Chapter 1: How Close Am I to My Child?

- How are strong attachments created?
The Hesitant Parent's Heart | The Superpower of Empathy
- Approaching children through proper communication
Parenting Advice You Won't Ask | The Best Gifts You Can Give Your Child | The Communication Between Parents That's Stored in Your Child's Mind
- When unmet needs turn into conflict
Unrecognizable Needs and Wrongly Chosen Words | What Do You Want? | Approaching Your Child's Temperament
- Words that hinder communication between parents and children
How Habitual Words Affect Our Influence | A Collection of Habitual Words | Conflict Provides Opportunity for Reflection

Chapter 2 Communication is appropriate to the child's developmental level.

- Let's take a closer look at our child's language development.
Language is more than just verbal expression | What children understand and how parents communicate | How to help children develop language and what parents shouldn't do | What children don't yet understand
- Support emotional development: Prevent ‘problem emotions’ from arising
When do babies learn to regulate their emotions? | Shyness and Anxiety at 8 Months Old
- Children's developmental milestones
Stages of Autonomy | Tightrope Walking: What Can Parents Do? | How Children Perceive Themselves and Others | Is My Child Purposely Trying to Make Me Angry? | Magical Thinking Stage | 'I'm a Big Brother Now' Stage | How Gender Stereotypes Can Be Formed | How to Foster Autonomy | Raising Expectations for School | Protecting Your Child's Privacy

Chapter 3: What Our Precious Children Need

- Parents see, hear, and feel first
Why You Need to Understand Your Child's Needs | Children Who Have Their Needs Meet Will Cooperate with Their Parents
Empathetic communication is hard, but it can be done.
Timing and eye level | Eye contact | Listening | Understanding | Physical contact | Timing and undivided attention | Lighthearted humor
- When ordering something, be clear, brief, and positive!
How to Make Your Words Resonate with Your Child | Words That Stick in Your Child's Mind
- Setting boundaries: For your own garden
Boundaries That Set Direction | Temperament and Parenting Style
- Words that have a positive influence on children
Positive Self-Talk | Words That Build a Positive Self-Identity | Conversations Through Open-Ended Questions

Chapter 4: What Parents Need to Know About Parenting

- Facing parental stress
What's stressful? | 'Nothing works without me!'
- Overcoming parental stress
Stress Scale | Read Your Needs and Stress Signals First | Listen to Your Inner Companion | Solutions Come from the People Around You | How Do Single Parents Cope with Stress?
- Self-care: Supporting myself
Monsters that Follow Me All Day | Practice Supporting Myself
- Old wounds inherited from parents
What is Belief? | Questions to Ask Yourself and Your Child | Clarifying What We've "Inherited" | Finding New Coping Strategies
- Inner monologue and dialogue
When Conversations Get Heated | How to Stop the Spiraling Heat

Chapter 5 has a very special power at the end.

- Love in words
The Love Language of Parents | Feeling Connected | Humor and Laughter as Healers | Relationships Strengthened by the Right Compliment | Respectful Feedback | Loving Kindness | Intimate Touch | Unconditional Love
- The emotions contained in words
Recognizing and Naming Emotions | How Big is the Problem?
- Short expressions to watch out for
'Never' and 'Always' | 'But' | 'Have to' | 'No' | Nicknames and Petites
- Words that ruin your relationship with your child
Commanding words | Words with hidden threats | Intimidating words | Words that induce guilt and shame | Words that belittle | Words that criticize | Words that make comparisons | Punishment and yelling | Self-fulfilling prophecy
- Words that become meaningless
"I'm sorry" | "Thank you" | Let's remove the barricades between conversations.

Chapter 6: Conflicts are resolved when you speak to your child in his or her own language.

- Dressing War
Keep these things in mind | If clothes could talk | If your child forgets to put on clothes | If your slippers run away
- Kindergarten and school, a huge change for children
A Letter from Kindergarten | Separation Anxiety in Children | Pick-Up Wars: If Your Child Resists Going Home | The First Day of School
- Grocery shopping and playground
"I'll buy one more candy" | Companionship | Tag at the supermarket | Playground conflict
- Problems using electronic devices
Rules of Use for Children and Families | How to Bring Your Child's Attention Back to Reality
- When siblings fight
Interfering vs.
Do Nothing | Co-op Games for Siblings
- Doing Homework: Unlocking Your Potential Through Conversation
Homework-Related Situations | Learning Strategies That Work for My Child
- Have fun brushing your teeth
Enough with the smart-aleck comments | Let's research together.
- Sleeping time
Attachment Behavior in Children | Concerned About Your Child's Sleep | Evening Routine | "Please Let Me Sleep Alone"

Chapter 7: Moments When Parental Explanation Is Essential

- A scared child
Things Children Are Fears | Understanding Fear | Let's Explain 'Fear' | If You're Afraid of Sleeping
- A quiet child
If your child is late in speaking | Selective Mutism
- A child who is very shy
Building strengths and building friendships
- Visit a hospital
Uncomfortable Tests | Surgery Date Approaching
- When parents are mentally ill
Relieve your child's guilt | Reassure your child
- If you face the death of a family member
From infancy to 3 years old | From 4 to 6 years old | From 6 or 7 years old and up
- When parents divorce
Breakup Conversations | Words of Assurance
- Sex education for happy children
Children's Sex | Preventing Sexual Violence
- Somewhat heavy topics that children are curious about
The issue of racism | The issue of war

“Children grow up eating their parents’ words!”
The miracle created by strong attachment and the superpower of empathy.

