There is no relationship worth protecting while losing myself.
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Description
Book Introduction
“Don’t let anyone treat you badly.”
“If you want to be free from wounds
“First, you must be free from your emotions!”
When you are hurt by a relationship, it feels like a huge rock is weighing on your chest, it is painful as if your heart has been cut by a knife, and sometimes it is so painful that it is difficult to breathe.
What is the true nature of this feeling of frustration, pain, and hardship? It's "emotion."
The emotions that arise from wounds cause us pain and suffering.
Therefore, to understand the wound, you must first understand the emotion, and to be free from the wound, you must be free from the emotion.
The author of this book, a professor of counseling psychology at Seoul Digital University and a clinical psychologist certified by the Korean Psychological Association, has included methods for freeing oneself from emotions and avoiding hurt feelings in interpersonal relationships.
Through this book, readers will discover useful methods for healing past wounds and improving and restoring various interpersonal relationships.
“If you want to be free from wounds
“First, you must be free from your emotions!”
When you are hurt by a relationship, it feels like a huge rock is weighing on your chest, it is painful as if your heart has been cut by a knife, and sometimes it is so painful that it is difficult to breathe.
What is the true nature of this feeling of frustration, pain, and hardship? It's "emotion."
The emotions that arise from wounds cause us pain and suffering.
Therefore, to understand the wound, you must first understand the emotion, and to be free from the wound, you must be free from the emotion.
The author of this book, a professor of counseling psychology at Seoul Digital University and a clinical psychologist certified by the Korean Psychological Association, has included methods for freeing oneself from emotions and avoiding hurt feelings in interpersonal relationships.
Through this book, readers will discover useful methods for healing past wounds and improving and restoring various interpersonal relationships.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Prologue To you who is afraid to approach and lonely when alone
Chapter 1.
How are wounds created?
The Real Reason You're Hurt
Emotional changes that occur when you are hurt
Pain is an emotion
Thoughts create pain
Chapter 2.
Emotions are a sign of hurt
Pain leaves a mark
Emotions are shit
Relationships are the root of happiness and unhappiness.
The most painful emotion, loneliness
Jealousy, an emotion that threatens relationships
Chapter 3.
We always fight over the same issues
Three Reasons Why Conversations Devolve into Conflict
Solution and resolution are different.
Sometimes you have to swallow your emotions
A conversation technique that stops any conflict
Chapter 4.
Everyone has a ghost parent.
The closest ones hurt the most
The ghost of parents that cannot be avoided even if you hide
The wounds of a couple are passed on to the child.
A word to break a deadlocked relationship
Chapter 5.
Happiness and unhappiness repeat themselves
Why Parents' Misfortunes Repeat
A cowardly game of attachment
Criticism breaks even the strongest dam.
Conversations also need safeguards.
Chapter 6.
There is no love that is free
The Two Faces of Romantic Love
Even unrequited love has its conflicts.
The most attractive qualities of a lover
Five Steps to Overcoming the Pain of Heartbreak
Chapter 7.
It's different, not wrong
"Latte, that's what it is" vs. "Okay, boomer"
The root of conflict within an organization is anger.
Understanding and agreement are different things.
How to work without making enemies
Chapter 8.
How to Be Free from Hurt
Separate me from my wounds
When you face pain, the world becomes bigger.
Two Ways to Manage Difficult Emotions
Change your relationship with me first
Chapter 1.
How are wounds created?
The Real Reason You're Hurt
Emotional changes that occur when you are hurt
Pain is an emotion
Thoughts create pain
Chapter 2.
Emotions are a sign of hurt
Pain leaves a mark
Emotions are shit
Relationships are the root of happiness and unhappiness.
The most painful emotion, loneliness
Jealousy, an emotion that threatens relationships
Chapter 3.
We always fight over the same issues
Three Reasons Why Conversations Devolve into Conflict
Solution and resolution are different.
Sometimes you have to swallow your emotions
A conversation technique that stops any conflict
Chapter 4.
Everyone has a ghost parent.
The closest ones hurt the most
The ghost of parents that cannot be avoided even if you hide
The wounds of a couple are passed on to the child.
A word to break a deadlocked relationship
Chapter 5.
Happiness and unhappiness repeat themselves
Why Parents' Misfortunes Repeat
A cowardly game of attachment
Criticism breaks even the strongest dam.
Conversations also need safeguards.
Chapter 6.
There is no love that is free
The Two Faces of Romantic Love
Even unrequited love has its conflicts.
The most attractive qualities of a lover
Five Steps to Overcoming the Pain of Heartbreak
Chapter 7.
It's different, not wrong
"Latte, that's what it is" vs. "Okay, boomer"
The root of conflict within an organization is anger.
Understanding and agreement are different things.
How to work without making enemies
Chapter 8.
How to Be Free from Hurt
Separate me from my wounds
When you face pain, the world becomes bigger.
