You are stronger than you think
 |
Description
Book Introduction
A new work by Jeon Mi-kyung, author of the best-selling book "Don't Hurt Me" To you who are trapped in a vicious cycle of bad psychological habits The Psychology of Liberation as Told by a Psychiatrist Psychiatrist Jeon Mi-kyung, author of the best-selling book “Don’t Hurt Me,” has returned with her new book “You Are Stronger Than You Think.” In an era of self-esteem craze, he presented a new perspective on self-esteem by raising the topic of "fake self-esteem," and now he has published a self-help book that will help you break bad psychological habits and bring about changes in your life. "You Are Stronger Than You Think" is a book for people who habitually blame themselves, regret, ruminate on their wounds, and torment themselves with complex thoughts such as worrying about things that will never happen. The author diagnoses that patients who come to the hospital with depression and anxiety are ultimately suffering from mental pain due to excessive thinking. Only those who think less about themselves, do not regret the past, and do not worry about the future in advance can become comfortable and happy. This book guides people who are stuck in thoughts that are making them suffer and unable to do anything to move and take action in their real lives. If you read this book, you will realize. You are stronger than you 'think'. |
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index
Prologue: A Truth I Learned in the Psychiatric Clinic
Part 1.
How to Break the Chains of Self-Torturing Thoughts
: To you who suffer from self-reproach, regret, and excessive self-pity
- Happy people focus less on themselves.
- People who only think and cannot move
- You must fill your own deficiencies.
- Nothing is solved by chewing over the wounds.
- When my anxiety is ruining the things I hold dear
- Freeing Yourself from Over-Immersion: The Power of the Observer's Perspective
- If you live well in the present, the past becomes powerless.
Part 2.
Only by becoming mentally independent can you become strong.
: For those of you who want to take control of your life
- Some giving up is more beautiful than any challenge.
- When faced with an important choice, think only of 'this'.
- The art of flexibility that brings peace of mind
Introverts, be individualistic.
- There is no such thing as an 'inevitable life'.
- Only by having values can you be free in life.
- Characteristics of a person with a well-formed ego
- If you only look into other people's lives, you lose yourself.
Part 3.
Mental Skills That Make Life Easier
: To you who are trapped in a vicious cycle of bad psychological habits
- A psychiatrist's realistic advice for those with glass mentality
- The power of a person who does not expect favors from others
- For people who often feel sad
- If you feel anxious, go outside and run.
- The secret of those who find balance no matter how much they are shaken
- What we regret most when we die
- Protect yourself from gaslighting
- Why do we crave recognition and affection?
Part 4.
Life is about resolving painful relationships.
: To you who have the most difficulty with interpersonal relationships
- Why can't I let go of a toxic relationship?
- Successful people don't struggle with interpersonal relationships.
- My criteria for 'cutting off' people
The Real Reason You Drift Away from Your Close Friends as You Get Older
- Life is fun when you meet people like this.
- The desire to control others is hell.
- You have the right not to understand others.
Part 5.
Get out of your head and live your real life.
: For you who want to live a fun life connected to the world
- How to free yourself from the emptiness of life
- Empathy also requires practice.
- Meet someone who expands your world.
- The things that change one thing you love so much
- Enjoy life
Part 1.
How to Break the Chains of Self-Torturing Thoughts
: To you who suffer from self-reproach, regret, and excessive self-pity
- Happy people focus less on themselves.
- People who only think and cannot move
- You must fill your own deficiencies.
- Nothing is solved by chewing over the wounds.
- When my anxiety is ruining the things I hold dear
- Freeing Yourself from Over-Immersion: The Power of the Observer's Perspective
- If you live well in the present, the past becomes powerless.
Part 2.
Only by becoming mentally independent can you become strong.
: For those of you who want to take control of your life
- Some giving up is more beautiful than any challenge.
- When faced with an important choice, think only of 'this'.
- The art of flexibility that brings peace of mind
Introverts, be individualistic.
- There is no such thing as an 'inevitable life'.
- Only by having values can you be free in life.
- Characteristics of a person with a well-formed ego
- If you only look into other people's lives, you lose yourself.
Part 3.
