If sadness were a disease, I would already be dead.
 |
Description
Book Introduction
Even if you drink a glass of water
A chronicle of the melancholy of a man who longs to inhale romance.
Many modern people live their lives engulfed in feelings of depression.
The things that come from a precarious life and love are filled with joy and sorrow, but they always leave deep scars on us.
Panic disorder, insomnia, and anxiety symptoms have become leeches in our daily lives.
The root of all this is the emotion called 'depression'.
Through this book, the author reveals his own chronicle of depression and gives us a glimpse into the struggles he endured at the crossroads of life and death.
The reason I can't harm myself even though my desire to die is like a chimney is because a little bit of love remains in my heart.
The author's dream of romance even in the midst of deep depression will give us a subtle sense of empathy and comfort.
If you are someone who has experienced depression from the depths of the unknown, if you are someone who wants to drink romance even when drinking a glass of water, read the book, "If Sadness Was a Disease, I Would Already Be Dead," which contains rich sentences.
A chronicle of the melancholy of a man who longs to inhale romance.
Many modern people live their lives engulfed in feelings of depression.
The things that come from a precarious life and love are filled with joy and sorrow, but they always leave deep scars on us.
Panic disorder, insomnia, and anxiety symptoms have become leeches in our daily lives.
The root of all this is the emotion called 'depression'.
Through this book, the author reveals his own chronicle of depression and gives us a glimpse into the struggles he endured at the crossroads of life and death.
The reason I can't harm myself even though my desire to die is like a chimney is because a little bit of love remains in my heart.
The author's dream of romance even in the midst of deep depression will give us a subtle sense of empathy and comfort.
If you are someone who has experienced depression from the depths of the unknown, if you are someone who wants to drink romance even when drinking a glass of water, read the book, "If Sadness Was a Disease, I Would Already Be Dead," which contains rich sentences.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Chapter 1
I plan to let you suffer to your heart's content and then let you go with this article.
12 to O
Delete 01 15
Delete 02 16
Delete 03 17
Delete 04 18
Delete Your Memory - Error 22
Dream Dream 01 24
Dream Dream 02 25
Dream Dream 03 26
Dream Dream 04 27
unwelcome guest 01 28
unwelcome guest 02 29
about maum 30
DIVE TO BLUE 32
Illusion 34
dust 35
If 36
Unsolved Question Mark 37
No Answer 38
J minus jane 01 40
J minus jane 02 42
43 in fragments
I got lost 45
I got lost 02 46
Raindrops and dances 50
farewell to raindrops 52
54 To the name I miss
To the name I miss #2 55
To the name I miss #3 56
oh my love 61
I swear by romance 64
Promise of Destruction 67
Eternity 68
In your eyes, the Milky Way is 69
70 forever
The name of the person you love is romantic 71
recall memory (why) 72
(null) 75
recall memory 76
pain of (love) 78
zero 80
What's missed never dies 81
What You Gain from Dating and Breakups 82
love you and hate you 84
Breakup anyway 86
88 to the name that has passed
Hide and Seek 89
If there was a clock that runs backwards, it would be 90
Love has never been difficult 92
Thief 93
plastic love 94
Candy 96
The circle is 97 for the triangle
Love takes different forms 98
Love is not begging 100
First Time 101
Lucid Dreaming 102
Bluebird 105
From the moment our times crossed 107
Ideal and Reality 108
Blatant Lie 109
Imperfect Forgiveness 110
My Religion, My Love 112
Cliff 113
What Love and Parting Left Behind 114
I'm not waiting for a reply 117
Unknown Mind 118
Borrowed Dream 120
Moth 121
river run 122
Bet 124
125 to my beloved S
Humans are confusing 126
It's Not Love 128
Timing 131
Lighter 132
134
135 as you wish
About Breakups 136
I made a wish 137
Chapter 2
Traces of attempts to survive somehow remain intact here.
If sadness is a disease
I would have died before 142
black dog 143
Cracked Mirror 145
Deaths That Aren't Strange 147
Loneliness Behind the Curtains 152
The clock keeps ticking
Without even knowing my own heart 154
minus 2 155
Teacher #1 158
Teacher #2 160
Teacher #3 162
Teacher #4 163
Victim of Innocence 165
I HATE PEOPLE 170
Poor Promise 172
Recharge my batteries [ / / / ] 173
with death on my shoulder 174
J's Will 176
Question mark 178
I'm.
already.
dead.
