Wisdom of living alone in old age
 |
Description
Book Introduction
The number of elderly people living alone is increasing.
Future retirement lifestyle
The secret to living well with yourself and those around you
A psychiatrist teaches kindly!
A book that caused a stir in major Japanese newspapers
In the era of 100-year lifespans, while "How should I live in old age?" was a major topic of discussion, now "How should I live when I become alone in old age?" is attracting even more attention.
There are many different situations and reasons why people end up living alone in old age, such as the death of a wife or husband, divorce in old age, or children becoming independent.
So, you must prepare yourself mentally for that day when you will be alone.
But unfortunately, some people become depressed because they cannot fill the empty space in their hearts after their husbands leave them first, and some people lose all will to live after their wives and children leave them, suffering from loneliness.
There are quite a few things to prepare for to prevent that from happening.
So, this book is for people who have started living alone, are planning to live alone, or are planning to live alone. It contains information from a psychiatrist's perspective on how to prepare mentally, tips for communicating with neighbors, mindset for daily life, and ways to activate a declining brain.
Future retirement lifestyle
The secret to living well with yourself and those around you
A psychiatrist teaches kindly!
A book that caused a stir in major Japanese newspapers
In the era of 100-year lifespans, while "How should I live in old age?" was a major topic of discussion, now "How should I live when I become alone in old age?" is attracting even more attention.
There are many different situations and reasons why people end up living alone in old age, such as the death of a wife or husband, divorce in old age, or children becoming independent.
So, you must prepare yourself mentally for that day when you will be alone.
But unfortunately, some people become depressed because they cannot fill the empty space in their hearts after their husbands leave them first, and some people lose all will to live after their wives and children leave them, suffering from loneliness.
There are quite a few things to prepare for to prevent that from happening.
So, this book is for people who have started living alone, are planning to live alone, or are planning to live alone. It contains information from a psychiatrist's perspective on how to prepare mentally, tips for communicating with neighbors, mindset for daily life, and ways to activate a declining brain.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
To begin with
Living Alone in Retirement - A Single Life Overflowing with Dreams
Translator's Preface
I hope you do well in your final activities
Reviewer's note
A book that teaches you the wisdom to live well in the second half of life.
Chapter 1
Things to Know When Starting Your 'Self-Retirement' Life
"So, what should I do from now on?" Let's think about the extravagant things.
How much longer can I live?
Don't lament growing old, enjoy it.
Let's have various hobbies
Even people in their 70s and 80s can do new things.
The downsides of living alone in old age
You must become strong in the face of loneliness
Enjoying alone time will make loneliness disappear.
If it's too difficult, get help from the welfare support system.
Let's confidently use living support services.
Even if you live alone in your old age, there is still value in living.
I need a fresh start in my life.
Chapter 2
Seniors have a unique way of socializing.
Goodbye to work-related encounters
The joy of meeting without conflict of interest
We need someone we can call 'SOS' to.
Let's make trustworthy neighbors
Take advantage of community gatherings and facilities.
Don't be afraid to get to know your neighbors.
Let's practice smiling
“Back in the day, I was…” The most ugly of ugly things
How to Choose Good Neighbors
Takeda Shingen's Seven Precautions for Good Interpersonal Relationships
Those who are like oil and water get along better.
The dangerous idea of 'not stopping people from coming'
Small talk can help bridge the gap between us.
You shouldn't force your own ways and tastes on others.
Don't ask for personal information without permission.
Let's reveal all our weaknesses
How to reject someone without making them feel bad
Greetings you can use in everyday life
You can't treat someone or get something for them.
Let's talk openly with the neighborhood head and village chief.
Chapter 3
Let's live well with the money we have now
There's no use worrying about money.
How to Face Economic Insecurity
Spend money within your means
Need to leave money to your children? : No!
'True savings' aren't empty promises.
What exactly is the difference between "frugal" and "miserly"?
The money I have now is enough!
What he left for his children was not money, but the will of Monk Ilhyu.
Chapter 4
Changing your habits can improve your brain, mind, and body.
Lifestyle Habits
Waking up early every day is good for your brain health.
Why You Don't Sleep in as You Get Older
It's not good to wake up suddenly in the morning.
A morning bath activates the brain.
What is the right nap time for me?
TV quiz shows that are good for your brain health
Never use 'geoshigi'
The brain can be trained even after 70.
Writing a diary is good for your brain!
Why doesn't walking train your brain?
Why Walking Is Good for Your Brain Health
You need to relax to sleep well
Eating Habits
Why You Should Eat Breakfast
Eating well makes your brain healthy
There's no need to insist on 'three meals a day'
A little bit too little is just right
Even if you're eating alone, say "I'll enjoy my meal" or "I enjoyed the meal."
