If you always check the other person's feelings...
If it seems like I'm the only one trying...
If you try too hard to be recognized and praised…

“Is this relationship really okay right now?”
The One Must-Read Book for Anyone Having a Difficult Relationship

"I'll Let Go of Your Hand", a relationship guidebook perfect for looking back on the relationships around you and taking the first step toward forming new ones, has been published by Big Forest.
Modern people, living in a densely entangled web of relationships, are bound to find themselves in contradictory situations because of those relationships.
Sometimes we suffer from unresolved relationships, and sometimes we experience joy and happiness by sharing our hearts with someone who fits us well.
While we want to live as completely independent individuals, we also want to live relying on and depending on others.
Do we want to be alone or do we want to connect with someone?


"Letting Go of Your Hand" explores the complexities of modern relationships and brings together the author's insights from personal experience and his own definitions based on the theories of various psychologists to help us break free from dysfunctional relationships and pursue true connection.
What we need to carefully examine in this book is the dark side of relationships we have formed without thinking, and the positive impact that true relationships, not difficult ones, can have on our lives.
Ichiro Kishimi, who delivered an important message to many Korean readers to live free and happy lives through "The Courage to be Hated," once again sharply challenges Korean society to the topic of building free and happy relationships.


If you are in a relationship of dependence and dominance, you need to be prepared to break it off.
Some people willingly follow others, but others are drawn into relationships without even realizing it.
Realizing this fact, you must be prepared to cut ties with people you don't need to associate with, and not get involved with them more than necessary.
―From the text

No relationship is established automatically.
Having a child doesn't necessarily mean that family relationships will improve.
Just because you start dating someone you like doesn't mean your relationship will immediately get better.
Loving alone is not enough.
You have to act for good relationships, think about what kind of relationships you want to have, and know how to build them.

--- From "Building Beneficial Relationships"

Many parents are reluctant to ask their children to do things on their own.
Because they don't want their children to experience failure, and they think it's faster for parents to do it themselves.
But the truth is, the child is afraid of leaving his or her hands.
Parents like this continue to raise their children as spoiled brats.
If a child does not refuse his parents' help, he will continue to live as a spoiled brat.
So why can't we stop relying on our parents? It's because it's easier to rely on others than to do it alone.
Also, because they believe that if they follow their parents without thinking for themselves, they will not have to take responsibility when problems arise.
If you decide on your own, that decision
With love comes responsibility.
If things go wrong, there's no one to blame.
People who want to avoid this situation leave their lives to their parents instead of making their own decisions, and end up living their parents' lives instead of their own.

--- From "Everyone lives dependent on others"

This kind of relationship needs to be broken at least once.
It doesn't mean that it will make the relationship bad.
I'm not saying it's okay for children to rebel and turn their backs on their parents.
This means that in order for people to truly connect, it is necessary to examine existing relationships.
A good relationship cannot be established simply because they are parents and children.
Even if it seems like a good relationship, you must first recognize the nature of the relationship.
That is what Jesus meant by 'throwing the sword' and 'splitting' the relationship between parents and children.
In other words, it means re-examining the relationship.
Breaking up a relationship is not the ultimate goal.
We need to look at the way relationships exist and build good relationships from there.

--- From "Throw a Knife into Relationships"

Erich Fromm's credo is that one must doubt everything.
Fromm told himself that after World War I, he had to question everything.
Nothing is certain and everything must be questioned.
Doubt is the starting point of philosophy.
What if, while many people do what they think is right, no one questions it and asks, "Is that really true?"
Fromm says that our ability to doubt, criticize, and disobey may determine the future of humanity and the end of civilization.
If we do not criticize and question at this point in history, there is no future for humanity.
No, civilization is over.
You must always stay awake.
Many people seem to be awake, but are actually asleep.
He doesn't understand the situation he's in.

--- From "Doubt Everything"

The form of happiness is different for each person.
If so, there is no need for your life to be the same as someone else's, nor is there any point in comparing it.
I told the young man that it was his life and he could live it as he pleased.
If we live the same life as others, we can roughly imagine what kind of life we ​​will live, but it is difficult to imagine what kind of life we ​​will live because we cannot see the future of a life where each person has their own unique happiness.
But what's the point of living a life that isn't 'unique' just because you can't imagine it?
Let's say you don't like your personality or appearance and you try to change yourself to be bright and beautiful like other people.
Even if it actually changes like that, it is not your life
no.
Therefore, in order to live your own life, it is better to live your own unique life without being afraid of living differently from others.

--- From "Each One's Own Happiness"

Can people truly understand each other? It's a mistake to think we can never understand each other, nor to think we can.
If you think you understand the other person, you may feel close to them, but that feeling of closeness itself may be an illusion.
Even if you think you can understand, you can't.
Even if we are close, not everyone feels and thinks the same way.
There is a world of difference between knowing it and not knowing it.
Author Kim Yeon-su said.
“I am skeptical about the possibility of understanding others.” He also said that a “humble sentence” is a good sentence, saying, “You cannot write about others. It is impossible to understand others. A sentence written under this awareness is a humble sentence.”
In other words, Kim Yeon-su says that if you know that you cannot write about others and that it is impossible to understand others, you can write 'humble sentences'.

--- From "Knowing That You Can't Understand Others"

The reason love seeks freedom is because when we feel unbound, we feel loved.
If you are being watched for who you are, where you are, and what you are doing, you will feel untrusted and unloved.
Mori said that if the community of two people is open to the outside world, attention will be drawn to others and the crisis of love will deepen, but this is not true.
Rather, the bond between the two becomes stronger through freedom.
Those who believe that bonding with others can only be achieved by restraining and dominating them may disagree.
--- From "True Love Seeks Freedom"

If you are in a relationship of dependence and dominance, you need to be prepared to break it off.
Some people willingly follow others, but others are drawn into relationships without even realizing it.
Realizing this fact, you must be prepared to cut ties with people you don't need to associate with, and not get involved with them more than necessary.
On the other hand, it is good to connect with people who need to be connected.
I hope to meet the person I really want to meet.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, it was difficult not being able to see family members in hospitals or facilities.
At the same time, we realized who we really wanted to meet and who we didn't necessarily need to meet.

--- From "If you don't like it, break up, if you want to meet, meet up"