Mental Skills That Make Life Easier
: To you who are trapped in a vicious cycle of bad psychological habits
- A psychiatrist's realistic advice for those with glass mentality
- The power of a person who does not expect favors from others
- For people who often feel sad
- If you feel anxious, go outside and run.
- The secret of those who find balance no matter how much they are shaken
- What we regret most when we die
- Protect yourself from gaslighting
- Why do we crave recognition and affection?
Part 4.
Life is about resolving painful relationships.
: To you who have the most difficulty with interpersonal relationships
- Why can't I let go of a toxic relationship?
- Successful people don't struggle with interpersonal relationships.
- My criteria for 'cutting off' people
The Real Reason You Drift Away from Your Close Friends as You Get Older
- Life is fun when you meet people like this.
- The desire to control others is hell.
- You have the right not to understand others.
Part 5.
Get out of your head and live your real life.
: For you who want to live a fun life connected to the world
- How to free yourself from the emptiness of life
- Empathy also requires practice.
- Meet someone who expands your world.
- The things that change one thing you love so much
- Enjoy life
Detailed image
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Into the book
They try to find the cause of their emotions by looking back on the past that they can't even remember well.
Sometimes, when I accept the expert's interpretation that the reason I'm having such a hard time is because I didn't form a proper attachment with my parents as a child, I feel as if a big question in life has been answered.
Now that I've found the cause, I think things will get better.
But strangely enough, I'm still stuck in the past again.
It's like someone invisible is controlling the head and limbs, like a marionette puppet.
I know in my head that I have problems with my interpersonal relationships, but I always end up meeting bad people and having difficult relationships.
You can't escape from a gaslighting parent, either physically or emotionally.
---From "One Truth I Learned in a Psychiatric Clinic"
Hye-yeon's head is full of thoughts that start with 'me' and end with 'me'.
‘Will I be able to do well?’ ‘If things go wrong, it will be my fault?’ ‘What if someone blames me?’ All sorts of worries fill my head.
They are so focused on themselves that they have no ability to see the world from other people's perspectives.
Hye-yeon's standard for looking at the world is 'is it kind to me?' or 'is it not kind to me?'
Hye-yeon makes her own head complicated.
Once you start thinking incessantly, it consumes all your mental energy.
Negative thoughts feed on themselves by bringing about more negative thoughts.
---From "Happy people focus less on themselves"
“Teacher, why does my heart feel so heavy?”
“Will counseling help my anxiety go away?”
“I think you have a mental problem. Should I get treatment?”
People who are feeling down come to me and ask me this:
They consider themselves weak.
Believing that the painful times will pass if they fix their minds, they visit psychiatrists, subscribe to psychology YouTube channels, read psychology books, and search for various methods.
But there's something I realized while meeting patients in the clinic.
If you listen carefully, you will find that there are times when you need to fix the situation that made your heart suffer, rather than when you need to fix your heart.
Of course, many patients truly suffer from mental illness, but I also see many who are so consumed by their negative emotions that they ignore the real problems in their lives.
They are in a difficult situation because of a specific problem, but instead of actively trying to solve the problem, they just try to change their thoughts and feelings.
---From "People Who Just Think and Can't Move"
If you have a savior fantasy and are overly obsessive about others, you need to recognize that you have some kind of deficiency.
In humans, lack brings about a desire to fill that void.
When I feel that my lack cannot be filled by myself, I start to look to others.
I must fill my own deficiencies with my own strength.
Other people can never fill my shortcomings.
I am not anyone's savior, and others are not my saviors.
My savior is only me.
---From "Happy people focus less on themselves"
The end result of this endless cycle of thoughts is that I am an incompetent person with no control over my life.
This attitude towards life is linked to a feeling of helplessness, that I am not in control of my own life.
It is like a reed swaying in the wind. When the wind blows east, it sways east, and when the wind blows west, it sways west.
Without a sense of ownership over my life, I become a slave and leave my fate in the hands of others.
The pattern of those who find it difficult because of endless thoughts is mostly like this.
Because your thinking is rigid, your thoughts flow in only one direction.
People who repeat these patterns cannot possibly have the drive to create a better future.
