Get out of a painful relationship
A Compassionate Guide to Living as 'Me'

Jimin Seok, the author of the best-selling 『A Night to Ask How You Are』, chosen by 150,000 readers, and 『I Hate It When You're Sick』, which asks kindly how you are for the weary, has returned with a self-esteem essay! Since his debut, the author has received enthusiastic responses from readers with comments like, "I feel like all my hidden sadness has been discovered" and "It's like a book that cries on my behalf." In this new work, 『You Don't Need to Be Hurt by Anyone』, he emphasizes the "importance of an attitude of cherishing yourself" to readers who are lost between interpersonal relationships and 'me' with clearer and more solid sentences.

Author Jimin Seok moves between coolness and affection, strength and gentleness, offering realistic advice to help readers navigate their lives in a healthy direction, while also presenting a warm gaze that endlessly affirms and encourages readers who deserve support simply for living diligently in the present.
For readers who are swayed by the slightest words of others for fear of being hated, or who are too busy to care for their own hearts, the author's message, "Don't ignore your feelings and don't put off loving yourself," will resonate clearly.

While habitually putting yourself down may be a strategy for maintaining "smooth" relationships with others, it does nothing to help create "horizontal" relationships.
There are many who are always on the lookout for an easy-to-maneuver opponent.
The first target of such people is the person who calls himself 'eul' because he is thirsty for love.
To escape their net, you must not rashly reveal your lack of confidence and weakness.
--- p.33

If you think about it, jealousy is a natural and obvious human emotion.
There are people who don't show it, but humans are creatures who have evolved to instinctively admire and envy others in order to survive.
I gradually realized that if I could understand and manage the function of jealousy well, I could achieve explosive growth.
Instead of using jealousy to envy and bring down others, I was able to use it as a catalyst for my own development.
To use jealousy well, you had to avoid being consumed by it.
--- p.47

If you have a habit of looking for negative signals in what others say, you need to practice taking their words at face value.
If you notice negative signals, stop thinking about them and don't dwell on them.
If you start to suspect and judge everyone just because they made a sarcastic remark once or twice, you will end up lonely.
Even if someone expresses their dissatisfaction with you indirectly, you are under no obligation to 'know' what they mean.
It is the other party who has not been able to clearly convey their intentions that needs to change their way of expressing themselves.
He is just a timid person who wants to show his displeasure but does not have the courage to express his feelings honestly.
Just let the words you say slip away.
Don't take on that person's problems.
--- p.70~71

Don't let the saying, "Success is the best revenge" get to you.
Even the thought of achieving success and then seeking revenge is harmful and a waste.
My success is a happiness I deserve to fully enjoy, not a tool for revenge.
Even when I should be happy, thinking about my enemy only makes me feel bad.
When you find yourself unable to control your feelings of hatred and resentment toward someone, just remember this simple fact:
“I don’t hate you because you are precious to me.”
--- p.84

There are two basic principles I have in mind when dealing with conflict.
Once a conversation starts, I put aside my competitive spirit.
If you're obsessed with winning, you're more likely to end up feeling self-pity or exaggerating when explaining why you're upset, which can easily lead to the other person's resentment.
If you don't try to beat your opponent, your vision will broaden.
Because the purpose of the fight becomes clear, I can also look into my own heart more clearly.
To convey the essence clearly without leaving any emotional residue, you should avoid turning the conflict into a showdown where you either win or lose.
--- p.93~94

There is no logic in saying that you should accept an apology because the other person apologized first.
“You should have just apologized. How long are you going to keep being so cold?” These are just demands from a third party who wants to get over the situation.
Why should I accept everything just because the other person apologized when my feelings haven't calmed down yet?
Receiving an insincere apology only leaves you feeling uncomfortable.
If you're going to feel uncomfortable one way or another, choose not to accept the apology and let the relationship become awkward.
Even if you continue your relationship with such people, you are bound to run into problems due to the same issues.
--- p.118

Love is like the wind that rushes in when you open the window.
Just as the wind doesn't ask permission from the room, love doesn't ask permission to enter you.
Love is something that begins without my knowledge or will.
If you think about it, loving and caring for someone is truly a miracle.
No matter how expensive the gold and silver treasures are, you cannot buy someone's love.
A special feeling that cannot be exchanged for anything, that cannot be compared to any emotion, began to magically begin within me.
I hope you cherish that heart.
--- p.124

When your body becomes tired or your mind becomes complicated and your concentration is disrupted, your work efficiency naturally declines.
If you ever find yourself wondering, "Can I rest now?", let go of the guilt and consider today's rest as preparation for a more energetic tomorrow.
To walk a long way, you must know when to stop.
--- p.168

If I feel that they are jealous and envious of me, I just need to jump to the top and make them jealous and envious of me even more.
People who are busy putting others down are more likely to be feeling defeated and not taking care of themselves.
If I stop walking because I'm afraid of the words and actions of losers, I will just become a loser as they wish.
Aren't you different from them?

--- p.196~197