Healing wounded souls around the world for 40 years
Adversity Lessons from Master Phil Stutz on Mastering the Mind

“Let’s put the past behind us,
“Let’s change your life starting now.”

Suffering may be inevitable in life.
But the problem is that it brings about pain that we can avoid.
Phil Stutz has spent 40 years working with countless clients, from inmates to the top 0.01 percent. He has learned that while life has its challenges, our attitudes can either stagnate our lives or expand and propel us forward.
And the key was in today's actions.
Rather than trying to stop the thoughts that were causing me pain, wisdom and inner strength naturally followed when I moved in the direction I wanted to go.
He began to practice the most practical and effective method to bring about similar changes in the lives of clients who lacked the mental strength to engage in self-reflection.
This book contains 30 crucial insights from the treatment that has transformed thousands of lives.

I felt that the psychiatry I was practicing was not really helping my clients.
I was determined to find a better way, but I was lost and wandering around with no one to ask for advice.
As I searched around relentlessly for ideas and answers, I stumbled upon a key in a place I hadn't even thought to look.
The key was held by the clients who came to see me.
If I first set aside the psychiatric treatment rules and respected my clients as human beings—that is, if I saw them not as a collection of genetic and mental abnormalities but simply as individuals—then they were willing to follow my intuition wherever it led them.
Thankfully, they fully trusted me to continue my trial and error journey to forge a new path.
With the encouragement of my clients, I finally developed a completely different approach to psychotherapy than I had before.
--- From "The Key You Were Holding"

Is there a way to live differently? Can we somehow live through the conflicts, uncertainties, and disappointments of life, yet still consider ourselves pretty good people? It's possible.
But to do that, you have to completely change the direction of your life.
The first step is to realize that life is a process.
The culture we live in constantly blinds us to this fact.
By making the destructive claim that once you've somehow perfected your life, you can be fixed in that state.
The ideal world where superior people live is nothing more than a fleeting moment, like a snapshot or a postcard, frozen in time.
But real life is a process, it has depth and moves constantly.
--- From "If I had prepared my life with philosophy"

There are more implications to evaluating the world itself.
The implication is that something bad is better off not existing in the first place.
When we think we know what should and should not be in the world, we are acting like gods.
It is said that our evaluations should determine the nature of reality, and that nothing is higher than our thoughts.
The moment we think we are that important, we lose sight of something bigger than ourselves.
--- From "That's What Has to Happen to You"

Nothing in the world can be born in a completely certain state.
Anyone who wants to create must first boldly take a step into the unknown.
Harold could act before he 'knew' he was doing the right thing.
Any dynamic person has this ability.
They believe in action itself.
You can have that kind of faith because you feel that the information you need comes from your actions, not from the thoughts in your head.
Will is more than just the energy that moves us to action; it is also a perception.


As you put the philosophy of action into practice, your perspective on your goals will also begin to change.
Since the information we need is obtained through the process of carrying out the action, goals only serve to stimulate that process.
So there is no such thing as a right goal or a rational goal.
When setting goals, anything that can be used immediately is sufficient.
All goals are temporary.
When we commit to our goals through action, our life force becomes stronger and gives us the intelligence to set our next goal.
--- From "All I need is to know when I act"

The child inside us who craves recognition is not our true self.
It is precisely when the part of us that longs for recognition doesn't receive the recognition we desire, that we discover another part of us, hidden deeper within, that doesn't live as an image projected onto someone else's mind.
--- From "I'm a good person, so why did this happen?"

We hope that our decisions are 'right' and that the world will stop changing and become fixed so that we never have to face uncertainty again.
Because we harbor such a desire in our hearts, we feel the pressure to make even the smallest decisions, as if they were a matter of life and death.
We feel that if we make good decisions, we will be saved, and if we make bad decisions, our lives will be ruined.
But the truth is, life goes on, whether the decisions we make are good or bad.

We try to protect ourselves from the feeling that we have lost something because of the choices we made by discounting the paths we did not choose.
But the truth is, every decision involves loss.
Decisions are inherently limited.
If you live in Florida, you lose the ability to live in Colorado.
If you become a teacher, there is no chance of becoming a technician.
If you see one movie, you can't see any other movies showing that night.
We often forget this fact, which seems so obvious.
In a sense, every decision we make constrains the world we live in.
There is no way to avoid this.
Fortunately, it is precisely this sense of acknowledging these external limitations that makes us spiritually stronger.
--- From "You Can Never Make the Right Decision"

People who insist that the world treats them fairly end up believing they are victims.
But the victim's anger is not constructive anger.
Such anger feeds on an unconscious desire for the status quo to remain the same so that we can continue to be justifiably angry.
When anger and a sense of victimization become so familiar that we become attached to those emotions, they become a kind of identity.
In this sense, a person who is consumed by anger finds it difficult to move on to the next stage of life.
Anger is like an anchor, holding my ankles tightly.
--- From "I know you might be angry at this"

Narcissism isn't just giving up and telling yourself it's okay.
It's simply a denial.
People who never put in the effort in the first place get no meaning from accepting failure.
People who are too lazy to dedicate themselves to their own lives do not have the energy needed to truly love themselves.
Narcissism is not the same as self-absorption.
A narcissist who is intoxicated with himself can never accept or love his own shadow.
We don't have the courage to admit our weaknesses, nor the discipline to learn to accept them.
Narcissism is a kind of spiritual laziness.
All love requires effort.
Loving yourself takes even more effort.
--- From "Practice of Loving Shadows"

Why couldn't he be happy even when he had what he so desperately wanted? The truth is, true satisfaction has nothing to do with what you have or don't have.
Our happiness depends solely on what kind of world we choose to live in.
--- From "If Your Life Were Mine"

If you think about it, the power of life is nothing more than a series of habits.
If you have a habit of looking outside yourself whenever you need stimulation or validation, you will become depressed whenever you don't get what you want.
But if you live with an inner responsibility to take responsibility for your own feelings, and if you take action to connect with a higher power whenever you feel a hole in your life, you will develop the habit of gaining a new level of energy and vitality.

--- From "Two Consequences of False Hope"

The secret to coping with pain is remembering that it comes in waves.
At the peak of your suffering, it may feel like the world is ending at any moment.
But remember, this moment won't last long.
Then you can learn to broaden your perspective even in the most daunting moments.

--- From "The Difference Between Dependence and Intimacy"