A new work by Lee Hwa-yeol, author of "A Day That Never Ends" and "Getting the Study Divorced"!
“On preserving dignity in the language of my life”

Montaigne said, 'Philosophy is learning to die.'
So how can we, the living, learn to take that last step that we can never reach?”

One day, author Lee Hwa-yeol hears that her mother-in-law, Arlette, has applied for assisted death at a Swiss assisted death agency.
"Quiet Resolution" is a book that records the three months spent preparing for farewell, from deciding to assist with dying to accompanying my mother-in-law on her final journey, and the sense of life awakened by death.


“A year ago, my mother-in-law chose assisted dying in Switzerland.
The decision was a huge shock, as it was neither terminal nor seriously ill.
(…) She put down her instinct to live in order to maintain the dignity of ‘humanity.’
“It was not resignation, but a conviction to remain true to oneself until the end.” _From the opening remarks

The author observes the journey of a being who wanted to remain himself until the end, and raises questions about the process of aging that gradually erodes the subjectivity of life and the dignity that must be preserved within it.
And he recorded in everyday language the aging and death that no human being can avoid.
Just as everyone's life is different, everyone's attitude toward death is also different.
For some, life is a 'desire not to die', but for others, death is 'the final sentence that completes life'.
When we are young, death seems like something that has nothing to do with us, so we are not interested in it, and as we get older, many people turn away from it out of fear.
But the author says that when we think about death, life becomes clearer.
It is also said that whether we prepare for death or not, we will eventually die the way we lived.
A foolish person should be foolish, a decisive person should be decisive.
We cannot know while we are alive whether death will be peaceful or painful, but that is why we must always think about death and prepare for it.


Author Lee Hwa-yeol, who expresses the 'philosophy embedded in life' in a simple and witty way, poses the questions 'How will we grow old and die?' and 'What is a life that maintains dignity without dependence?' in her seventh essay, 'Quiet Resolution.'
And through this, I ask the readers:
Is this the life I wanted?
How do you love and what do you want to leave behind?
How do I prepare for a breakup?
What kind of life is a life that leaves well?

After that day, Arlette said.
“I’m never going to the hospital again.” At that time, I had no idea what she meant by her firm tone.
I just thought of it as the stubbornness of a picky old man.
But that meant that he would not entrust himself to medical care and forcibly prolong his life.
It was a declaration of refusal to wait for death while tied to a device, a determination to remain true to oneself until the end.

--- p.30

“I am useless now.” Her kitchen, no longer able to bake pies, has lost its warmth.
Now she can't survive without a caregiver and a housekeeper.
Perhaps what is more frightening than death is watching yourself die a little bit every day.

--- p.32

People don't want to stay in front of the uncomfortable mirror of old age for too long.
We also forget that it has its own life and story.
He takes care of me like a child, but doesn't talk to me.
It may seem like consideration, but it's actually avoidance.
The simplest way to bring an older person out of a silent room is to make eye contact and ask a question.
People don't ask questions.
Without even being able to tell your own story properly.

--- p.61

Aid in death, literally, is the act of assisting a loved one in their death.
The mind tells us that we must end the suffering, but we cannot be completely free from the guilt of complicity in death.
What if Arlette had chosen to end her life alone, without this painful process, keeping all her time hidden within herself and leaving her loved ones outside?
The guilt and fear may have lessened, but the loss of being denied time together would have been greater.
This farewell practice is a painful and painful time, but it is comforting to know that we will be together until the end.
At least we have time to see them off.
--- pp.72-73

How we face death is not a question of who makes the decision, but rather how we accept it with peace.
Death is not the opposite of life, but another shadow of life.
Just as we welcome guests who may come at any time, we must live our lives preparing for death.
To borrow Zygmunt Bauman's ideas, accepting death is like 'taking the poison from the thorn of death.'
The way you accept death ultimately resembles the attitude you have taken toward life.

--- p.83

The reason why humans become alienated even from themselves may be because they have lost the ability to stop and exist.
Some silences are not empty, but filled with answers.
It's better to relax than to win.
Knowing how to hear silence, even as you become less sensitive to sound as you age.
How often have we stayed in silence?
I look at the sea of ​​clouds spread out beyond the window.
This life seems to be a journey that asks not what we leave behind, but how lightly we can leave it.

--- p.192