I can't understand if you say it like that
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Description
Book Introduction
*Japan Amazon Comprehensive Bestseller
*Local sales exceed 140,000 copies
*A hot topic by the author who won the Japan New Book Award
“Didn't I explain it clearly enough? What's the problem?”
You who are frustrated because you can't communicate today,
Break free from the easy illusion of 'if you just say it well, they'll understand'!
“Oh, I really can’t understand.
“I’m so frustrated, I’m going crazy.” We say things like this all the time at work, at school, and at home.
Whenever that happens, people often give advice like, “Change the way you speak,” “Just be honest,” or “Explain it over and over again until it gets through.”
Is this advice really appropriate?
Bestselling author and cognitive scientist Mutsumi Imai reveals scientific methods for reading others' minds and effectively communicating your intentions.
Humans have a strong tendency to understand and interpret things based on their own convenience.
In the end, changing the way I speak or speaking honestly is something I thought about from my own perspective, not something that takes the other person's feelings or intentions into consideration.
So what should we do? Cognitive science tells us that each of us has a different "schema."
A schema is a framework of knowledge and thinking that moves in the background when you listen to someone else's story.
Therefore, in order to understand the other person and convey my message properly, it is important to understand this schema.
This book reveals the true art of communication, a skill that grasps the essence of learning through cognitive science, and practical secrets that you can apply when you're frustrated by communication difficulties.
*Local sales exceed 140,000 copies
*A hot topic by the author who won the Japan New Book Award
“Didn't I explain it clearly enough? What's the problem?”
You who are frustrated because you can't communicate today,
Break free from the easy illusion of 'if you just say it well, they'll understand'!
“Oh, I really can’t understand.
“I’m so frustrated, I’m going crazy.” We say things like this all the time at work, at school, and at home.
Whenever that happens, people often give advice like, “Change the way you speak,” “Just be honest,” or “Explain it over and over again until it gets through.”
Is this advice really appropriate?
Bestselling author and cognitive scientist Mutsumi Imai reveals scientific methods for reading others' minds and effectively communicating your intentions.
Humans have a strong tendency to understand and interpret things based on their own convenience.
In the end, changing the way I speak or speaking honestly is something I thought about from my own perspective, not something that takes the other person's feelings or intentions into consideration.
So what should we do? Cognitive science tells us that each of us has a different "schema."
A schema is a framework of knowledge and thinking that moves in the background when you listen to someone else's story.
Therefore, in order to understand the other person and convey my message properly, it is important to understand this schema.
This book reveals the true art of communication, a skill that grasps the essence of learning through cognitive science, and practical secrets that you can apply when you're frustrated by communication difficulties.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Beginning with the secrets of communication revealed by cognitive science
Chapter 1: The belief that "if you explain well, people will understand" may be a delusion.
Is it possible to understand each other's words accurately?
What does it mean to 'understand when you talk'?
Another challenge: human memory
Human memory is so uncertain
If there is an effort to approach until it is communicated
Chapter 2: What Happens to Us When Communication Breaks Down?
The other side of 'If you speak, it will be conveyed, and if you talk, it will be understood'
Why Words Don't Get Through ① Two Misunderstandings About 'Understanding'
Reason why things don't get across even when spoken ② Bias in perspectives that don't allow for fair consideration of everything
Reasons why words don't get through ③ The trap of expertise that obstructs vision
Why words don't get through even when spoken ④ Humans cannot become memory machines
Why Words Don't Get Through ⑤ Language and Emotion: The Main Culprits That Manipulate Memory
Why Your Thoughts Don't Get Through Even When You Speak ⑥ Cognitive Biases That Stop You from Thinking
Various beliefs and cognitive biases
Chapter 3: How to achieve seamless communication?
Demonstrate cognitive abilities at work and in everyday life.
Think from the other person's perspective
Theory of Mind in Business
Metacognition in Business
Communication of a 'hard worker' who is good at putting himself in other people's shoes
Care about feelings
The art of communication that turns emotions on your side
Explains how to prevent 'misunderstandings' and 'communication errors'
It speaks of both the concrete and the abstract.
Read the intention
Is the column 'Chontak' the same as reading the other person's intentions?
