Your body is yours
 |
Description
Book Introduction
When, where, and how should we begin sex education for our children? This book is a guide for parents who have been putting off sex education for their children because it feels overwhelming and vague.
Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, who has been teaching sex education to parents, teenagers, and educators around the world for 30 years, says that the most important things to teach children when educating them about sex are definitely ‘boundaries’ and ‘consent.’
A boundary is a kind of fence that we erect to respect each other.
The author says that children should be able to create their own boundaries and also respect the boundaries of others.
This is a very important starting point for a child to accept sex in a healthy and safe way.
Children learn boundaries and develop a strong sense of ownership over their own bodies, but they also learn that they need to respect the boundaries of others just as they want their own boundaries to be respected.
This is the foundation for healthy human relationships that children will develop in the future, and it is the basic ethics that they will acquire as they live in the world.
Instead of explaining difficult and abstract concepts to children, this book details how to talk to them at their level so that they can naturally internalize the meaning.
It provides parents with a practical guide that they can immediately apply by presenting everyday examples that their child has experienced or observed, role-playing, open-ended questions, and conversation scripts.
Dr. Schroeder's "Boundary Respecting Sex Education," based on the dignity that all children deserve, is emerging as a new paradigm of sex education suitable for a changing era and is receiving great response from parents around the world.
A unique start to sex education that respects boundaries.
For parents who were worried and confused about how to approach sex education, this book will clearly guide them through the solid fundamentals and core of sex education, and their confusion will now turn into confidence.
Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, who has been teaching sex education to parents, teenagers, and educators around the world for 30 years, says that the most important things to teach children when educating them about sex are definitely ‘boundaries’ and ‘consent.’
A boundary is a kind of fence that we erect to respect each other.
The author says that children should be able to create their own boundaries and also respect the boundaries of others.
This is a very important starting point for a child to accept sex in a healthy and safe way.
Children learn boundaries and develop a strong sense of ownership over their own bodies, but they also learn that they need to respect the boundaries of others just as they want their own boundaries to be respected.
This is the foundation for healthy human relationships that children will develop in the future, and it is the basic ethics that they will acquire as they live in the world.
Instead of explaining difficult and abstract concepts to children, this book details how to talk to them at their level so that they can naturally internalize the meaning.
It provides parents with a practical guide that they can immediately apply by presenting everyday examples that their child has experienced or observed, role-playing, open-ended questions, and conversation scripts.
Dr. Schroeder's "Boundary Respecting Sex Education," based on the dignity that all children deserve, is emerging as a new paradigm of sex education suitable for a changing era and is receiving great response from parents around the world.
A unique start to sex education that respects boundaries.
For parents who were worried and confused about how to approach sex education, this book will clearly guide them through the solid fundamentals and core of sex education, and their confusion will now turn into confidence.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Entering
Guidelines: How can I talk to my child about boundaries?
Chapter 1.
As soon as a baby is born, he or she begins to explore his or her body.
Chapter 2.
My body is mine!
Chapter 3.
On sexual assault: 'good' touch and 'bad' touch?
Chapter 4.
Let them know that the body has boundaries too.
Chapter 5.
I have my own alarm system inside my body.
Chapter 6.
Teach respect and consent
Chapter 7.
Practice saying “no”
Chapter 8.
Empathy is the key to understanding respect.
Chapter 9.
Respect the boundaries your child sets.
Chapter 10.
A child is a mirror of his parents.
Chapter 11.
Create a network of 'trusted adults'
Chapter 12.
Protect your child from predators
Frequently Asked Questions and Answers
Read more
Acknowledgements
Guidelines: How can I talk to my child about boundaries?
Chapter 1.
As soon as a baby is born, he or she begins to explore his or her body.
Chapter 2.
My body is mine!
Chapter 3.
On sexual assault: 'good' touch and 'bad' touch?
Chapter 4.
Let them know that the body has boundaries too.
Chapter 5.
I have my own alarm system inside my body.
Chapter 6.
Teach respect and consent
Chapter 7.
Practice saying “no”
Chapter 8.
Empathy is the key to understanding respect.