Let's eat foods of different colors
Chapter 5
Let's live in peace without worrying unnecessarily.
Let's just do what we can
Even complaining can be done cleverly
Growing old is also growing up.
It's natural that there will be things that you can no longer do.
Only bad memories can be erased: the art of forgetting
Let's look back on the past
Don't fall into health anxiety
This is how I want to say goodbye to the world: Ending Notes
Conclusion
Let's just prepare ourselves mentally
Living Alone in Retirement - A Single Life Overflowing with Dreams
Translator's Preface
I hope you do well in your final activities
Reviewer's note
A book that teaches you the wisdom to live well in the second half of life.
Chapter 1
Things to Know When Starting Your 'Self-Retirement' Life
"So, what should I do from now on?" Let's think about the extravagant things.
How much longer can I live?
Don't lament growing old, enjoy it.
Let's have various hobbies
Even people in their 70s and 80s can do new things.
The downsides of living alone in old age
You must become strong in the face of loneliness
Enjoying alone time will make loneliness disappear.
If it's too difficult, get help from the welfare support system.
Let's confidently use living support services.
Even if you live alone in your old age, there is still value in living.
I need a fresh start in my life.
Chapter 2
Seniors have a unique way of socializing.
Goodbye to work-related encounters
The joy of meeting without conflict of interest
We need someone we can call 'SOS' to.
Let's make trustworthy neighbors
Take advantage of community gatherings and facilities.
Don't be afraid to get to know your neighbors.
Let's practice smiling
“Back in the day, I was…” The most ugly of ugly things
How to Choose Good Neighbors
Takeda Shingen's Seven Precautions for Good Interpersonal Relationships
Those who are like oil and water get along better.
The dangerous idea of 'not stopping people from coming'
Small talk can help bridge the gap between us.
You shouldn't force your own ways and tastes on others.
Don't ask for personal information without permission.
Let's reveal all our weaknesses
How to reject someone without making them feel bad
Greetings you can use in everyday life
You can't treat someone or get something for them.
Let's talk openly with the neighborhood head and village chief.
Chapter 3
Let's live well with the money we have now
There's no use worrying about money.
How to Face Economic Insecurity
Spend money within your means
Need to leave money to your children? : No!
'True savings' aren't empty promises.
What exactly is the difference between "frugal" and "miserly"?
The money I have now is enough!
What he left for his children was not money, but the will of Monk Ilhyu.
Chapter 4
Changing your habits can improve your brain, mind, and body.
Lifestyle Habits
Waking up early every day is good for your brain health.
Why You Don't Sleep in as You Get Older
It's not good to wake up suddenly in the morning.
A morning bath activates the brain.
What is the right nap time for me?
TV quiz shows that are good for your brain health
Never use 'geoshigi'
The brain can be trained even after 70.
Writing a diary is good for your brain!
Why doesn't walking train your brain?
Why Walking Is Good for Your Brain Health
You need to relax to sleep well
Eating Habits
Why You Should Eat Breakfast
Eating well makes your brain healthy
There's no need to insist on 'three meals a day'
A little bit too little is just right
Even if you're eating alone, say "I'll enjoy my meal" or "I enjoyed the meal."
Let's eat foods of different colors
Chapter 5
Let's live in peace without worrying unnecessarily.
Let's just do what we can
Even complaining can be done cleverly
Growing old is also growing up.
It's natural that there will be things that you can no longer do.
Only bad memories can be erased: the art of forgetting
Let's look back on the past
Don't fall into health anxiety
This is how I want to say goodbye to the world: Ending Notes
Conclusion
Let's just prepare ourselves mentally
Detailed image
Into the book
Unlike when I was younger, I now have more time on my hands, so I started coming up with various ideas and making small items like wallets and glasses cases.
A friend who saw this said, “I’ll pay for the materials and production costs, so make one for me too,” so I happily made one for him. When he saw the finished product, he was delighted, and from that, the number of orders increased by 2-3 people, and now I’m even selling it online.
However, no matter how much time you have, being overly ambitious is something to think about.
In particular, exercise that requires physical strength, such as sports, requires caution. If you exercise beyond your ability, you may suddenly become tired and may even harm your health.
As you get older, your physical strength definitely declines.
You should always keep in mind that you should be exercising at an appropriate level for your body.
--- p.32
When we occasionally see or hear the slogan, "Let's enjoy life more!" on TV or in commercials, we might think, "Then maybe I'm not living a very enjoyable life."
But in reality, such slogans are just words used to sell products or services.
