Bestselling author with 3.8 million readers,
Nam In-sook's Psychological Essay from YouTube's Adult Growth School, with 20 Million Views

“I realized that people have different problems that they are really struggling with.
“It was the solution to the relationship.”

When we talk about counseling, people usually think of relationship and career issues first, but in reality, what people worry about most often and deeply are relationships.
Because while love and career issues are independent, relationship issues are issues that affect your entire life.


I don't have a single friend. This year, my birthday passes without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. Is this okay? What's going on with my friend, who always comes to see me but never opens his wallet? I want to be close to people at work, but why does everyone keep their distance from me? Because I'm perceived as being tactless, I hesitate no matter what I do. Can I ever cultivate tact?

The new book, "Nam In-sook's Adult Class," contains solutions to relationships that allow us to protect ourselves while being considerate of others when faced with interpersonal problems that have become even more difficult and complex as adults.
“Even as an adult, there is no end to what you can learn, and the process itself makes your life better.
Just as growth hormones are secreted even in people who have finished their growth period, and they become the source of health and vitality, the collection is enriched with illustrations drawn by the author to match the text.

This book contains solutions to relationships that I gradually came to realize long after I became an adult.
In the book, I appear to be a tutor guiding those who send me their stories, but in reality, I also appear in the questions.
Even as an adult, there is no end to what you can learn, and the process itself makes your life better.
Just as growth hormones are secreted even in people who have finished their growth period, they become the source of health and vitality.
No matter what stage of life you start, learning and improving is always possible.
In a difficult world, relationships with people are more difficult than anything else.
---From the "Prologue"

We tend to choose places and gatherings where relationships can be formed, but the relationships themselves are not the object of our will.
If you live well in your role within the organization or environment you belong to, such as school or work, relationships will be created.
However, people who are very awkward in relationships tend to search for potential 'friend candidates' and then, once they find one, they become absorbed in achieving their goal.
I call them 'relationship hunters'.
Relationship hunters take this hunting-style relationship for granted because they are not used to the natural way of forming relationships.

---From "Am I a Relationship Hunter?"

A friend is simply someone you want to meet and spend time with.
Time is the most precious thing in life, but I am a person who wants to waste it without any clear benefit.
You don't have to like every aspect of the other person.
That can't be possible.
If you like one or two aspects of someone and their other flaws don't bother you too much, we can be friends.
Contrary to popular belief, life can be worth living just with this level of relationship.

---From "Is it okay to live a life without a single friend?"

People say they feel several times more emotional pleasure when they make others happy than when they benefit themselves.
Even just being in a space like a cafe without talking to other people releases serotonin.
There are even studies that show that simply having a stranger hold your hand can actually reduce the amount of pain you feel.
Some even interpret the fact that people are so easily hurt by interpersonal relationships as evidence that they are as important as survival.
Because the pain the human body feels is a powerful signal to protect that part.

---From "How to Become a Person Who Doesn't Thirst for Human Relationships"

When you feel that the other person has misunderstood your meaning, it is very helpful in communication to check and correct it on the spot.
If you don't do that, you'll end up being labeled with prejudice, and from then on, even meaningless words will continue to be interpreted negatively, which will easily lead to the accumulation of negative feelings.
---From "A slip of the tongue, a stone thrown carelessly at a frog"

Work is not a place you should go with the intention of making friends.
That's because the workplace is a place where you have to stay for a living.
The combination of a relationship of friendship, which presupposes no conflict of interest, and a workplace, which is the background of one's livelihood, is contradictory from the start.
We are bound to encounter points of conflict in our interests and relationships that are difficult to compromise.
Many people remember that conflict as an experience that made them feel disillusioned with humanity.
---Among “the people you spend the most time with, your coworkers”

I've seen data that rates the degree to which people are stressed.
According to the data, the number one type of stress that people feel is when they are rejected by others.
This is worse than being on a battlefield in combat.
Efforts to avoid this situation cannot be unnecessary.

---From "How do you develop a sense of humor?"