One day, everything in my life changed when I was diagnosed with nine months left to live.

“As I read, crying and laughing, I suddenly feel grateful for life.

“Somewhere in the world, this person is alive and writing these words, and I am alive to read them.”
Recommended by author Hwang Seon-woo!

“There is no reason or time to despair and be sad that life did not turn out as planned.
“If there is nowhere to go back to, just move forward.”

One day in his late 30s, while on the path to career success, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given nine months to live. During chemotherapy, it was discovered that the cancer had metastasized to his lungs, forcing him to undergo surgery.
This is a calm record of an author who, in the midst of heavy anxiety and fear, chose to live without wasting a single day as life flowed in a direction he could not have even imagined.

The author, who realized how precious the ordinary daily life that he had been running fiercely for was, decided to faithfully fill each moment of his still uncertain life.
Although it is far from perfect, I will accept the present as it is, naturally and comfortably, and, leaving behind any regrets about the past or anxieties about the future, I will do my best to live happily in the present.
The author, who discovered more important values, more precious people, and ways to be happier while going through a dark tunnel-like time, celebrated his 40th birthday a few days ago, something that seemed impossible.

I didn't know that I, who seemed like I would live forever, would die.
At least at the age of thirty-seven, I knew absolutely nothing.

--- p.15

After saying goodbye to people and saying, "See you tomorrow!", I didn't return to work for a year.
Because just before I left home to go to work the next day, I got a call from the doctor.
“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but your life is about to change.”
(I'm sorry to bring you bad news.
Your life will undergo a big change in the future.)
The world I knew was erased without a trace.

--- pp.21-22

There are relationships that create the best synergy when things are going well, there are relationships that offer a silver lining when the world falls apart, and there are countless other relationships that fall between those two points.
As we approach death, the brightness of our relationships begins to become instinctively apparent and clear.
I was able to understand my true feelings about human relationships.

--- p.38

Whenever I look at my mom's kimbap, I smile at how consistent it is.
Looking at the overfilled kimbap that had burst, I barely remembered that even though I was at the bottom, I was the one receiving this much love.

--- p.45

The reason why unhappiness without reason is difficult is not simply because it is physically difficult or mentally difficult.
The reason why unhappiness without reason is difficult is because the world's principles that I have truly believed in while living up to now are shattered.
Because the foundation that supported my life was shaken, I developed extreme distrust of the world.
It is a pain of a different dimension than simply being physically sick or feeling upset.
At the decision my body made to kill me, I felt an indescribable anger and emptiness throughout my body.

--- pp.54-55

Life betrayed me again without a second thought.
This time it was truly the ultimate betrayal.
Can I forgive you?

--- p.57

I was so completely lost in death that I couldn't tell if I was afraid of death, or if I was fascinated by it, or if I was curious about it.
Death has completely taken hold of me.
I have never felt such an overwhelming and powerful pressure in my life.

--- p.58

"For the past 30 years, when I've treated countless patients in this situation, I've always tried to skip straight to the last chapter of the book.
I just want to know what kind of ending awaits me in the last chapter of the book.
But there are so many different stories and narratives leading up to that final chapter.
I can give you statistics on endings, but endings aren't the only thing that matters.
If you still want to know, I'll tell you.
“Do you want to know?”
--- p.59

And I realized one thing.
What was most unbearable during the past ten days of hell wasn't the fact that the cancer had metastasized, or the fact that my survival rate was so low, or the fact that I had to undergo more horrific treatments.
What I couldn't stand most was my attitude of being consumed by fear and completely giving up on life.
The fear spread through my body faster than cancer.
I hated myself more than cancer for being so irresponsible toward the life I had left.

--- p.64

Just because there's a set ending doesn't mean you can't choose.
The decision to accept one's given fate and live life to the fullest, regardless of the ending, is also a choice.
This choice is the least I can do for the life I have lived, and it is my responsibility.

--- p.64

I didn't want to waste another day in fear.
Death can kill me only once, but fear can tear me to pieces thousands, tens of thousands of times.
That's why it's important to respond to fear.
It's important to decide what choices you will make about your fears.

--- p.65

There are always people around who need comfort.
I want to comfort people by saying that no matter how strong they are, it's okay to cry when things get tough.
No, rather, I want to tell you that you have to put aside your strength for a moment and cry wholeheartedly to become strong again.
Since it's not a fight where you win or lose, I want to console myself by saying that just finishing the race is the best I can do.
I want to tell you that even if it's not the ending you want, I will be with you until you face that ending.

