Raising a child who is slow to develop and has a busy mind
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Description
Book Introduction
Autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and borderline intelligence
Raising a child who is a little special
An Ordinary Mom's Struggles and Growing Up Diary
A parenting essay by an elementary school teacher and mother of three sons, calmly sharing the episodes and emotions she experienced while raising her second child, who has autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and borderline intelligence.
Author Jeong So-yeon, who seemed to be living a sparkling and happy life forever, said that after learning that her child was on the autism spectrum, “it felt like the toad house of my life suddenly collapsed.”
Although we face sudden despair and are sometimes crushed by a sense of victimization, we gradually come to accept our child's characteristics and even reach the point of hoping that our child, too, will have a role to play in this society.
The author's colorful emotions, alternating between frustration and hope, and the entire journey of enduring each day are fully captured in "Raising a Child Who is Slow to Develop and Busy at Heart."
The thought occurred to me, 'Let's give it a try.'
Let's face it head-on, without denying the new identity that suddenly emerged: 'mother of an autistic child.'
Let's try to get through this without mortgaging our lives to sadness or despair.
Let's accept the new variables presented to our lives with dignity, rather than premeditating them as a tragedy.
- “It’s not a tragedy, it’s a new variable!”
Although this may be a distant story for those living in this irregular and busy world, it resonates deeply with us because it honestly expresses even negative emotions without hiding them.
That is why it will provide empathy and comfort to parents raising children with disabilities, and to those who have not had the same experience, it will provide 'understanding of an unknown world' and inspiration.
As you read this book, you will find yourself rooting for Daon, a child with a slow development and a busy mind, and the author, her mother.
Raising a child who is a little special
An Ordinary Mom's Struggles and Growing Up Diary
A parenting essay by an elementary school teacher and mother of three sons, calmly sharing the episodes and emotions she experienced while raising her second child, who has autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and borderline intelligence.
Author Jeong So-yeon, who seemed to be living a sparkling and happy life forever, said that after learning that her child was on the autism spectrum, “it felt like the toad house of my life suddenly collapsed.”
Although we face sudden despair and are sometimes crushed by a sense of victimization, we gradually come to accept our child's characteristics and even reach the point of hoping that our child, too, will have a role to play in this society.
The author's colorful emotions, alternating between frustration and hope, and the entire journey of enduring each day are fully captured in "Raising a Child Who is Slow to Develop and Busy at Heart."
The thought occurred to me, 'Let's give it a try.'
Let's face it head-on, without denying the new identity that suddenly emerged: 'mother of an autistic child.'
Let's try to get through this without mortgaging our lives to sadness or despair.
Let's accept the new variables presented to our lives with dignity, rather than premeditating them as a tragedy.
- “It’s not a tragedy, it’s a new variable!”
Although this may be a distant story for those living in this irregular and busy world, it resonates deeply with us because it honestly expresses even negative emotions without hiding them.
That is why it will provide empathy and comfort to parents raising children with disabilities, and to those who have not had the same experience, it will provide 'understanding of an unknown world' and inspiration.
As you read this book, you will find yourself rooting for Daon, a child with a slow development and a busy mind, and the author, her mother.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Prologue _ A Child Living in Two Worlds
Chapter 1.
A child living in two worlds
A child who was a little different and had a particularly difficult time
It's not a tragedy, it's a new variable!
Finding Daon's therapist
Autism spectrum disorder + borderline intelligence + ADHD = a trifecta of despair?
be diagnosed with a severe disability
Actually, I was mistaken in thinking that he might be a genius.
Chapter 2.
How to live with a child on the autism spectrum
Between Peace of Mind and Pain, the World of Routine
Do you know delayed echo?
Whose house is the brick house?
Open your eyes to the outside world
Look up, the sunset is rainbow-colored
What do you want to do for a living when you grow up?
Chapter 3.
Mom, this is your first time in the world too.
Practicing living with a victim mentality
Psychiatric medication is like whack-a-mole
Raising a non-disabled child with a disabled sibling
Living as a tree with many branches
My child is also disabled, but I don't want him to hang out with other disabled children.
The lie that you love them just the way they are
Chapter 4.
A new world a child encounters
To be honest, can you accept my child?
A miracle named Teacher
The blessing of being called a friend
My child is a relay runner?
Sports Day for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders
Because moms are human and teachers are human too
Chapter 5.