Chapter 4: "Communication Strategies to Overcome Communication Disruption": Learn from a Communication Master
What is good communication?
Column: "How to Use Money" for Organizations and Society
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ① They see failure as a way to grow.
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ② Sparing no effort in explanation
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ③ They do not try to control the other person.
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ④ Always ready to listen
Chapter 5: To Become a Business Expert
The foundation of business is communication.
Experts have an intuition
In conclusion
Chapter 1: The belief that "if you explain well, people will understand" may be a delusion.
Is it possible to understand each other's words accurately?
What does it mean to 'understand when you talk'?
Another challenge: human memory
Human memory is so uncertain
If there is an effort to approach until it is communicated
Chapter 2: What Happens to Us When Communication Breaks Down?
The other side of 'If you speak, it will be conveyed, and if you talk, it will be understood'
Why Words Don't Get Through ① Two Misunderstandings About 'Understanding'
Reason why things don't get across even when spoken ② Bias in perspectives that don't allow for fair consideration of everything
Reasons why words don't get through ③ The trap of expertise that obstructs vision
Why words don't get through even when spoken ④ Humans cannot become memory machines
Why Words Don't Get Through ⑤ Language and Emotion: The Main Culprits That Manipulate Memory
Why Your Thoughts Don't Get Through Even When You Speak ⑥ Cognitive Biases That Stop You from Thinking
Various beliefs and cognitive biases
Chapter 3: How to achieve seamless communication?
Demonstrate cognitive abilities at work and in everyday life.
Think from the other person's perspective
Theory of Mind in Business
Metacognition in Business
Communication of a 'hard worker' who is good at putting himself in other people's shoes
Care about feelings
The art of communication that turns emotions on your side
Explains how to prevent 'misunderstandings' and 'communication errors'
It speaks of both the concrete and the abstract.
Read the intention
Is the column 'Chontak' the same as reading the other person's intentions?
Chapter 4: "Communication Strategies to Overcome Communication Disruption": Learn from a Communication Master
What is good communication?
Column: "How to Use Money" for Organizations and Society
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ① They see failure as a way to grow.
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ② Sparing no effort in explanation
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ③ They do not try to control the other person.
Characteristic of a 'Master of Communication' ④ Always ready to listen
Chapter 5: To Become a Business Expert
The foundation of business is communication.
Experts have an intuition
In conclusion
Detailed image
Into the book
The reason why communication between people breaks down is because they cannot overcome the differences in what they take for granted, or because they cannot properly utilize their cognitive abilities.
Even if you explain it well to those who believe in the geocentric theory, it is difficult to make them understand that 'what moves is the Earth, the ground we stand on.'
Changing the way you speak will not be effective.
What you need to look into is the way you 'read the other person's mind'.
--- p.6
When you hear the word 'cat', some people think of 'the cat they are raising', while others think of characters like 'Hello Kitty' or 'Tom' from 'Tom and Jerry'.
Some people may have the impression that cats are 'fierce' because they have been scratched by cats, while others may think that they are 'cute' like dolls.
Some people may think of it as 'soft', while others may think of it as 'unclean'.
Because we each have different frameworks of knowledge and thought, it is highly likely that what comes to mind unconsciously when we hear the noun "cat" is completely different.
--- p.23
What is more worrisome is that even if you realize at the time of using ChatGPT that 'ChatGPT outputted incorrect information', when you encounter similar information later, you may only recall the content of the incorrect information, thinking 'I've heard this story somewhere before'.
Just like the victim of the sexual assault case mentioned earlier reacted to a photo of the suspect she had seen several times.
Can we simply say that this problem, which can happen to anyone, is 'the fault of the believer'?
--- p.53~54
Before claiming that others or society should naturally protect one's beliefs, we should consider where the boundaries lie between what individuals should protect and what boundaries lie between what constitutes norms that must be followed to maintain peace in society or the world.
To do this, we must understand and be aware that all humans have belief biases, that we are no exception, and that even experts are likely to form opinions based on belief biases.
--- p.121
People who don't use metacognition well in business are not accustomed to reviewing written material or checking that they are doing what their boss tells them to do.
So, it is easy to be evaluated as 'inconsiderate', 'sloppy', or to be considered to have problems with non-cognitive abilities or personality.
However, 'metacognition' is not a problem of non-cognitive abilities or personality.