Because such words are constantly coming out in newspapers, broadcasts, or online media, we unconsciously become anxious and think, "Shouldn't I have more purpose in life?" or "Am I not supposed to enjoy life?"
But there is absolutely no need for that.
Just think, 'The meaning of life will become more leisurely.'
Because even if you are in your 70s now, you still have a lot of time left.
--- p.53
When you live alone in your old age, you can say “goodbye” to those kinds of relationships.
Even if your former boss or colleagues ask you to go to a company dinner, you don't have to force yourself to go. The same goes for if a former business partner asks you to go golfing together.
From now on, no one will say anything or curse at you if you reject anyone except for those you are compatible with and close to you personally.
However, if you have been working for more than 40 years, you may be anxious, thinking, "If I cut off all the relationships with people I met through work, I will feel lonely because I won't know anyone."
But from now on, wouldn't it be okay to only meet the people you truly want to meet? If you look closely at your neighbors, your school friends you like, or people you met through hobbies, you'll find many people around you.
Also, why not try contacting an old friend you've grown distant from? Sending a letter or calling and reminiscing about old times can quickly bring you back to those "good old days."
--- p.60
Living alone gives you more opportunities to go out around the house, such as for walks, grocery shopping, and separating trash.
When I meet my neighbors, I consciously try to say “hello” first.
Because no one feels bad when they are greeted.
He will greet you with a bright smile.
Greeting each other like this is the starting point for connecting people.
From there, you can start having conversations little by little.
If we were to choose the easiest topic of conversation, it would be the weather, even though it is simple.
You can say things like, “It suddenly got cold,” or “It’s a bit hot today,” or whatever you feel at that time.
Then, as we stand together and talk, the topics of conversation become more diverse.
It doesn't take long for them to start talking to each other when they go out and sharing gifts with each other when they receive them.
Having trustworthy neighbors makes living alone much easier.
--- p.67
If there is someone who laughs loudly, I think, 'That person has a really bright personality' or 'That person would be fun to be around.'
Also, if there is someone who does not greet you, you can think, 'They must be shy or embarrassed.'
This way, you can relatively easily transform negative emotions into positive emotions.
This can be helpful when trying to make new friends and acquaintances.
And, you can continue to have a good relationship with someone who accepts your differences and starts dating you.
This has also been proven psychologically.
In other words, it is a psychology called the ‘factor of complementarity’, which means that one side compensates for what the other side lacks.
Let's say there's a couple who are so introverted that they even refrain from smiling.
--- p.87
If your health and physical and mental condition make it difficult for you to meet people, and you continue to avoid meeting people without even explaining why, you will eventually become isolated.
When you lose touch with your community as you get older, it's like losing your lifeline.
Especially for someone who lives alone, it becomes a matter of life and death.
How seniors can maintain close relationships with their communities and maintain ongoing communication is an equally important issue.
So what should you do when you're feeling unwell and don't want to meet people? Just drop all pretense and pride and reveal your situation as it is.
--- p.102
Geriatric depression is already on the rise, and terms like "low-class elderly" and "old-age bankruptcy" could further fuel that upward trend.
However, the 'pessimism' that arises from such words often remains only a thought.
Because no one knows if the things you worry about 10 or 20 years from now will actually happen when you retire.
If you are someone who tends to be pessimistic, you might think, 'I only have 3 million yen in savings, and my pension is only about 1 million yen a year. I can't live like this...'
If you only think pessimistically like this, you are bound to develop geriatric depression.
So, how can we avoid geriatric depression? Just don't overthink what might happen in the future.
--- p.125
When asked, "How much did you save?", she said that she set a limit on how much toilet paper to use per use, and as a reminder, she wrote "Only three rolls of toilet paper per use" and stuck it on the bathroom wall. She also said that she didn't turn on the lights in the house until the sun went down and it got dark.
Of course, it is true that wasting toilet paper and using more electricity than necessary are both wasteful of resources.
However, this person's case was a bit excessive.
I'm so motivated that I can't help but be called a 'miser'.
So what's the difference between "frugality" and "stinginess"? The dictionary defines thrift as reducing waste and living frugally, while stinginess is saving more money and goods than necessary.
The key here is to ‘save more than necessary.’
There is also a difference in whether there is a clear purpose for saving.
If your goal is to 'not spend money at all' without any plan, then you are just a 'stingy miser'.
--- p.139
Many people mistakenly believe that while sleeping at night, they continue to sleep at the same depth, and after a certain period of time, their sleep gradually becomes shallower and they eventually wake up.
But in reality, there is something called a sleep rhythm, which alternates between ‘light sleep’ and ‘deep sleep’.