To you, the precious ones who have been by our side
As we live, there are more difficult days than good days.
Such foolish sincerity
Why Grief Isn't Pain
I was able to live as a mother because I had a mother.
When you come home wearing those shoes
Epilogue _ What will I live for?
Chapter 1.
A child living in two worlds
A child who was a little different and had a particularly difficult time
It's not a tragedy, it's a new variable!
Finding Daon's therapist
Autism spectrum disorder + borderline intelligence + ADHD = a trifecta of despair?
be diagnosed with a severe disability
Actually, I was mistaken in thinking that he might be a genius.
Chapter 2.
How to live with a child on the autism spectrum
Between Peace of Mind and Pain, the World of Routine
Do you know delayed echo?
Whose house is the brick house?
Open your eyes to the outside world
Look up, the sunset is rainbow-colored
What do you want to do for a living when you grow up?
Chapter 3.
Mom, this is your first time in the world too.
Practicing living with a victim mentality
Psychiatric medication is like whack-a-mole
Raising a non-disabled child with a disabled sibling
Living as a tree with many branches
My child is also disabled, but I don't want him to hang out with other disabled children.
The lie that you love them just the way they are
Chapter 4.
A new world a child encounters
To be honest, can you accept my child?
A miracle named Teacher
The blessing of being called a friend
My child is a relay runner?
Sports Day for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders
Because moms are human and teachers are human too
Chapter 5.
To you, the precious ones who have been by our side
As we live, there are more difficult days than good days.
Such foolish sincerity
Why Grief Isn't Pain
I was able to live as a mother because I had a mother.
When you come home wearing those shoes
Epilogue _ What will I live for?
Detailed image
Into the book
He was right.
Whether or not he was diagnosed with autism, nothing changed for Daon.
Having a child on the autism spectrum wasn't a death sentence or a terminal diagnosis.
A new chapter called "rehabilitation" has been added to the realm of parenting, and new challenges have been thrown into our lives, but the essence remains unchanged.
What's the point? Daon is our son, and we have a responsibility to him.
We love our children no matter what they look like.
--- pp.26-27
Some parts of Daon's ability are sharp like the tip of a star, and some parts are sunken like the area between the two tips of a star.
What I'm going to do is not to carve off the tops to make smaller circles, but to fill in the hollows to make bigger circles.
Not to make Daon 'normal', but to enable Daon to live with others without losing his true self.
Although Daon's 'corner of the star' keeps him in his own world now, it may one day play a role in opening up a path for him in life.
I hope to become a star that draws a beautiful orbit with its own light along that path.
--- p.59
It finally occurred to me.
My child sometimes lives in a different world from me, but he is constantly trying to find commonalities between his world and his mother's world.
We will find more and more common ground.
We are not each running on our own parallel curves.
One drawing is enough.
Yes, just a 1 degree incline is enough.
So, no matter how late it is, no matter how long it takes, our world is getting closer.
--- p.95
Let me say I'm sorry for not being considerate of you.
After rolling and polishing the words with the tip of his tongue, he squatted down and brought his shoulders together with the child's.
In that moment, Dajun's tear-filled eyes and Daon's unfocused, clear eyes met at the same time.
My suppressed emotions burst out like a shaken, popped cola.
“Dajun, Daon… doesn’t have any friends outside of our family.
If you say you don't want to play with Daon too... Daon has no one to play with.
“For Daon… For Daon, there is no one else but us.”
I was going to say, 'Okay,' and that I'll only take you with me when I meet your friends from now on... but strangely, something completely different came out of my mouth.
Bad mom.
I am a bad mother.
--- pp.126-127
You did it.
You practiced so hard... and you finally did it.
How nervous he must have been.
How anxious must he have been?
It must have been hard to resist the urge.
But you overcame all that and did it.
As soon as Daon finished his turn, he stood on tiptoe and looked around for his mother.
Daon, who met my eyes, ran to his mother with a happy and proud expression, as if he had scored the winning goal.
The child's bright smile, the blue vest he was wearing, his arms outstretched toward me, his booming "Wow!" shout, the sight of him running toward me with confidence in his own success seemed to be in slow motion.
He held Daon in his arms and poured out countless words of love.
--- p.197
I thought.
The reason my sorrow is not pain and my misfortune is not misfortune is because of you.
We live a life that is too sad to be called frugal, but too sorry to be called poor.