---From "The Art of Flexibility that Brings Peace of Mind"
When the ego is well formed, interest in meaningless human relationships disappears.
Even if I get criticized, I don't care if my actions are in line with my beliefs, and I make independent and self-directed decisions.
They have strong self-confidence and strive to live according to the beliefs and values they pursue.
However, people who have not differentiated themselves do not have their own content because they have not achieved mental independence.
Because I don't have my own perspective, values, or judgment, I just use other people's perspectives, values, and judgments.
It is living life thinking that other people's things are your own.
Life is empty and I don't know why.
I can't explain to myself what kind of person I am.
Because I leave my life to others, I always feel anxious and have to watch what others think.
---From “Characteristics of a Well-Formed Ego”
People who are always in need of attention and affection attach great significance to the small favors shown to them by others.
Suran, who did not receive proper affection and care as a child, decided to marry her boyfriend, who bought her cold medicine and abalone porridge when she had a cold.
Growing up, I saw my father neglect his family, drink alcohol, cheat on his wife and abuse his family. So I thought that if he didn't drink and went to work diligently, he would be a good husband.
In other words, you don't find good people 'because they are good at something', you find good people 'because they don't do something'.
I don't think that people who work hard at self-actualization, take care of themselves, find the strengths of those around them and encourage them, and have a positive influence on those around them are good people.
Because I have never seen people who were good examples in my life.
---From "The Power of a Person Who Does Not Expect Favor from Others"
Jiyoon can't let go of her friends even though she knows they are using her.
They fear that their lives will be lonelier without them, and that if the relationship is broken, they will never meet such friends again.
Many people stay in relationships for this reason, even though they know it is harmful to them.
I can't break off the relationship even though I know the other person is not a good person for me.
What Jiyoon doesn't know is that selfish people like A and B are easier to meet than you think.
The real challenge is meeting people who give me positive meaning.
---From "Why Can't I Let Go of a Toxic Relationship?"
I think the ultimate goal of people who feel the emptiness of life should be 'Homo Jaimekus'.
The stage of Homo funicus is not simply a process of pursuing fun.
At this stage, we identify our own desires and, in the process of pursuing them, we come to know who we are.
What do I live for? What are the values and meaning of my life? Let's find out what we like and pursue.
When the meaning of life you pursue and the direction you want to take are aligned, you can enjoy the ultimate happiness as a human being.
Also, once you know what you like and what you pursue, you will be able to say 'NO' firmly.
Because I actively choose what I want to do, I can answer with “like” or “dislike”, or “I want to do it” or “I don’t want to do it.”
The answer “I don’t know” disappears on its own.
Sometimes, when I accept the expert's interpretation that the reason I'm having such a hard time is because I didn't form a proper attachment with my parents as a child, I feel as if a big question in life has been answered.
Now that I've found the cause, I think things will get better.
But strangely enough, I'm still stuck in the past again.
It's like someone invisible is controlling the head and limbs, like a marionette puppet.
I know in my head that I have problems with my interpersonal relationships, but I always end up meeting bad people and having difficult relationships.
You can't escape from a gaslighting parent, either physically or emotionally.
---From "One Truth I Learned in a Psychiatric Clinic"
Hye-yeon's head is full of thoughts that start with 'me' and end with 'me'.
‘Will I be able to do well?’ ‘If things go wrong, it will be my fault?’ ‘What if someone blames me?’ All sorts of worries fill my head.
They are so focused on themselves that they have no ability to see the world from other people's perspectives.
Hye-yeon's standard for looking at the world is 'is it kind to me?' or 'is it not kind to me?'
Hye-yeon makes her own head complicated.
Once you start thinking incessantly, it consumes all your mental energy.
Negative thoughts feed on themselves by bringing about more negative thoughts.
---From "Happy people focus less on themselves"
“Teacher, why does my heart feel so heavy?”
“Will counseling help my anxiety go away?”
“I think you have a mental problem. Should I get treatment?”
People who are feeling down come to me and ask me this:
They consider themselves weak.
Believing that the painful times will pass if they fix their minds, they visit psychiatrists, subscribe to psychology YouTube channels, read psychology books, and search for various methods.
But there's something I realized while meeting patients in the clinic.
