★ Takashi Saito's new book, which has sold over 10 million copies!
★ Professor Daehyun Yoon of Seoul National University Hospital strongly recommends Lee Yeon, a YouTuber with 960,000 followers!

'Would it be weird to say this?' 'Are you not finding what I'm saying interesting?'
I'm speechless because my thoughts are overflowing!

Takashi Saito, a communications expert with 40 years of experience, shares his thoughts.
How to Have a Favorable Conversation That Makes You Want to See Someone Again

Takashi Saito, Japan's leading communication expert and bestselling author who has given communication lectures to tens of thousands of people for over 40 years, has published a new book, "Speaking Classes for Those Who Think a Lot."
Through extensive research, he points out that the common trait among people who have difficulty speaking is that they 'think a lot.'
They explain that they become speechless because they are concerned about what others might think, such as, "Can I say this?" or "Will they think this is weird?"
The author aims to impart communication skills that can be used in real-life conversations to those who think a lot.
This book provides concrete examples of everything from how to start a conversation in awkward situations to versatile conversational topics you can use anywhere, to how to make a good impression on others and develop relationships.


When having a conversation, you feel more comfortable when you have someone who listens well and reacts at the right time, rather than someone who just talks about themselves without hesitation.
The author defines these people as 'good speakers' who create a positive atmosphere.
You will discover a conversation technique that will help anyone easily win the other person's heart without having to liven up the mood with an interesting story or speak as fluently as an announcer.

It's not your personality that makes you speechless, it's your overthinking.
It becomes easier to have a conversation if you reduce the number of thoughts that are overflowing in your head.
Even if you think, 'I wonder if they'll think it's weird if I say this,' or 'I guess I only said boring things,' the other person probably won't care much.
You may feel frustrated because you can't keep the conversation flowing smoothly due to such worries, saying, "I couldn't join in the conversation," or "I couldn't say much about myself." However, the other person may be grateful to you for brightening the mood and listening attentively to their story.
So there is absolutely no need to lose confidence due to baseless illusions.
--- From "Starting - To You Who Are Speechless Because of Overflowing Thoughts"

It's exhausting to worry about things like, 'Will they hate me if I say this?' or 'Will they laugh at me and say I'm stupid if I make this suggestion or ask this question?'
However, this can be said to be the same as 'talking while looking at myself across from the other person'.
Because I am only concerned about how others perceive me, my consciousness is directed towards myself rather than the other person.
If the other person feels the same way, they will not be talking to each other, but will only try to see 'the me that the other person is seeing'.
This way, communication will not be possible and you will only waste unnecessary energy.
--- From "Chapter 1 - Not being able to speak is an illusion"

It's common to be asked, "What do you usually do on holidays?"
(…) If you try to seriously answer this question by saying, ‘What do I usually do?’, you may not be able to think of anything right away or you may not be doing anything that would interest the other person, so you may have to think about it for a while.
In this case, the correct answer is 'say what you want to say'.
It's a good idea to talk about a hobby you're into now or something you were doing at the time, like, "I've been thinking about traveling abroad, so I've been looking into places to go."
The other person doesn't want to know about your holiday, they're just looking for a conversation starter to have a good time with you.
So, just give me a clue.
--- From "Chapter 2 - Conversation Methods for Those Who Think Too Much"

Remember that the principle of self-introduction is not 'talking about my history' but 'throwing out a story that can find common ground with the other person.'
For example, you can introduce yourself like this:
“I am currently working at this company and doing this kind of work.”
“I am a graduate of ○○ school and I am studying this.”
Although it's okay, let's introduce our resume at least and add a story that might interest the other person.
“I love ramen, so I’ve been to all the best ramen restaurants.
“If you want to eat delicious ramen, just tell me.”
“I recently started raising a cat.
“Thanks to that, I feel healed when I go home.”
When people find common ground in what they like and are interested in, that alone can liven up the conversation.
--- From "Chapter 2 - Conversation Methods for Those Who Think Too Much"

A great presenter has a sensor that reads 'what that person wants to talk about.'
The essence of a good question is to figure out, 'This is what that person wants to talk about,' or 'This is the essential story.'
(…) For example, let’s say a player who had been sitting on the bench all along is brought in at a crucial moment and leads the team to a comeback win.
If you ask, "You must have felt regretful for several years, how are you feeling today?", the player will answer by recalling difficult memories, and if it is a drama like that of a player, the fans will want to hear it too.
The ideal question is one that asks the other person something they would want to talk about.
--- From "Chapter 3 - I Want to Become Someone People Want to Talk to Again"

Surprisingly, it is not the speaker but the listener who drives communication.
A good speaker dominates the conversation, but never dominates the room.
In fact, it is the 'listener' who leads the atmosphere of the place by listening to the story and reacting appropriately so that it is easy to speak.
Who was the person you thought you 'wanted to meet again'?
Let's think about it based on each of our experiences.
Did that person smile at your story, respond positively, or even clap their hands and laugh cheerfully? Yes.
The reason I was able to talk comfortably was because the other person listened to my story as if it was interesting.
--- From "Chapter 3 - I Want to Become Someone People Want to Talk to Again"

There are people who have a pleasant conversation and a good time when they first meet, but then feel awkward the second time they meet.
But there's no need to worry.
Because you just need to review 'what we talked about last time'.


A Thank you for last time.
B Oh, it was fun back then.
A By the way, how is the dog you mentioned last time?
B Yes, he's still a prankster.
How have things been since then?
A I see.
Actually these days… .

If you can't think of anything to talk about, you can just ask directly, "What did we talk about last time?"
As the two of you reminisce together, you can relive the time you shared last time.
Even if you forget, say “I’m sorry.
You can just laugh it off by saying, “I guess it’s because I’m getting older, but my memory is…”
In addition to what we talked about last time, it would be better if you could talk about your recent situation for about 15 seconds.

--- From “Chapter 4 - Good Relationships Begin with Comfortable Conversation”

If you think, "If I just become close with one person, I'll achieve my goal," like I do, you can attend large parties without being discouraged.
Even if you become close with one person at a time, if you go to five gatherings, you will have five close friends.
Thinking this way motivates me and keeps me from getting nervous.
When you don't know anyone, just talk to someone who is similar to you.
If you know the participants in advance, why not try talking to someone you recognize by face but have never spoken to before, or someone you follow on social media but have never actually spoken to in person?

--- From "Chapter 5 - How to Open Your Mouth Easily Anytime, Anywhere"