“What you say changes your world.”

This is the revised second edition of 『Nonviolent Communication: The Language of Peace in Everyday Life, the Language of Life』, which has been a steady seller since its first publication in the fall of 2004.
We have refined and revised sentences and content to make it easier and more comfortable for readers, and have supplemented vocabulary lists to express feelings, thereby increasing practicality and completeness.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method of expressing one's feelings honestly without blaming or criticizing the other person.
And it is a conversation method that allows you to hear the feelings and true desires of the other person behind their words, no matter how they express them.
The goal of nonviolent communication is to build quality human relationships based on mutual empathy. It focuses on understanding and respecting each other's needs, connecting heart to heart, and finding ways to meet everyone's needs.

Author Marshall Rosenberg notes how much the language we use plays a role in our relationships.
He was keenly aware of the adage, “The next thing you say will change your world.”
Arun Gandhi, who wrote the preface to the first edition, said, “If we change ourselves, we can change the world.
“Changing ourselves begins with changing the language we use and the way we communicate every day,” he said.

Nonviolence allows the positive aspects within us to manifest themselves.
So, instead of the selfishness, greed, hatred, prejudice, suspicion, and aggression that usually dominate our thoughts, let us fill our hearts with love, respect, understanding, gratitude, compassion, and consideration for others.
We sometimes hear this:
“This world is so cruel that we must become cruel to survive.” I don’t agree with this argument.
--- p.13

While researching what turns us away from our natural compassion, I discovered that certain words and conversational styles can lead people to act violently.
I call this a “life-alienating conversation.”
One type of conversation that alienates life is moralistic judgment.
This is saying that someone else's behavior that doesn't match your values ​​is bad or wrong.
--- p.45

The second element needed to express yourself is feeling.
As we expand our vocabulary to express our feelings clearly and specifically, we can connect more easily with each other.
And acknowledging our true inner selves by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflict. NVC distinguishes between words expressing feelings and words expressing thoughts, evaluations, and interpretations.
--- p.91

To make a genuine request, we need to be clear about the purpose of our request.
If your goal is simply to change the other person or their behavior, or to get them to do what you want, NVC is not an appropriate method. NVC was created for those who want others to change of their own accord and respond with compassion. The goal of NVC is to build relationships based on honesty and empathy.

--- p.148

Empathy is understanding and respecting what another person is experiencing.
But instead of empathizing, we feel a strong urge to explain our views or feelings, give advice, or reassure the other person.
But empathy requires us to empty our hearts and listen to the other person with our whole being.
--- p.185

Resolving conflicts using NVC is different from traditional mediation methods.
Instead of focusing on issues, solutions, or compromises, the first thing to do is to identify the needs of both parties, and only then find ways to meet those needs.
--- p.307

NVC recommends listening with empathy when receiving words of gratitude, just as you would when listening to anything else.
Soon, you will be asked to listen to how your actions contributed to the happiness of others, how those people felt and how their needs were met as a result of those actions.
By doing so, we can joyfully embrace the fact that we all have the power to improve the quality of each other's lives.

--- p.353