If you listen carefully, you will find that there are times when you need to fix the situation that made your heart suffer, rather than when you need to fix your heart.
Of course, many patients truly suffer from mental illness, but I also see many who are so consumed by their negative emotions that they ignore the real problems in their lives.
They are in a difficult situation because of a specific problem, but instead of actively trying to solve the problem, they just try to change their thoughts and feelings.
---From "People Who Just Think and Can't Move"
If you have a savior fantasy and are overly obsessive about others, you need to recognize that you have some kind of deficiency.
In humans, lack brings about a desire to fill that void.
When I feel that my lack cannot be filled by myself, I start to look to others.
I must fill my own deficiencies with my own strength.
Other people can never fill my shortcomings.
I am not anyone's savior, and others are not my saviors.
My savior is only me.
---From "Happy people focus less on themselves"
The end result of this endless cycle of thoughts is that I am an incompetent person with no control over my life.
This attitude towards life is linked to a feeling of helplessness, that I am not in control of my own life.
It is like a reed swaying in the wind. When the wind blows east, it sways east, and when the wind blows west, it sways west.
Without a sense of ownership over my life, I become a slave and leave my fate in the hands of others.
The pattern of those who find it difficult because of endless thoughts is mostly like this.
Because your thinking is rigid, your thoughts flow in only one direction.
People who repeat these patterns cannot possibly have the drive to create a better future.
---From "The Art of Flexibility that Brings Peace of Mind"
When the ego is well formed, interest in meaningless human relationships disappears.
Even if I get criticized, I don't care if my actions are in line with my beliefs, and I make independent and self-directed decisions.
They have strong self-confidence and strive to live according to the beliefs and values they pursue.
However, people who have not differentiated themselves do not have their own content because they have not achieved mental independence.
Because I don't have my own perspective, values, or judgment, I just use other people's perspectives, values, and judgments.
It is living life thinking that other people's things are your own.
Life is empty and I don't know why.
I can't explain to myself what kind of person I am.
Because I leave my life to others, I always feel anxious and have to watch what others think.
---From “Characteristics of a Well-Formed Ego”
People who are always in need of attention and affection attach great significance to the small favors shown to them by others.
Suran, who did not receive proper affection and care as a child, decided to marry her boyfriend, who bought her cold medicine and abalone porridge when she had a cold.
Growing up, I saw my father neglect his family, drink alcohol, cheat on his wife and abuse his family. So I thought that if he didn't drink and went to work diligently, he would be a good husband.
In other words, you don't find good people 'because they are good at something', you find good people 'because they don't do something'.
I don't think that people who work hard at self-actualization, take care of themselves, find the strengths of those around them and encourage them, and have a positive influence on those around them are good people.
Because I have never seen people who were good examples in my life.
---From "The Power of a Person Who Does Not Expect Favor from Others"
Jiyoon can't let go of her friends even though she knows they are using her.
They fear that their lives will be lonelier without them, and that if the relationship is broken, they will never meet such friends again.
Many people stay in relationships for this reason, even though they know it is harmful to them.
I can't break off the relationship even though I know the other person is not a good person for me.
What Jiyoon doesn't know is that selfish people like A and B are easier to meet than you think.
The real challenge is meeting people who give me positive meaning.
---From "Why Can't I Let Go of a Toxic Relationship?"
I think the ultimate goal of people who feel the emptiness of life should be 'Homo Jaimekus'.
The stage of Homo funicus is not simply a process of pursuing fun.
At this stage, we identify our own desires and, in the process of pursuing them, we come to know who we are.
What do I live for? What are the values and meaning of my life? Let's find out what we like and pursue.
When the meaning of life you pursue and the direction you want to take are aligned, you can enjoy the ultimate happiness as a human being.
Also, once you know what you like and what you pursue, you will be able to say 'NO' firmly.
Because I actively choose what I want to do, I can answer with “like” or “dislike”, or “I want to do it” or “I don’t want to do it.”
The answer “I don’t know” disappears on its own.
---From "How to Be Free from the Emptiness of Life"
Publisher's Review
“Get out of your thoughts and live your real life.”