Light sleep is called 'REM sleep', and even while you sleep, your eyes move under your eyelids.
In other words, it is a sleep in which the body is resting but the brain is active.
Deep sleep is called 'non-REM sleep', and refers to a state in which the eyes do not move and the brain stops most activity and rests.
When you're young, you typically start out in non-REM sleep when you fall asleep, and then move into REM sleep 1-2 hours later.
After that, non-REM sleep and REM sleep alternate, repeating about 4-5 times a night before you finally wake up.
--- p.159
When you are hungry, you want to eat food.
The hormone that promotes this feeling of hunger is called ghrelin.
Ghrelin, secreted from the stomach, acts on the pituitary gland and hypothalamus to increase appetite.
Dr. Hobers investigated brain function in experimental mice that were artificially unable to produce the hormone ghrelin, and discovered that the number of synapses in the hippocampus, which is involved in memory, was 25% lower than in normal mice.
And when these mice were injected with ghrelin, the number of synapses increased rapidly.
If you can't produce ghrelin, you won't feel hungry, so you'll always feel full.
In fact, if you measure the blood ghrelin concentration in people, you can see that it is higher in slim people than in obese people.
Of course, Dr. Hovers' experimental results cannot be directly applied to humans, but if you are always full or become obese, your ghrelin levels may decrease, hippocampal function may deteriorate, and memory may decline.
A friend who saw this said, “I’ll pay for the materials and production costs, so make one for me too,” so I happily made one for him. When he saw the finished product, he was delighted, and from that, the number of orders increased by 2-3 people, and now I’m even selling it online.
However, no matter how much time you have, being overly ambitious is something to think about.
In particular, exercise that requires physical strength, such as sports, requires caution. If you exercise beyond your ability, you may suddenly become tired and may even harm your health.
As you get older, your physical strength definitely declines.
You should always keep in mind that you should be exercising at an appropriate level for your body.
--- p.32
When we occasionally see or hear the slogan, "Let's enjoy life more!" on TV or in commercials, we might think, "Then maybe I'm not living a very enjoyable life."
But in reality, such slogans are just words used to sell products or services.
Because such words are constantly coming out in newspapers, broadcasts, or online media, we unconsciously become anxious and think, "Shouldn't I have more purpose in life?" or "Am I not supposed to enjoy life?"
But there is absolutely no need for that.
Just think, 'The meaning of life will become more leisurely.'
Because even if you are in your 70s now, you still have a lot of time left.
--- p.53
When you live alone in your old age, you can say “goodbye” to those kinds of relationships.
Even if your former boss or colleagues ask you to go to a company dinner, you don't have to force yourself to go. The same goes for if a former business partner asks you to go golfing together.
From now on, no one will say anything or curse at you if you reject anyone except for those you are compatible with and close to you personally.
However, if you have been working for more than 40 years, you may be anxious, thinking, "If I cut off all the relationships with people I met through work, I will feel lonely because I won't know anyone."
But from now on, wouldn't it be okay to only meet the people you truly want to meet? If you look closely at your neighbors, your school friends you like, or people you met through hobbies, you'll find many people around you.
Also, why not try contacting an old friend you've grown distant from? Sending a letter or calling and reminiscing about old times can quickly bring you back to those "good old days."
--- p.60
Living alone gives you more opportunities to go out around the house, such as for walks, grocery shopping, and separating trash.
When I meet my neighbors, I consciously try to say “hello” first.
Because no one feels bad when they are greeted.
He will greet you with a bright smile.
Greeting each other like this is the starting point for connecting people.
From there, you can start having conversations little by little.
If we were to choose the easiest topic of conversation, it would be the weather, even though it is simple.
You can say things like, “It suddenly got cold,” or “It’s a bit hot today,” or whatever you feel at that time.
Then, as we stand together and talk, the topics of conversation become more diverse.
It doesn't take long for them to start talking to each other when they go out and sharing gifts with each other when they receive them.
Having trustworthy neighbors makes living alone much easier.
--- p.67
If there is someone who laughs loudly, I think, 'That person has a really bright personality' or 'That person would be fun to be around.'
Also, if there is someone who does not greet you, you can think, 'They must be shy or embarrassed.'
This way, you can relatively easily transform negative emotions into positive emotions.
This can be helpful when trying to make new friends and acquaintances.
And, you can continue to have a good relationship with someone who accepts your differences and starts dating you.
This has also been proven psychologically.
In other words, it is a psychology called the ‘factor of complementarity’, which means that one side compensates for what the other side lacks.
Let's say there's a couple who are so introverted that they even refrain from smiling.