179
I'm dying ing ing ing 181
Shadow 185
187 to my sister
My Cat, Haku 188
The Sound No One Hears 190
Shell #1 191
Shell #2 192
Shell #3 193
zolpidem 194
Promises are always accompanied by betrayal 196
The Lifespan of Love 197
The things I choose betray me 198
Taboo 200
Trash Can 202
Lonely Good Night 203
About 204
Hibernation 206
My Heart Is Here 207
Extreme Depression 209
Option 211
Distrust 214
Hello 215
I want to sleep with you 216
Face of the Night 218
Don't cry today 219
Prayer 220
blasphemy 222
Self-harm 224
Life is too hard 225
Chapter 3
Even if I drink a glass of water, I want to drink up the romance
Chapter 230
Corona 233
June 236
July 237
Shirin Autumn 240
wish 241
The Inevitable Crossroads 242
Happiness 243
Delusion 244
onlyoneintheearth 246
Hangover 248
A Relationship with a Reason 249
The beginning is always waiting for me 250
Runaway 252
Self-reproach 253
Dreaming of Harmlessness 254
Greed 256
Salmon 259
Soulmate 260
Selfish Mind 262
Like a River 263
The Meaning of Love 265
267 As an indifferent person
Things that stay and leave 268
Dream 270
Salvation is Self 272
How miserable is the life on display? 273
274 For first-time hitchhikers
The most fearful thing is regret 275
Writing and Life Are Two Separate Things 276
Smiler 277
278 in Gaecheon
There are days when nothing is written 279
make it count 282
X 286
I plan to let you suffer to your heart's content and then let you go with this article.
12 to O
Delete 01 15
Delete 02 16
Delete 03 17
Delete 04 18
Delete Your Memory - Error 22
Dream Dream 01 24
Dream Dream 02 25
Dream Dream 03 26
Dream Dream 04 27
unwelcome guest 01 28
unwelcome guest 02 29
about maum 30
DIVE TO BLUE 32
Illusion 34
dust 35
If 36
Unsolved Question Mark 37
No Answer 38
J minus jane 01 40
J minus jane 02 42
43 in fragments
I got lost 45
I got lost 02 46
Raindrops and dances 50
farewell to raindrops 52
54 To the name I miss
To the name I miss #2 55
To the name I miss #3 56
oh my love 61
I swear by romance 64
Promise of Destruction 67
Eternity 68
In your eyes, the Milky Way is 69
70 forever
The name of the person you love is romantic 71
recall memory (why) 72
(null) 75
recall memory 76
pain of (love) 78
zero 80
What's missed never dies 81
What You Gain from Dating and Breakups 82
love you and hate you 84
Breakup anyway 86
88 to the name that has passed
Hide and Seek 89
If there was a clock that runs backwards, it would be 90
Love has never been difficult 92
Thief 93
plastic love 94
Candy 96
The circle is 97 for the triangle
Love takes different forms 98
Love is not begging 100
First Time 101
Lucid Dreaming 102
Bluebird 105
From the moment our times crossed 107
Ideal and Reality 108
Blatant Lie 109
Imperfect Forgiveness 110
My Religion, My Love 112
Cliff 113
What Love and Parting Left Behind 114
I'm not waiting for a reply 117
Unknown Mind 118
Borrowed Dream 120
Moth 121
river run 122
Bet 124
125 to my beloved S
Humans are confusing 126
It's Not Love 128
Timing 131
Lighter 132
134
135 as you wish
About Breakups 136
I made a wish 137
Chapter 2
Traces of attempts to survive somehow remain intact here.
If sadness is a disease
I would have died before 142
black dog 143
Cracked Mirror 145
Deaths That Aren't Strange 147
Loneliness Behind the Curtains 152
The clock keeps ticking
Without even knowing my own heart 154
minus 2 155
Teacher #1 158
Teacher #2 160
Teacher #3 162
Teacher #4 163
Victim of Innocence 165
I HATE PEOPLE 170
Poor Promise 172
Recharge my batteries [ / / / ] 173
with death on my shoulder 174
J's Will 176
Question mark 178
I'm.
already.
dead.
