“Sometimes, give yourself the gift of time to meet me in silence.”

An essay by Monk Hyemin, which provided an opportunity to reflect on oneself through "Things You Only See When You Stop," and a deeper understanding of oneself, others, and the world through "Love for Imperfect Things."
This book, which can be considered the completion of the trilogy of monk Hye-min's guide to happiness, contains a message for modern people who are losing themselves in a busy, complex, and noisy world, wondering who they are and what they truly want to do.
It will be an opportunity to discover the inner desires that are revealed only when the mind becomes calm, to find the direction and values ​​of the life you truly dream of, or to heal from emotions and memories that have been suppressed for a long time.
As the author says, "Silence is the greatest gift I can give myself," this book will serve as a guide on the "path to myself" for those who want to find themselves.

I think that perhaps one of the reasons we feel so tired and worn out now is because we have lost the peace of our own lives.
Wherever I go, I hear the constant clamor of advertisements demanding attention, the constant news of accidents and incidents happening every minute, the honking of car horns here and there, the sound of construction work pounding and breaking, and the sound of people forcing their beliefs on me.
In addition, the cell phones we hold in our hands ring and text message notifications at all times.
Modern civilization seems to never allow our souls to rest for even a moment.
As a result, many psychological problems arise in us living today, and one of them is self-alienation.
I live my life with myself, but I live busy without knowing who I am or what I truly want.
Our attention is primarily directed outward, and we are so busy reacting to external stimuli that we just live without time to look into how we feel, what kind of life we ​​want to live, and what values ​​we want to pursue.
Because we constantly meet other people and rarely have time to meet ourselves.
--- p.7

Don't be too hurt if someone rejects you.

There may be a better relationship waiting for you.

It didn't turn out the way I initially wanted, but later I saw
Actually, there are many times in my life when I was very fortunate.
--- p.24

Modern people come into contact with a lot of information from outside sources as they live.
The reason we struggle is because we only react to this information.
Especially when using a smartphone, you can end the day just responding.
Don't just react and be led around; live a life where you make your own decisions and take the lead.
--- p.44

What I wish I could tell myself when I was a teenager:
There are things that are so difficult and important that I feel like I'm going to die right now.
Looking back, it was just a very small part of life.

It doesn't really matter what my friends say about me.

And there are many paths in life other than the one you are thinking of now.
It's okay to fail a little.
Life is longer than you think.
cheer up.


What I want to say to my 20-year-old self:
Try to relax a little more and be a little more honest.

Compare less and take it easy.

Thinking a lot doesn't mean your life will turn out the way you think.

Don't be afraid of the future, just enjoy your passion now.
Unexpected connections will arise.


What I want to tell my 30-year-old self:
Don't settle for small successes or comfort.

Find something to learn from others.

When looking at people, rather than their appearance such as academic background, family background, or specifications,
Look at the person's growth process, personality, sense of humor, and perseverance.

Stay close to nature and books, and exercise regularly.
--- p.51

While interpreting Thich Nhat Hanh's words, I also reflected on whether I had paid enough attention to the pain within me.
I began to wonder if I was just pretending not to know because I was busy, or if I was trying to forget the pain for a while by watching a movie or chatting with people.
Most people's minds are primarily directed outward.
As a result, we may not be accustomed to being able to delicately perceive the feelings within our body and mind.
But I must draw my attention outward and give it the warm spring sunshine of attention that I have within me.
Because that is the way to love yourself and to release the energy of suffering that has been building up in your body and mind, and to enter the path of fundamental healing.
--- p.57

When I went to the head monk's room, I saw a beautiful piece of calligraphy and painting he had recently written: "There are big, gentle hands protecting me."
When we are going through a difficult time, we may feel lonely and meaningless, as if we are thrown into the world alone, but that is not the case.
The world is not everything we see with our eyes.
Although it does not show itself outwardly, there is always the silent, awake Buddha nature that mercifully embraces all things that have form, or, for Christians, the God of love.
Please don't lose heart.

If you read this article and go to Mihwangsa Temple someday to have breakfast, you probably won't regret it.
The clear chirping of birds, the vibrant sounds of insects, the cool, clear morning air, and the soft ringing of bells throughout the temple grounds will help me recover.
As you enjoy the beautiful scenery of Mt. Dalma and the warm tea served by the head monk, your worries and anxieties will fade away like the sunset, and you will return to your true self.
--- p.126

When I'm with people, I want to be alone a little bit,
When you are alone, there comes a time when you want to talk
I want to be with someone.

So then our problem is that we are alone
It's not because there are a lot of people
When I'm alone, I hate being alone
When we are together, being together soon becomes uncomfortable
Could it be that it's a habit of the mind tossing and turning? --- p.223

Another is to 'accept the given situation as positively as possible.'
Before the retreat begins, the place to stay is usually decided by age group.
Older monks are given single or double rooms, while the general public live together in large rooms.
This fall, during the retreat, it was decided that, unfortunately, the monk right in front of me would be given a double room, and from then on, I would live together in the main room.
If you use your mind wrongly in this situation, you may be dissatisfied throughout the retreat.
But if you turn your mind quickly, you can find good things even in things that initially seem bad, and conversely, you can see bad things even in things that initially seem good.

After looking into it carefully, I found that there were many advantages to having multiple people share a room.
First of all, if I were to stay in a room alone, I would sometimes be so tired that I would miss the 3 a.m. prayer time because I couldn't hear the sound of the moktak (traditional Korean Buddhist prayer bell). But since I was staying with several people, I could sleep with peace of mind.
And there was the advantage of being able to know the announcements that were happening in the room most quickly and accurately, and even if a mosquito came into the room, if you were alone, there was a high chance of being bitten by a mosquito, but in a room where several people were sleeping, there was no need to worry so much.

--- p.236