Chapter 9.
Respect the boundaries your child sets.
Chapter 10.
A child is a mirror of his parents.
Chapter 11.
Create a network of 'trusted adults'
Chapter 12.
Protect your child from predators
Frequently Asked Questions and Answers
Read more
Acknowledgements
Detailed image
Into the book
Why is it so important to teach children boundaries? Learning boundaries and consent forms the foundation for all future relationships.
It is also essential for building self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Self-esteem refers to feelings of self-affirmation, and self-efficacy refers to the belief that one can perform actions that are beneficial to oneself.
Additionally, understanding boundaries and consent is the cornerstone of building healthy friendships and family relationships.
It also serves as a foundation for forming healthy, complete relationships when a child wants to have sexual or romantic relationships later in life.
Not only do children learn not to be taken advantage of by others, they also learn not to take advantage of others.
---p.15 From "Guidelines: How to Talk to Your Child About 'Boundaries'"
Many parents say this:
He said he hadn't thought to talk about it himself because his child hadn't asked him about sex yet.
However, you should not wait until your child asks questions before discussing any topic with him or her.
Whether your child is ready or not, you as a parent must bring up the topic first.
As children grow, they acquire information through all kinds of channels.
Through other family members, friends, classmates, the media, and even strangers.
Among them, your voice should be the loudest and clearest.
---p.24 From "Guidelines: How to Talk to Your Child About 'Boundaries'"
Actually, I don't really like the terms 'good' touch and 'bad' touch.
I understand that young children need this kind of explanation.
Because the explanation becomes simple and clear.
The problem is that reality may not always be definitely good or definitely bad.
Especially in ambiguous situations where neither one nor the other is certain, it is difficult for young children to make judgments.
Another concern is that when the word "bad" is associated with a specific body part, it can be interpreted to mean that the part itself is bad.
The resulting shame can persist through adolescence and into adulthood, and can even affect future sexual relationships.
---p.54 From “On Sexual Violence: ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ Contact”
A boundary is a fence.
Boundaries sometimes tell us what not to do, but often tell us what to do.
So, whatever the boundary, it's good to explain it in relation to why it exists.
For example, “Don’t touch the stove.
It's so hot you might burn yourself.
“It’ll really hurt if you touch it.”
The account of boundaries carries with it the essential lesson of causality: that certain actions have consequences, sometimes harmful ones.
---p.63 From “Please tell me that the body also has boundaries”
Be consistent.
When I do workshops with parents, I often hear them resist the suggestion, “Don’t force your child to kiss Grandma.”
If you tell a child, “Your body is yours,” and then force them to kiss or hug others when they don’t want to, you are taking away their bodily autonomy.
Even if the other person is your own grandmother.
It's as if it's sending the message, "Some people who try to touch your body can refuse, but some people you have to obey."
This contradiction can confuse children and put them at risk for unwanted attention and contact.
When boundaries are clear, children can develop a sense of ownership over their bodies.
Only then will you gain the strength to reject the moment your boundaries are violated.
---p.68 From “Please tell me that the body also has boundaries”
“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” This helps children understand respect clearly and concretely.
If your child is still young, he or she may lack impulse control skills.
In other words, you have to tell it over and over again.
There are also consequences that can arise when a child ignores a rule even though he or she knows it.
Teaching this to your child is not only for their safety, but also for the safety of others.
For example, if your child pushes or hits another child, quickly stop the behavior and say something like this:
“How would you feel if someone hit you? Would you feel good? No.
The same goes for other people.
So you shouldn't hit other people either." Children easily understand when I explain this by directly comparing it to something I have experienced.
---p.87 From “Teaching Respect and Agreement”
As children learn to empathize, they learn to respect other people's body boundaries.
It's not because I'm afraid of getting in trouble, but because I feel like it's the right thing to do.
If we go back to the moral golden rule mentioned earlier, we can think like this.
'I know how hard it is to feel bad.
I've been there too.
So I hope other people don't feel that way.'
---p.107 From “Empathy is the Key to Understanding Respect”
While it's crucial to protect your child when they're young, you can't and shouldn't be there for them every minute of every second.
