Even if you're in pain, life doesn't stop.
Love today till the end!

Love and daily life even in the midst of leukemia
A touching story of a couple's struggle with illness that lasted until the end.

Even if you're in pain, life doesn't stop.
Love today till the end!

Love and daily life even in the midst of leukemia
A touching story of a couple's struggle with illness that lasted until the end.

Today is similar to yesterday, tomorrow is no different from today.
Daily life continues as if it were monotonous.

The meaning of 'daily life' is only realized after it has been lost.
From the moment a busy woman, mother, teacher, and wife, encountered illness, her daily life changed.
But strangely enough, the illness didn't stop life.
Even when I was sick, I still had to prepare meals, my child had to go to school, and the church still had its Mass schedule.
So, even in the bottle, daily life continued.
That's the first irony of this record.

Amidst the countless diagnoses and treatments, platelet counts, bone marrow tests, and words like sterile rooms, the still-existing "moments of life" quietly unfold.
From the first symptoms that I thought were just a cold, to the mass I attended without any problems, to the time I spent sewing my child's school uniform.
The disease has divided our daily lives, but it has not completely separated them.
Daily life with a sick body was slow and painful, but in it, love deepened and gratitude became clearer.

This book is not about death.
Rather, it is a story about people who struggle to reach out to life until the very end.
It quietly proves that records of everyday life can leave such a profound resonance.

Monday, April 17th
I went to Seoul St. Mary's Hospital with high expectations, but my numbers actually dropped.
The doctor said I needed to do a bone marrow test.
I decided to do the bone marrow test tomorrow since they said it could be done on days when the person in charge isn't around.
After the blood test results showed that my platelet count was only 26,000, I made an appointment to get a blood transfusion first and then do a bone marrow test.
--- p.50

I don't know about anything else, but doing something for Aran wasn't difficult at all.
Rather, I felt proud.
I feel like I'm doing something very meaningful.
Along with the regret that no matter what I do, I can't even keep up with other mothers.
Aran looked at me and just got into the car without paying attention, closed her eyes, reclined her seat, and fell asleep.
When my husband came home in the evening, I was sleeping.
I used to lie down and sleep under the pressure of having to work in the morning and rest in the afternoon.
After dinner, I folded the laundry my husband had hung up, watched the weekend drama World, and went into my room to sleep at 11 o'clock.
Ayoung came home late
--- p.100

However, they said that if the neutrophil count rose to 400 and remained that way tomorrow, I could be discharged.
I swept my chest.
I called my husband and he said he could come by 2 o'clock.
Of course, assuming the numbers don't drop, I felt somewhat relieved and ate a lot of chicken porridge for lunch.
And in the afternoon, I called MetLife and Dongbu Insurance to check the required documents, including three admission/discharge confirmation forms, and asked the nurse to do it for me.
Hanwha Life Insurance was left alone.
I’ll check it out when I’m admitted or discharged next time… .
But then suddenly the nurse said she had misspoken about the numbers.
The neutrophil count that was supposed to be 490 has now dropped to 360.
Are you kidding me? It's like heaven and earth to me, and my hopes of being discharged on the 11th have faded a little.
With the thought, ‘I’ve endured it until now…’
I asked my husband to help me with various things to prepare for discharge.
He said he could come by 2 o'clock.
I went to bed hoping that Tuesday would be the day I would be discharged.
--- p.150

Last night, I went to bed and it was getting cold, so I put on an extra coat and pulled the blanket over me.
I barely managed to fall asleep, but when I opened my eyes to go to the bathroom, it was only 11 PM.
The only difference from last night is that my nose is a bit runny and keeps running down my back.
When I breathe, my ribs hurt and when I blow my nose, a little bit of blood comes out.
This seems to be a typical symptom of pneumonia.
They say a new fungus has emerged.
--- p.200