For those who feel heartbroken because they think too much
Psychological prescription from a psychiatrist
In 2022, Jeon Mi-kyung, author of “You Are Stronger Than You Think,” lost both of her parents.
My father, who had been struggling after being diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, passed away, and not long after, my mother also passed away from a cerebral hemorrhage.
The manuscript for this book was written when the author was going through the greatest mental hardship of his life.
Coincidentally, the theme of the book was what I wanted to say to myself back then.
Because the symptoms of the patients in the book were similar to his condition at the time.
At that time, the author lost interest in everything in the world, and he hid under the covers, fighting the countless thoughts that were flooding his mind.
My body became limp like water-soaked cotton and I lost all emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
I felt regret for forcibly bringing up unfilial memories and reproaching myself for not being able to attend my mother's brain scan and my father's endoscopy on time.
I was angry at myself for not having done anything right, either as a daughter or as a doctor.
As a psychiatrist, he was devastated when he experienced many of the same symptoms as his patients.
The patients he meets have three common symptoms.
First, they constantly ruminate on their past and wounds.
They attribute their suffering to some past event, giving their life a narrative and wallowing in self-pity.
Second, I delve into my own problems by thinking about why my heart is struggling.
The more I dig into why I'm so depressed and anxious, the more depressed and anxious I become.
Third, I feel a great sense of emptiness, as I don't know why I am living.
It is a state in which the ability to find meaning and value in life has been lost.
Hye-yeon, whose mind is constantly spinning, thinks of herself as a failure.
I didn't get into the university or company I wanted, and I've never had a stable relationship.
When anxiety strikes, I search for the cause and where in my life things went wrong.
When I was young, my working parents left me with my grandmother for about a year, and I think that's when I started having trouble forming attachments.
I was bullied in middle school, and I think my life may have gone awry since then.
Hye-yeon is unable to escape the past and lives trapped in it.
It also brings back memories of an unhappy past rather than a happy one, and brings back feelings of guilt, inferiority, anger, and shame.
(Excerpt from the text)
They know in their heads that they have problems with interpersonal relationships, but they inevitably end up meeting bad people and having difficult relationships.
You can't escape from a gaslighting parent, either physically or emotionally.
The most common thing patients say is, “I know it in my head, but it’s hard to put it into practice.”
The thoughts and emotions in my head are taking over my body, so I have lost the power to lead my life.
What's needed at times like this isn't to delve into your emotions, bring out the wounded child inside you, and comfort him, but to turn off the switch of excessive thinking and actively resolve your psychological discomfort.
Of course, it is never easy in a situation where the mind is very weak.
However, one truth that writer Jeon Mi-kyung discovered through diligently observing the lives of her patients is that humans have the psychological capacity to boldly break bad psychological habits.
You too can change enough
Humans are beings who can change with a strong mind.
Thinking too much about 'me' makes our lives unnecessarily unhappy, and the habit of judging situations with emotions and the worries and concerns we foster by worrying about the future prevent us from moving forward.
We search for and read psychology books to find out why we are anxious, find and subscribe to psychology YouTube channels, become immersed in human psychology, and become self-psychoanalysts.
But does this method really bring peace of mind? We've all experienced delving into our anxieties and sensitivities only to become more anxious and sensitive.
This book tells us that we can solve our psychological problems by taking initiative and taking control of the situation.
Only those who take control of their surroundings, take action, and move directly, rather than delving into their anxious, depressed, and sensitive selves, can break the patterns of life.
Patients who received clear instructions to break the cycle of thinking and take control of their lives changed significantly.
Someone who only brooded over a hurtful past can now envision their future and plan their next steps; someone who was gaslighted by their parents and lost the ability to make their own decisions found the courage to end a toxic relationship; and someone who once lamented the emptiness of life, wondering why they were living, found meaning and purpose in life and regained their will to live.
As Benjamin Franklin famously said, 'The real tragedy of life is not that we do not have enough strengths, but that we do not make full use of those we have.'
“What Hye-yeon needs is to practice thinking less about herself.
We often think that self-reflection is essential and that we can solve problems only by reflecting on our actions.
But mulling over thoughts doesn't lead to good solutions or make you a better person.
Rather, there are more cases where we end up wasting our emotions and energy on useless thoughts.