You need to teach your child the skills he needs to protect himself even when you are not around.
Furthermore, you need to make sure that your child can protect himself when he or she grows up and no longer lives with you.
---p.149 From "Protecting Children from Predators"
As children learn to navigate the world, they will be able to obey and respect adults when necessary, but they will also be able to firmly reject adults who touch their bodies in inappropriate ways or expose or allow them to touch themselves in inappropriate ways.
You also want your child to learn how to communicate and relate politely and respectfully, but also to know when to openly resist or be rude to others.
But this teaching can easily feel contradictory, and contradictions are very confusing to young children.
It is also essential for building self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Self-esteem refers to feelings of self-affirmation, and self-efficacy refers to the belief that one can perform actions that are beneficial to oneself.
Additionally, understanding boundaries and consent is the cornerstone of building healthy friendships and family relationships.
It also serves as a foundation for forming healthy, complete relationships when a child wants to have sexual or romantic relationships later in life.
Not only do children learn not to be taken advantage of by others, they also learn not to take advantage of others.
---p.15 From "Guidelines: How to Talk to Your Child About 'Boundaries'"
Many parents say this:
He said he hadn't thought to talk about it himself because his child hadn't asked him about sex yet.
However, you should not wait until your child asks questions before discussing any topic with him or her.
Whether your child is ready or not, you as a parent must bring up the topic first.
As children grow, they acquire information through all kinds of channels.
Through other family members, friends, classmates, the media, and even strangers.
Among them, your voice should be the loudest and clearest.
---p.24 From "Guidelines: How to Talk to Your Child About 'Boundaries'"
Actually, I don't really like the terms 'good' touch and 'bad' touch.
I understand that young children need this kind of explanation.
Because the explanation becomes simple and clear.
The problem is that reality may not always be definitely good or definitely bad.
Especially in ambiguous situations where neither one nor the other is certain, it is difficult for young children to make judgments.
Another concern is that when the word "bad" is associated with a specific body part, it can be interpreted to mean that the part itself is bad.
The resulting shame can persist through adolescence and into adulthood, and can even affect future sexual relationships.
---p.54 From “On Sexual Violence: ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ Contact”
A boundary is a fence.
Boundaries sometimes tell us what not to do, but often tell us what to do.
So, whatever the boundary, it's good to explain it in relation to why it exists.
For example, “Don’t touch the stove.
It's so hot you might burn yourself.
“It’ll really hurt if you touch it.”
The account of boundaries carries with it the essential lesson of causality: that certain actions have consequences, sometimes harmful ones.
---p.63 From “Please tell me that the body also has boundaries”
Be consistent.
When I do workshops with parents, I often hear them resist the suggestion, “Don’t force your child to kiss Grandma.”
If you tell a child, “Your body is yours,” and then force them to kiss or hug others when they don’t want to, you are taking away their bodily autonomy.
Even if the other person is your own grandmother.
It's as if it's sending the message, "Some people who try to touch your body can refuse, but some people you have to obey."
This contradiction can confuse children and put them at risk for unwanted attention and contact.
When boundaries are clear, children can develop a sense of ownership over their bodies.
Only then will you gain the strength to reject the moment your boundaries are violated.
---p.68 From “Please tell me that the body also has boundaries”
“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” This helps children understand respect clearly and concretely.
If your child is still young, he or she may lack impulse control skills.
In other words, you have to tell it over and over again.
There are also consequences that can arise when a child ignores a rule even though he or she knows it.
Teaching this to your child is not only for their safety, but also for the safety of others.
For example, if your child pushes or hits another child, quickly stop the behavior and say something like this:
“How would you feel if someone hit you? Would you feel good? No.
The same goes for other people.
So you shouldn't hit other people either." Children easily understand when I explain this by directly comparing it to something I have experienced.
---p.87 From “Teaching Respect and Agreement”
As children learn to empathize, they learn to respect other people's body boundaries.
It's not because I'm afraid of getting in trouble, but because I feel like it's the right thing to do.
If we go back to the moral golden rule mentioned earlier, we can think like this.
