Prologue│Time may stop for a child, but a mother cannot.

PART 1
Adaptive Intelligence: The Mental Strength Our Children Need Now

01 Children who are afraid of the world outside
“Mom, my child doesn’t talk to his friends.”
There is no parenting book as perfect as the child himself.
Why You Should Acknowledge Your Child's Anxiety
For a child who stands alone in front of the world

02 The power to believe in yourself and move forward into a new world
What if our child is a little different and adaptation is a problem?
In the new world, adaptive intelligence (AQ) takes precedence over IQ and EQ.
Six Competencies That Connect the World, Us, and Me
Adaptive intelligence is essential at each stage of a child's development.
Why Adaptive Intelligence is Essential for Children Surviving in the AI ​​Era

PART 2
Me: A child who lives true to himself with a strong inner self

03 [Self-acceptance] The ability to healthily accept oneself as is
The ugly four-year-old and the even more ugly seven-year-old, the age when you can stand up for yourself
A child's self-acceptance is more important than self-esteem.
Self-acceptance grows amidst parental expectations and encouragement.
Appendix│Self-Acceptance Activity Sheet for Parents and Children

04 [Inner Leadership] The ability to become a leader and lead yourself
The real reason why you are listless and have no motivation or will
Inner Leadership 1: Initiative: The power to plan and execute on one's own.
Inner Leadership 2: Persistence: The power to not give up easily and try again.
Inner Leadership 3: The Power to Shake Off Big and Small Setbacks and Get Back on Track
Appendix│The 8-Step Formula for Building Strong Inner Leadership

PART 3
Us: A child who lives harmoniously in relationships

05 [Scaffolding] Assistance in providing stability to the child's mind through unwavering faith
Moments when discipline is needed vs.
A moment when comfort is needed
Every parent's first role is to be a safe haven for their child.
Children who grow up eating faith become more self-reliant.
Parents Don't Know Their Child's "Area of ​​Reach"
Appendix│Understanding Your Child's Zone of Proximal Development and the Scaffolding Parents Need to Provide

06 [Social Intelligence] The ability to not be easily hurt in any relationship
If you are forcing fake sociality
A child who understands others and expresses his or her own thoughts
A child who learns respect well does well.
"Crossing this line is trespassing!" Setting standards for children in relationships
Are my child's online friends really okay?
Appendix│Social Intelligence Conversation Techniques to Deepen Various Relationships

PART 4
The World: A Child Who Dreams of the Future Without Fear

07 [Recovery Mechanism] The Ability to View Failure Positively
Hurt is inevitable, but healing is optional.
Automated Process for Caring for Children's Minds B RAVO
Recovery Mechanism Step 1: B Breathe Calmly and Check Your Child's State of Mind
Recovery Mechanism Step 2: R Together: Seeing it as our problem, not the child's.
Recovery Mechanism Step 3: A. Facing the problem: Accepting the problem and taking time for recovery.
Step 4 of the Recovery Mechanism: Finding Worthwhile Goals: Children Examine Their Inner Values
Step 5 of the Recovery Mechanism: O. Building Overcoming Experiences: Overcoming Wounds with 'Small Successes'
Appendix│BRAVO Exercise for Parents and Children to Breathe Together

08 [Integrated Thinking] The ability to enjoy change rather than fear it
Why are our children afraid of even small changes?
The best question a parent can ask is, “Why do you think that?”
Children prepare for the future through failure.
If you want to raise a child who looks forward to tomorrow
Appendix│Finding "Smart Solutions" to Develop Integrative Thinking

PART 5
Parents also need adaptive intelligence.

The fantasy of wanting to be the perfect parent
Parents must grow as their children grow.
Because the present is not everything in a child's life.
“If you loved me today, that’s enough.”

“All of a child’s anxiety comes from ‘adaptation.’”
_The secret to children with strong inner strength discovered by a mother with a doctorate in brain science at Seoul National University through over 500 consultations

Children who refuse to go to daycare or school, children who become extremely sensitive and explode with anger as soon as they get home, children who lock themselves in the room and become engrossed in games... ... The author has closely observed and realized the various anxieties that parents and children experience through counseling over 500 cases.
At first glance, children's anxiety may seem like it requires simple behavioral correction, but in fact, it is a problem that arises from difficulty 'adapting'.
The child who refused to go to school had difficulty making new friends.
A child who was particularly irritable at home had high anxiety about what others thought, and a child who seemed to be addicted to games was also avoiding studying because he or she could not keep up with the changed learning progress.
As such, the scope of a child's 'adjustment problems' is broader than parents expect, and it is not easy to pinpoint the cause of the problem by approaching it superficially.