--- pp.76-77

I think that maintaining a flexible and diverse range of human relationships is the most natural way, even if it isn't perfect.
I need someone to crawl under my covers and whisper in my ear, and I need someone to watch me from afar and wave occasionally.
I need people who know me best, but I also need people who don't know me at all.

--- p.83

I know full well that there may be no end.
As I acknowledged that, my life, which had been at a standstill for a moment, began to flow again little by little.

--- p.93

For dinner, the four of us - my husband, mom, dad, and I - gathered at home and ate together. It was the only time during the day when we could talk and not be locked in our own world.
I laughed sometimes, but not often.
If my world were to end tomorrow, the three most important people would be these.
These three people were soon to become my world, and the world I had to cling to was not outside, but in front of this dining table.
The universe is not something far away, it has always existed before me.

--- p.103

I now know that there is no going back to the way things were.
The old me no longer exists.
The path I must walk from now on is one that no one has ever walked before.
There is no data, no answers, and no map.
A permanent orbital deviation has occurred.
But, that's okay.
If you can't go back, just move forward.
All I have to do is shake off the inertia of my long-established orbit and create a new one.
There is no reason or time to despair and be sad that life did not work out as planned, imagined, or hoped, or that it went off track.
If there's nowhere to go back to, just move forward.
It's simple.

--- pp.112-113

The launch of a mobile money transfer service utilizing the telecommunications company's authentication system allowed a flower seller at the market to open an account for the first time in her life.
Farmers no longer have to resort to exorbitant interest rates on private loans, thanks to the launch of a microloan service leveraging data from telecommunications companies.
Technology has presented a better future.
I wouldn't have had this experience if I hadn't chosen Plan B.
This made me want to get closer to technology, and that's how I completely changed my career to technology.
Plan B gave me a passion to advance the world through technology.

--- p.
148

The experience of being alone gave me a greater sense of liberation than I expected.
The moment I accepted that the world could go on just fine without me, I realized, in reverse, that I could live without being swept away by the world.
In the end, I realized that only I can evaluate my life.

--- p.159

At work, I'm a little busier than usual the day before the physical.
I send an email with a note of things that need to be done without me in case I can't return to work.
I also talk to my team members about longer-term issues and give them more long-term direction.
I try to tell more heartfelt stories in case there are people I may not see again.
I leave work after focusing my eyes on every person, object, and space for a long time, just in case it's the last time.
I now know all too well how the world I knew could come to an end in an instant.
I said a quick 'see you tomorrow' and didn't return to work for over a year.
That's why, the day before my checkup, the air I breathe becomes a little sharper, but I feel a little warmer.

--- p.
172

Ironically, the future was taken away in the 4th generation.
The moment the end of the future is in sight, thinking about the future becomes meaningless and regretting the past becomes meaningless.
It became important to just have the best time possible, with the person in front of me, and doing what I can.
(Omitted) Only after losing the future, can I live in the present.

--- p.183

Now I have a lot less fear of failure.
So what if it fails a little?
Rather than failing without trying anything, I'd rather try something and fail miserably.
Even if we fail, we will still celebrate and buy the most expensive champagne.

--- p.186

Choices always have a price.
That's why it becomes more important to decide what I will give up than what I will gain.
As I approach forty and look around, I find that surprisingly, the most unfortunate people are not those who have nothing, but those who cannot give up anything.
--- p.226

I have nothing to lose since I'm going to die anyway.
Well, what else can I do but die?
The burden of a lifetime that had weighed me down has disappeared, leaving only the essence.
So only the most important things remained with me.
Only then did I realize.
I'm not preparing for death for the last time, I'm living for the first time.

--- p.236

Curiosity about life rather than fear of death.
The meaning of life rather than resistance to death.
Energy towards life rather than anger towards death.
The greatest irony of my life is that the moment you accept death, real life begins.
In the end, every day since I wrote the will was a bonus and a gift.
And living well and dying well are ultimately the same story.
--- p.237

I want to tell you that even if you can't overcome it, you can still make choices.
I want to tell a story that even if the ending is set, the path to that ending is infinite and interesting.
I want to tell you that even if Plan A fails miserably, we have Plan B.
I want to tell you that if you can't go back, you have to move forward.

--- pp.239-240