Complete understanding of love
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Description
Book Introduction
Humanities-Psychology Newsletter
5,000 cumulative paid readers
A reasonable choice for a YouTube channel with 150,000 subscribers
Daniel's First Essay
Why do I feel anxious the more I love?
If you want to love properly, you have to embody
5 Unchanging Love Skills
Daniel, an influencer with 150,000 subscribers, a newsletter writer with 5,000 cumulative paid readers, and an average repeat purchase rate of over 80%, has finally published his first book in print.
Drawing on the thoughts of Carl Gustav Jung, Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, and existentialist philosophers, he has provided insight and comfort to countless people. He has now written down stories that could not be fully captured on video.
"Understanding Love" contains realistic content essential to modern people who are tired of love, shaken by interpersonal relationships, and wandering, having lost themselves.
Why do we lose ourselves and cling to others when we fall in love? Why do delayed replies leave us feeling abandoned? Why do we constantly test and confirm our love even when we're in love? The author uses delicate and refined language to unravel the complex inner workings of modern people, who often distort love, and guides them to understand and recover their emotions.
This book is a strong companion on the journey from “me who wants to be loved” to “me who can love.”
If you've ever felt lost in a recurring pattern of emotions, this book will offer you the wisdom to pause, find your bearings, and get back on the right path.
5,000 cumulative paid readers
A reasonable choice for a YouTube channel with 150,000 subscribers
Daniel's First Essay
Why do I feel anxious the more I love?
If you want to love properly, you have to embody
5 Unchanging Love Skills
Daniel, an influencer with 150,000 subscribers, a newsletter writer with 5,000 cumulative paid readers, and an average repeat purchase rate of over 80%, has finally published his first book in print.
Drawing on the thoughts of Carl Gustav Jung, Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, and existentialist philosophers, he has provided insight and comfort to countless people. He has now written down stories that could not be fully captured on video.
"Understanding Love" contains realistic content essential to modern people who are tired of love, shaken by interpersonal relationships, and wandering, having lost themselves.
Why do we lose ourselves and cling to others when we fall in love? Why do delayed replies leave us feeling abandoned? Why do we constantly test and confirm our love even when we're in love? The author uses delicate and refined language to unravel the complex inner workings of modern people, who often distort love, and guides them to understand and recover their emotions.
This book is a strong companion on the journey from “me who wants to be loved” to “me who can love.”
If you've ever felt lost in a recurring pattern of emotions, this book will offer you the wisdom to pause, find your bearings, and get back on the right path.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Part 1: The Inconvenient Truth About Love: Falling in Love
Chapter 1: Things We Think Are Love, But They're Not
_The Hidden Meaning of the Pygmalion Story and Romance
_4 symptoms that 99% of people think are love, but are not
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
More than half of lovers break up like this.
Chapter 2: The First Things That Happen When You Fall in Love: Projection and Abstraction
When we fall in love, the first thing we do is project.
_The first cause that leads all human relationships to destruction
Pygmalionism, loving statues rather than people
_The blind spot of idealizing the other person
_A rose is not something that blooms all the time, but something that blooms and then falls.
When will the Renaissance of Love come?
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Common characteristics of people who make their partners leave
Chapter 3: The Second Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Invasion
Love that destroys everyday life is not love.
_The sooner you can say "I've changed" after dating, the better
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
A person who appears to be a good person on the outside but is dangerous on the inside
Chapter 4: The Third Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Possessiveness
_The impact of childhood memories on us
_How Attachment Styles Affect Love
Things that are easy to think of as love but aren't
_He who commands and he who obeys
_Modern people obsessed with possessions
Why Native Americans Live Happier Than City People
The Inconvenient Truth About Women Who Say "I Like Handsome Men Who Stay Home"
_Market exchange system, market relations system
_Characteristics of people who have unhappy relationships and marriages, no matter who they meet
_Characteristics of people who have happy relationships and marriages no matter who they meet
_Characteristics of people who seem like good people but are actually the most dangerous
_It's not about receiving and giving, it's about giving and receiving
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Things that are easy to think of as love, but in fact are not love
Chapter 5: The Fourth Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Identification
_The surprising reason why lovers choose to break up
_The purpose of parenting, the purpose of relationships
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Characteristics of people who shine more after marriage
Part 2: Being in Love
Chapter 6: Becoming a Good Dating Partner and a Good Parent
_Blue pills and red pills
_Blue love and red love
_The heart is painted red
Chapter 7: The Red Potion Against False Projection and Idealization
_Renaissance of Love
_If you ask me what love is
_How to set the right 'ideal type'
The most effective way to maintain a romantic relationship without arguments
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
99% of men and women do this when they are truly in love.