Because complex thoughts bring about complex emotions.
When your mind is full of yourself like Hye-yeon, negative thoughts naturally follow.
When I think about the past, I am filled with regret and self-reproach, and when I think about the future, I am filled with anxiety.
The more I try not to think negative thoughts about myself, the more they eat me up.
Let's let go of the idea that the thoughts that come into our heads have deep meaning or contain truth." (Excerpt from the text)
Psychiatrist Jeon Mi-kyung, who does not comfort people carelessly, says
Now, some real advice for people who really want to change.
"You're stronger than you think" doesn't pat people on the back for torturing themselves with bad psychological habits and tell them everything will be okay.
Author Jeon Mi-kyung's realistic and sober advice strongly tells us that the world is not that easy, and that we must live with a strong sense of purpose.
As you read this book, you will clearly see a clue that will help you break free from your anxiety and your past.
And finally, I will have a clear solution to take control of my life and the thoughts that run wild in my head and flow without a clue where to go.
Chapter 1 deals with how to break the cycle of self-destructive thoughts.
It offers a new perspective that helps you stop thinking too much about yourself, ruminating on past hurts, and worrying about a future that hasn't even happened.
Chapter 2 talks about how to become mentally independent, and Chapter 3 talks about how to manage emotions that make you feel difficult, such as self-reproach, regret, excessive need for approval, resentment, and anxiety.
Chapter 4 contains the most common advice on human relationships that I have given while working as a psychiatrist.
Chapter 5 deals with how to live a flexible and fun life connected to the world.
Once you've broken free from the chains of complicated thinking and discovered your hidden driving force, it's time to dive into life.
Humans live in an environment that is constantly changing dynamically, and they create their lives through the choices they make at each moment.
Depending on how you choose to live and with what attitude you approach the world, the world can become a place worth living in.
This book provides readers with definite encouragement, not vague comfort.
You too can discover your hidden psychological strengths, and you are stronger and braver than you think.
For those who feel heartbroken because they think too much
Psychological prescription from a psychiatrist
In 2022, Jeon Mi-kyung, author of “You Are Stronger Than You Think,” lost both of her parents.
My father, who had been struggling after being diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, passed away, and not long after, my mother also passed away from a cerebral hemorrhage.
The manuscript for this book was written when the author was going through the greatest mental hardship of his life.
Coincidentally, the theme of the book was what I wanted to say to myself back then.
Because the symptoms of the patients in the book were similar to his condition at the time.
At that time, the author lost interest in everything in the world, and he hid under the covers, fighting the countless thoughts that were flooding his mind.
My body became limp like water-soaked cotton and I lost all emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
I felt regret for forcibly bringing up unfilial memories and reproaching myself for not being able to attend my mother's brain scan and my father's endoscopy on time.
I was angry at myself for not having done anything right, either as a daughter or as a doctor.
As a psychiatrist, he was devastated when he experienced many of the same symptoms as his patients.
The patients he meets have three common symptoms.
First, they constantly ruminate on their past and wounds.
They attribute their suffering to some past event, giving their life a narrative and wallowing in self-pity.
Second, I delve into my own problems by thinking about why my heart is struggling.
The more I dig into why I'm so depressed and anxious, the more depressed and anxious I become.
Third, I feel a great sense of emptiness, as I don't know why I am living.
It is a state in which the ability to find meaning and value in life has been lost.
Hye-yeon, whose mind is constantly spinning, thinks of herself as a failure.
I didn't get into the university or company I wanted, and I've never had a stable relationship.
When anxiety strikes, I search for the cause and where in my life things went wrong.
When I was young, my working parents left me with my grandmother for about a year, and I think that's when I started having trouble forming attachments.
I was bullied in middle school, and I think my life may have gone awry since then.
Hye-yeon is unable to escape the past and lives trapped in it.
It also brings back memories of an unhappy past rather than a happy one, and brings back feelings of guilt, inferiority, anger, and shame.
(Excerpt from the text)
They know in their heads that they have problems with interpersonal relationships, but they inevitably end up meeting bad people and having difficult relationships.
You can't escape from a gaslighting parent, either physically or emotionally.