It is an important cognitive problem.
--- p.150
Living in this world means understanding and compromising with the positions and ways of thinking of people with different schemas while protecting your own convictions.
Evaluating and judging an object from various perspectives rather than a fragmented one, while being mindful of the cognitive biases that both you and the other person have.
Taking a step back and looking at the values of the group you belong to.
Trying to make metacognition work properly.
Even if you explain it well to those who believe in the geocentric theory, it is difficult to make them understand that 'what moves is the Earth, the ground we stand on.'
Changing the way you speak will not be effective.
What you need to look into is the way you 'read the other person's mind'.
--- p.6
When you hear the word 'cat', some people think of 'the cat they are raising', while others think of characters like 'Hello Kitty' or 'Tom' from 'Tom and Jerry'.
Some people may have the impression that cats are 'fierce' because they have been scratched by cats, while others may think that they are 'cute' like dolls.
Some people may think of it as 'soft', while others may think of it as 'unclean'.
Because we each have different frameworks of knowledge and thought, it is highly likely that what comes to mind unconsciously when we hear the noun "cat" is completely different.
--- p.23
What is more worrisome is that even if you realize at the time of using ChatGPT that 'ChatGPT outputted incorrect information', when you encounter similar information later, you may only recall the content of the incorrect information, thinking 'I've heard this story somewhere before'.
Just like the victim of the sexual assault case mentioned earlier reacted to a photo of the suspect she had seen several times.
Can we simply say that this problem, which can happen to anyone, is 'the fault of the believer'?
--- p.53~54
Before claiming that others or society should naturally protect one's beliefs, we should consider where the boundaries lie between what individuals should protect and what boundaries lie between what constitutes norms that must be followed to maintain peace in society or the world.
To do this, we must understand and be aware that all humans have belief biases, that we are no exception, and that even experts are likely to form opinions based on belief biases.
--- p.121
People who don't use metacognition well in business are not accustomed to reviewing written material or checking that they are doing what their boss tells them to do.
So, it is easy to be evaluated as 'inconsiderate', 'sloppy', or to be considered to have problems with non-cognitive abilities or personality.
However, 'metacognition' is not a problem of non-cognitive abilities or personality.
It is an important cognitive problem.
--- p.150
Living in this world means understanding and compromising with the positions and ways of thinking of people with different schemas while protecting your own convictions.
Evaluating and judging an object from various perspectives rather than a fragmented one, while being mindful of the cognitive biases that both you and the other person have.
Taking a step back and looking at the values of the group you belong to.
Trying to make metacognition work properly.
--- p.251
Publisher's Review
What's wrong is not 'how to say it'
How to read minds!
“I didn’t mean it that way…” When something is conveyed to the superior with a nuance different from the intended meaning, the teacher wonders, “Why can’t the kids understand when I explain it so easily?” “When did you say that?” The child insists that he or she did, even though he or she never heard it.
We've all probably had this experience at least once, whether at work, at school, or at home, where we couldn't fully communicate with each other.
Why do we struggle with the everyday task of communication? It's because what we so easily refer to as "communication" actually relies on a variety of cognitive abilities.
Therefore, in order to communicate well, an approach from a cognitive science perspective is necessary above all else.
There are things in our heads that we take for granted, and what we take for granted varies from person to person.
Simply put, the reason why communication between people breaks down is because they cannot overcome the differences in what they take for granted, or because they cannot properly utilize their cognitive abilities.
The solutions this book offers are not things like, "Let's study how to speak," "Let's change the way we express ourselves," or "Let's explain over and over again until people understand."
To communicate effectively, we must first understand what and how people miss things, interpret things to their advantage, misunderstand, and forget.
In other words, what we need to focus on is not how to speak, but how to read minds.
In this book, you can learn in detail the communication skills to read the minds of others, as discovered by the author, a prominent cognitive scientist.
From metacognition to communication with AI,
The most scientific way to convey my intentions accurately!
Let's think about the word 'cat'.
Some people might think of their own cat, while others might think of characters like Hello Kitty or Tom from Tom and Jerry.
Some people may have the impression that cats are 'fierce' because they have been scratched by cats, while others may think that they are 'cute' like dolls.
