I still don't know myself
 |
Description
Book Introduction
A psychological care book that has touched the hearts of 100,000 readers.
Warm Habits of Hope from Neuroscience and Clinical Psychology The latest revised edition, which reads my heart more delicately, has been published. "If they knew my true self, everyone would leave." "What if they hate me? What if I fail?" "What's the point of living like this..." There are times when I test myself, overcome by negative emotions such as low self-esteem, lack of affection, perfectionism, anxiety, and depression. I try to pull myself together and live like everyone else by reading psychology or self-help books, but my 'symptoms' show no signs of improving. What's the problem? What should we do? "I Still Don't Know Myself," which uses brain science research to uncover the scientific causes of mental suffering and offers surprisingly thoughtful and kind comfort based on clinical psychology counseling cases, has been published in its latest revised edition. We have updated our research findings to strengthen the scientific basis for comfort and solutions. We've made technical terms easier to understand, making the book more readable, and we've streamlined the writing throughout the book. In addition, the message of comfort and hope has become even stronger with the addition of two themes ('Between Optimism and Hope' and 'Will Fight a Winning Fight') to Part 5, which encourages the courage to write a new future different from the past. |
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
prolog
Part 1: Try, but Don't Try Too Hard
Episode 1.
I'm tired of living with a mask on - low self-esteem
The Illusion of High Self-Esteem | A Thousand Masks
Episode 2.
Sorry, it's just my fault - Extroverted and Introverted Self-Esteem
Synonyms for the word 'tantrum' are low self-esteem | hungry, angry, empty self
Part 2: Do not subject others to temptation.
Episode 3.
Accept Me - Self-Acceptance
Why can't I just leave myself alone? | Can I spend the rest of my life with someone just like me?
Episode 4.
Will you still love me? Will you eventually leave me too? - Affection Deprivation and Dependence
Now it's your turn to protect yourself | I am moderately imperfect, moderately perfect
Part 3: Don't Be Swayed by Perfectionist Anxiety
Episode 5.
What if they hate me? What if I fail? - Anxiety and Perfectionism
This is fine | If it works, great, if not, don't bother
Episode 6.
There's no one like me in the world - Resentment and external attributions
People Who Self-Develop Their Own Feelings of Injustice | Your Past Is Not Your Future
Don't try to find meaning in Part 4.
Episode 7.
What did you mean by that thing you just said? - Sharp Defense
A puzzle game created by arbitrary assumptions and doubts | Where my buttons are pressed
Episode 8.
What's the point of living like this? - Depression and the meaning of life
How, Not Why | What Kind of Depression Are You Having?
Part 5: Don't talk about yourself carelessly.
Between optimism and hope | I will fight a winning battle | I will be graceful in failure | I still don't know myself.
Epilogue
Note | Glossary | References
Part 1: Try, but Don't Try Too Hard
Episode 1.
I'm tired of living with a mask on - low self-esteem
The Illusion of High Self-Esteem | A Thousand Masks
Episode 2.
Sorry, it's just my fault - Extroverted and Introverted Self-Esteem
Synonyms for the word 'tantrum' are low self-esteem | hungry, angry, empty self
Part 2: Do not subject others to temptation.
Episode 3.
Accept Me - Self-Acceptance
Why can't I just leave myself alone? | Can I spend the rest of my life with someone just like me?
Episode 4.
Will you still love me? Will you eventually leave me too? - Affection Deprivation and Dependence
Now it's your turn to protect yourself | I am moderately imperfect, moderately perfect
Part 3: Don't Be Swayed by Perfectionist Anxiety
Episode 5.
What if they hate me? What if I fail? - Anxiety and Perfectionism
This is fine | If it works, great, if not, don't bother
Episode 6.
There's no one like me in the world - Resentment and external attributions
People Who Self-Develop Their Own Feelings of Injustice | Your Past Is Not Your Future
Don't try to find meaning in Part 4.
Episode 7.
What did you mean by that thing you just said? - Sharp Defense
A puzzle game created by arbitrary assumptions and doubts | Where my buttons are pressed
Episode 8.
What's the point of living like this? - Depression and the meaning of life
How, Not Why | What Kind of Depression Are You Having?
Part 5: Don't talk about yourself carelessly.
Between optimism and hope | I will fight a winning battle | I will be graceful in failure | I still don't know myself.
Epilogue
Note | Glossary | References
Detailed image
Into the book
This book is meant to convince you.
For those of you who struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety and depression, and constantly find yourself being rude to yourself about the meaning of life and your own worth, I want to tell you that maybe you're wrong.
I wanted to keep telling you that you're not the person you know.
If I could, I really would like to keep telling you.
This book examines mental issues from two perspectives: neuroscience and clinical psychology.
