A person who suffers from an obsession with speaking well
A person who feels frustrated because he or she cannot communicate with others
People who are hurt by difficult relationships

An era where dialogue is said to be the solution to all problems.
A cool solution that will change your perspective on communication!

A society that says that the ability to speak well is the answer.
An era where people say that all problems can be solved through dialogue.
We are constantly asked to speak.
People who find it difficult to speak and prefer silence are labeled as 'avoidant' and are made to blame themselves.
But communication in reality is not that simple.
Even if you're good at speaking, misunderstandings can arise, conversations don't lead to agreements, and there are many relationships where there's no need to speak in the first place.
Many problems in human relationships arise not from a 'lack of communication' but from a 'miscommunication'.

This book talks about practical ways to break free from the obsession with communication and maintain relationships without speaking.
It delivers a simple and powerful message to those who find it difficult to speak, those who find talking too much tiring, and those who find conversation painful: “It’s okay not to say anything.”
Silence is not an escape, but the strongest choice I can make to avoid collapsing in a world where words fight.


The author, who has personally encountered the concerns of countless people through years of psychological counseling, broadcasts, and writing, offers communication strategies that can be used immediately, rather than moral advice.
Chapter 1 examines eight keywords for understanding communication, Chapter 2 introduces communication methods for quiet people, and Chapter 3 introduces communication methods for people who find conversations frustrating.
Chapter 4 covers how to protect yourself from harmful relationships, and Chapter 5 provides the communication attitudes and practices necessary to maintain relationships.

I wanted to write a book that was realistic, practical, and above all, combative, unlike other books on communication.
Communication in real life is not a harmonious chorus.
Communication is closer to combat, except without guns.
This book aims to 'survive' that battle.
--- p.6

Communication is a means, not an end.
So if there is a better way than communication, then you can choose that.
Communication is a process, not an outcome.
Therefore, communication is meaningful whether or not an agreement is reached.

--- p.13

Communication is a choice.
Sometimes exercising your right to refuse is an important part of communication.
If constant conversation only exacerbates conflict, then stopping the conversation is the necessary solution.
Rather than blindly trying to persuade the other person, it takes courage to choose silence and distance.
True communication begins when we respect each other's will and boundaries.
We must remember that sometimes silence can be the first step to communication.
--- p.57

I need silence to protect myself from words that upset and hurt me.
The only way to stop the so-called good talkers from talking is silence.
That's why they hate silence.
They use language as a weapon, claiming that as long as there is no violence, no swearing, and no raising of voices, it is a fair conversation.
But they pour out harmful words like poison gas or germs, making the other person helpless.
The only way to stop them is through impenetrable silence, pitch-black silence.

--- p.69

In fact, if you look closely, they are not good at talking.
They were just noisy people who couldn't keep quiet.
He is not a person who is better at talking than me, but he is just a person who cannot keep silent and is worse than me.
In fact, the best talker in the world is the one who says what needs to be said and doesn't say what shouldn't be said.
--- p.73

There are people who are born unable to hate or dislike anyone.
Even if you tell a person like this, 'Don't care whether the other person hates you or not,' you can't do that.
Even if you say, 'You don't have to hate the other person,' it doesn't always work out that way.
In such cases, we need to practice not being swayed by other people's emotions and make an effort to treat our own emotions as preciously as others'.
--- p.121

The true purpose of conversation is to communicate and broaden understanding with the other person.
Pushing words into someone who has reached their limit is no longer a conversation.
It is a one-sided communication and an act that harms the relationship.
--- p.162

Sometimes a moment of patience and silence is more helpful than a hundred wise words.
There are many people who are good at talking, but few who know how to keep silent when necessary.
Silence is the most important means of communication.
Only when there is silence can words show their true value.
--- p.183

There is a difference between people who are naturally rude and those who are not.
Even if someone who finds rudeness difficult uses all their strength to be rude, the other person will retaliate with even more rudeness.
When the other person yells loudly and I can't yell back, I feel humiliated.
If I can't fight back when the other person swears at me, it hurts even more.
Sometimes you have to endure small wounds to avoid bigger ones.
--- p.191

There are times when people who never normally apologize do apologize.
But they don't apologize to be forgiven.
It is unavoidable because the damage caused by not apologizing is too great.
That is, they apologize only when it benefits them.
Apologize only when it can reduce the punishment.
But even if the punishment is reduced, I still feel in my heart that the punishment is too harsh.
So let's not apologize, let's not forgive.
--- p.257

There is nothing insignificant in the world.
If a fight broke out over that, it obviously had major implications.
As long as we treat the great things as nothing, the fight will never end.
Even if it seems like a big deal, if you calmly control your emotions and resolve it, it becomes nothing special.
Conversely, if you feel emotionally sad, resentful, or angry over even the smallest thing, it becomes a huge problem.

--- p.269