Dividing the world into 'us' and 'them',
About some words that build walls and fly like arrows

“Language has a strange power.
Some words or sentences cut between people like a sharp knife.

There was also talk of erecting a barrier between this side and that side.
My curiosity arose.

“Where did this saying come from?”
_ From the prologue

As Heidegger said, “Language is the house of being,” we learn about the world, communicate with others, and build relationships through language.
However, depending on how we use it, language can be a tool that embraces and welcomes others who are different from us, or it can become a material that divides and divides us into 'us' and 'them.'
The author, who has addressed and preached about current social and human rights issues in books such as "Is This Scene Uncomfortable Only for Me?" and "Bringing It From the Future," argues in this book that the more discriminatory words disguised as dialogue are casually used, and the more words that evaluate and judge others while disguising themselves as advice run rampant, the more exclusion and hatred are taken for granted and justified.

The author examines the ‘back side’ of common sayings that everyone uses, such as “He has a personality that shows that he grew up with a lot of love,” “Anyone can become what they want if they work hard,” “If you’re poor, don’t have children,” “If you keep receiving favors, you think it’s a right,” “You have to put up with that much while working for a salary,” and “That person has low self-esteem because he wasn’t loved,” and captures how these words become sharp knives that divide people and society.
In particular, we examine the social and historical context of eight words (normal, grade, perfect, poverty, rights, effort, self-esteem, and empathy) that can easily create stereotypes and prejudices, and consider and gain insight into the questions we must ask and the perspectives we must have to break free from psychological locks.

Even when real indicators change, our perspective on the world doesn't change much, so the language we use often remains stagnant.
The same goes for the world's framework, such as laws and systems.
The surgical consent form required for emergency surgery at a hospital includes a section for 'guardian consent.'
Most hospitals limit the scope of this guardian to relatives such as parents, children, spouses, or siblings.
Those without relatives around them have difficulty receiving help from friends or unmarried cohabitants even when they are sick and need care.
Even when taking out a loan to purchase a house or applying for an apartment, conditions or special provisions targeting those within the scope of a normal family are the mainstream.
Single-person households, cohabiting families, and same-sex families have to endure disadvantages in many aspects of their daily lives.
‘Golden drawing’ and ‘pushing out’ are hidden all over the world.
--- From "'Madam' and 'Mother', Familiar and Unfamiliar Names"

We often think of the 'average' as a number that represents an entire group, but it has clear limitations.
It causes us to ignore the characteristics of individual data and sometimes leads to a distorted perception of reality.
The problem arises when this distorted average solidifies into a 'normal standard of living'.
The problem is especially acute in societies like South Korea, where a culture that enforces uniformity in life is prevalent.
Because there is a standard course of life that has homogeneity.
The rule that says that the right thing to do is to graduate from school with excellent grades, enter a so-called Seoul National University, get a job at a large company, get married, and have children.
Sometimes this is considered the minimum standard of living.
The average becomes 'ordinary', meaning 'middle of the road, neither excellent nor inferior', which breaks my heart.
--- From "The World of Average Raising"

When the world's shared norms and averages become the norm, another problem arises.
It becomes difficult to raise objections that there are fundamental problems with the norms.
The moment you deviate from the average values ​​set by society, you can become an 'exception' or 'inferior' being, and the moment you protest against it, you are easily dismissed as 'exploding your inferiority complex'.
So most people try to fit into the standards of 'normal' set by society.
They continue to self-censor by asking themselves, 'Isn't this way of thinking (or behavior) abnormal?'
--- From "Am I Abnormal?"

The life of practice and recording is desirable in itself, but sometimes it acts as an implicit compulsion.
Because it is not appropriate to show off a lazy life where you just play, rest, or look good at home.
Society whispers quietly.
Anyone can become what they want if they try hard enough. It's just that you're lazy and lacking and can't get what you want.
Behind the lives of young people who aspire to be 'newbies', there exists a burden of having to work harder, and the resulting fatigue and lethargy.
There is also the problem of not respecting the lives of those on the other side, as much as we implicitly enforce a stereotypical image of a newborn.
A life that moves forward, a healthy and adventurous routine, may be desirable for some, but not for others.
People live their lives weighing different benefits and opportunity costs.
However, a life of playing or resting without considering these circumstances is transformed into a 'life of wasting time' or 'reckless and lazy behavior', and is also used as material to criticize the lives of others.

--- From "Are you also a newborn?"

In a world where inequality is rampant, not due to a lack of individual effort but rather to the system itself, the advice that if you're poor, you shouldn't have children seems persuasive at first glance.
This is because the perception that it is difficult to succeed despite hard work amidst layer upon layer of difficulties has become widespread among young people.
This realization led to self-mockery that this life was ruined.
And this self-help extends to advice to others in similar situations: if you're poor, don't have children.
The problem is that these arrows of self-help and resentment are ultimately directed at the 'poor'.
It is no longer surprising to hear people say things like, "Why do you have so many children when you're poor?" or to casually set a cutoff line for other people's happiness or desires and then give advice.
In a society where class inheritance continues, the advice people seek as a means of self-help paradoxically turns into a comment blaming the poor for their foolishness in having many children despite being poor.
It is justified to throw out sharp words that casually infringe on the freedom of individuals to have children.
--- From "Advice: 'If you're poor, don't have children'"

Behind the story of wanting to be treated as much as one has worked, there is a hidden desire that says, 'I have put in a lot of effort and built up my abilities until I got into college (or got a job).'
But there is a flaw in that desire and logic.
This is because entering a prestigious university or advancing to a local university is a result of various factors intertwined beyond one's individual ability and effort.
Overlooking this and engaging in unreasonable discrimination or a tight hierarchy can be considered a result of arrogance.
Koreans focus solely on competitively "improving their skills," but they need to realize that their skills may not have been achieved under fair conditions.
This is because I want to prevent the fairness I envision from being used as a tool to hastily judge and evaluate other people's lives.
--- From "I want to be treated as much as I put in effort"

As Martin Seligman, a pioneer in positive psychology, said, self-esteem is one of the necessary elements to live a happy and satisfying life.
We all know that self-affirmation gives us more motivation in life than self-loathing.
The problem is over-immersion.
When we consider it a panacea that can solve all of life's problems and judge ourselves and others by it, new problems arise.
For example, whenever I see someone being swayed by interpersonal relationships or the evaluations of others, I blame it on low self-esteem.
They often criticize celebrities or influencers for their mistakes, suggesting that their low self-esteem is the reason for their behavior, or offer advice to "raise your self-esteem" when listening to someone's concerns.
--- From "The Era of Self-Esteem"

I once gave a lecture at a high school on the topic of media literacy and bias.
During Q&A time, one student asked seriously.
“I want to get rid of all the stereotypes in my head, but it’s not going as planned.
When I encounter strangers on the street or in the subway, I unconsciously develop prejudices.
I feel like a hypocrite because my head and heart are separate.
“Can’t we just get rid of all the stereotypes in our minds?” I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should give the textbook answer that we must overcome prejudice, but then I spoke honestly.
It is impossible to completely overcome the fixed ideas in our minds and the instinct to avoid unfamiliar things.
He answered that there is no one in the world with a heart like a blank sheet of paper.
I need to recognize the instinct within me to hate the unfamiliar, but I need to be wary of that instinct.
By recognizing the existence of a pitiful and filthy mind within me and facing that pitifulness, I will gain the courage to overcome the fixed ideas that are like instincts.

--- From "The age-old controversy surrounding the phrase "You are T""