--- p.87
If your health and physical and mental condition make it difficult for you to meet people, and you continue to avoid meeting people without even explaining why, you will eventually become isolated.
When you lose touch with your community as you get older, it's like losing your lifeline.
Especially for someone who lives alone, it becomes a matter of life and death.
How seniors can maintain close relationships with their communities and maintain ongoing communication is an equally important issue.
So what should you do when you're feeling unwell and don't want to meet people? Just drop all pretense and pride and reveal your situation as it is.
--- p.102
Geriatric depression is already on the rise, and terms like "low-class elderly" and "old-age bankruptcy" could further fuel that upward trend.
However, the 'pessimism' that arises from such words often remains only a thought.
Because no one knows if the things you worry about 10 or 20 years from now will actually happen when you retire.
If you are someone who tends to be pessimistic, you might think, 'I only have 3 million yen in savings, and my pension is only about 1 million yen a year. I can't live like this...'
If you only think pessimistically like this, you are bound to develop geriatric depression.
So, how can we avoid geriatric depression? Just don't overthink what might happen in the future.
--- p.125
When asked, "How much did you save?", she said that she set a limit on how much toilet paper to use per use, and as a reminder, she wrote "Only three rolls of toilet paper per use" and stuck it on the bathroom wall. She also said that she didn't turn on the lights in the house until the sun went down and it got dark.
Of course, it is true that wasting toilet paper and using more electricity than necessary are both wasteful of resources.
However, this person's case was a bit excessive.
I'm so motivated that I can't help but be called a 'miser'.
So what's the difference between "frugality" and "stinginess"? The dictionary defines thrift as reducing waste and living frugally, while stinginess is saving more money and goods than necessary.
The key here is to ‘save more than necessary.’
There is also a difference in whether there is a clear purpose for saving.
If your goal is to 'not spend money at all' without any plan, then you are just a 'stingy miser'.
--- p.139
Many people mistakenly believe that while sleeping at night, they continue to sleep at the same depth, and after a certain period of time, their sleep gradually becomes shallower and they eventually wake up.
But in reality, there is something called a sleep rhythm, which alternates between ‘light sleep’ and ‘deep sleep’.
Light sleep is called 'REM sleep', and even while you sleep, your eyes move under your eyelids.
In other words, it is a sleep in which the body is resting but the brain is active.
Deep sleep is called 'non-REM sleep', and refers to a state in which the eyes do not move and the brain stops most activity and rests.
When you're young, you typically start out in non-REM sleep when you fall asleep, and then move into REM sleep 1-2 hours later.
After that, non-REM sleep and REM sleep alternate, repeating about 4-5 times a night before you finally wake up.
--- p.159
When you are hungry, you want to eat food.
The hormone that promotes this feeling of hunger is called ghrelin.
Ghrelin, secreted from the stomach, acts on the pituitary gland and hypothalamus to increase appetite.
Dr. Hobers investigated brain function in experimental mice that were artificially unable to produce the hormone ghrelin, and discovered that the number of synapses in the hippocampus, which is involved in memory, was 25% lower than in normal mice.
And when these mice were injected with ghrelin, the number of synapses increased rapidly.
If you can't produce ghrelin, you won't feel hungry, so you'll always feel full.
In fact, if you measure the blood ghrelin concentration in people, you can see that it is higher in slim people than in obese people.
Of course, Dr. Hovers' experimental results cannot be directly applied to humans, but if you are always full or become obese, your ghrelin levels may decrease, hippocampal function may deteriorate, and memory may decline.
--- pp.205-206
Publisher's Review
I have a strange feeling of anxiety about the future.
Content that can help you meet your positive self
As we age, our risk of experiencing unexpected accidents and suffering from illness increases.
If you live alone and suddenly need to be hospitalized or undergo surgery, who will serve as your guarantor? If you stay home to avoid being a nuisance to others and develop dementia, how will you receive treatment, and what will happen to your assets? As a psychiatrist, the author presents various perspectives on how the projected 9 million elderly people living alone in Japan by 2040 can break free from the mindset of "not being a nuisance to others" and establish a soft landing in their relationships in the community, ways to address financial concerns, ways to improve their health, and ways to alleviate insomnia and anxiety that are common in elderly people living alone.
Even married couples must live as if they were living alone to be happy.
A book that teaches you the wisdom to live well in the latter half of life.
Living in Japan, where the population over 65 years old reaches 30%, I realized that there are many elderly people living colorful and new lives.
He debuted as a poet in his 60s, held an exhibition as a painter in his 70s, frequented a used bookstore, and then wrote a book as a history expert.
Seniors are actively working to create a neighborhood where everyone can grow old happily together.