Every day is like laundry that has been thrown into a washing machine, wrinkled and then ripped out again.
My share of labor never seems to lessen.
A life where I keep forgetting who I am, what I like, and what makes me happy.
Daily life with a slow child is a cycle of bending like a reed, crumpling like a newspaper, and crumbling like a fallen leaf.
Still, I can find happiness in it.
Because there is someone next to you who says, 'The gift I want to receive is your health.'
Whether or not he was diagnosed with autism, nothing changed for Daon.
Having a child on the autism spectrum wasn't a death sentence or a terminal diagnosis.
A new chapter called "rehabilitation" has been added to the realm of parenting, and new challenges have been thrown into our lives, but the essence remains unchanged.
What's the point? Daon is our son, and we have a responsibility to him.
We love our children no matter what they look like.
--- pp.26-27
Some parts of Daon's ability are sharp like the tip of a star, and some parts are sunken like the area between the two tips of a star.
What I'm going to do is not to carve off the tops to make smaller circles, but to fill in the hollows to make bigger circles.
Not to make Daon 'normal', but to enable Daon to live with others without losing his true self.
Although Daon's 'corner of the star' keeps him in his own world now, it may one day play a role in opening up a path for him in life.
I hope to become a star that draws a beautiful orbit with its own light along that path.
--- p.59
It finally occurred to me.
My child sometimes lives in a different world from me, but he is constantly trying to find commonalities between his world and his mother's world.
We will find more and more common ground.
We are not each running on our own parallel curves.
One drawing is enough.
Yes, just a 1 degree incline is enough.
So, no matter how late it is, no matter how long it takes, our world is getting closer.
--- p.95
Let me say I'm sorry for not being considerate of you.
After rolling and polishing the words with the tip of his tongue, he squatted down and brought his shoulders together with the child's.
In that moment, Dajun's tear-filled eyes and Daon's unfocused, clear eyes met at the same time.
My suppressed emotions burst out like a shaken, popped cola.
“Dajun, Daon… doesn’t have any friends outside of our family.
If you say you don't want to play with Daon too... Daon has no one to play with.
“For Daon… For Daon, there is no one else but us.”
I was going to say, 'Okay,' and that I'll only take you with me when I meet your friends from now on... but strangely, something completely different came out of my mouth.
Bad mom.
I am a bad mother.
--- pp.126-127
You did it.
You practiced so hard... and you finally did it.
How nervous he must have been.
How anxious must he have been?
It must have been hard to resist the urge.
But you overcame all that and did it.
As soon as Daon finished his turn, he stood on tiptoe and looked around for his mother.
Daon, who met my eyes, ran to his mother with a happy and proud expression, as if he had scored the winning goal.
The child's bright smile, the blue vest he was wearing, his arms outstretched toward me, his booming "Wow!" shout, the sight of him running toward me with confidence in his own success seemed to be in slow motion.
He held Daon in his arms and poured out countless words of love.
--- p.197
I thought.
The reason my sorrow is not pain and my misfortune is not misfortune is because of you.
We live a life that is too sad to be called frugal, but too sorry to be called poor.
Every day is like laundry that has been thrown into a washing machine, wrinkled and then ripped out again.
My share of labor never seems to lessen.
A life where I keep forgetting who I am, what I like, and what makes me happy.
Daily life with a slow child is a cycle of bending like a reed, crumpling like a newspaper, and crumbling like a fallen leaf.
Still, I can find happiness in it.
Because there is someone next to you who says, 'The gift I want to receive is your health.'
--- p.233
Publisher's Review
Parenting a child with autism: Aiming for the best, not the average.
Autism spectrum disorders are already well known through numerous media contents such as movies and dramas.
Stereotyped behavior (repeated actions with unclear meaning), restricted and repetitive interests, and self-imposed rules and routines.
Because of these characteristics, people with autism are often described as being 'locked in their own world.'
However, the world of Daon that the author experienced was not as frustrating as he thought.
The child lived in a world that was orderly, colorful, safe, and full of interesting things.
In the process, the child realizes that he or she is also trying to live in the same world as his or her mother.
My child is not trapped in his own world, but lives in two worlds.
So that's why I'm having a hard time in my world.
So, there is a lot to learn.
- From the 'Prologue'
And the author decides to think of the characteristics of the autism spectrum that Daon shows as Daon's unique identity, rather than as 'characteristics of a child with autism.'
