“French first graders cut oranges with a knife and squeeze out the juice to eat?”
The 12-year veteran elementary school teacher who impressed 4.7 million parents
Lazy parenting techniques to raise children who study on their own are revealed!

★★★★★ EBS [60 Minute Parenting] Recommended Books by Parenting Mentor Lee Bo-yeon
★★★★★ Books recommended by [Bessa TV] Parenting Channel CEO Park Jeong-eun
★★★★★ Parenting solutions for each growth stage: 0-3 years old, 4-7 years old, and 8-10 years old.
★★★★★ Includes a checklist for elementary school admissions, as provided by teachers.

The author, an elementary school teacher, made sure to teach her two children jump rope and origami instead of Korean and English.
This is because he has seen through hundreds of students that a child who can't write his name but is good at origami, or a child who can jump rope but doesn't know the multiplication tables, will inevitably do well in school.
"Spontaneous Indifference Parenting" contains the surprising process and success stories of children becoming engrossed in their studies on their own when parents take a leisurely, yet strategic, approach to indifference.
For example, the author, who suddenly moved to France, experienced a type of wild parenting that Korean parents could not have imagined. The author's children adapted to the institution within ten days and showed this through their academic achievements.
Parents who want to raise their children to be independent in both life and studies, parents who want to wait patiently for their children, and parents who want to respect their children as they are will find emotional liberation from parenting through this book, while also witnessing the amazing transformation of their children as they carve out their own paths in life.

My first child went to France after finishing the first semester of the first year.
Her life in France began with her husband, who was dispatched overseas.
I can only imagine what school would be like for a child who couldn't speak French at all, but that too is a challenge the child must face and overcome.
It is my job to encourage, praise, embrace and hug.
However, in France, children's self-directedness was even more prominent.


In French elementary schools, mothers are strictly prohibited from entering from the school gate (in kindergartens, mothers are allowed to accompany their children all the way to the front of the classroom).
A few days later, I heard from someone else that he almost couldn't eat the lunch on the first day.
It was heartbreaking to hear the story of a Korean friend who took a child who was supposed to eat in the cafeteria to the cafeteria after seeing him standing still in the playground, but he managed to eat anyway, so it was okay.
School is a place where children go.
Said to the child.
“If you ate it, that’s fine, right?
“Now, go to the cafeteria.” I was worried that he might be flustered, but I was also impressed by his courage in overcoming the situation and solving it.
(…)

This kind of behavior in children was not just something they grew up with.
At the buffet, even when my husband and I moved to get food, the kids sat quietly and ate.
It was when the second child turned.
No YouTube, no toys, no cell phones or tablets.
Thanks to my children who have good table manners thanks to child-led weaning, I have been able to have a comfortable time in any restaurant or travel destination, and I still do.

---pp.65~67 From "Let them eat by themselves"

I wish I had studied more seriously.
I wish I could just sit down and do it for 30 minutes.
The children did it for 10 minutes and said, “We’re done.” They did it for 20 minutes and said, “We’re done.”
“How long do I have to do this?” he asks.
Mom is so upset.
There is something that can reduce nagging about 'time', even though it cannot reduce other nagging.
It's a timer.
It's not a ticking timer that keeps kids on their toes.
There is something called 'Google Timer'.
If you set the time for 30 minutes, the red area will gradually decrease by 30 minutes and an alarm will sound when the time is up.


Even in school, this timer has tremendous power.
Children find it extremely difficult to attend classes longer than 40 minutes.
If you set the timer for exactly 40 minutes, the children will focus during class without any complaints.
He suggested that we read a book in the morning.
When I asked how many minutes it would take to read a book without feeling pressured, he said 10 minutes was too short and 30 minutes was too long, so 20 minutes seemed like a good time. So I set the timer for 20 minutes and shouted, “Go!”
The children read books as quietly as mice.
It's amazing how no one does anything else for 20 minutes, as if they think they have to read for about 20 minutes.
(…)

The concept of time is very difficult and abstract for children.
When playing, an hour feels like 10 minutes, and when studying, 10 minutes feels like 1 hour.
When we show children time with their eyes, they learn the concept of time through their bodies and put it into practice by controlling it on their own.
The reason why mom nags is because only mom feels the passage of time.
Let's help children feel the passage of time.
Let's show you with your eyes the time that cannot be felt with your senses.
If you let them see for themselves, they will nag less and their ability to manage their time will grow.

---pp.84~86 From "This One Thing Cuts Nagging in Half"

Even if children are not able to develop self-direction well between the ages of 4 and 7, they will quickly learn it if they make good use of the early grades.
For first graders, the first and second semesters are different.
When children reach second and third grade, they change so much that it can be said to be a world of difference.
The child who crawled around the classroom and lay on the floor in the first semester, the child who got into fights with his friends every day and had friends come to him during recess, becomes a different child in the second semester.
A child who said studying wasn't fun will say, "I think I'm pretty good at studying."


When children learn the joy of studying on their own, they study harder.
If you are a mother of a child about to enter school or a mother of a child in the lower grades, you need to change your strategy from now on.
You should make good use of the school life, which ends around 1 o'clock at the latest.
At home, children should be given ample time to think, learn, and move their bodies.
You shouldn't be tempted to spend time solving workbooks or go to a cram school to improve your grades in a short period of time.
Lower grades are not grades that are checked.
You should think of it as a time to prepare to go to middle or high school and study.
(…) After six years of trial and error, the child advances to middle and high school and finally develops his or her own study method.
Teachers know.
I can see a child who won't last long studying even if he or she gets a perfect score on a dictation test, and a child who will last long studying even if he or she gets a zero on a dictation test.
---pp.142~143 From the preface to “Voluntary Parenting: How Elementary School Studies for 8-10 Year Olds Lead to Middle and High School Skills”

Perhaps fostering self-direction in children involves a mother practicing stepping away from her child and letting go of her own concerns. Why wouldn't I want to be there, supporting them in everything they do? However, what children need at school is an awareness of what they need to do now and an attitude of taking action on their own.
Self-directedness is not something that can be developed in school; it must be developed at home before school.
Self-direction is essential for knowing what I need to do at school right now.
(…)

There are children who enter school without knowing how to write their names.
One child doesn't know for the whole school year, and another child is like, 'Oh, I have to write my name.
I think, 'I should go home and find out the name.'
The former is a child whose mother solves everything for him, that is, a child who lacks self-initiative.
If your mother doesn't teach you how to write your name, you won't feel the need to know.
The latter is a child with self-direction.
Since he is a child who knows what is needed in school now, he tries to learn on his own by starting with writing his name.
A child who studies well even though he comes to school without knowing his own name.

“This child can’t do anything if I don’t do it for him.
“I have to take care of everything.”

Let's think about whether this isn't an excuse for a mother to want to be there for her child.
Because you do it, you don't feel the need to do it.
If there is a deficiency, we try to fill it.
You need to carefully decide whether to have your child study by finding a private academy for him or her until the third year of high school, or to be a passive mother who fosters self-directed learning and makes the child find the things to study on his or her own.

---pp.144~146 From "Please don't prepare everything one by one"