For those of you who have ever wondered, ‘Could I have ADHD?’
A book written by people with ADHD for people with ADHD, to help you properly understand adult ADHD!

For those of you who are lazy but also a perfectionist, impulsive but also overthinking, and who procrastinate until you have to, only to end up in hyper-focus mode and finish things, have ever wondered, "Could I be suffering from adult ADHD?"
Author Meredith Carder never associated herself with ADHD, as she associated it with distractible boys who couldn't sit still in class.
Then one day, while looking at my daughter's neuropsychological questionnaire about concentration, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and motivation, I noticed that her answers were identical to my own.
It was then that I first thought, 'Could I also have adult ADHD?'


The ADHD diagnosis that both mother and daughter received freed them from the small, rigid prison that had held them captive to self-blame, shame, and remorse.
After working as an ADHD coach and having many conversations with people with ADHD of various ages around the world, the author wrote a book about ADHD, tailored to the ADHD brain, and written by a person with ADHD, for adults with ADHD.
Because it was a book I absolutely needed.


This book contains 21 key words for understanding ADHD: emotional dysregulation, short working memory, time management issues, "all is equal" thinking, rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, perfectionism, mask-wearing, overwhelm, burnout... If you've been diagnosed with ADHD or know someone close to you who does, this book will be helpful.
Or, if you're struggling with a recurring problem that's plaguing your life, ADHD might offer some insight.
As British psychologist Lalita Suglani recommends, this book will be “a game changer in our lives.”

Most of us feel that we have tremendous attention spans rather than lacking them.
We often appear to be daydreaming or distracted because our attention is often distracted by the countless thoughts that rush in.
A more precise way to describe our concentration problem would be 'attention control disorder'.
In other words, we have difficulty 'regulating' our attention or 'directing' it in a particular direction.
As a result, you have to constantly try to bring your attention back to what needs to be done right now.
“What does attention control disorder feel like?
To exaggerate a little, it's like a million thoughts trying to get into the circuit.
Some of these thoughts are related to what you're doing now, some aren't, some are important, some are off-topic, and some are completely irrelevant.
“All the thoughts come at you so quickly that you don’t even have time to organize or prioritize,” says Kim from our community.
--- From "Attention Control Disorder"

Unexpressed hyperactivity is like a can of soda.
You can shake the can to keep the pressure inside, but the moment you open the lid, it explodes.
If we suppress our hyperactivity for too long, the same thing happens to us.
When the opportunity to express it finally comes, it may be through fits of anger, reckless and risky behavior, or indulging in addictive substances.
The consequences of continuing to hide hyperactivity are enormous.
If you've spent your whole life trying to control your hyperactivity, imagine what it would be like if you turned it towards venting.
Perhaps you danced more often during your workday? Perhaps you sang in the shower or enjoyed chatting with friends after work? The importance of not denying your hyperactivity but instead finding an outlet for it cannot be overstated.

--- From "Hyperactivity"

If you don't properly control your impulsivity, it can lead to extreme situations, such as quitting your job in a fit of anger.
Impulsivity that is not properly identified or managed can, over time, undermine our confidence and trustworthiness.
Impulsivity also takes a toll economically.
If you've ever found a package in your mailbox that you don't remember ordering, you won't be surprised by what I'm saying.
For people with ADHD who have difficulty controlling their impulses, modern society is a veritable minefield.
New technologies that allow us to buy things online at lightning speed appear every day.
You can buy things with just one or two clicks.
Websites and mobile phones store our information and deliver marketing that creates a sense of urgency.
Companies consult with neuroscientists to design platforms that cleverly manipulate our brain's decision-making processes and then drive purchases. ADHD brains are more susceptible to sophisticated marketing tactics than neurotypical brains.
Many people with ADHD fall victim to such marketing and are left with a emptied bank account, shock, and shame.
In today's consumer environment, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of impulse buying if we don't accurately recognize the situation and respond with appropriate strategies.

--- From "Impulsivity"

The ADHD brain has difficulty progressing through tasks step by step, and is easily distracted by other thoughts or external stimuli, especially when moving from one step to the next.
If you frequently turn around without closing your locker door, leave your tumbler filled with coffee on the roof of your car before driving off, or forget why you entered a room, you may have a problem with your working memory. The ADHD brain likes to jump to the next step before fully understanding the steps required to complete the first task.

--- From "Working Memory"

Sometimes, time loss disguises itself as procrastination.
Think of the last time you put something off for months because you thought you didn't have time.
How did it feel when you finally finished it? It probably took much less time than you expected.
What happened next? Did you blame yourself for putting it off for so long? That's how time loss can destroy our confidence and induce shame as people with ADHD.

--- From "Problems of Perception and Management of Time"

I liken this to two different types of 'kitchen sieves'.
A neurotypical brain is like a sieve with small holes.
The only thing that can pass through a hole is water. The ADHD brain is like a sieve with large holes.
Water passes through it, but so do other ingredients, including pasta.
Not only does more pass through than we intended, but it also quickly leaks out through a large hole.
Our brains try to process them all, but eventually become completely overwhelmed.

--- From "Overstimulation"

Rumination can have negative effects on our lives, but it also brings us amazing gifts.
The internal state circuit, the epicenter of rumination, is also where creativity is generated.
Having a circuit that can go silent at any moment means processing a tremendous amount of thoughts every day.
These thoughts may manifest as negative ruminations, but they can also manifest as self-reflection, a deeper awareness, or a sensitivity to the surrounding environment that others may not notice.
An overactive endocrine circuit is one of the many reasons why people with ADHD may be "out-of-the-box thinkers" and "connect-the-dots" people.
If you can cultivate the ability to overcome excessive negative rumination, you can reap the benefits of mind wandering.

--- From "Rumination"

Dichotomous thinking also affects how people with ADHD take care of themselves.
When it comes to eating, sleeping, and exercising, we either do it right or we don't do it at all.
This lack of flexibility makes us the pawns of the health industry.
Many of us sign up for the latest fad diet or high-intensity exercise program.
But the moment our obsession disappears, we tend to go in the opposite direction.
If you can't do a rigorous program 100% perfectly, then don't even try.
Our dictionary doesn't have things like "try to eat a little more vegetables" or "walk every day if possible."
It's either lying on the couch or running a marathon.

--- From "All or Nothing"

Perfectionism blocks you from moving toward your goals.
Because deep down we know we won't be able to do it perfectly, so we convince ourselves not to try.
Perfectionism can manifest itself in everyday life and can paralyze us at any time.
We don't know how to do something perfectly, so we end up doing nothing.
If you don't run for an hour and sweat, it doesn't count as exercise.
Time is short, so we waste the 30 minutes we are given by lazing around on the sofa.
I don't have the energy to make healthy meals with leftover ingredients, so I ignore hunger until I become a raging beast.

--- From "Toxic Perfectionism"

People with ADHD think a lot.
It can be our greatest asset or our greatest curse.
Even if we try to convince ourselves that if we think about it carefully, we can find a way out of our overwhelm, we almost always end up failing.
Overwhelm is best relieved through action.
As we discussed in Chapter 10, feelings of overwhelm often begin in our brain's internal circuitry.
When we take action and move into the task-performing circuit, the internal state circuit quiets down and a pressure valve opens that creates a feeling of overwhelm.
Just taking action relieves the pressure.
You might think you should do the hardest and most rational thing first, but it might be easier to do the easiest and most fun thing first.
If something is overwhelming, find the task with the lowest mental barrier and do that first.
The dopamine released through that activity will help build motivation and drive.
Dopamine can act as a catalyst to help you escape from overwhelm and get into the flow of work.

--- From "Overwhelming"