This is a full-fledged 'exploration of old age' essay by author Kim Dal-nim, who was raised by her grandparents from birth, and began with love for those closest to her and those she most wanted to understand.
After seeing off his grandparents, the author speaks courageously to the many elderly people living with him, as if looking at two people.
I want to get to know you.
I want to hear your story.
While they all waved their hands and said they had nothing worth telling, the stories of those who showed every corner of their lives mostly flowed in 'unexpected' directions, but each time, he came to know.
I've been waiting for this story for a very long time.


"Unexpected Friendship" is a letter from Kim Dal-nim to us who have a shallow understanding of the older generation, a narrow-minded hatred for them, and a vague love for them.
After reading this book, which “superimates the time of ‘old age’ with our past, present, and future,” our love for the world we live in will become stronger.

One truth we always forget and live with.
Life is finite for everyone, and as long as we live, we all become old.
But just as it is difficult to think about death in the midst of an ordinary day, it is also difficult to realize that we are the 'parties to aging'.
Old age always seems like a distant story, and it's usually a dark topic that brings to mind loss and death.
It is a fear that makes you look away before you can look properly.
However, as one 83-year-old teacher I met in an interview said, if old age is not simply the days leading up to death, but “the days of living as myself to the end,” then I also wanted to envision my own old age in detail.
I hoped that in the coming days, the darkness and light I had counted would coexist, and that I would obtain a flashlight that would not allow me to wander in the darkness.
--- p.12 From the "Prologue"

“As I get older, I have to live my life in a way that makes me happy.
Otherwise, sad things would have happened.
If you do that, you will quickly lose your vitality.
But for now, I like it because I feel like I'm living by creating my own energy.
Actually, I didn't have a talent for studying since I was young.
Instead, I made sure to do what I wanted to do by working twice or three times harder than others.
Rap is like that too.
I will do it until the end, whether I am eighty or ninety.
Then wouldn't something be possible?"
--- p.38 From “If passion is gone, it’s not rap”

The teacher added:
These days, I'm increasingly afraid that everything will end when I close my eyes, but it's always life, not death, that holds me more powerfully.
The only thing I want to do is to live each day with gratitude, starting with the day I open my eyes.
When asked how he could have such a heart, the teacher told him a joke and a prayer.
This is the joke that sounded like the truth.

“It’s okay when you get old.
“As you get older, life becomes more precious.”
--- p.60 From “What a Friendship Taught Me”

I liked the story of Hongja and Oksun because it was a story of them both finding new existences in their old age.
It was nice to learn that old age isn't about inevitably losing things that are precious and familiar to me, but that even then, new friendships and joys that make me laugh out loud are born.
I'm happy to see a friend greeting me from afar.
I stroked her hair that was starting to turn white, still thinking she was cute.
They make eye contact from time to time and plot a scheme that only the two of them know about.
Just because the rice cookers are the same, they laugh out loud.
Look closely at the heels of your friend's shoes when no one is looking.
I felt the time of old age, which I had pictured many times before, dawning brightly.
I always wanted to keep that brightness by my side.

--- p.72 From "Hiya and Jane"

Whenever I feel aggrieved by my old age, I think of the nature I have seen in the mountains over the past 30 years.
When spring comes, round leaves sprout on the stiff branches, and in summer, they grow lush and vibrantly, but in winter, everything withers and returns to bare branches.
That's not a shabby thing.
That before winter there was autumn, summer, and spring.
It's a very natural flow in nature.
That way, new things can be born and the forest can continue.
Think about it.
What if all life lived like summer?
Nothing lasts forever.
So I live my life comforting myself by telling myself that my life is also in a flow and that there is nothing to be upset about.
--- p.83 From “Practice of Living as Myself to the End”

“Author….
How should I live now?”
I still vividly remember the words Yunja carefully spoke to me that day.
This is what eighty asked thirty-seven as if talking to himself.
How should I live now?
At that moment, I was speechless for a moment, not knowing what to say.
It's amazing that I still ask this question at eighty.
Because I felt so lost in the mind of an eighty-year-old that I couldn't understand it just by guessing.
I knew it wasn't a question that required an answer from me, but I wanted to say something that would give her some strength.
To do that, I needed to have the heart to carefully count the time I had not yet lived.
In 40 years, when I am 80 years old, what would I most like to hear?

--- p.116 From “How Should We Live?”

As you get older.
At some point you'll know.
If I don't do this now, I may never be able to do it again.
When you're young, you think there will be plenty of opportunities for you.
You don't even know how precious the position you're in right now is.
But when you get older.
It's rare to get the chance to try something.
No one is interested in me anymore.
So, when the opportunity comes, give it a try.
If not then, when else would I ever get to dance in front of people?
I'd like to receive some applause.
You said you've never danced in front of people before, right? I don't have the courage to do it now.
Someday I will dance.
Then don't hesitate and dance happily.

--- p.178 From "I Will Dance"

I thought about it as I read the record again.
As Yunja said, I think people ultimately need someone to share these small stories with.
Stories so trivial that I can only tell them if someone is curious about me.
The rice noodles I had at the local restaurant I visited for the first time today were so delicious.
Or maybe you only realized you were wearing mismatched socks after getting on the bus.
Or maybe the cafe I frequent has started offering sweet red bean porridge as a seasonal menu item.
The evening breeze was particularly nice, so I took a long detour.
When I share these trivial daily life experiences with those close to me without hesitation, I feel that what I really want to share is 'my life' like this.
Because life is too big and too loose for me to figure out my existence alone.

--- p.200 From "I'm doing well"