Forty: A Life Reset to Bloom Again
I realized this at forty,
56 Misconceptions That Tormented Me
“Am I really right?”
If you don't reset now, the rest of your life will be no different!

In his forties, the author, a veterinarian who cared for life, fell into burnout and a slump, unable to care for his own mind.
Sitting in a corner of the examination room, he was suddenly enveloped in a deep depression and was faced with the question, 'Am I really okay?'
As he began to honestly answer the question he could no longer ignore at a turning point in his life, he began to reset his life.
Letting go of the illusion of perfection, I healed my inner self through small, quiet writing, and broadened my life from a single identity as a veterinarian to a writer and lecturer.
Now he says:

“For life to change, your actions must change, and for actions to change, your thoughts must change first.” This book is a self-examination tool and a practical thinking reset manual that organizes the “thought errors” discovered through the process of such change and the resulting distortions in life.
This journey, born of depression and burnout, led to the insight that “it wasn’t the external reality that made my life difficult, but my way of thinking about that reality.”
Based on this, the author organizes 56 stereotypes that we have unconsciously believed, examines them one by one, and presents a new perspective.

This book is divided into five chapters.

· Reset your inner anxiety - misunderstandings about self-esteem, emotions, and self-worth
· Resetting stereotypes about relationships - misconceptions about boundaries with family, friends, and others
· Resetting the Bar for Success and Growth - Misconceptions About Work, Achievement, and Failure
· Resetting the meaning and attitude of life - Perspectives on fate, uncertainty, and choice
Resetting Daily Life and Learning - Learning, Misconceptions in the AI ​​Era, and Implementation Strategies

To ensure that the insights into 56 stereotypes go beyond mere assertions, the author draws on the latest research findings from psychology, brain science, and behavioral economics, as well as real-world examples, to encourage a practical shift in thinking.
This book is for those who want change rather than comfort, and action rather than empathy.
If you are a reader in your forties or passing through your forties without a strong sense of self-confidence, this book will provide you with a new framework for thinking about life.
The greatest virtue of this book is that it contains the blind spots of life that I was able to grasp because I was once a broken person, and the sincere checklist that I can pass on because I still live with tremors.

*** Have you heard of the term "existential tax"? It's the tax we have no choice but to pay to live as ourselves.
It refers to the discomfort and pain that I have to endure in order to live as myself.
It's like paying taxes, it's unavoidable.
Just as we receive social benefits by paying taxes, paying existential taxes gives us the opportunity to find our true selves and live as ourselves.
If I want to live as myself, if I want to live true to myself, it requires great courage and sometimes involves sacrifice and discomfort.
Existential tax is expensive.
Still, you have to accept it.
Because I have to live my life true to myself to make my existence shine brightest.
Be willing to pay the existential tax and live your life as yourself.

*** Emotions are a part of me.
So rather than suppressing your emotions, try to look into why they appear and understand the message they are conveying.
Above all, if you want to control your emotions, move your body.
Move, Move!

*** The important thing is the difference between 'special' and 'precious'.
Being special always starts from comparing yourself to others.
The focus is on how I differentiate myself from others.
Preciousness is not like that.
I am saying that I am a precious being in and of myself and deserve to be respected.
It does not presuppose comparison.
Because I am precious, and you are precious too.
Even in the midst of ordinariness, you can find your own unique value.


*** If an emergency occurs on a plane, the flight attendants will always give this guidance:
"When the oxygen mask comes down, put on your own mask first, then help the person next to you." Why? Because I must breathe and be healthy before I can help others.
Life is the same.
If I stand upright, my family will stand upright, and if I am healthy, my family will be healthy.
If you don't take care of yourself and only force sacrifices, eventually everyone will fall apart.


*** The essence of opportunity is ‘newness.’
People close to me know me well, so they often give me only familiar advice.
On the other hand, strangers or people with whom I have loose relationships may see my possibilities differently.
Actually, I felt this strongly while working on social media and blogging.
There have been many cases where people I've only contacted once or twice or communicated with through comments have created greater opportunities for me than people I knew closely.

*** Words are not just about conveying information; they are also about emotions and context.
Hiroshi Hitano says this in “Becoming the Father I Dreamed of When I Was Young.”
“If you speak kindly and gently, but end up causing pain, it is no different from cruelty.” This is one of the things we get wrong.
I think it's okay to give advice in a nice tone, but in the end, what matters is how the other person receives it.

*** There is a saying that three factors are important in changing a person.
The three pillars are Time, Space, and People.
People and their lives change depending on how they spend their time, what kind of environment they live in, and who they associate with.
The future of someone who spends every day browsing social media and someone who invests at least an hour a day in reading and self-improvement will be very different.
Space is also important.
When the environment changes, behavior changes, and when behavior changes, the way of thinking also changes.
The most important factor is human relationships.
As the saying goes, “birds of a feather flock together,” and “birds of a feather flock together,” the people you hang out with ultimately determine who you are.


*** “Fail fast, learn faster” is a common saying among Silicon Valley entrepreneurs.
This is not just a slogan.
In fact, many innovative companies embrace failure as a process of growth rather than fearing it.
Elon Musk, who leads innovative companies such as Tesla, SpaceX, and Neuralink, is a representative example.
He kept trying, even though he knew there was a high chance of failure.
Tesla's early models underperformed, and SpaceX's first three rocket launches failed.
But he learned from his failures and never stopped.
On the fourth attempt, the rocket was finally successfully launched, changing the paradigm of the space industry.

*** In a high school in Chicago, USA, failing grades are marked as NY (Not Yet) instead of F (Failed).
It doesn't mean 'failure', but 'not yet reached'.
This concept is very important.
When we view failure as part of a process rather than an event, we can continuously learn.
Thomas Edison is said to have experienced numerous failures before inventing the light bulb, but he considered them to be "discoveries of numerous ways not to succeed."
Failure is not the end, it is a stepping stone to growth.


*** Not asking questions is foolish.
The philosopher Socrates constantly asked questions, saying, “I know that I know nothing.”
His questions were not simply about asking for knowledge, but about expanding thinking and exploring the essence.
Physicist Richard Feynman emphasized the importance of questions, particularly the question "Why?", which he said played a central role in understanding the world.
If there are no questions, there is no inquiry.
Asking questions allows us to gain new perspectives and find better answers.


*** As we enter the AI ​​era, human writing will become an increasingly differentiated skill. AI can become a writing assistant.
But ultimately, only humans can give true meaning to writing and move people's hearts.
As technology advances, there are abilities that become more important.
The ability to organize thoughts, express emotions, and connect with people.

--- From the text