The most common thing patients say is, “I know it in my head, but it’s hard to put it into practice.”
The thoughts and emotions in my head are taking over my body, so I have lost the power to lead my life.
What's needed at times like this isn't to delve into your emotions, bring out the wounded child inside you, and comfort him, but to turn off the switch of excessive thinking and actively resolve your psychological discomfort.
Of course, it is never easy in a situation where the mind is very weak.
However, one truth that writer Jeon Mi-kyung discovered through diligently observing the lives of her patients is that humans have the psychological capacity to boldly break bad psychological habits.
You too can change enough
Humans are beings who can change with a strong mind.
Thinking too much about 'me' makes our lives unnecessarily unhappy, and the habit of judging situations with emotions and the worries and concerns we foster by worrying about the future prevent us from moving forward.
We search for and read psychology books to find out why we are anxious, find and subscribe to psychology YouTube channels, become immersed in human psychology, and become self-psychoanalysts.
But does this method really bring peace of mind? We've all experienced delving into our anxieties and sensitivities only to become more anxious and sensitive.
This book tells us that we can solve our psychological problems by taking initiative and taking control of the situation.
Only those who take control of their surroundings, take action, and move directly, rather than delving into their anxious, depressed, and sensitive selves, can break the patterns of life.
Patients who received clear instructions to break the cycle of thinking and take control of their lives changed significantly.
Someone who only brooded over a hurtful past can now envision their future and plan their next steps; someone who was gaslighted by their parents and lost the ability to make their own decisions found the courage to end a toxic relationship; and someone who once lamented the emptiness of life, wondering why they were living, found meaning and purpose in life and regained their will to live.
As Benjamin Franklin famously said, 'The real tragedy of life is not that we do not have enough strengths, but that we do not make full use of those we have.'
“What Hye-yeon needs is to practice thinking less about herself.
We often think that self-reflection is essential and that we can solve problems only by reflecting on our actions.
But mulling over thoughts doesn't lead to good solutions or make you a better person.
Rather, there are more cases where we end up wasting our emotions and energy on useless thoughts.
Because complex thoughts bring about complex emotions.
When your mind is full of yourself like Hye-yeon, negative thoughts naturally follow.
When I think about the past, I am filled with regret and self-reproach, and when I think about the future, I am filled with anxiety.
The more I try not to think negative thoughts about myself, the more they eat me up.
Let's let go of the idea that the thoughts that come into our heads have deep meaning or contain truth." (Excerpt from the text)
Psychiatrist Jeon Mi-kyung, who does not comfort people carelessly, says
Now, some real advice for people who really want to change.
"You're stronger than you think" doesn't pat people on the back for torturing themselves with bad psychological habits and tell them everything will be okay.
Author Jeon Mi-kyung's realistic and sober advice strongly tells us that the world is not that easy, and that we must live with a strong sense of purpose.
As you read this book, you will clearly see a clue that will help you break free from your anxiety and your past.
And finally, I will have a clear solution to take control of my life and the thoughts that run wild in my head and flow without a clue where to go.
Chapter 1 deals with how to break the cycle of self-destructive thoughts.
It offers a new perspective that helps you stop thinking too much about yourself, ruminating on past hurts, and worrying about a future that hasn't even happened.
Chapter 2 talks about how to become mentally independent, and Chapter 3 talks about how to manage emotions that make you feel difficult, such as self-reproach, regret, excessive need for approval, resentment, and anxiety.
Chapter 4 contains the most common advice on human relationships that I have given while working as a psychiatrist.
Chapter 5 deals with how to live a flexible and fun life connected to the world.
Once you've broken free from the chains of complicated thinking and discovered your hidden driving force, it's time to dive into life.
Humans live in an environment that is constantly changing dynamically, and they create their lives through the choices they make at each moment.
Depending on how you choose to live and with what attitude you approach the world, the world can become a place worth living in.
This book provides readers with definite encouragement, not vague comfort.
You too can discover your hidden psychological strengths, and you are stronger and braver than you think.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: March 3, 2023
- Format: Paperback book binding method guide
- Page count, weight, size: 256 pages | 404g | 140*204*17mm
- ISBN13: 9788901269238
- ISBN10: 8901269236
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