99% of couples break up because of 'this'
Chapter 8: Red Potion for Intrusive Thoughts
_The Prince on a White Horse, the girl in my dreams
_The little me and the big me
_It's okay if it's just okay
_The only difference between simple boredom and a breakup
_Developing solitude
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
The crucial difference between boredom and falling out of love
The most important criterion for determining a woman's worth
Chapter 9: The Red Potion for Wrongful Possessiveness
_Can you catch the flowing water?
Why women are more vulnerable than men in interpersonal relationships
_The love that is received too much is not love
_The only way to save yourself and your relationships
_Throw away the engine schematics
_Why does blue look blue?
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
What Attractive People and Stock Market Investors Have in Common
How to Maximize Your Self-Esteem and Life Satisfaction in Just 2 Weeks
Chapter 10: The Red Potion for Foolish Bonding
_Good parents, good people
_Individualization Task 1 Consistency
_Individualization Task 2: Not feeling betrayed by the other person's independence
_Individualization Task 3: Developing Patience for Growth
_Individualization Task 4 Resilience
_Personalization Task 5: Establishing Core Values
_Individualization Task 6: True Empathy
_Individualization Assignment 7 Just an okay person
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
The most important qualities of an ideal spouse
Three criteria to determine if someone is worth dating seriously
Chapter 11: If Love Had a Panacea
What is self-deception?
_The last prescription
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Characteristics of people who shine more after marriage
Chapter 1: Things We Think Are Love, But They're Not
_The Hidden Meaning of the Pygmalion Story and Romance
_4 symptoms that 99% of people think are love, but are not
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
More than half of lovers break up like this.
Chapter 2: The First Things That Happen When You Fall in Love: Projection and Abstraction
When we fall in love, the first thing we do is project.
_The first cause that leads all human relationships to destruction
Pygmalionism, loving statues rather than people
_The blind spot of idealizing the other person
_A rose is not something that blooms all the time, but something that blooms and then falls.
When will the Renaissance of Love come?
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Common characteristics of people who make their partners leave
Chapter 3: The Second Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Invasion
Love that destroys everyday life is not love.
_The sooner you can say "I've changed" after dating, the better
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
A person who appears to be a good person on the outside but is dangerous on the inside
Chapter 4: The Third Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Possessiveness
_The impact of childhood memories on us
_How Attachment Styles Affect Love
Things that are easy to think of as love but aren't
_He who commands and he who obeys
_Modern people obsessed with possessions
Why Native Americans Live Happier Than City People
The Inconvenient Truth About Women Who Say "I Like Handsome Men Who Stay Home"
_Market exchange system, market relations system
_Characteristics of people who have unhappy relationships and marriages, no matter who they meet
_Characteristics of people who have happy relationships and marriages no matter who they meet
_Characteristics of people who seem like good people but are actually the most dangerous
_It's not about receiving and giving, it's about giving and receiving
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Things that are easy to think of as love, but in fact are not love
Chapter 5: The Fourth Thing That Happens When You Fall in Love: Identification
_The surprising reason why lovers choose to break up
_The purpose of parenting, the purpose of relationships
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Characteristics of people who shine more after marriage
Part 2: Being in Love
Chapter 6: Becoming a Good Dating Partner and a Good Parent
_Blue pills and red pills
_Blue love and red love
_The heart is painted red
Chapter 7: The Red Potion Against False Projection and Idealization
_Renaissance of Love
_If you ask me what love is
_How to set the right 'ideal type'
The most effective way to maintain a romantic relationship without arguments
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
99% of men and women do this when they are truly in love.