Furthermore, I pledge to follow the development of my peers and aim to be the 'best' that Daon can be, rather than being 'average'.
That's because only then can you run a race without a finish line to the end.
Why sadness is not pain, and misfortune is not misfortune
The reason why I can ride to the child's treatment center every day, live a life of financial constraints, and experience emotional ups and downs without feeling any pain or unhappiness is because there are people who help Daon and the author.
In every moment of crisis, it was her husband who raised her up by advocating the saying, “A person should do what he has to do, and the rest is up to Heaven.”
Sometimes, there were mothers who did not offer any advice or criticism to authors who resented their children, but instead told them to “go and get some sleep.”
Even the author, an elementary school teacher, is impressed by the love and sense of mission of Daon's daycare teacher.
The therapist, my first child, my third child, my friends, my neighbors, and sometimes even Noel and Ant helped me.
Because there were good people around him, the author also decided to try to live as a 'good person'.
Because I realized that rather than hoping for happiness without a guarantee, that is the way to get closer to happiness.
It's like blowing dandelion seeds, spreading small acts of kindness everywhere in the world.
I hope that one of the countless flower seeds will travel around the world and land in my child's heart again.
- From “The Blessing of Friendship”
Happiness always ran through my fingers like sand or water, as if laughing at me.
But becoming a good person only required my will and effort.
My efforts to be a good person have not betrayed me.
Unlike being happy, I liked that being a good person was something that could be done under any circumstances if you put your mind to it.
Strangely enough, when I gave up on happiness, small happinesses bloomed like wild flowers.
- From 'Epilogue'
After reading this book, laughing at Daon's quirky charm and shedding tears at her family's efforts, a small dandelion seed may also settle in the hearts of readers.
Autism spectrum disorders are already well known through numerous media contents such as movies and dramas.
Stereotyped behavior (repeated actions with unclear meaning), restricted and repetitive interests, and self-imposed rules and routines.
Because of these characteristics, people with autism are often described as being 'locked in their own world.'
However, the world of Daon that the author experienced was not as frustrating as he thought.
The child lived in a world that was orderly, colorful, safe, and full of interesting things.
In the process, the child realizes that he or she is also trying to live in the same world as his or her mother.
My child is not trapped in his own world, but lives in two worlds.
So that's why I'm having a hard time in my world.
So, there is a lot to learn.
- From the 'Prologue'
And the author decides to think of the characteristics of the autism spectrum that Daon shows as Daon's unique identity, rather than as 'characteristics of a child with autism.'
Furthermore, I pledge to follow the development of my peers and aim to be the 'best' that Daon can be, rather than being 'average'.
That's because only then can you run a race without a finish line to the end.
Why sadness is not pain, and misfortune is not misfortune
The reason why I can ride to the child's treatment center every day, live a life of financial constraints, and experience emotional ups and downs without feeling any pain or unhappiness is because there are people who help Daon and the author.
In every moment of crisis, it was her husband who raised her up by advocating the saying, “A person should do what he has to do, and the rest is up to Heaven.”
Sometimes, there were mothers who did not offer any advice or criticism to authors who resented their children, but instead told them to “go and get some sleep.”
Even the author, an elementary school teacher, is impressed by the love and sense of mission of Daon's daycare teacher.
The therapist, my first child, my third child, my friends, my neighbors, and sometimes even Noel and Ant helped me.
Because there were good people around him, the author also decided to try to live as a 'good person'.
Because I realized that rather than hoping for happiness without a guarantee, that is the way to get closer to happiness.
It's like blowing dandelion seeds, spreading small acts of kindness everywhere in the world.
I hope that one of the countless flower seeds will travel around the world and land in my child's heart again.
- From “The Blessing of Friendship”
Happiness always ran through my fingers like sand or water, as if laughing at me.
But becoming a good person only required my will and effort.
My efforts to be a good person have not betrayed me.
Unlike being happy, I liked that being a good person was something that could be done under any circumstances if you put your mind to it.
Strangely enough, when I gave up on happiness, small happinesses bloomed like wild flowers.
- From 'Epilogue'
After reading this book, laughing at Daon's quirky charm and shedding tears at her family's efforts, a small dandelion seed may also settle in the hearts of readers.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: May 14, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 256 pages | 282g | 128*188*18mm
- ISBN13: 9791194508175
- ISBN10: 1194508170
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