'I know how hard it is to feel bad.
I've been there too.
So I hope other people don't feel that way.'
---p.107 From “Empathy is the Key to Understanding Respect”
While it's crucial to protect your child when they're young, you can't and shouldn't be there for them every minute of every second.
You need to teach your child the skills he needs to protect himself even when you are not around.
Furthermore, you need to make sure that your child can protect himself when he or she grows up and no longer lives with you.
---p.149 From "Protecting Children from Predators"
As children learn to navigate the world, they will be able to obey and respect adults when necessary, but they will also be able to firmly reject adults who touch their bodies in inappropriate ways or expose or allow them to touch themselves in inappropriate ways.
You also want your child to learn how to communicate and relate politely and respectfully, but also to know when to openly resist or be rude to others.
But this teaching can easily feel contradictory, and contradictions are very confusing to young children.
---p.150 From "Protecting Children from Predators"
Publisher's Review
Where should I start with sex education? Please start with the most important things.
“Your body is yours.
And we are all precious.”
A Parent's Guide to Sex Education for Your Child, Starting with Respect for Boundaries
As soon as a child leaves the newborn stage, the parents begin to worry.
I feel like I need to do some sex education, but I don't know where, when, or how to start.
It's embarrassing every time I take off my diaper and he starts playing with his genitals and I have to be careful with him.
This book is a sex education guide for anxious and confused parents.
Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, who has been teaching sex education to parents, teenagers, and educators around the world for 30 years, says that the most important things to teach children when educating them about sex are definitely ‘boundaries’ and ‘consent.’
A boundary is a kind of fence that we erect to respect each other.
When young children are introduced to sex, the priority should not be sexual knowledge, but rather creating boundaries for themselves and respecting each other's boundaries.
This is a very important starting point for children to accept sex in a healthy and safe way.
Children learn boundaries and develop a strong sense of ownership over their bodies, naturally developing a sense of self, body positivity, and self-efficacy.
I also learn that boundaries are not just mine, they are for everyone in the world, so I need to respect the boundaries of others just as I want my boundaries to be respected.
This is the foundation for healthy human relationships that children will develop in the future, and it is a basic ethical code that they must acquire while living in the world.
Dr. Schroeder's "Boundary Respecting Sex Education," based on the dignity that all children deserve, is receiving a great response from parents around the world as a new paradigm of sex education suitable for a changing era.
A unique start to sex education that respects boundaries.
It will provide a clear and focused starting point for parents who are at a loss as to what to teach their children.
How can I provide sex education? Please teach it in a way that's appropriate for young children.
12 Specific, Practical Strategies for Learning Boundaries and Consent
Each child has his or her own way of doing things.
The book advises against simply telling a child, “Respect my boundaries.”
It provides very specific guidance on how to explain complex and abstract concepts such as 'boundaries', 'consent', 'respect', and 'privacy', as well as sensitive and difficult topics such as 'uncomfortable touch' and 'secrets' that must be disclosed to parents, at a level that is suitable for children.
Instead of explaining the concept, the method of having the child internalize the meaning by giving everyday examples that they have experienced or seen directly, and the dialogue script organized into speech bubbles such as role-playing and open-ended questions are practical enough to be applied as is.
For example, when discussing the topic of sexual violence, avoid using terms like “good touch” and “bad touch.”
Because reality may not always be definitely good or definitely bad.
For a young child, ambiguous situations where neither the right nor the wrong are certain are bound to be confusing.
He also warns that when the word "bad" is associated with a specific body part, it can be interpreted to mean that the part itself is bad, and the resulting shame can have negative effects beyond adolescence and into adulthood.
Dr. Schroeder offers an alternative, very concise and clear set of guidelines that children must communicate to their parents, thus avoiding confusion in children and also relieving the confusion of parents who must guide them.
I gradually became clearer about how to educate my child about sex, which I had been putting off because it was vague, and I became more confident in leading my child as a parent.
■ What children can learn from this book
- The human body is a wonderful thing, but there are times and places where it's okay to touch the genitals, and times and places where it's not okay to do so.