The two fields of study overlap so much that it's a bit troubling to artificially separate them, but I want to keep talking about the same topic and tell you what your brain and your heart are saying to you.
--- p.8~9, from “Prologue”
If you are obsessed with the idea that your "self" and your "self as seen by others" must be the same, and if you mistakenly believe that this is a characteristic of a person with high self-esteem, then this idea needs to be corrected.
There may be aspects of yourself that are difficult for others to accept.
However, if you are overly conscious of this and give it too much meaning, you can easily end up having the illusion that only those who accept you, even your vulnerabilities, are your true friends and true love.
--- p.37, from “A Thousand Masks”
To avoid causing trouble, to avoid hearing unpleasant things, and to avoid failing in social life, we overly supervise our own actions.
The mind becomes overloaded as it cannot stay in the present moment, sometimes replaying the past and sometimes simulating countless future situations.
Of course, it is a good thing to put effort into your life.
But that's all there is to it.
If you put in the effort, that is enough. There is no need to strive for perfection while enduring excessive pain and destroying your own heart.
--- p.126~127, from “If it works, great, if not, then don’t worry”
As previously discussed, there is limited scientific evidence for the positive effects of catharsis experienced when expressing one's emotions explosively.
When we express anger, all of my emotional responses are focused solely on anger.
Because we don't have time to reflect on other emotions like loneliness, sadness, or a strange sense of relief, we fail to receive the messages they might be sending us.
We are deprived of the opportunity to gain unexpected insights or wisdom from emotional experiences other than anger.
Research has also shown that expressing anger and provoking others, which worsens social relationships, can lead to depression later on.
--- p.163, from “A Puzzle Game Created by Arbitrary Assumptions and Doubts”
Clearly, depression leaves its mark on the brain.
But even that trace will eventually fade away.
Don't try to find the meaning of your life by being conscious of traces.
Neither reputation, nor achievement, nor any object should be the meaning of my life.
Just focus on the 'how'.
How to work, how to play, how to love.
It's okay for us to live meaningless lives.
So what?
If the day is fun, it's good, if not, it's over.
I'll spend some money too.
--- p.189, from “How, Not Why”
In fact, a key element in experiencing hope is personal agency.
When I feel my life is sad and bitter, and I try to feed, shelter, and clothe myself well, and when I resolve to find the best solution to the problem at hand, if at some point a strange and ticklish expectation arises, that is hope.
In other words, hope is not a feeling that something good will happen, but rather a feeling of value that comes from making an effort even in the face of misfortune and absurdity.
People say that we should give up hope because the chances of success are so low, but they are wrong.
Psychologically, probability does not determine hope.
Only today's actions define my hope.
--- p.207, from “Between Optimism and Hope”
There is no such thing as a normal person and no such thing as a completely happy family.
Freud defined mental 'normality' as 'a little hysteric', 'a little paranoid', 'a little obsessive'.
This is what we are, huh?
We are sufficiently inadequate and completely imperfect.
This is fine.
For those of you who struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety and depression, and constantly find yourself being rude to yourself about the meaning of life and your own worth, I want to tell you that maybe you're wrong.
I wanted to keep telling you that you're not the person you know.
If I could, I really would like to keep telling you.
This book examines mental issues from two perspectives: neuroscience and clinical psychology.
The two fields of study overlap so much that it's a bit troubling to artificially separate them, but I want to keep talking about the same topic and tell you what your brain and your heart are saying to you.
--- p.8~9, from “Prologue”
If you are obsessed with the idea that your "self" and your "self as seen by others" must be the same, and if you mistakenly believe that this is a characteristic of a person with high self-esteem, then this idea needs to be corrected.
There may be aspects of yourself that are difficult for others to accept.
However, if you are overly conscious of this and give it too much meaning, you can easily end up having the illusion that only those who accept you, even your vulnerabilities, are your true friends and true love.
--- p.37, from “A Thousand Masks”
To avoid causing trouble, to avoid hearing unpleasant things, and to avoid failing in social life, we overly supervise our own actions.
The mind becomes overloaded as it cannot stay in the present moment, sometimes replaying the past and sometimes simulating countless future situations.
Of course, it is a good thing to put effort into your life.
But that's all there is to it.
If you put in the effort, that is enough. There is no need to strive for perfection while enduring excessive pain and destroying your own heart.
--- p.126~127, from “If it works, great, if not, then don’t worry”
As previously discussed, there is limited scientific evidence for the positive effects of catharsis experienced when expressing one's emotions explosively.
When we express anger, all of my emotional responses are focused solely on anger.
Because we don't have time to reflect on other emotions like loneliness, sadness, or a strange sense of relief, we fail to receive the messages they might be sending us.
We are deprived of the opportunity to gain unexpected insights or wisdom from emotional experiences other than anger.
Research has also shown that expressing anger and provoking others, which worsens social relationships, can lead to depression later on.
