If you are tired of human relationships
I don't know if I'm putting too much emotion into the conversation.

Why do we want to be good at speaking? Because we want to get along well with others.
Because I want to become friends with people I meet for the first time, because I want to be popular with many people, because I want to be respected by those around me, or because I don't want to seem like an easy person...
Specific desires may vary slightly, but ultimately the core is human relationships.

《Conversation Without Emotional Exploitation》 is aimed at people who hear, “I feel comfortable around you,” rather than people who hear, “Wow, you could be a con artist.”
To this end, we examine the psychology hidden in everyday conversations and provide appropriate conversation methods.
It shows, with examples, why silence with strangers is scary, how to say no without feeling uncomfortable, and how to say what you want to say without crossing the line, and makes you realize that a leader is someone who sets the tone even if they don't say much.

Author Lim Cheol-woong is an expert who pioneered the unique field of "psychological engineering" by combining psychology, engineering, and business education, and has conducted thousands of consultations and lectures.
Whether you're 'tired of talking too much' or 'lonely because you don't talk enough,' it will help everyone start a heart-to-heart conversation.

“It would be fun to become friends with this person.” Let’s say you go on a blind date and the person who introduced you says this.
If you think that this is a compliment that will be positive for you because it contains two positive words, 'friendly' and 'fun', you are very mistaken.
There are two problems with the above introduction.
The saying that it's fun once you get close implies that it's not fun now, before you become close.
Another is the very cowardly implication that you have to be proactive to get fun from your friends.
---From "Evaluation of being a fun friend once you get to know him"

Many people fear silence.
Because silence is a time of disconnection without communication.
It's okay to be silent when you're walking hand in hand or viewing an exhibition together.
Because even if we don't speak, we are not disconnected.
In a relationship of mutual trust, without fear of disconnection, silence is not something to be feared.
But we fear that if silence continues without fully knowing each other, the relationship will be severed or defined as distant.
---From "How to Bring Up Personal Stories Without Crossing the Line"

When changing the subject, be careful not to offend the people you were talking to.
For example, if you ask directly, “A, are you bored?”, it would be rude to B, who is currently talking, and it would be embarrassing for A.
Rather, “Since B, who is definitely an expert, is talking, there are a lot of new stories.”
It's a good idea to indirectly bring up the topic you want to change, like, "Hey A, you're in a completely different field. What are your thoughts?"
---From "A person who leads the atmosphere even though he doesn't talk much"

So, let's look at another example of a bad question: "How much research have you done?" Oh, I can already hear your hearts closing.
This is because the question may have adhered to the principles of negotiation, but it ignores the principles of dialogue.
The above question, which attempts to find out information about the other person out of the blue, is very difficult and burdensome to answer.
They also feel it is unfair to only give out their own information, and their hearts become closed due to the resistance to coercion.
---From "Why I Hate "How Much Did You Know?""

"Hey, that's really cool! Where can I get a bag like this?" This is both a question and a compliment.
A great advantage is that the other person can naturally accept the compliment while answering a question that is like a compliment.
You can also continue the conversation by using compliments as a topic.
However, in such cases, you must be able to actively listen to what the other person is saying and maintain the attitude you had when you first asked the question.
If not, the other person's pleasure from receiving praise may have the opposite effect of turning into unpleasantness.
---From "Be careful when praising someone's appearance"

As adults, we learn to restrain ourselves from doing things for others.
This causes the desire to speak in our hearts to be blocked by the dam of socialization.
Listening has the power to open that dam.
Let's take an example that's easier than the previous sentence: "Raising children is hard.
"It's definitely more difficult to raise children these days, isn't it?" What do you think? Even if I repeat the same sentence, I don't think it's strange to hear someone who's actually talking about the difficulties of raising children say something like this.
Rather, you will be happy to have met someone who empathizes with you and thinks like you.
---From "Reactions are more difficult than actions"

Many people try to learn body language to read others.
Because of this, people who learn it sometimes become aggressive and closed off.
It's an attitude worse than not knowing anything about body language.
The desire to see through others comes from fear.
They are afraid to open their hearts because they see the other person as an unknown entity or an enemy rather than a potential comrade.
But the reason we learn body language is to build relationships and understand each other better through it.
---From "Silence Speaks Too"

Convincing others is quite difficult.
Conversely, I also feel uncomfortable when other people try to persuade me.
Likewise, when you try to persuade others, there is discomfort in their hearts as well.
What exactly is the source of this discomfort? It's vigilance.
Persuasion is a battle against wariness.
If you can just break down their guard, you've already achieved half the success of persuasion.
The method of dispelling the guard is divided depending on whether or not the person is originally known.
---From "Order and Structure for Gentle Persuasion"

The most important thing in the four steps of demanding change is to remain unemotional and objective, even when expressing your feelings.
This is actually a simple task.
Just say it in the same tone you would normally use when making a request without any emotion.
For example, please read the following sentence:
"Can you pass me some tissues?" Simple, right? Just read the next sentence in the same tone you used in the previous sentence.
“You had plans to meet me last night, but you ended up working overtime without even calling.”
---From "Expressions that change others without saying anything unpleasant"

Even if you think you're usually articulate, do you often find yourself struggling to communicate with the opposite sex, or perhaps even feeling like they don't recognize your value? This may be due to nervousness, but it's also because the way you speak to the opposite sex differs slightly from your standard speaking style.
In this chapter, we will learn about how to talk to the opposite sex.
The most important thing to be successful in making a good impression is confidence.
If you have enough confidence, it will show in your attitude and words.

---From "To You Who Becomes a Clueless Person in Front of the Opposite Sex"