Some people may think of it as 'soft', while others may think of it as 'scary'.
Each person has different experiences, education, and upbringing. Even if they grew up in the same environment, the 'framework' formed based on each person's interests and concerns is different.
That is, we each have different ‘frames of thinking’.
In cognitive science, this framework, which we take for granted as mentioned above, is called a ‘schema.’
Schema refers to the basic systems that operate in the background of our brains when we try to understand what others are saying.
All communication is based on schemas, and this book focuses on these schemas, which are constantly operating in our brains, and clearly presents scientifically grounded solutions to communication problems.
It also introduces a variety of real-life anecdotes and everyday examples to evoke empathy, and utilizes 'metacognition', which has recently been recognized as a major topic, to provide easy-to-understand explanations, and even covers communication issues with generative AI, providing a sense of immersion that touches the skin.
This book will be of interest to anyone interested in cognitive science or psychology, as well as office workers who want to work more smoothly with colleagues or business partners, teachers who study teaching methods and meet students, people who want to build better relationships with their spouses, children, friends, lovers, neighbors, or people who have read books related to 'how to speak' or 'how to communicate'. Through this book, they will be able to encounter fresh interpretations and ways of thinking that are different from what they knew before, and discover new practical communication secrets that can be applied immediately in real life.
How to read minds!
“I didn’t mean it that way…” When something is conveyed to the superior with a nuance different from the intended meaning, the teacher wonders, “Why can’t the kids understand when I explain it so easily?” “When did you say that?” The child insists that he or she did, even though he or she never heard it.
We've all probably had this experience at least once, whether at work, at school, or at home, where we couldn't fully communicate with each other.
Why do we struggle with the everyday task of communication? It's because what we so easily refer to as "communication" actually relies on a variety of cognitive abilities.
Therefore, in order to communicate well, an approach from a cognitive science perspective is necessary above all else.
There are things in our heads that we take for granted, and what we take for granted varies from person to person.
Simply put, the reason why communication between people breaks down is because they cannot overcome the differences in what they take for granted, or because they cannot properly utilize their cognitive abilities.
The solutions this book offers are not things like, "Let's study how to speak," "Let's change the way we express ourselves," or "Let's explain over and over again until people understand."
To communicate effectively, we must first understand what and how people miss things, interpret things to their advantage, misunderstand, and forget.
In other words, what we need to focus on is not how to speak, but how to read minds.
In this book, you can learn in detail the communication skills to read the minds of others, as discovered by the author, a prominent cognitive scientist.
From metacognition to communication with AI,
The most scientific way to convey my intentions accurately!
Let's think about the word 'cat'.
Some people might think of their own cat, while others might think of characters like Hello Kitty or Tom from Tom and Jerry.
Some people may have the impression that cats are 'fierce' because they have been scratched by cats, while others may think that they are 'cute' like dolls.
Some people may think of it as 'soft', while others may think of it as 'scary'.
Each person has different experiences, education, and upbringing. Even if they grew up in the same environment, the 'framework' formed based on each person's interests and concerns is different.
That is, we each have different ‘frames of thinking’.
In cognitive science, this framework, which we take for granted as mentioned above, is called a ‘schema.’
Schema refers to the basic systems that operate in the background of our brains when we try to understand what others are saying.
All communication is based on schemas, and this book focuses on these schemas, which are constantly operating in our brains, and clearly presents scientifically grounded solutions to communication problems.
It also introduces a variety of real-life anecdotes and everyday examples to evoke empathy, and utilizes 'metacognition', which has recently been recognized as a major topic, to provide easy-to-understand explanations, and even covers communication issues with generative AI, providing a sense of immersion that touches the skin.
This book will be of interest to anyone interested in cognitive science or psychology, as well as office workers who want to work more smoothly with colleagues or business partners, teachers who study teaching methods and meet students, people who want to build better relationships with their spouses, children, friends, lovers, neighbors, or people who have read books related to 'how to speak' or 'how to communicate'. Through this book, they will be able to encounter fresh interpretations and ways of thinking that are different from what they knew before, and discover new practical communication secrets that can be applied immediately in real life.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: May 20, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 254 pages | 416g | 140*210*16mm
- ISBN13: 9791173476112
- ISBN10: 1173476113
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