I can't fall asleep early because I'm thinking about this and that, and at 5 a.m., nurses come and take my blood pressure, pulse, and temperature and tell me to talk.
I somehow managed to wake up at 8 in the morning.
My husband said he had a headache.
I was supposed to go to school today and send in a letter to the head teacher, but a lot of time had passed since I ate breakfast.
Yun Myeong-i slept for a long time.
Since today is the winter solstice, I decided to go to Bonjuk and buy some red bean porridge to eat.
My husband cleaned and Yunmyeong went shopping.
Yunmyeong doesn't come in until the house is cold because she's busy doing laundry.
Since Yunmyeong's cold wasn't completely cured, I ate on the sofa.
And he said he was going out to meet his friends.
I'm afraid I'll catch a cold.
After lunch, my husband went to school and left at 5:30 pm
I came back around 10:00 and made kimchi risotto for her.
It's not very healthy because it has butter and ham in it, but it makes it really tasty.
And then I went to the orphanage and brought Aran back.
It was already 8:30 pm.
I feel relieved because Aran came home today after a leisurely day at the choir festival.
After enjoying the kimchi risotto, I went into the room complaining of a scratchy throat.
It's past 11 o'clock and Yunmyeong hasn't come.
Now there are only two days left to stay at home.
--- p.250

I feel like today is much better than yesterday.
As the intensive care unit door opened, he looked towards the entrance as if to check if they had arrived.
Honey, I finished brushing my teeth… .
I thought I had improved a lot since I remembered that Aran had come yesterday and that Yunmyeong had visited me at lunch.
I knew he didn't have anything other than a feeding tube in his nose, but he was still using a urine tube.
I told him I didn't have a urine tube, and he asked me what was over there, so I looked and saw that the urine tube was down to the side, so I didn't know.
I was so happy to see a little bit of what it looked like when he wasn't in pain, as he smiled and said, "Well, that's just how it is."
When I told her I had visited my mother-in-law, tears welled up in her eyes and I was worried, but she seemed to be holding it in well because she knew she shouldn't cry.
It's so cold today that we started shortening classes today.
I had a 35-minute class, but they sent me home after the 5th period.
We sent a text message to parents saying that starting tomorrow, we will send it after the 4th period.
Just going out into the hallway, the cold wind is so strong… .
Today's white blood cell count is 14,800 and neutrophil count is 13,310.
It fell by about 1,000 compared to yesterday.
It was so high, I'm glad I fell.
My platelets were a little higher than yesterday at 15,000, but that wasn't enough, so I received 1 platelet and 2 red blood cell injections to raise my red blood cell count, which was 9.3.
--- p.300

Parking is really expensive.
After breakfast, I overheard the patient in the bed next to me talking about parking fees while preparing to be discharged.
The parking fees at this hospital are outrageous.
Some people say that they paid 970,000 won just for parking when they were discharged.
Yesterday, when I was admitted to the hospital, I briefly looked at the automatic checkout machine, but other than the 8-hour parking fee exemption upon admission and discharge, I couldn't see any mention of a discount for guardians of hospitalized patients.
After hearing the story today, I now understand.
So I hurriedly went out to get the car.
It said the parking fee to exit the building was 33,000 won.
So when I told them I was hospitalized yesterday, they told me to only pay 17,000 won.
The previous hospital set the fee at 10,000 won per day for guardians, but here it's set at 1,000 won per 10 minutes, and it doesn't seem like they'll give any discounts.
So I parked at the nearby Saetgang parking lot and walked up to the hospital, feeling like I had done a little homework.
--- p.350

I was on my way to work this morning when I got a call from the hospital.
I need to get an endoscopy, but I need a guardian's signature.
I have to do it today, so I'd like you to come sign it quickly.
But today, classes from 1st to 3rd period are back-to-back, so I said I'd go until 1 o'clock.
I arrived in a hurry after class and it was 12:30.
I rang the ICU doorbell and was told to wait until the doctor arrived.
So I pressed it again and looked at my face and said I would come out when I saw the doctor.
I was going out so I decided to watch it while I was there.
But now I see that evening visits are not allowed.
But I told you to do that anyway.
He said his whole body hurt.
I think it was because I put a lot of ointment on my eyes, but there was a lot of ointment on them.
After a while, the doctor came and signed the papers and I had no choice but to leave.
And as I was rushing back, I got another call.
I need to have a sleep endoscopy, but I didn't sign up for it.
So I said I would go tomorrow and just came back.
I have to go tomorrow morning too.
I made an appointment to meet with the doctor in charge of the infectious disease intensive care unit.
I thought you were supposed to have an endoscopy a while back, but I guess you couldn't because your neutrophil count was low.
I think I waited for the neutrophil count to rise because I had to remove any polyps if they were present.

--- p.400