Japanese and Korean office workers' attire is similar, but retirees' attire is quite different.
Japan is more daring and provocative.
I think this is a result of individuality being more prominent because you don't have to worry about social perception.
An economic recession does not mean a recession in life.
A super-aging society with an average life expectancy of 90 years.
I think it's a gift that lets you show off your individuality and a chance to try something you've always wanted to do.
If you still have muscles and teeth, what can't you do?
This book teaches you how to live well alone in the latter half of your life.
In 2035, 10 years from now, our country's aging population will reach 30%, like Japan.
In our country, the population aged 65 and over has just surpassed 20%, but in Japan, that was the case in 2005.
In other words, today's Korea is 20 years ahead of Japan, and today's Japan is 10 years ahead of Korea.
Japan's social experience and wisdom are things we can put to use right away.
The two countries have similar living cultures, eating habits, family structures, and labor structures.
We should look at Japan's successes and failures in developing a super-aged society, emulate what worked well, and avoid what didn't.
This is called a model that allows us to experience the future sociologically.
In that sense, this book contains wisdom for the later stages of life that can be experienced in advance.
Whether you live alone or with someone, there are countless future wisdoms written down that you can take to heart, such as, ‘Enjoy your alone time and loneliness will disappear,’ ‘Goodbye to work-related encounters,’ ‘The joy of encounters without interests,’ ‘You shouldn’t treat others or get something for them,’ and ‘True frugality isn’t about being empty-handed.’
This book is like a navigation system that guides us to live wisely in a super-aging society.
Among the things you need to know when starting 'living alone in old age'
“You must become strong in the face of loneliness.”
The word 'loneliness' always has images of fear, hardship, and loneliness attached to it.
Some people even say they feel a sense of despair and tragedy.
But there's no need to be too scared.
The image of 'solitude = fear, silence and loneliness' is just an emotion that arises because we do not properly understand what loneliness is.
There is a proverb that says, 'The true identity of a ghost is a withered reed flower.'
The name Eulalia flower refers to the ear of Eulalia grass, and it means, 'I trembled in the middle of the night thinking it was a ghost, but when I looked closely, it was a withered Eulalia flower.'
Loneliness is the same.
Because we don't know what a lonely life is like and don't even try to understand it, we become convinced that it is scary and painful just from the image.
But when you actually start living alone, you'll realize that it's not much different from the life you've lived with your family.
If I had to point out a difference, it would be that I have more freedom in my life. The increased physical space means you might feel lonely at first, but you'll soon get used to it and it won't bother you at all.
As you know, Sun Tzu said, "If you know your enemy, you will win every battle."
It means, 'If you understand your enemies' abilities and situation well and understand yourself well, you can win no matter how many times you fight.'
If we replace 'enemy' here with 'solitude', it becomes a proverb about solitude.
Loneliness, if understood well, is 'nothing to fear.'
Seniors have a unique way of socializing.
“I used to say…”
The most ugly of the ugly
Participating in local activities and hobby groups will allow you to meet all kinds of people.
While good encounters can happen there, whether you'll have a good time together in the future really depends on first impressions.
One of the best times to get to know someone new is when you introduce yourself. What if you said something like this? "I worked for a large corporation, so I spent most of my time in Europe.
In the end, I worked as an executive director at the headquarters… 'First impression is the worst.
Needless to say, the other person will feel very uncomfortable with you.
Actually, the story I need to tell is about my current self living alone after retirement.
If you only talk about things that went well in the past, you will never make a good impression.
Moreover, it is really foolish to boast about your old position.
You must remember that you will only make yourself ugly and miserable.
“My name is △△ and I live alone in ○○-dong.
I've always wanted to try it, so I joined a Janggi (Baduk) club.
“I may be a little awkward, but I’ll be happy to help you.” A good meeting begins with a humble self-introduction like this.
Now that I'm retired, I need to change my mindset and make new friends, and I need to completely forget about the useless days of the past.
If that doesn't work, you won't be able to join any gatherings or groups and will end up being an outcast.
Let's live well with the money we have now
Spend money within your means
People's perceptions of money and their ways of using it vary greatly. Watch TV, read magazines, and see people bragging about their extravagant spending, while others boast about their lack of money.
In particular, it has become quite common these days to talk as if boasting about one's poverty, so we often hear things like, "My household budget is in the red every month, so I don't even want to write anymore" or "No matter how much poor people work tirelessly, their lives will never improve."
The problem is people who spend money beyond their means and those who show off.
There are many people who want to save face, live like celebrities, and show off.
In fact, there are quite a few elderly people who upload overly flashy photos and videos to social media in order to gain popularity online.
