as I Do"