--- p.163, from “A Puzzle Game Created by Arbitrary Assumptions and Doubts”
Clearly, depression leaves its mark on the brain.
But even that trace will eventually fade away.
Don't try to find the meaning of your life by being conscious of traces.
Neither reputation, nor achievement, nor any object should be the meaning of my life.
Just focus on the 'how'.
How to work, how to play, how to love.
It's okay for us to live meaningless lives.
So what?
If the day is fun, it's good, if not, it's over.
I'll spend some money too.
--- p.189, from “How, Not Why”
In fact, a key element in experiencing hope is personal agency.
When I feel my life is sad and bitter, and I try to feed, shelter, and clothe myself well, and when I resolve to find the best solution to the problem at hand, if at some point a strange and ticklish expectation arises, that is hope.
In other words, hope is not a feeling that something good will happen, but rather a feeling of value that comes from making an effort even in the face of misfortune and absurdity.
People say that we should give up hope because the chances of success are so low, but they are wrong.
Psychologically, probability does not determine hope.
Only today's actions define my hope.
--- p.207, from “Between Optimism and Hope”
There is no such thing as a normal person and no such thing as a completely happy family.
Freud defined mental 'normality' as 'a little hysteric', 'a little paranoid', 'a little obsessive'.
This is what we are, huh?
We are sufficiently inadequate and completely imperfect.
This is fine.
--- p.248, from "Epilogue"
Publisher's Review
Don't treat yourself rudely
Your past is not your future
Warm Habits of Hope from Neuroscience and Clinical Psychology
The latest revised edition, which reads my heart more delicately, has been published.
"If they knew my true self, everyone would leave." "What if they hate me? What if I fail?" "What's the point of living like this..." There are times when I test myself, overcome by negative emotions such as low self-esteem, lack of affection, perfectionism, anxiety, and depression.
I try to pull myself together and live like everyone else by reading psychology or self-help books, but my 'symptoms' show no signs of improving.
What could be the problem? What should I do?
The latest revised edition of "I Still Don't Know Myself," which reveals the scientific causes of mental suffering through brain science research and offers surprisingly detailed and kind comfort based on clinical psychology counseling cases, has been published.
This book, chosen by 100,000 readers for its author's firm yet gentle message to break bad mental habits and nurture oneself, has returned with a more convenient writing style and richer content.
This latest edition updates the research findings to strengthen the scientific basis for comfort and solutions.
The brain science section, which was somewhat difficult to digest due to its focus on theoretical explanations, has been made easier to read by using easily understandable technical terms.
The more polished writing soothes the broken hearts of each and every reader, as if receiving personal counseling.
In addition, the message of comfort and hope has become even stronger with the addition of two themes ('Between Optimism and Hope' and 'Will Fight a Winning Fight') to Part 5, which encourages the courage to write a new future different from the past.
A thoughtful neuroscientist and keen clinical psychologist
A message of comfort and empathy that "strikes the bone and caresses the head."
In a world overflowing with unscientifically based "fake psychology" and false self-help books, the author wrote this book to share proven knowledge about clinical psychology and brain science with a wider audience.
An overloaded mind cannot be healed with mere words of comfort or wrong prescriptions.
Cool consolation is needed.
I need to take a good look at the signals my overworked brain and my agitated heart are sending me.
This is why the issues of the mind are dealt with by dividing them into ‘The Story of a Neuroscientist’ and ‘The Story of a Clinical Psychologist.’
Neuroscientists say:
Depression paralyzes the function of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for higher-order cognitive functions.
So, there is a high probability that you will make an impulsive choice without considering the consequences.
The clinical psychologist says:
To improve your mood while exploring the causes of depression.
Instead of carrying a heavy burden in search of meaning in life, encourage yourself and become a better master of yourself.
The mindset that the author emphasizes is the 'what should I do' spirit.
I urge you to break free from the perfectionist anxiety that destroys you, saying, "I did everything I could, so what can you do?"
Anyway, high self-esteem is a unicorn-like illusion that doesn't exist in this world, like a 'good advisor' or a 'child who doesn't need parental care,' so I advise you not to judge yourself with such harsh standards.
Sending off the winter of my heart and welcoming the spring within me
“I have the courage to reveal myself to the world.”
The virtue of this book is that it greatly helps broaden one's horizons in exploring oneself.
Only by knowing who I am can I become the master of my life.
But we often become rude to ourselves by imprisoning ourselves under uniform standards without knowing it.
If you try to hide your true self while breaking your own heart, you lose the opportunity to look into the various faces within yourself.
The 'Homework of the Day' that appears at the end of each chapter makes me look into my inner self.
When I think about it carefully, I find myself becoming more serious and resentful, and I find myself trying to embrace the flexibility to deal with it, thinking, "Let's try to hold on to myself so that I don't get swayed by my emotions."