179
I'm dying ing ing ing 181
Shadow 185
187 to my sister
My Cat, Haku 188
The Sound No One Hears 190
Shell #1 191
Shell #2 192
Shell #3 193
zolpidem 194
Promises are always accompanied by betrayal 196
The Lifespan of Love 197
The things I choose betray me 198
Taboo 200
Trash Can 202
Lonely Good Night 203
About 204
Hibernation 206
My Heart Is Here 207
Extreme Depression 209
Option 211
Distrust 214
Hello 215
I want to sleep with you 216
Face of the Night 218
Don't cry today 219
Prayer 220
blasphemy 222
Self-harm 224
Life is too hard 225
Chapter 3
Even if I drink a glass of water, I want to drink up the romance
Chapter 230
Corona 233
June 236
July 237
Shirin Autumn 240
wish 241
The Inevitable Crossroads 242
Happiness 243
Delusion 244
onlyoneintheearth 246
Hangover 248
A Relationship with a Reason 249
The beginning is always waiting for me 250
Runaway 252
Self-reproach 253
Dreaming of Harmlessness 254
Greed 256
Salmon 259
Soulmate 260
Selfish Mind 262
Like a River 263
The Meaning of Love 265
267 As an indifferent person
Things that stay and leave 268
Dream 270
Salvation is Self 272
How miserable is the life on display? 273
274 For first-time hitchhikers
The most fearful thing is regret 275
Writing and Life Are Two Separate Things 276
Smiler 277
278 in Gaecheon
There are days when nothing is written 279
make it count 282
X 286
Detailed image
Into the book
Even though it may be wrong now, I was very happy back then.
Even though my throat hurt, I didn't let go of my arm as a pillow all night because I wanted to hear your heartbeat. As I watched you sleep soundly, my arm not even numb, I thought that maybe this person and I would fall in love.
I wish I hadn't gotten in the taxi home that day, I wish I had believed all the sweet words.
Then, do you also want to understand me?
I miss that day.
The way you looked at me wondering when I would have time again, the way your lips would suddenly appear, the way you spoke in a way that seemed cute, the deep eyes that never avoided my gaze.
Back then, everything seemed to flow smoothly like a river flowing before us, but how did I end up chasing only your traces?
--- p.42
I believe that through repeated love and separation, we become better people.
Apart from learning how to love, it also involves reflecting on past mistakes.
Isn't love truly the best lesson in life?
So I don't stop loving.
The breakup right now may seem like a story from a distant future, but I'm sure you'll learn something from it as much as it hurts.
--- p.114
teacher.
I am getting sick.
I pour my heart into a fleeting relationship and my whole body becomes transparent.
I have a strong feeling that what could be called the self is disappearing.
What should I rely on?
What on earth should I rely on to survive, when I am so weak?
Ironically, living alone brings peace.
The only time I hold a bag of medicine is when someone else comes into my life.
I get sick when I hear shrill voices, when I see disgusting faces and confrontations, when I am tied to the word "with" someone.
I, who was sick of humans, tried to live without any contact with humans.
It was lonely, but I felt more comfortable there.
But I hadn't thought about the inherent loneliness of humans.
So what should I do? I'll constantly grow sick among people, fill my loneliness, then leave them again, become so solitude-ridden that I'll hover around them, and then leave again forever.
Is this my fate?
--- p.158
In the past, I tried hard to look like I was happy even when I wasn't, but these days, I wonder if I really have to look happy.
So what if you're a little unhappy when you don't get anything out of the happiness you've created?
Everyone is born into misfortune and lives chasing small happiness, so how could I be any different?
--- p.273
If you ask me why I live, I would answer that I force myself to live, feeding on happy memories and smiling occasionally.
I have small regrets about life, eating away at good memories like candy.
I live with the foolish expectation that if I live like this, the day will come when I will be rewarded.
Depression is entirely mine.
This beggarly emotion is a vicious contagious disease that only knows multiplication and not division.
Fortunately, I haven't believed in willpower or salvation for a long time.
This independent depression knows that no one but me can kill it.
