The power of a father to guide his child's growth
When the father changes, the family changes, and when the family changes, society changes.

What impact does a father have on a child's growth and development? This book is a parenting guide, encompassing what I've observed and realized over the past decade in the field of father education.
It introduces the meaning of being a father to children, ways to bridge the gap between parents and children who communicate in different languages, and conversational methods that can foster children's thinking skills and self-directedness.

The importance of balanced roles
Finding a balance between your roles as a father, a husband, a worker, and sometimes even a son is not easy.
Society still demands that men be 'successful' and 'strong', and that their roles at home are considered secondary.
But the true role of a father is to transcend these social pressures and find his place within the family.
It's not about being a hero to your children, it's about showing them the human side of making mistakes and falling down, and getting back up again.
It's not about being the perfect spouse for your wife, but about being a partner who understands each other's shortcomings and grows together.
--- p.20

A birthday is not just a day to celebrate a child.
That day has special meaning for the whole family.
Especially for a wife, it is a day of hard work and courage as she brings a new life into the world.
My story is about making seaweed soup every year for my child's birthday.
You might think of it as a simple family ritual, but once you understand its meaning, your thoughts may change.

"On your birthday, you worked hard to be born, and your mother also worked hard to give birth to you! That's why I'm making seaweed soup for your mother who worked so hard."
--- p.39

One meaningful conversation can change a child's life.
Your children may also be at a crossroads in their lives right now.
Discover what they truly want, fear, and need through empathetic conversation.
And be their strong supporters so they can find their own path.
The empathy of parents who truly understand their children is more powerful than any educational method.
--- p.73

Understanding the importance of emotions in learning and practicing emotional coaching goes beyond simply improving immediate study efficiency; it influences the formation of a child's lifelong learning attitude.
If you want to get your child to study, it is important to first check whether their emotions are suitable for learning and create a positive emotional environment.
This starts with parents first regulating their own emotions, respecting their children's emotions, and creating an emotionally safe learning space.
--- p.97

Questions are the seeds of growth, not teaching.
Telling a child, “You should do this,” provides a one-time learning experience, but asking, “How can I do it?” gives them the ability to learn for a lifetime.
As Jaewon's example shows, asking appropriate questions goes beyond simply solving homework problems and becomes a stepping stone for developing into a self-directed learner.
The advice I want to give parents through this article is simple.
The next time your child asks, “Please help me,” instead of immediately offering a solution, pause and ask a question.
You'll be amazed at how much of an impact those small changes can have on your child's future.
A child's self-determination begins with the questions we ask, not the answers we give.
--- p.117

The key to family relationships is communication.
And true communication begins with acknowledging and understanding each other's differences.
The Same Bed, Different Dreams personality types visualize these differences easily and clearly, providing a common language for family members to understand each other more deeply.
Especially with the increasing complexity of parenting and marital relationships in modern society, these tools offer a way for family members to coexist harmoniously while respecting each other's unique perspectives and needs.
--- p.130

Beaver children tend to be logical, careful, and perfectionistic.
They want to hear their parents acknowledge their efforts and accuracy, and feel that they are being taken care of.
Beaver children are motivated when their intellectual and analytical abilities are recognized.
Additionally, since the fear of making mistakes can be great, frequent encouraging words like, “It’s okay if you’re not perfect” can help ease the burden.
--- p.158

The way parents ask questions can either boost or lower a child's self-esteem.
Questions that foster autonomy and independence help children develop the ability to solve problems on their own.
As children answer questions, they learn to organize their emotions, structure their thoughts, and find new solutions.
This helps children develop the ability to solve more complex problems as they grow.
--- p.216

There are several strategies parents can use to strengthen their children's thinking skills through questioning.

First, use open-ended questions.
Questions like “Why?”, “How?”, and “Is there another way?” help children think deeply.
Second, rather than giving the correct answer right away, wait for the child to find the answer on his own.
Thinking skills are not developed in a short period of time, but are formed through repetitive thinking processes, so it is important for parents to be patient and wait for their child's answers.
Third, create an environment that stimulates thinking skills in everyday life.
For example, when reading a book, asking predictive questions like, “How will this story end?” can help children develop the habit of logically analyzing the story’s development.
--- p.221

Dolphin type children are sociable, emotional, and value relationships with those around them.
They enjoy play and conversation, and are adept at sharing their emotions.
But sometimes, they have big mood swings and are very sensitive to other people's reactions.
Therefore, asking appropriate questions to your dolphin-type child can help them grow emotionally, build relationships, and increase their self-understanding.

Effective questions for dolphin-type children are those that encourage them to express their emotions and develop the ability to understand the emotions of others.
Questions like, “What was the funniest moment you had talking to your friends today?” help children process their emotions through conversation and understand their role in relationships.
--- p.233

Kim Cheol-su, who has a son in the third grade of elementary school, says this.
“One day, my son said he got into a fight with a friend at school.
At first I was going to scold him, but then I just said, 'Can you tell Dad what happened?'
My son hesitated at first, but gradually began to talk, and as I listened, I realized that there had been a misunderstanding between him and his friend.
When my son said, 'Thank you for listening to me until the end,' I felt the power of listening." Listening is the key to breaking down the wall between parents and children and building trust.
Children open their hearts to their fathers who listen to their stories, and they naturally seek out their fathers whenever they have concerns.
--- p.270

The upper grades of elementary school (ages 10-12) are a time when logical thinking begins to develop in earnest, and it is an important time to develop the ability to think about various problems on one's own and find solutions.
Children at this age become increasingly autonomous and learn to express their opinions and support them logically.
Therefore, parents should broaden their children's thinking framework through questions so that they can develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
--- p.311

I hope the methods presented in this book will be of some help to you on your fatherhood journey.
But please remember.
Being a good father doesn't require any special talents or knowledge.
All it takes is a sincere heart and consistent effort.

Spending time with your children, looking into their eyes, and holding their little hands in warmth are the greatest gifts you can give.
Be a father who knows how to wait at his child's pace.
That waiting will be the greatest love for your child.

I sincerely hope that all fathers will have good luck on their 'Big Father' journey.
The seeds of love you plant will surely bear beautiful fruit.
And those fruits become new seeds and are passed on to the next generation.
This is the true meaning of fatherly influence, of ‘Big Father’.

--- p.319