- I have the right to decide who touches my body and how.
- I also have a responsibility to respect other people's boundaries.
- I should treat others the way I want to be treated.
- If anyone, under any circumstances, makes me uncomfortable in any way, they can tell the parent at any time.
Even if that person is someone I know or a family member.
A child who values himself and respects others equally.
If you want to raise a confident child without prejudice about sex, a child with discernment and uprightness,
I recommend reading this book before any other sex education book.
“Many parents say,
"Can't we just let our children be a little more naive?" Whether or not your child is ready, as a parent, you need to be the first to bring up the topic.
As children grow, they acquire information through all kinds of channels.
Through other family members, friends, classmates, the media, and even strangers.
Among them, your voice must be the loudest and clearest.”_From the text
Sex education is closely linked to the prevention of sexual violence.
Parents desperately want their children to be able to recognize and act in dangerous situations.
According to the 2022 statistical report released by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, 60% of cyber sexual violence was child sexual exploitation.
This book strongly emphasizes that teaching boundaries is the most effective means of preventing child sexual abuse.
That is why it is never too early to start sex education, and it is recommended to start sex education from the age of 3.
It also emphasizes the need to create an atmosphere within the home where children can freely talk about sex with their parents from a young age.
This way, children can report sexual abuse without delay in uncomfortable or dangerous situations or when they need a guardian.
It lays the foundation and core of sex education
A guide to parenting sex education that guides parental growth
This book is a guidebook for parents to read before providing sex education to their children.
Parents are embarrassed when their children ask questions about things they don't know.
When it comes to sexual issues, it's even easier to hesitate, muddle through, or put things off as long as possible.
The negative perception that sex is unfamiliar and shameful and the entrenched idea that sex is linked to sexual activity make sex education difficult.
It examines the caregiver's values and attitude toward sex, including using genital names correctly, respecting the child's boundaries, being consistent, gaining the child's trust as a caregiver, treating sex as a normal topic, and building a network of trustworthy caregivers.
Change and growth happen first in the parents themselves.
Starting from the fundamental premise that children learn about the world through their parents, this book aims to help parents themselves become healthy models of sexuality.
For parents who are worried and confused about how to approach sex education, this book will clearly guide them through the solid fundamentals and core of sex education, turning their confusion into confidence.
The back of the book contains a selection of good books for children to read together, categorized by age group, and the content of this book is suitable for children of all ages.
It was written for all adult caregivers and educators who live with children, including parents.
“Your body is yours.
And we are all precious.”
A Parent's Guide to Sex Education for Your Child, Starting with Respect for Boundaries
As soon as a child leaves the newborn stage, the parents begin to worry.
I feel like I need to do some sex education, but I don't know where, when, or how to start.
It's embarrassing every time I take off my diaper and he starts playing with his genitals and I have to be careful with him.
This book is a sex education guide for anxious and confused parents.
Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, who has been teaching sex education to parents, teenagers, and educators around the world for 30 years, says that the most important things to teach children when educating them about sex are definitely ‘boundaries’ and ‘consent.’
A boundary is a kind of fence that we erect to respect each other.
When young children are introduced to sex, the priority should not be sexual knowledge, but rather creating boundaries for themselves and respecting each other's boundaries.
This is a very important starting point for children to accept sex in a healthy and safe way.
Children learn boundaries and develop a strong sense of ownership over their bodies, naturally developing a sense of self, body positivity, and self-efficacy.
I also learn that boundaries are not just mine, they are for everyone in the world, so I need to respect the boundaries of others just as I want my boundaries to be respected.
This is the foundation for healthy human relationships that children will develop in the future, and it is a basic ethical code that they must acquire while living in the world.
Dr. Schroeder's "Boundary Respecting Sex Education," based on the dignity that all children deserve, is receiving a great response from parents around the world as a new paradigm of sex education suitable for a changing era.
A unique start to sex education that respects boundaries.
It will provide a clear and focused starting point for parents who are at a loss as to what to teach their children.
How can I provide sex education? Please teach it in a way that's appropriate for young children.