While it's sometimes okay to be the first to buy limited-edition items from stores that have become a hot topic in magazines or online, or to treat juniors and colleagues to a lavish meal, and enjoy a small sense of superiority, spending money solely thinking about "what will others think?" is less relatable.
Especially when you reach a certain age, it's a good idea to make purchases with your own planning and confidence, regardless of trends or price.
For example, even a scarf purchased on sale can look much better if you coordinate it with sense than buying a luxury item that costs hundreds of thousands of won.
If you learn how to dress well and have a good sense of style, even cheap items can be seen as 'good products', which can bring new joy to your life.
Don't be unnecessarily anxious
Let's live comfortably and complain tactfully.
"Oh my, I really don't want to talk to that old man anymore because he just keeps complaining." This is the most common criticism of the elderly.
Life is now in its twilight years, and living alone can cause a lot of resentment to build up inside.
But if all that comes out of your mouth is complaining, you're bound to get ostracized by people.
However, if you keep holding in loneliness, pain, and resentment and keep them inside your heart, your mood will become even more gloomy and you may even develop depression.
So what should we do? Rather than suppressing our inner resentment too much, it's important to sometimes vent our frustrations to someone in a clever way and find peace.
However, there are 'rules' that must be followed.
First of all, you must choose your opponent carefully.
It would be best if someone who knows my inner thoughts well, like an old friend, would listen to my complaints. If possible, it would be better if it was someone in a similar situation to me.
If the situations we are in are too different, it won't be easy for the other person to accept my feelings.
And one more 'thank you' is needed.
If I complained this time, I should think that next time I will have to listen to the other person's complaints.
Of course, there's no need to neatly switch roles, but if you're the only one complaining, the other person will think, "Hey, can you stop talking?"
Content that can help you meet your positive self
As we age, our risk of experiencing unexpected accidents and suffering from illness increases.
If you live alone and suddenly need to be hospitalized or undergo surgery, who will serve as your guarantor? If you stay home to avoid being a nuisance to others and develop dementia, how will you receive treatment, and what will happen to your assets? As a psychiatrist, the author presents various perspectives on how the projected 9 million elderly people living alone in Japan by 2040 can break free from the mindset of "not being a nuisance to others" and establish a soft landing in their relationships in the community, ways to address financial concerns, ways to improve their health, and ways to alleviate insomnia and anxiety that are common in elderly people living alone.
Even married couples must live as if they were living alone to be happy.
A book that teaches you the wisdom to live well in the latter half of life.
Living in Japan, where the population over 65 years old reaches 30%, I realized that there are many elderly people living colorful and new lives.
He debuted as a poet in his 60s, held an exhibition as a painter in his 70s, frequented a used bookstore, and then wrote a book as a history expert.
Seniors are actively working to create a neighborhood where everyone can grow old happily together.
Japanese and Korean office workers' attire is similar, but retirees' attire is quite different.
Japan is more daring and provocative.
I think this is a result of individuality being more prominent because you don't have to worry about social perception.
An economic recession does not mean a recession in life.
A super-aging society with an average life expectancy of 90 years.
I think it's a gift that lets you show off your individuality and a chance to try something you've always wanted to do.
If you still have muscles and teeth, what can't you do?
This book teaches you how to live well alone in the latter half of your life.
In 2035, 10 years from now, our country's aging population will reach 30%, like Japan.
In our country, the population aged 65 and over has just surpassed 20%, but in Japan, that was the case in 2005.
In other words, today's Korea is 20 years ahead of Japan, and today's Japan is 10 years ahead of Korea.
Japan's social experience and wisdom are things we can put to use right away.
The two countries have similar living cultures, eating habits, family structures, and labor structures.
We should look at Japan's successes and failures in developing a super-aged society, emulate what worked well, and avoid what didn't.
This is called a model that allows us to experience the future sociologically.
In that sense, this book contains wisdom for the later stages of life that can be experienced in advance.
Whether you live alone or with someone, there are countless future wisdoms written down that you can take to heart, such as, ‘Enjoy your alone time and loneliness will disappear,’ ‘Goodbye to work-related encounters,’ ‘The joy of encounters without interests,’ ‘You shouldn’t treat others or get something for them,’ and ‘True frugality isn’t about being empty-handed.’
This book is like a navigation system that guides us to live wisely in a super-aging society.
Among the things you need to know when starting 'living alone in old age'
“You must become strong in the face of loneliness.”
The word 'loneliness' always has images of fear, hardship, and loneliness attached to it.
Some people even say they feel a sense of despair and tragedy.
But there's no need to be too scared.
The image of 'solitude = fear, silence and loneliness' is just an emotion that arises because we do not properly understand what loneliness is.
