“The way your parents treat you
“Children learn to understand and relate to the world.”

A classic parenting book that proves the relationship between a child's brain and mind development through neuroscience.

* Amazon's best-selling parenting book for 20 consecutive years *
* Published in 22 countries worldwide *
* Cumulative sales of 150,000 copies, cumulative YouTube views of over 10 million *
* A parenting book praised by Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Spielberg, and I Am Sam director Jesse Nelson *

Daniel Siegel, a world-renowned bestselling author, cognitive psychologist, and child psychiatrist with over 1 million copies sold, has published his parenting book, "The Parent's Inner World Becomes the Child's World," in Korea.
The book was co-authored by Daniel Siegel and child development expert Mary Hartzel, whose relationship began when Siegel's daughter attended Mary's preschool.
This book, a collaboration between Siegel, who has studied medicine and science for over 40 years, and Mary, who has personally cared for and observed children in the field for 30 years, explores how parents' childhood experiences influence their parenting, helping them gain a deeper understanding of their own life stories.

The book, based on scientific evidence, explains how close parent-child relationships impact children's brain and emotional development, and presents nine key elements necessary for forming a stable parent-child relationship.
It also examines various factors, such as experiences with children, bonds, attachments, and communication methods, and emphasizes that when parents understand and respect their inner selves, their relationships with their children can become healthier.

Parents who understand themselves and develop themselves help their children grow by providing them with a foundation of emotional well-being and stability.
Research on early childhood development shows that children's secure attachment to their parents is closely linked to how well their parents perceive their own childhood experiences.
Contrary to popular belief, childhood experiences do not determine a person's entire life.
No matter how difficult your childhood may be, if you accept those experiences correctly, you can build a healthy relationship with your child without negative interactions.
---From the "Introductory Note"

No matter how much love and good intentions a parent may have, there may be long-standing defense mechanisms that prevent them from accepting their child's behavior.
This is probably the source of ‘parental ambivalence’.
If you fail to consciously recognize and accept when your child's behavior triggers unbearable emotions in you, you risk becoming unable to tolerate their behavior.
This can take the form of ignoring or dismissing children's feelings, which can cause them to become numb to reality and disconnected from their own emotions.
---From "Chapter 1: How Do We Remember?: Experience"

Reflecting on the narrative of your life can help you understand yourself more deeply, integrate your emotions into your daily life, and honor the precious ways of self-understanding that you so deeply value.
As your mind changes through self-reflection, you will find that your experiences with your children will also change.
The mind creates experience, and experience creates the mind.
The personal growth and deeper self-understanding you gain from developing your life story will enhance your mindsight skills and increase your sensitivity to your children.
---From "Chapter 2: How to Understand the World: Stories"

When a child experiences positive emotions such as joy or a sense of accomplishment, parents can share these emotional states and actively reflect on and amplify them with their child.
Likewise, when a child feels negative or uncomfortable emotions, such as disappointment or frustration, parents can empathize with the child's feelings and become a stable presence that comforts them.
Through these moments of bonding, the child feels that the parent is aware of his or her feelings and that he or she exists in the parent's heart.
Children feel good about themselves when they experience connection with adults who respond and empathize with them.
---From "Chapter 3: How Do You Feel?: Emotions"

Expressing emotions directly, simply, and in a comfortable way actually benefits children.
Children want to know not only what their parents think, but also what they feel.
When we express our frustration, anger, disappointment, excitement, pride, or joy, our children learn what is important to them and see a model of healthy emotional expression.
They also learn to empathize by observing how their parents react emotionally.
Only when we respect both our children's experiences and our own can we truly be authentic and passionate beings.
---From "Chapter 4: How to Communicate: Bonding"

Some people worry that attachment research suggests that childhood determines the rest of our lives.
But what the actual research suggests is that relationships with parents can change, and so can children's attachments.
In other words, it is not too late to make positive changes in your child's life.
Research also shows that feeling safe and understood through non-parental care provides nutrients for resilience, the seeds of emotional well-being that will grow with children as they grow.
Relationships with relatives, teachers, childcare workers, counselors, and others are important sources of connection for growing children.
While these relationships cannot replace a secure attachment with a primary caregiver, they certainly play a significant role in a child's emotional development.
---From "Chapter 5: How to Form Attachment: Relationships"

Parents' experiences can be a burden to children.
It is not your child's role to be your emotional support.
If the trauma occurred early, intensely, and repeatedly, you will likely need professional help on your journey toward a coherent story.
Overcoming trauma and hurt is possible and very important for yourself and your children.
Don't be afraid to confront unresolved issues.
I can't let those feelings control me any longer, and I can't let them affect the lives of my children.

---From "Chapter 7: How to Stay Calm and How to Fall Apart: The High Road and the Low Road"