12 Specific, Practical Strategies for Learning Boundaries and Consent
Each child has his or her own way of doing things.
The book advises against simply telling a child, “Respect my boundaries.”
It provides very specific guidance on how to explain complex and abstract concepts such as 'boundaries', 'consent', 'respect', and 'privacy', as well as sensitive and difficult topics such as 'uncomfortable touch' and 'secrets' that must be disclosed to parents, at a level that is suitable for children.
Instead of explaining the concept, the method of having the child internalize the meaning by giving everyday examples that they have experienced or seen directly, and the dialogue script organized into speech bubbles such as role-playing and open-ended questions are practical enough to be applied as is.
For example, when discussing the topic of sexual violence, avoid using terms like “good touch” and “bad touch.”
Because reality may not always be definitely good or definitely bad.
For a young child, ambiguous situations where neither the right nor the wrong are certain are bound to be confusing.
He also warns that when the word "bad" is associated with a specific body part, it can be interpreted to mean that the part itself is bad, and the resulting shame can have negative effects beyond adolescence and into adulthood.
Dr. Schroeder offers an alternative, very concise and clear set of guidelines that children must communicate to their parents, thus avoiding confusion in children and also relieving the confusion of parents who must guide them.
I gradually became clearer about how to educate my child about sex, which I had been putting off because it was vague, and I became more confident in leading my child as a parent.
■ What children can learn from this book
- The human body is a wonderful thing, but there are times and places where it's okay to touch the genitals, and times and places where it's not okay to do so.
- I have the right to decide who touches my body and how.
- I also have a responsibility to respect other people's boundaries.
- I should treat others the way I want to be treated.
- If anyone, under any circumstances, makes me uncomfortable in any way, they can tell the parent at any time.
Even if that person is someone I know or a family member.
A child who values himself and respects others equally.
If you want to raise a confident child without prejudice about sex, a child with discernment and uprightness,
I recommend reading this book before any other sex education book.
“Many parents say,
"Can't we just let our children be a little more naive?" Whether or not your child is ready, as a parent, you need to be the first to bring up the topic.
As children grow, they acquire information through all kinds of channels.
Through other family members, friends, classmates, the media, and even strangers.
Among them, your voice must be the loudest and clearest.”_From the text
Sex education is closely linked to the prevention of sexual violence.
Parents desperately want their children to be able to recognize and act in dangerous situations.
According to the 2022 statistical report released by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, 60% of cyber sexual violence was child sexual exploitation.
This book strongly emphasizes that teaching boundaries is the most effective means of preventing child sexual abuse.
That is why it is never too early to start sex education, and it is recommended to start sex education from the age of 3.
It also emphasizes the need to create an atmosphere within the home where children can freely talk about sex with their parents from a young age.
This way, children can report sexual abuse without delay in uncomfortable or dangerous situations or when they need a guardian.
It lays the foundation and core of sex education
A guide to parenting sex education that guides parental growth
This book is a guidebook for parents to read before providing sex education to their children.
Parents are embarrassed when their children ask questions about things they don't know.
When it comes to sexual issues, it's even easier to hesitate, muddle through, or put things off as long as possible.
The negative perception that sex is unfamiliar and shameful and the entrenched idea that sex is linked to sexual activity make sex education difficult.
It examines the caregiver's values and attitude toward sex, including using genital names correctly, respecting the child's boundaries, being consistent, gaining the child's trust as a caregiver, treating sex as a normal topic, and building a network of trustworthy caregivers.
Change and growth happen first in the parents themselves.
Starting from the fundamental premise that children learn about the world through their parents, this book aims to help parents themselves become healthy models of sexuality.
For parents who are worried and confused about how to approach sex education, this book will clearly guide them through the solid fundamentals and core of sex education, turning their confusion into confidence.
The back of the book contains a selection of good books for children to read together, categorized by age group, and the content of this book is suitable for children of all ages.
It was written for all adult caregivers and educators who live with children, including parents.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: March 10, 2023
- Page count, weight, size: 188 pages | 246g | 130*200*12mm
- ISBN13: 9791190382977
- ISBN10: 1190382970
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