“No more love that hurts me.
“Don’t fall in love, choose love.”

Shuhiga, a creator with 10 million insights and 880,000 followers
A true love story for those weary of love and breakups.

There are people who have always been sincere in love.
People who give as much as they like, humble themselves to be loved, and whose days go up and down depending on the other person's mood.

And then when the breakup comes, you think, 'Why did it end like this again?'
I'm busy blaming myself with thoughts like, 'Did I do something wrong this time too?'

Writer Shuhi, who has garnered much sympathy with her content for those in love, understands the hearts of those who have struggled with love better than anyone else.
"Don't Fall in Love, Be in Love" was written for those who were awkward in love, vulnerable to breakups, and experienced countless moments when their self-esteem hit rock bottom.

When you fall in love, things that were previously invisible begin to become visible when you 'choose' love.
This book speaks to people who have been hurt frequently in relationships.
Love is not about giving everything, it is also about protecting myself.
It's not about losing myself to look good to the other person, but rather about seeing each other as we are and growing together.

This book is not just a collection of relationship advice.
Attitudes towards love, how to protect yourself in a relationship, and even how to get back on your feet after a breakup… .
A journey of 'self-esteem recovery' centered on love is warmly depicted.
The author says:
“When you fall in love, things that were previously invisible begin to become visible.”

People who want to break free from the repetitive patterns of love,
A person who lost self-esteem due to the pain of a breakup,
And for everyone who wants to dream of love again, "Don't Fall in Love, Be in Love" will be the warmest and most realistic love lesson.

We have no reason to give up on love itself because of someone who has hurt us.
Right now, that person seems like everything to you, and the pain of separation feels so great and heavy, but one day, that person may just be a small dot that passed by.
So, I hope you don't give up on your precious love and don't forcefully block the upcoming relationship.
Your heart still sparkles and you are definitely capable of good love.
--- p.21

Bitter experiences help us make better choices and develop the ability to recognize good opportunities when they arise.
Life is different from school, and the learning process is never easy.
Life lessons are learned only by falling, bumping into things, and getting hurt.
So I would like to ask you a favor.
If things go wrong due to my mistakes or faults, I hope I don't blame myself for too long.
Because of that experience, I'm sure I'll be able to make stronger and wiser choices in the future.
--- p.36

After breaking up with someone I had been seeing for a long time, one day I suddenly wondered, 'Did I really date that person?' It all felt like a distant dream.
So I thought that the process of meeting and breaking up with someone was similar to waking up from a dream.
In dreams, there are many unrealistic and awkward parts, but at the time, we don't realize that they are strange.
Then, when I wake up, I finally realize, 'That was strange, that was nonsense.'

It's the same when you're in love and dating.
I didn't see the other person's shortcomings or the problems in the relationship properly, and only after breaking up did I vividly remember the flaws in my relationship, the hurt the other person gave me, and the strange moments.
Sometimes I even wonder why I ever liked that person.
But when we wake up, we don't necessarily hold on to that dream, whether it's good or bad.
The same goes for breakups.
Whether it was a good dream or a bad dream, you should eventually learn to let it go and say, "I had that kind of dream."
It's okay if you can't get it all out at once.
Just as some dreams linger for a particularly long time, some breakups just need a little more time.
--- p.59

It's ultimately my fault for staying with that person, knowing that he's hurting me, and losing myself.
I know too well how heartbreaking it is to not be able to let go even though you know it's not true.
So, it is human to experience everything until you wither and reach rock bottom.
Because we are beings who can only truly understand something by experiencing it firsthand.

Still, I hope you don't make choices that will wither you.
There will inevitably come a moment when you must make a courageous choice just for yourself.
If you, the person reading this, feel that moment has come, please find the courage.
I hope so.
Now is the time to be a little selfish and choose only for myself.
--- p.114

I often think that everyone has their own pace.
After torturing myself to death, I realized that we are all different and there is no need to judge ourselves by one standard.
Where is success and failure in love and life?
There is only a process to happiness.
The standard of happiness, the journey to that happiness, and the speed are all different for each person, so don't be too impatient and compare yourself to others.

Right now, you are going well enough at your own pace.
Just because it's a little slow doesn't mean it's wrong.
Eventually, you will arrive at your own path, at the place that is most like you.
--- p.140

It may seem a bit hopeless, but I believe that when I face difficult situations, they will ultimately lead me to a better direction.
So I always think, 'Why do I need this situation?' and 'How can I turn this into a good opportunity for me?'
Of course, at that time, it was difficult, painful, and just painful.
But once I persevered, as if it were a lie, I realized that the pain had made me stronger.

If you are having a hard time right now because you are stuck on a rock, I hope you think of it as a stepping stone that will ultimately make your life and love sweeter.
And next time the stone appears again, you can think about how to overcome it wisely this time.
If you keep going over the stones like that, life and love will one day reward you with sweeter and more fragrant fruits.

--- p.148