I love and hate my depression to death for parasitizing on my life and coveting me.
I will not give in to this stubborn, filthy feeling even a little bit, but will fight tenaciously and finally seize the opportunity to win.
Even though my throat hurt, I didn't let go of my arm as a pillow all night because I wanted to hear your heartbeat. As I watched you sleep soundly, my arm not even numb, I thought that maybe this person and I would fall in love.
I wish I hadn't gotten in the taxi home that day, I wish I had believed all the sweet words.
Then, do you also want to understand me?
I miss that day.
The way you looked at me wondering when I would have time again, the way your lips would suddenly appear, the way you spoke in a way that seemed cute, the deep eyes that never avoided my gaze.
Back then, everything seemed to flow smoothly like a river flowing before us, but how did I end up chasing only your traces?
--- p.42
I believe that through repeated love and separation, we become better people.
Apart from learning how to love, it also involves reflecting on past mistakes.
Isn't love truly the best lesson in life?
So I don't stop loving.
The breakup right now may seem like a story from a distant future, but I'm sure you'll learn something from it as much as it hurts.
--- p.114
teacher.
I am getting sick.
I pour my heart into a fleeting relationship and my whole body becomes transparent.
I have a strong feeling that what could be called the self is disappearing.
What should I rely on?
What on earth should I rely on to survive, when I am so weak?
Ironically, living alone brings peace.
The only time I hold a bag of medicine is when someone else comes into my life.
I get sick when I hear shrill voices, when I see disgusting faces and confrontations, when I am tied to the word "with" someone.
I, who was sick of humans, tried to live without any contact with humans.
It was lonely, but I felt more comfortable there.
But I hadn't thought about the inherent loneliness of humans.
So what should I do? I'll constantly grow sick among people, fill my loneliness, then leave them again, become so solitude-ridden that I'll hover around them, and then leave again forever.
Is this my fate?
--- p.158
In the past, I tried hard to look like I was happy even when I wasn't, but these days, I wonder if I really have to look happy.
So what if you're a little unhappy when you don't get anything out of the happiness you've created?
Everyone is born into misfortune and lives chasing small happiness, so how could I be any different?
--- p.273
If you ask me why I live, I would answer that I force myself to live, feeding on happy memories and smiling occasionally.
I have small regrets about life, eating away at good memories like candy.
I live with the foolish expectation that if I live like this, the day will come when I will be rewarded.
Depression is entirely mine.
This beggarly emotion is a vicious contagious disease that only knows multiplication and not division.
Fortunately, I haven't believed in willpower or salvation for a long time.
This independent depression knows that no one but me can kill it.
I love and hate my depression to death for parasitizing on my life and coveting me.
I will not give in to this stubborn, filthy feeling even a little bit, but will fight tenaciously and finally seize the opportunity to win.
--- p.286
Publisher's Review
Depression is also a mission we must bear.
As I swim along with the author in his depression, I feel myself gradually losing my breath, but also feel an inexplicable surge of energy.
Looking at a person's chronicle of depression may be quite daunting, but because depression is something we've all experienced, this book offers room for deep reflection on the depression that exists in the world.
Although we may not be exactly the same as the author's depression, I think we can feel a sense of kinship in the will to live that the author is trying to convey, because we clearly share the same feeling of 'depression'.
I hope that the author's attitude and sermon on living for romance and love, despite the daily ups and downs, will give me the strength to move forward.
Depression is also a mission we must bear.
And I hope you don't get depressed like Kim Jae-in.
As I swim along with the author in his depression, I feel myself gradually losing my breath, but also feel an inexplicable surge of energy.
Looking at a person's chronicle of depression may be quite daunting, but because depression is something we've all experienced, this book offers room for deep reflection on the depression that exists in the world.
Although we may not be exactly the same as the author's depression, I think we can feel a sense of kinship in the will to live that the author is trying to convey, because we clearly share the same feeling of 'depression'.
I hope that the author's attitude and sermon on living for romance and love, despite the daily ups and downs, will give me the strength to move forward.
Depression is also a mission we must bear.
And I hope you don't get depressed like Kim Jae-in.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Publication date: March 30, 2021
- Page count, weight, size: 292 pages | 130*190*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791191369090
- ISBN10: 1191369099
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