Two Ways to Manage Difficult Emotions
Change your relationship with me first
Into the book
Wounds are a phenomenon in which the mental world is shaken when the beliefs one has about oneself, others, and the world are shaken, broken, or damaged in a negative way.
--- p.20
Being sick, being in pain, being in pain are emotions.
The emotions that arise from wounds cause us pain and suffering.
So, to understand the hurt, you have to understand the emotions.
To deal with the hurt, you have to deal with your emotions.
If you want to heal your wounds, you have to digest your emotional experiences.
If you want to be free from hurt, you must be free from emotions.
--- p.36
If you don't think, you don't feel emotions.
If you don't judge, it doesn't offend.
After all, wounds are created by thoughts.
The hurt can vary depending on what I thought about that person's words or actions.
--- p.44
There are many people who suppress and hold back the pain they have suffered, thinking that they have no other choice but to endure it.
But you will know once you live it.
There are moments when the emotions that I thought would disappear if I held them back come back vividly.
If you don't safely let out the emotions that have built up inside you, the impulses will continue.
--- p.45
Emotions never demand resolution.
The emotions that have already arisen only want to be felt, expressed, and then disappear.
Emotions arise in response to stimuli, and disappear once they are felt and fully expressed.
It also occurs in response to stimuli, and comes and goes, disappearing as it is felt and expressed.
--- p.49
To release emotions, you must first secure safety.
Resolve it on a safe target, in a safe situation, or using a safe method.
This way, you can avoid hurting others during the resolution process, avoid being misunderstood by others, and fully resolve your emotions.
--- p.77
When you're hurt, angry, and emotionally charged, trying to talk things out is futile.
Because I can't hear it.
Because my thoughts don't change.
I'm just excited because my attention is completely taken up by unpleasant emotions.
In such cases, first give them a chance to release their emotions.
This way, your emotions can be released and your thoughts can move more actively.
--- p.116
No matter how hard you try not to get hurt, there are times when you inevitably get hurt.
So, what can we do about the wounds we've already received? We need to process the experience of the wound.
Since wounds inevitably cause unpleasant emotions, digesting wounds means digesting the unpleasant emotional experience that the wounds cause.
--- p.256
In fact, the key to healing wounds is not outside, but within myself.
It's all in the way I treat myself.
How much do you accept yourself? It's often the case that we don't accept ourselves, so we focus on the approval of others.
In other words, the core of the wound lies in my relationship with myself.
So, ultimately, we can overcome our wounds and recover by changing our attitude toward ourselves, that is, our relationship with ourselves, rather than changing the perspectives and attitudes of others.
--- p.20
Being sick, being in pain, being in pain are emotions.
The emotions that arise from wounds cause us pain and suffering.
So, to understand the hurt, you have to understand the emotions.
To deal with the hurt, you have to deal with your emotions.
If you want to heal your wounds, you have to digest your emotional experiences.
If you want to be free from hurt, you must be free from emotions.
--- p.36
If you don't think, you don't feel emotions.
If you don't judge, it doesn't offend.
After all, wounds are created by thoughts.
The hurt can vary depending on what I thought about that person's words or actions.
--- p.44
There are many people who suppress and hold back the pain they have suffered, thinking that they have no other choice but to endure it.
But you will know once you live it.
There are moments when the emotions that I thought would disappear if I held them back come back vividly.
If you don't safely let out the emotions that have built up inside you, the impulses will continue.
--- p.45
Emotions never demand resolution.
The emotions that have already arisen only want to be felt, expressed, and then disappear.
Emotions arise in response to stimuli, and disappear once they are felt and fully expressed.
It also occurs in response to stimuli, and comes and goes, disappearing as it is felt and expressed.
--- p.49
To release emotions, you must first secure safety.
Resolve it on a safe target, in a safe situation, or using a safe method.
This way, you can avoid hurting others during the resolution process, avoid being misunderstood by others, and fully resolve your emotions.
--- p.77
When you're hurt, angry, and emotionally charged, trying to talk things out is futile.
Because I can't hear it.
Because my thoughts don't change.
I'm just excited because my attention is completely taken up by unpleasant emotions.
In such cases, first give them a chance to release their emotions.
This way, your emotions can be released and your thoughts can move more actively.
--- p.116
No matter how hard you try not to get hurt, there are times when you inevitably get hurt.
So, what can we do about the wounds we've already received? We need to process the experience of the wound.
Since wounds inevitably cause unpleasant emotions, digesting wounds means digesting the unpleasant emotional experience that the wounds cause.
--- p.256
In fact, the key to healing wounds is not outside, but within myself.
It's all in the way I treat myself.
How much do you accept yourself? It's often the case that we don't accept ourselves, so we focus on the approval of others.
In other words, the core of the wound lies in my relationship with myself.
So, ultimately, we can overcome our wounds and recover by changing our attitude toward ourselves, that is, our relationship with ourselves, rather than changing the perspectives and attitudes of others.
--- p.267
Publisher's Review
How to be happy on your own without being swayed by human relationships!