"What mental strength is essential for our anxious children?"
'What can I do to strengthen my child's inner self?'

This book, “My Child’s Adaptive Intelligence,” started from these very concerns.
From the simple task of going to school or kindergarten to forming relationships and learning about the world there, all of these things are bound to be new challenges for children.
If your child seems to be lagging behind, anxious, or overly sensitive at every new stage of growth, it's time to identify the real cause behind their behavior and cultivate their "adaptive intelligence," the invisible mental strength.

“In a world of upheaval,
“Adaptive intelligence (AQ), not IQ or EQ, is essential.”
_6 competencies that help children grow confidently while managing anxiety and fear

"In these times, when IQ and EQ alone aren't enough to solve the challenges we face in life, what is the most essential skill to safeguard our children's happiness? The ability to stand firm against external changes and maintain self-reliance, yet still harmoniously fit into their environment, the ability to navigate challenging relationships in their own way, and the ability to adapt to the future rather than predict it. In other words, adaptive intelligence is essential."

Author Bang Seong-ae, who holds a PhD in brain science from Seoul National University and is the director of the Child and Adolescent Learning Adaptation Research Institute, has garnered attention by introducing the concept of 'adaptive intelligence', which she has been researching for the past 10 years, to Korea for the first time.
Adaptive intelligence, which refers to the core competency that helps people live without losing their individuality even in a rapidly changing external environment, such as an education system that changes every year and a job environment that will change with the emergence of AI, is comprised of a total of six sub-competencies.
And through these six competencies, children who fear change can discover their true selves, find stability within “us,” and learn how to move forward into the “world” without fear.


· [Self-acceptance] The ability to healthily accept oneself as is
· [Inner Leadership] The ability to become a leader and lead yourself.
· [Scaffolding] Assistance that provides stability to the child's mind through unwavering faith
· [Social Intelligence] The ability to not be easily hurt in any relationship
· [Recovery Mechanism] The ability to view failure positively
· [Integrated Thinking] The ability to enjoy change rather than fear it

The world is changing rapidly, and the society our children experience is also changing every day.
The world our children are growing up in may be changing more rapidly, and perhaps more negatively, than the world our parents experienced.
But there is one thing that doesn't change.
That is precisely the fact that 'parenting is a process of believing in the child's strength.'
Even if it's difficult because the results aren't visible, even if negative thoughts make the future seem bleak, even if you're exhausted and want to give up, parents must believe in their children and move forward together toward tomorrow.
And 'adaptive intelligence' will be the best tool and strength that will provide a solid foundation for that process.

“A child’s time may stop, but a mother’s time cannot.”
As a mother who raised a daughter with mutism, I offer my sincere condolences to other mothers who spend time with me.

“Actually, there wasn’t a single test that Ha-eun received that I didn’t know about.
A person who has worked at a university hospital for over a decade, specializing in psychology and neuropsychology, and studying mental issues, can't even understand his own daughter's feelings.
Until then, for me, psychological testing was a tool to objectively and scientifically measure a patient's mind.
I have always believed that the scores and data obtained from that test can provide a reasonable understanding of the patient.
But when those numbers were actually attached to my child's name, they felt different than before.
The numbers on the test paper weren't just numbers; they were the amount of our child's anxiety and fear.
The moment I found out, my heart sank.
“The bar graph that was much higher than the average was my child’s pain that I had not noticed until now.”

What parent wouldn't be fearful and anxious when faced with the various challenges their child faces? Dr. Bang Seong-ae, the author of this book, was an ordinary mother who, heartbroken by her daughter's selective mutism and childhood anxiety, broke down.
However, as a brain science expert and child learning capacity counselor, I believe that children can never find their way when their parents waver, and I offer strong comfort that other parents can do the same just as I silently overcame that time.

If you want your child to live a life true to himself or herself with a strong inner self, to live harmoniously in relationships, and to live a life dreaming of the future without fear, then I urge you to read this book, "My Child's Adaptive Intelligence," right now.
Through this book, you will gain the strength to grow upright and not be broken even in the face of life's adversities, big and small.