99% of couples break up because of 'this'
Chapter 8: Red Potion for Intrusive Thoughts
_The Prince on a White Horse, the girl in my dreams
_The little me and the big me
_It's okay if it's just okay
_The only difference between simple boredom and a breakup
_Developing solitude
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
The crucial difference between boredom and falling out of love
The most important criterion for determining a woman's worth
Chapter 9: The Red Potion for Wrongful Possessiveness
_Can you catch the flowing water?
Why women are more vulnerable than men in interpersonal relationships
_The love that is received too much is not love
_The only way to save yourself and your relationships
_Throw away the engine schematics
_Why does blue look blue?
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
What Attractive People and Stock Market Investors Have in Common
How to Maximize Your Self-Esteem and Life Satisfaction in Just 2 Weeks
Chapter 10: The Red Potion for Foolish Bonding
_Good parents, good people
_Individualization Task 1 Consistency
_Individualization Task 2: Not feeling betrayed by the other person's independence
_Individualization Task 3: Developing Patience for Growth
_Individualization Task 4 Resilience
_Personalization Task 5: Establishing Core Values
_Individualization Task 6: True Empathy
_Individualization Assignment 7 Just an okay person
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
The most important qualities of an ideal spouse
Three criteria to determine if someone is worth dating seriously
Chapter 11: If Love Had a Panacea
What is self-deception?
_The last prescription
[Daniel's video content worth referencing]
Characteristics of people who shine more after marriage
Detailed image
Into the book
The reason we suffer in human relationships, the first cause that leads all human relationships to ruin, is 'my wrong expectations of others.'
False expectations about others are also a typical projection phenomenon.
--- p.49
Having excessive expectations and fantasies about something is a sign of immaturity.
Conversely, the more specialized and skilled you are at something, the less expectations you have about it.
--- p.54
Falling in love and putting aside your own work and easily ruining your daily life is not a desirable attitude for maintaining a steady love.
To truly love, you must be able to respect not only the other person's daily life and growth, but also your own daily life and growth.
--- p.75
If love requires someone to completely lose themselves, then it is not true love.
--- p.91
A person who doesn't know how to give everything he has will never get the chance to be with someone he wants for a long time.
--- p.110
The purpose of all human relationships is not 'oneness' but growth as a better individual, a more mature independent being.
--- p.119
Before you can even think about what you want to receive, you must first define what you can contribute to the person you desire.
--- p.148
The first step to becoming an adult is to accept that things are just okay.
That's the beginning of loving you, me, and our relationship.
--- p.163
Adults should be able to become independent from their parents and become their own parents.
The ability to become a mother and father to others, and to become one's own parent, is what Carl Gustav Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, called "growth" in its true sense, and he defined it with the expression "individuation."
--- p.199
Love is an inner journey that begins with getting to know you and ends with getting to know myself.
False expectations about others are also a typical projection phenomenon.
--- p.49
Having excessive expectations and fantasies about something is a sign of immaturity.
Conversely, the more specialized and skilled you are at something, the less expectations you have about it.
--- p.54
Falling in love and putting aside your own work and easily ruining your daily life is not a desirable attitude for maintaining a steady love.
To truly love, you must be able to respect not only the other person's daily life and growth, but also your own daily life and growth.
--- p.75
If love requires someone to completely lose themselves, then it is not true love.
--- p.91
A person who doesn't know how to give everything he has will never get the chance to be with someone he wants for a long time.
--- p.110
The purpose of all human relationships is not 'oneness' but growth as a better individual, a more mature independent being.
--- p.119
Before you can even think about what you want to receive, you must first define what you can contribute to the person you desire.
--- p.148
The first step to becoming an adult is to accept that things are just okay.
That's the beginning of loving you, me, and our relationship.
--- p.163
Adults should be able to become independent from their parents and become their own parents.
The ability to become a mother and father to others, and to become one's own parent, is what Carl Gustav Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, called "growth" in its true sense, and he defined it with the expression "individuation."
--- p.199
Love is an inner journey that begins with getting to know you and ends with getting to know myself.
--- p.201
Publisher's Review
Why are we lonely even when we love?
