Prologue: Each child has different social needs.


01.
Misconceptions and Truths About Children's Sociality

Sociality is not about the absence of problems, but the power to solve them.
What is sociality?
Why Social Skills Matter from Infants to Adolescents
Five Truths About Sociality
A child with well-developed social skills says this:
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“Even if I go to the playground because I want to play with others, I end up playing alone.”
Case 2.
“I play well with the kids I always play with, but it’s hard for me to make new friends.”
Case 3.
“I keep bumping into kids. Is it right to keep them from going to the playground?”
3 Secrets to Fostering Playground Sociality

02 Stages of social development according to age

It's not that I'm selfish, I'm just not at that age yet
Sociality requires patience.
When and how do children begin to recognize ‘others’?
Knowing myself, knowing my mother, knowing the world
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“I’m not shy, but I’m just not interested in my peers.”
Case 2.
“My child is selfish and seems to lack empathy.”
Case 3.
“Please tell me the secret to disciplining a child who keeps hitting.”
In this case, you should definitely see a specialist.
Sociality is ○○ ○○○

03 Social tasks that vary depending on temperament

Even if the temperament is the same, you can raise them to have a better personality.
A shy and timid child, will he/she be able to socialize well?
Social and personality development occurs throughout life.
Five innate temperaments that each child possesses
A simple temperament test
There is no such thing as a good or bad temperament.
The social skills that need to be nurtured vary depending on temperament.
If you get along well with yourself, you can get along well with others.
A keyword for social development: social sensitivity
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“I’m not good at greeting people I know.”
Case 2.
“I’m exhausted from taking care of such a sensitive child.”
Building a good personality based on your child's temperament

04 Social Development Strategies for Children Who Can't Say No

The less problems a child has, the more problems they have to solve.
How can I help my child who is stubborn only at home?
5-Step Social Skills Task for Children with High Social Sensitivity
When disciplining a child with high social sensitivity, be especially careful!
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“Even if you say no if you don’t like it, it’s okay.
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
Case 2.
“I want to help my child develop defensive skills as he is easily hurt by what his friends say.”
Five Things You Must Teach Your Weak-Minded Child

05 Strategies for Social Development in Children with No Tact

Does low social sensitivity also mean low empathy?
When a child with low social sensitivity has high other temperaments
Empathy is an acquired ability that must be learned and practiced.
Social skills tasks for children with low social sensitivity
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“The child cannot understand other people’s feelings.”
Case 2.
“What if a child who doesn’t have any sense is hated at school?”
Things to keep in mind when disciplining a child who is not observant

06 The best way to develop social skills is through play.

Whether it's academics or social skills, children only learn when they're having fun.
In the future, social skills will be more important than grades.
3 Secrets to Developing Social Skills While Playing
Why Children Repeat the Same Games
Let the child take the lead when role-playing.
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“It’s so hard to spend time playing with my child. What should I do?”
Case 2.
“They say play is important, but if my child plays too much, he cries and makes a fuss.”
Case 3.
“If possible, please tell me about games that are effective in developing social skills.”
7 Play Tips to Develop Your Child's Social Skills

07 Social issues arising in institutions and schools

“Mom, I’m the only one without friends.” What are the child’s true feelings?
It's natural to experience difficulties, big and small, in peer relationships.
Problems are opportunities to grow
Family is a safe environment where children can practice social skills.
Social skills develop better when they are empathized with.
Good things happen when you work well with your teacher
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“I’m the only one without any friends.
“No one wants to play with me.” My heart aches at the child’s words.

Case 2.
“Youngsun is bothering me.”
Make your teacher your strong ally

08 Suggestions for Parents' Social Sensitivity

Is it because the mother doesn't go to gatherings that the child can't make friends?
Does parental sociality affect children's sociality?
The appropriate 'distance' is different for everyone.
Teacher Darang's solution
Case 1.
“Until what age should my child attend parent-teacher meetings?”
Case 2.
“I spend too much time at parent-teacher conferences.”
Parenting Tips Based on Social Sensitivity

Learn and practice social skills with epilogue picture books.

How can we specifically help children develop social skills?
Practical advice on building social skills you can put into practice right now!