Relationships with other people can bring us pleasant emotions like joy and happiness, but they can also inevitably lead to unpleasant emotions like anger, sadness, shame, and anxiety.
Because of this duality of relationships, people want to be in relationships on the one hand, but on the other hand, they want to run away from them.
I want to be happy through my relationships with people, but I'm also afraid of getting hurt.
There is a way out of this dilemma.
Rather than trying to block out the hurt that arises from a relationship, it is better to accept the hurt as it is and move on from it as quickly as possible.
How can we achieve this? This book has the methods and answers.
Throughout the book, the author provides a variety of examples to help us understand how we can accept, heal, and recover from the wounds caused by relationships.
Emotions are not meant to be resolved, they are meant to be resolved.
What happens when you're hurt in a relationship and don't feel or express those feelings? Feelings don't go away just by pretending not to notice, suppressing them, or suppressing them.
Hurt feelings build up in every corner of our hearts and send out signals very persistently, demanding to be resolved.
This may manifest as headaches, indigestion, lethargy, depression, sudden irritability or anger, tearfulness, and difficulty concentrating.
Here we must clearly understand that emotions are not objects of resolution but objects of dissolution.
People often try to convey their emotions to others when they are overcome with emotion, but this only hinders problem-solving and is counterproductive.
Emotions must be resolved first.
Releasing emotions means feeling them as they are, expressing them, and focusing on them.
This does not necessarily require an opponent.
Even if you are alone, you can say 'I'm angry, I'm angry, I'm angry' whenever you feel angry.
Just by expressing your emotions out loud like that, those emotions will subside to some extent.
Only when our emotions are resolved like this can we move on to the next step.
If I don't take care of myself, who will?
Hurt in human relationships is inevitable.
Therefore, what is important is not how to avoid getting hurt, but how to deal with the hurt you do receive.
Ultimately, only I can care for, heal, and recover from the wounds caused by relationships.
Whether it's something trivial that can cause great harm or something very big that can be easily overlooked, it's all in my hands.
So, in order to build good relationships with others, it is necessary to first build a good relationship with yourself.
If I don't respect myself, others won't respect me, and if I don't care for myself, others won't care for me.
People ultimately treat me the way I treat myself.
How do you treat yourself? In any situation, you must respect and care for yourself so that others do not mistreat you.
Protecting myself is something only I can do.
Through this book, readers will discover true friends and gain the wisdom to build, sustain, expand, and restore human relationships.
Relationships with other people can bring us pleasant emotions like joy and happiness, but they can also inevitably lead to unpleasant emotions like anger, sadness, shame, and anxiety.
Because of this duality of relationships, people want to be in relationships on the one hand, but on the other hand, they want to run away from them.
I want to be happy through my relationships with people, but I'm also afraid of getting hurt.
There is a way out of this dilemma.
Rather than trying to block out the hurt that arises from a relationship, it is better to accept the hurt as it is and move on from it as quickly as possible.
How can we achieve this? This book has the methods and answers.
Throughout the book, the author provides a variety of examples to help us understand how we can accept, heal, and recover from the wounds caused by relationships.
Emotions are not meant to be resolved, they are meant to be resolved.
What happens when you're hurt in a relationship and don't feel or express those feelings? Feelings don't go away just by pretending not to notice, suppressing them, or suppressing them.
Hurt feelings build up in every corner of our hearts and send out signals very persistently, demanding to be resolved.
This may manifest as headaches, indigestion, lethargy, depression, sudden irritability or anger, tearfulness, and difficulty concentrating.
Here we must clearly understand that emotions are not objects of resolution but objects of dissolution.
People often try to convey their emotions to others when they are overcome with emotion, but this only hinders problem-solving and is counterproductive.
Emotions must be resolved first.
Releasing emotions means feeling them as they are, expressing them, and focusing on them.
This does not necessarily require an opponent.
Even if you are alone, you can say 'I'm angry, I'm angry, I'm angry' whenever you feel angry.
Just by expressing your emotions out loud like that, those emotions will subside to some extent.
Only when our emotions are resolved like this can we move on to the next step.
If I don't take care of myself, who will?
Hurt in human relationships is inevitable.
Therefore, what is important is not how to avoid getting hurt, but how to deal with the hurt you do receive.
Ultimately, only I can care for, heal, and recover from the wounds caused by relationships.
Whether it's something trivial that can cause great harm or something very big that can be easily overlooked, it's all in my hands.
So, in order to build good relationships with others, it is necessary to first build a good relationship with yourself.
If I don't respect myself, others won't respect me, and if I don't care for myself, others won't care for me.
People ultimately treat me the way I treat myself.
How do you treat yourself? In any situation, you must respect and care for yourself so that others do not mistreat you.
Protecting myself is something only I can do.
Through this book, readers will discover true friends and gain the wisdom to build, sustain, expand, and restore human relationships.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Publication date: November 9, 2020
- Page count, weight, size: 276 pages | 378g | 140*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791187165811
- ISBN10: 1187165816
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