introduction

Part 1: The Law of Making Connections

1 Social healing
2 How We Connect
The Myth of Personality
4 Overcoming Self-Centered Thinking
5 Conversation Skills
6 Expressing Gratitude

Part 2: The Law of Maintaining Connections

7 Truth, Lies, and Secrets
8 Don't be jealous, be happy together
9 Asking for help
10 Healing Bad Emotions
11 Constructive Disagreement
12 Asking for forgiveness

Conclusion | The Thirteenth Law of Connection

Further reference materials
Glossary of terms
Acknowledgements
Sources
main
Translator's Note
Biographical Index

Better relationships, healthier lives,
The Power of Connection to Create a Better Society

In the early 1960s, American scientists embarked on an ambitious project to identify key factors affecting health and longevity.
The results of this study, known as the “Alameda 7” (seven factors including not smoking, drinking in moderation, and getting 7-8 hours of sleep), are now widely known and have become the basis for public health guidelines.
But there are some facts that people don't know.
The same research team continued their research and discovered the eighth factor in 1979.
The main character was “social connection.”
The study found that, on average, people with a wide network of connections had a mortality rate half that of those without.
Forming meaningful connections with others can help wounds heal faster, protect you from infections, and reduce your risk of Alzheimer's disease, heart attack, and stroke.
Plus, it improves your concentration, memory, creativity, and problem-solving skills, which can help you financially.
Such strong and deep human relationships are the most reliable safety net that guarantees happiness and health.

People who lack confidence and people who have excellent social skills
Relationships become easier if you just change your thinking a little!

However, building and maintaining good relationships is not as easy as it sounds.
Because so many of our stereotypes and misconceptions prevent us from forming deep bonds with others.
The common belief that people are born with a sociable personality that likes to socialize with others, or a shy and reserved personality that is difficult to change, also hinders interpersonal relationships.
Research shows that regardless of personality, correcting these misconceptions can lead to a more meaningful social life.
Even 'extroverts' can unknowingly push others away because of faulty intuition.

This book draws on psychological and scientific insights to uncover why good interpersonal relationships are essential to our lives, and presents 13 practical strategies for building the strong relationships essential to health and success.
This book contains easy techniques for building healthy relationships, including how to spend meaningful time with strangers and how to create and maintain a comfortable relationship.
Anyone can experience the amazing joy of changing their life by applying secrets that can be applied immediately to their daily lives.

From the beginning to the end of human relationships
Easy and simple strategies for everyone

After reviewing over 300 psychological and scientific academic papers, the author has come up with 13 rules that can help you build more satisfying social networks.
Each chapter focuses on one law and summarizes the key points with “key summaries” and “action strategies” so that anyone can easily apply them in their daily lives.
The six chapters in Part 1 introduce various ways to form new relationships, drawing on the neuroscience and physiology of social bonding.
First, we examine the relationship between social connections and health, distinguishing the nature of different social networks and showing how to distinguish between “ambivalent relationships” that are detrimental to human relationships and mental health (Chapter 1).
It also covers the theme that runs through this book: shared reality, explaining how we create it and why it brings such remarkable benefits to our health and well-being (Chapter 2).
Then, we introduce several traps that hinder the building of trust, such as “the price of novelty” and “the illusion of understanding” (Chapter 3), and among these traps, we analyze egocentric thinking, the bias we are most prone to falling into (Chapter 4).
It also includes specific know-how, such as strategies for smoothly continuing a conversation (Chapter 5) and how to effectively convey gratitude and praise, which serve as the lubricant of human relationships (Chapter 6).

The six chapters in Part 2 cover how to maintain and strengthen relationships so that they last a lifetime.
That is, the inevitable difficulties that arise in any relationship, and how to heal the resulting rifts in the relationship.
Can lying or keeping secrets ever be justified? (Chapter 7) How can I share joy without making others jealous when something good happens to me or others? (Chapter 8) How can I politely ask for help? (Chapter 9) How can I convey my sincerity to someone in a difficult situation? (Chapter 10) How can I discuss differing views deeply without damaging a relationship? (Chapter 11) What is the most effective way to apologize? (Chapter 12) Our intuitive answers to these questions are almost always way off.
Part 2 provides guidelines for handling these problematic situations elegantly and easily.
Finally, in the conclusion, we examine the future of friendship through digital technologies.
It shatters the cliches about the dangers of social media and teaches you how to apply the laws of true social connection, both online and offline.
This is the law of the final connection.