No matter how mischievous a child may be, there are definitely times when he or she obeys his or her parents and smiles.
Thanks to such moments, the atmosphere at home becomes much more comfortable.
How did the parents feel about their child at that moment? The author, a popular German psychotherapist, educator, and developmental psychology expert, asserts that it was because the parents unleashed the superpower of "empathy."
Children always want their feelings to be understood.
Then, they try to convey their signals by pulling on their parents' clothes, smiling, or clinging to them like a piece of gum.
How do you, as a parent, normally communicate with such children? What words do you choose? How carefully and skillfully do you speak?

This book fundamentally emphasizes empathetic communication between parents and children.
The key is for parents to communicate with their children using loving words and empathetic language.
This will change many aspects of your life, not only by strengthening the child's personality but also by strengthening the attachment between parent and child.


Chapter 1 explores the meaning of good parenting and the importance of empathetic communication.
Chapter 2 recognizes the stages of children's language and emotional development and examines the communication methods needed at each stage.
Chapter 3 explores how parents can understand and interpret their children's needs.
Chapter 4 is a story for parents, offering advice on how to avoid being swept away by parenting stress.
Chapter 5 explains how language, from single words to entire sentences, influences a child's thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Chapter 6 introduces appropriate expressions that can help resolve various conflicts in daily life.
Chapter 7 teaches parents how to appropriately explain difficult topics to their children.


Children who grow up hearing their parents' words of intimacy, words of emotional stability, words at eye level, and words that acknowledge their needs can live surprisingly strong and positive lives.
This book provides a wealth of conversational examples and solutions to support this point.
Above all, it is full of expressions, phrases, and behavioral advice that can be easily used in everyday life.
It changes the 'clumsy expressions' that every mother and father in the world has already said countless times into 'words with a clear purpose'.
Thanks to this appeal, the book became a German Amazon bestseller immediately after its publication, and the effectiveness of the conversation techniques introduced in the book is proven by real-life reviews from readers.


Self-regulation, self-esteem, initiative, and even language skills
Parents' words, words, words that influence everything in a child's life

The author emphasizes that parents can communicate more effectively when they understand the true needs behind their children's behavior.
When parents say, “I think you need this right now,” children understand themselves better.
Then, one day, they will learn to manage their own needs and take responsibility for themselves without their parents.
This improves the child's empathetic speaking and conversation skills.
According to numerous studies, the more attentive and warm parents are to their children, the better their language skills will be.
And parental empathy instills positive beliefs and self-image in children.


The author explains that children who are securely connected to their parents grow up to show many good qualities.
First, even when faced with difficult situations, you can overcome them, and even in problematic situations, you can find ways to overcome them by trusting in your own abilities.
They also tend to have high empathy and excellent social skills, and are able to form and maintain good interpersonal relationships.
They are able to adapt well to unfamiliar situations by creatively finding solutions, and they have developed social skills and high self-esteem.
They are generally able to face their emotions and name them, enjoy helping others, and know how to ask for help when needed.
It is important to keep in mind that the power of a parent's words is so great that it can influence everything in a child's life.


Rather than 'how to say it'
Let's first think about 'why did you say that'!

Many parents want to talk to their children well, but when they are tired, they say hurtful things and feel guilty.
At this point, the author urges parents to think about what they habitually say and when they say it.
By paying close attention to when and how you frequently say such things to your child, you can find ways to improve your own speech.
The author also encourages parents to consider the real message behind their words.


Eun-kyung Lee, a parenting education expert who recommended this book, said that this book is special in that it makes you look at 'why you said that' rather than 'how to say it'.
He added, “Refining your words is like looking inside yourself.”
The author's heart-warming gaze also turns to parents.
The author asks parents if they have any beliefs or habitual sayings they inherited from their parents.
Parents, too, have powerful emotions stemming from childhood memories and unresolved conflicts.
And he asks us to examine how our beliefs about parenting and the way of thinking we inherit from our parents are influencing us and our children today.


For this reason, the author advises that parents should not overlook their own needs as much as they should acknowledge their children's needs.
And it gently comforts parents by explaining step-by-step how to pay attention to their needs, relieve stress, conserve energy, and deal with negative factors inherited from their parents during childhood.


“Words like this ruin your relationship with your child!”
Things Parents Should Never Say

When children experience positive emotional experiences from their parents, they cooperate well with their parents.
However, if a child is ready to cooperate but then hears negative comments, he or she will stop cooperating.
These include words that command, words that threaten, words that cause guilt and shame, words that ignore, words that criticize, and words that compare.
The author points out words that cause problems between parents and children and urges caution in using such words.
He also says that if you accidentally blurt something out, you should be able to apologize to your child.

There are also short phrases that you should be careful about in everyday life.
These are words that have a long-lasting impact on a child's development and behavior.
An example is the word 'absolutely'.
Instead of belittling your child by saying, “You never listen to me!”, you should express your wishes as positively as possible by saying, “I wish you would listen to me.”

The expression “you have to do ~” should also be avoided as much as possible.
There's a huge difference between "I need to get this done now" and "Let's get this done now."
The same goes for saying 'no' for an unclear reason.
Because there is no effective response to the word “no,” the child continues to do the behavior.
Instead of saying, “Don’t jump on the sofa,” say, “Play on the floor.”


There are many ways to clearly express your love to your child without saying “I love you!”
But the author says most parents still don't know these methods.
The author shares a wealth of love languages ​​that parents can offer, without necessarily requiring them to do anything outrageous.
If you practice these words one by one, your child's expressions and behaviors, as well as his or her entire life, will change for the better.