Daniel's own starting from this question
Intense reflection and solid insight
Interest in love, romance, and marriage remains strong, to the point where recent low marriage and birth rates pale in comparison.
This is proven by the fact that any YouTube channel that uses 'love' or 'relationship' as a keyword gets 2-3 times more clicks and views.
But just because humans are interested in and like love doesn't mean they're good at it.
Most people want to love, but they have trouble finding love.
This is because many modern people do not understand the principles of love and the dynamics of human relationships.
99% of people mistake it for love
Four Signs of Emotions That Aren't Love
When you meet an attractive person and fall in love, your heart races.
We too easily idealize others, spend all day thinking about them, and even feel the need to monopolize them.
Furthermore, they even have an irrational desire to identify with themselves and the other person.
The problem is that when the other person doesn't meet our expectations or we become accustomed to them over time, we often mistakenly think, 'Oh, I don't love that person anymore.'
Or, some people who want to possess love beyond material things, as if they want to lock the other person in their own safe.
Even though I don't feel happy that the person is locked in my safe.
To those who try to possess love and distort relationships by falling into the illusion of emotions, the author quietly offers the wisdom to look at love again with understanding rather than obsession, and with respect rather than identification.
Are you a person who loves (Have) or a person who loves (Do)? Was it love I wanted, or was it an emotion that confines people? The author's questions force us to reconsider that boundary.
The repeated hurt is not because of 'that person'
It might be because of 'my feelings'
Many books on the subject of love focus on 'how to be loved'.
But this book raises the question, 'How to love?'
"Understanding Love" deals with "how to give love well," and further, "how the parties involved can love well."
It explains how to become a person who gives love to others, rather than how to be loved by others.
By learning this, you can establish a clearer self-identity and become firmly rooted in the various human relationships surrounding you.
The author talks about a mature person who exists fully in love, rather than a person who loses himself through love.
It quietly reminds us that love is not an emotion that is completed through others, but an emotion that begins only when we understand ourselves.
This book will be an essential guide for those who want to love without pain in an age where love is difficult.
Daniel's own starting from this question
Intense reflection and solid insight
Interest in love, romance, and marriage remains strong, to the point where recent low marriage and birth rates pale in comparison.
This is proven by the fact that any YouTube channel that uses 'love' or 'relationship' as a keyword gets 2-3 times more clicks and views.
But just because humans are interested in and like love doesn't mean they're good at it.
Most people want to love, but they have trouble finding love.
This is because many modern people do not understand the principles of love and the dynamics of human relationships.
99% of people mistake it for love
Four Signs of Emotions That Aren't Love
When you meet an attractive person and fall in love, your heart races.
We too easily idealize others, spend all day thinking about them, and even feel the need to monopolize them.
Furthermore, they even have an irrational desire to identify with themselves and the other person.
The problem is that when the other person doesn't meet our expectations or we become accustomed to them over time, we often mistakenly think, 'Oh, I don't love that person anymore.'
Or, some people who want to possess love beyond material things, as if they want to lock the other person in their own safe.
Even though I don't feel happy that the person is locked in my safe.
To those who try to possess love and distort relationships by falling into the illusion of emotions, the author quietly offers the wisdom to look at love again with understanding rather than obsession, and with respect rather than identification.
Are you a person who loves (Have) or a person who loves (Do)? Was it love I wanted, or was it an emotion that confines people? The author's questions force us to reconsider that boundary.
The repeated hurt is not because of 'that person'
It might be because of 'my feelings'
Many books on the subject of love focus on 'how to be loved'.
But this book raises the question, 'How to love?'
"Understanding Love" deals with "how to give love well," and further, "how the parties involved can love well."
It explains how to become a person who gives love to others, rather than how to be loved by others.
By learning this, you can establish a clearer self-identity and become firmly rooted in the various human relationships surrounding you.
The author talks about a mature person who exists fully in love, rather than a person who loses himself through love.
It quietly reminds us that love is not an emotion that is completed through others, but an emotion that begins only when we understand ourselves.
This book will be an essential guide for those who want to love without pain in an age where love is difficult.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: June 16, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 252 pages | 128*188*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791194507192
- ISBN10: 1194507190
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