There is a proverb that says, 'The true identity of a ghost is a withered reed flower.'
The name Eulalia flower refers to the ear of Eulalia grass, and it means, 'I trembled in the middle of the night thinking it was a ghost, but when I looked closely, it was a withered Eulalia flower.'
Loneliness is the same.
Because we don't know what a lonely life is like and don't even try to understand it, we become convinced that it is scary and painful just from the image.
But when you actually start living alone, you'll realize that it's not much different from the life you've lived with your family.
If I had to point out a difference, it would be that I have more freedom in my life. The increased physical space means you might feel lonely at first, but you'll soon get used to it and it won't bother you at all.
As you know, Sun Tzu said, "If you know your enemy, you will win every battle."
It means, 'If you understand your enemies' abilities and situation well and understand yourself well, you can win no matter how many times you fight.'
If we replace 'enemy' here with 'solitude', it becomes a proverb about solitude.
Loneliness, if understood well, is 'nothing to fear.'
Seniors have a unique way of socializing.
“I used to say…”
The most ugly of the ugly
Participating in local activities and hobby groups will allow you to meet all kinds of people.
While good encounters can happen there, whether you'll have a good time together in the future really depends on first impressions.
One of the best times to get to know someone new is when you introduce yourself. What if you said something like this? "I worked for a large corporation, so I spent most of my time in Europe.
In the end, I worked as an executive director at the headquarters… 'First impression is the worst.
Needless to say, the other person will feel very uncomfortable with you.
Actually, the story I need to tell is about my current self living alone after retirement.
If you only talk about things that went well in the past, you will never make a good impression.
Moreover, it is really foolish to boast about your old position.
You must remember that you will only make yourself ugly and miserable.
“My name is △△ and I live alone in ○○-dong.
I've always wanted to try it, so I joined a Janggi (Baduk) club.
“I may be a little awkward, but I’ll be happy to help you.” A good meeting begins with a humble self-introduction like this.
Now that I'm retired, I need to change my mindset and make new friends, and I need to completely forget about the useless days of the past.
If that doesn't work, you won't be able to join any gatherings or groups and will end up being an outcast.
Let's live well with the money we have now
Spend money within your means
People's perceptions of money and their ways of using it vary greatly. Watch TV, read magazines, and see people bragging about their extravagant spending, while others boast about their lack of money.
In particular, it has become quite common these days to talk as if boasting about one's poverty, so we often hear things like, "My household budget is in the red every month, so I don't even want to write anymore" or "No matter how much poor people work tirelessly, their lives will never improve."
The problem is people who spend money beyond their means and those who show off.
There are many people who want to save face, live like celebrities, and show off.
In fact, there are quite a few elderly people who upload overly flashy photos and videos to social media in order to gain popularity online.
While it's sometimes okay to be the first to buy limited-edition items from stores that have become a hot topic in magazines or online, or to treat juniors and colleagues to a lavish meal, and enjoy a small sense of superiority, spending money solely thinking about "what will others think?" is less relatable.
Especially when you reach a certain age, it's a good idea to make purchases with your own planning and confidence, regardless of trends or price.
For example, even a scarf purchased on sale can look much better if you coordinate it with sense than buying a luxury item that costs hundreds of thousands of won.
If you learn how to dress well and have a good sense of style, even cheap items can be seen as 'good products', which can bring new joy to your life.
Don't be unnecessarily anxious
Let's live comfortably and complain tactfully.
"Oh my, I really don't want to talk to that old man anymore because he just keeps complaining." This is the most common criticism of the elderly.
Life is now in its twilight years, and living alone can cause a lot of resentment to build up inside.
But if all that comes out of your mouth is complaining, you're bound to get ostracized by people.
However, if you keep holding in loneliness, pain, and resentment and keep them inside your heart, your mood will become even more gloomy and you may even develop depression.
So what should we do? Rather than suppressing our inner resentment too much, it's important to sometimes vent our frustrations to someone in a clever way and find peace.
However, there are 'rules' that must be followed.
First of all, you must choose your opponent carefully.
It would be best if someone who knows my inner thoughts well, like an old friend, would listen to my complaints. If possible, it would be better if it was someone in a similar situation to me.
If the situations we are in are too different, it won't be easy for the other person to accept my feelings.
And one more 'thank you' is needed.
If I complained this time, I should think that next time I will have to listen to the other person's complaints.
Of course, there's no need to neatly switch roles, but if you're the only one complaining, the other person will think, "Hey, can you stop talking?"
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: February 5, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 248 pages | 374g | 140*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9788965023395
- ISBN10: 8965023394
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