A working woman who thought she would be happy just by quitting her job
Becoming a full-time housewife and starting to truly wander

Any working woman dreams of owning a house or becoming a full-time professional at least once.
Why do married women give up work and return home more easily than men?
I see many women who become full-time housewives after marriage for the sake of their children or to be faithful to their families.
Did they quit their jobs voluntarily or involuntarily?


This book is not a story about a 'mother' raising a child, but a story about a 'woman' who has lived without earning money.
When the company's consideration for women after marriage feels like exclusion, when doubts about their own talents arise, when they are too exhausted to bear the brunt of the competition, and when the added burden of being a wife and daughter-in-law makes everything too overwhelming, women consider quitting.
Wouldn't it be easier to make a decision if you could first get a glimpse into the real life of a woman who has lived as a housewife?

This is the story of a woman who experienced firsthand that while married men become 'fully usable human resources,' married women become 'temporarily excluded human resources' who can become pregnant and quit their jobs at any time.
It begins with the realistic story of a woman exhausted from work becoming a full-time housewife.
It contains everything from the things that happen when a woman relies on her husband for economic activities, the inexplicable sense of victimization and conflict toward her in-laws, the lowered self-esteem, and even the discrimination from fellow women who say that a stay-at-home mother cannot discuss feminism.
If you are a woman who is contemplating whether to continue working or quit after marriage, I highly recommend reading this.

I wasn't happy at all.
Just a little while ago, I was having the absurd thought that the taxi I was riding in had been in an accident and I just wanted to rest in the hospital for a few days.
I always felt guilty because even though I was giving 120 percent of my ability, I couldn't meet my boss' expectations.
Every night, I juggled the blame for my shortcomings with the harsh company's.
Even though I was working hard every day, it seemed like the work was just piled up on me, so I felt like throwing a party.
As summer deepened, the guilt and sense of victimization grew.
Above all, I couldn't accept that I had achieved my dream and was so unhappy.
---From "The Woman in My Dream"

I asked myself one last question before throwing the white towel into the ring.
'Are you okay with never having to work again?'
Two resignations might have branded me a 'misfit'.
If I quit now, I'll be a 'married woman without children', the lowest-ranking member of the labor market.
(Organizations are most reluctant to hire married women without children who have not yet resolved their 'parental leave risk.') It will not be easy to get back to work.
Still, I threw in the towel.
It was when I decided that I would never have to work again.
---From "The 100 vs. 1 World: Starting Social Life After Exhaustion"

Looking back, there were signs.
After I got married, the questions I received from my seniors at work changed.
“Do you cook for your husband? When are you going to have a baby?” I knew they were casual questions, but they felt a bit strange to me.
Before marriage, conversations that started with "What department do you want to work in in the future?" and ended with career counseling were now filled with topics about "household management" and "childbirth."
After getting married, I started answering questions about things other than work more often.
---From "After marriage, they recommended less important things"

Since becoming a full-time housewife, I've felt a slight sense of guilt every time I spend money.
I felt bad about spending money without earning it.
This guilt led to a feeling of pressure to 'save as much as possible'.
I thought that the only contribution I could make to the household budget, since I didn't earn any money, was to 'save'.
Constant guilt and 'saving compulsion' were just other names for the gloomy.
---From "What it's like for me, once an alpha girl, to live as a full-time housewife"

I thought I could get people while being a housewife.
I was hoping to make a chance encounter with a friend at a yoga studio or a cafe I frequent.
It wasn't as easy as I thought.
Of course, there was a way.
In women's communities, there are often advertisements for friends like, "Looking for a friend who is a full-time housewife preparing for pregnancy."
But I, who insisted on a 'love marriage', wanted to make friends naturally.
---From "Why Coffee Time Was More Important Than Aerobics"

Before I quit, I planned to have a nice meal with my stay-at-home mom, go shopping at a department store, and travel to Southeast Asia.
But, I felt complicated about spending these expenses with my husband's salary instead of my own.
I felt sorry for him and sometimes even felt indebted to him.
Conversely, saying I owe him something also means that he 'gave' me something.
I began to think that my filial piety might depend on my husband's 'goodwill' (or favor).
Posts like “husbands who don’t let their wives spend money on their parents’ house” that frequently appear in women’s communities have fanned a vague sense of anxiety.
---From "Complex Problems of Filial Piety: Self-Reliance"

The comments that often appear on posts on women's communities asking whether the demands of in-laws are excessive or not are, "Why are you doing that when you're both working and not full-time?"
These words sounded to me like, 'If you don't earn money, you have to put up with some of your in-laws' unreasonable demands.'
In the same situation as '乙', one must engage in economic activities in order to be 'qualified to speak' in a place where '甲' is being criticized.
I went there to be comforted, but ended up feeling discouraged instead.
---From "Is a Daughter-in-Law Who Doesn't Work a Sinner?"

On the other hand, I, who had boldly demanded that my husband do housework because I was busier, had to transform into a traditional woman who had to clean up my husband's traces without complaint.
I understood in my head that this transition was natural, as a full-time housewife is the one in charge of housework, but to me, who had been calling for gender equality for nearly 30 years, this felt like a regression rather than a transition.
My head and heart were out of sync.
---From "A Deep-Bone Gender Equality Advocate Living as a Full-Time Housewife"

In the five years before and after turning thirty, women experience the major events of their lives in a compressed manner.
You choose a career, you choose a man to spend the rest of your life with, and you choose whether to become a mother (or not).
There is no time to think, but you are faced with a series of choices.
This may be why French novelist Honoré Balzac said, “The thirties are the most dangerous time for women.”
---From "If you throw it away well, you won't throw it all away"

On the other hand, I prepared dinner, did laundry, and cleaned in the name of 'housekeeping'.
I also gave him nutritional supplements like multivitamins and omega-3.
I thought it was helpful for me to take care of the housework so that he could focus fully on his work.
But my husband didn't seem to appreciate it that much.
Rather, he told me to spend that time meeting friends, reading more books, and writing more.
It felt like both encouragement and pressure to stop trying to do something for me and use that energy to rebuild your life.
---From "My Own Room, a Gift from My Husband"

What work gave me was more than I thought.
It gave me the confidence and voice in relationships that only someone who takes responsibility for their own living can have, and it left behind some pretty significant memories as time went by.
More than anything, the mere fact that I had my own space in society, big or small, made my life more vibrant.
I cried a lot, got hurt, and panted a lot at work, but at the same time, I gave it my all.
Now I know.
If you don't take risks, you won't be energetic.
---From "Work is not a matter of emotion, but of will"

The world is still tilted too far for women to stand tall.
Quite a few women consider running away from work and running home.
Hoping to find the peace I so desperately longed for at home.
But I never found it.
The peace without dignity was temporary.
I enjoyed a moment of peace as I spread out the blanket on a fine afternoon, but I ended up tossing and turning in the stiff blanket for several times longer.

---From "I will not give up my dignity to 'false peace'"