What the latest revised edition adds, 'Between Optimism and Hope', emphasizes is 'realistic hope'.
Optimism without a plan leads to helplessness, but the hope of taking charge of my life drives me to take action and make an effort.
“After reading the book, I began to see the world differently.
“I have gained the courage to reveal myself to the world.” “I think I can look at this book and find comfort whenever I feel like I hate myself.” The author’s voice seems to be heard in the reviews of readers who have passed the winter of their hearts and are beginning to welcome the spring within themselves.
“It is not vain optimism, but a heavy hope that expands your world, telling you that you can laugh, be joyful, love, and be light.”
Your past is not your future
Warm Habits of Hope from Neuroscience and Clinical Psychology
The latest revised edition, which reads my heart more delicately, has been published.
"If they knew my true self, everyone would leave." "What if they hate me? What if I fail?" "What's the point of living like this..." There are times when I test myself, overcome by negative emotions such as low self-esteem, lack of affection, perfectionism, anxiety, and depression.
I try to pull myself together and live like everyone else by reading psychology or self-help books, but my 'symptoms' show no signs of improving.
What could be the problem? What should I do?
The latest revised edition of "I Still Don't Know Myself," which reveals the scientific causes of mental suffering through brain science research and offers surprisingly detailed and kind comfort based on clinical psychology counseling cases, has been published.
This book, chosen by 100,000 readers for its author's firm yet gentle message to break bad mental habits and nurture oneself, has returned with a more convenient writing style and richer content.
This latest edition updates the research findings to strengthen the scientific basis for comfort and solutions.
The brain science section, which was somewhat difficult to digest due to its focus on theoretical explanations, has been made easier to read by using easily understandable technical terms.
The more polished writing soothes the broken hearts of each and every reader, as if receiving personal counseling.
In addition, the message of comfort and hope has become even stronger with the addition of two themes ('Between Optimism and Hope' and 'Will Fight a Winning Fight') to Part 5, which encourages the courage to write a new future different from the past.
A thoughtful neuroscientist and keen clinical psychologist
A message of comfort and empathy that "strikes the bone and caresses the head."
In a world overflowing with unscientifically based "fake psychology" and false self-help books, the author wrote this book to share proven knowledge about clinical psychology and brain science with a wider audience.
An overloaded mind cannot be healed with mere words of comfort or wrong prescriptions.
Cool consolation is needed.
I need to take a good look at the signals my overworked brain and my agitated heart are sending me.
This is why the issues of the mind are dealt with by dividing them into ‘The Story of a Neuroscientist’ and ‘The Story of a Clinical Psychologist.’
Neuroscientists say:
Depression paralyzes the function of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for higher-order cognitive functions.
So, there is a high probability that you will make an impulsive choice without considering the consequences.
The clinical psychologist says:
To improve your mood while exploring the causes of depression.
Instead of carrying a heavy burden in search of meaning in life, encourage yourself and become a better master of yourself.
The mindset that the author emphasizes is the 'what should I do' spirit.
I urge you to break free from the perfectionist anxiety that destroys you, saying, "I did everything I could, so what can you do?"
Anyway, high self-esteem is a unicorn-like illusion that doesn't exist in this world, like a 'good advisor' or a 'child who doesn't need parental care,' so I advise you not to judge yourself with such harsh standards.
Sending off the winter of my heart and welcoming the spring within me
“I have the courage to reveal myself to the world.”
The virtue of this book is that it greatly helps broaden one's horizons in exploring oneself.
Only by knowing who I am can I become the master of my life.
But we often become rude to ourselves by imprisoning ourselves under uniform standards without knowing it.
If you try to hide your true self while breaking your own heart, you lose the opportunity to look into the various faces within yourself.
The 'Homework of the Day' that appears at the end of each chapter makes me look into my inner self.
When I think about it carefully, I find myself becoming more serious and resentful, and I find myself trying to embrace the flexibility to deal with it, thinking, "Let's try to hold on to myself so that I don't get swayed by my emotions."
What the latest revised edition adds, 'Between Optimism and Hope', emphasizes is 'realistic hope'.
Optimism without a plan leads to helplessness, but the hope of taking charge of my life drives me to take action and make an effort.
“After reading the book, I began to see the world differently.
“I have gained the courage to reveal myself to the world.” “I think I can look at this book and find comfort whenever I feel like I hate myself.” The author’s voice seems to be heard in the reviews of readers who have passed the winter of their hearts and are beginning to welcome the spring within themselves.
“It is not vain optimism, but a heavy hope that expands your world, telling you that you can laugh, be joyful, love, and be light.”
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Publication date: November 9, 2020
- Page count, weight, size: 264 pages | 404g | 140*210*16mm
- ISBN13: 9788934991298
- ISBN10: 8934991291
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