Concerns about adaptation to institutions, problem behaviors, and lifestyle habits during infancy and early childhood
Personality of school-age children, conflicts with children, study habits, and career concerns
As an adult, I worry about relationships with the opposite sex, career paths, employment, and work life.

What do these concerns have in common? They all concern sociality: how to relate to others and live well.
Currently, parents in South Korea face common concerns with their children, from infants to teenagers.
Parents with children from infants to under 10 years of age have even greater concerns about social skills.
This is because children are born into nuclear families, are isolated from society due to the coronavirus, and spend their days with smartphones.
Parents' worries are endless: feeling anxious when seeing their child having conflicts with friends at the playground, worrying about who will hate their child who keeps acting out, and worrying about their child who seems timid and doesn't fit in anywhere.
How can we help these children?

In order to properly help children develop social skills, we must first clear up misconceptions about social skills.
It is very dangerous to think that social skills are something you are born with, that there is nothing you can do about it, or that they will get better with age.
It is absolutely nonsense to misunderstand a child who is sociable as having good social skills, or to think that in order to improve social skills, you must always get along with others.
Children who are highly sociable often suppress their feelings and try to accommodate others to avoid conflict.
We must lead people to resolve conflicts rather than avoid them.
True sociality is not about not creating conflict situations, but rather the ability to resolve conflicts effectively.
So, sociality is ‘problem-solving ability.’
The process of experiencing and resolving conflict itself becomes a great social skills lesson.
In the process, how can parents develop their children's problem-solving skills?

Author Da-rang Lee, a developmental psychology expert and director of Jaranda Child Growth Research Institute, recommends that parents first understand the temperament of their children.
In "Don't Tell Me to Fight," we provide criteria and methods for understanding and offer solutions to problems that each child and situation encounters.
As the CEO of Growing Mom, a parenting consulting company, this book analyzes numerous cases the author has encountered to explain what sociality is for children, how to understand a child's temperament and personality, and how parents interact to develop a child's sociality, thereby alleviating caregivers' concerns about their child's sociality.
The author's answers to various questions, such as what is beneficial when understanding a child's temperament, how to develop a good personality based on a child's temperament, what must be taught to a child with a weak mind, how to develop social skills through play, how much should caregivers participate in parent meetings, and how much parents should wait and think to develop their child's social skills, are specific and clear.


A must-read for parents of children entering daycare, kindergarten, or school.
Practical advice for developing social skills you can implement right away

I hope this book will help you alleviate your concerns about sociality and lead to happier parenting.

Author's Note

A Loving Parent's Guide to Teaching Your Child Social Skills

Please remember that in order for children to use what they have learned well in society, they must first learn how to live well in the world.
This book was written to help many parents understand what social skills are, why they are important, and that the specific points of social skills that should be taught vary depending on the child's temperamental characteristics.
I hope this will be a loving guide to parents who want their children to live truly happy and prosperous lives, showing them how to begin their child's social development.


Growing Mom Da-rang Lee, author of "Habits That Don't Hurt Your Child's Heart."


Reader Reviews

Actually, I never really worried about my child's social skills because I've heard so many times that he is very sociable.
Actually, I was worried because my child didn't have a best friend.
Reading this book made me realize that even if your child is sociable, social skills can still be a problem, and if so, I know exactly how to help my child.
(he*****2, mother of 6 years old)

I thought social skills were innate, but I was wrong.
Sociality depends on what the caregiver teaches.
Dear Darang, you are the best.
(mother of na***** 4 years old)

This book, packed with tips for social development, is likely to become a popular parenting book.
(de***** )

I'm very interested in social issues, so I've read a lot of books on the subject.
This book was very useful because it was not just general information, but also had a lot of practical information that could be applied in real life.
I figured out my children's temperaments and applied them, and the results were immediate.
(ma****)

This article was full of Darang's solutions to help parents develop their children's social skills by focusing on problematic cases they encounter while raising children.
This is truly Teacher Darang's affectionate guide to social skills.
I am filled with the desire to give this gift to a home with children.
(kw*****)

I've always been concerned about my child's social skills, but this book has made me feel much more at ease.
If you are a parent who wants to develop positive social skills in your child, I think this book is essential.
(es******)