The latest work from Park Sang-mi, author of the best-selling book "Relationships Need Practice Too" and Korea's leading psychological counselor!
The psychology of self-healing that will guide you away from negative emotions and toward a positive life!
In a life where depression and helplessness are repeated
A psychological healing book for those of you looking for an escape!

'Life is not fun.
I don't want to do anything.
It's hard and painful.
'I'm going to end up living like this.' If you're always thinking like this, you may be addicted to negative emotions.
If you feel tired no matter how hard you try, don't want to do anything, and don't find life fun, then the negative emotions that have built up inside you without you even realizing it are making you more miserable.
Because we are in the bad habit of unconsciously choosing only negative emotions and thinking negatively, we are unable to recognize the real emotions that need to be properly cared for.


The reason we keep feeling depressed and depressed is because of the bad habits created by our depressed brain.
This means that when faced with difficult situations, we have become so accustomed to expressing and acting out negative emotions that we are trapped in the shackles of negative automatic thought patterns.
If you allow negative emotions to become behaviors, you are more likely to develop neurotic disorders such as depression and anxiety.
Moreover, the habit of repeatedly thinking negatively actually rapidly deteriorates brain function, thereby impairing cognitive function.
In fact, it is natural to feel negative emotions in negative situations, but in order to choose positive emotions in those situations, you need to train your mind on a regular basis.


"Depression is also a habit" is a book written by Park Sang-mi, a leading psychological counselor in Korea, based on her own experience and research, which contains all the methods for recognizing one's emotions and breaking free from negative automatic thoughts.
We introduce a psychological prescription for choosing good emotions and good thoughts in any situation, and how to create a habit of positive automatic thinking by repeating it for 21 days.
Additionally, the book includes light and refreshing photo images that can help you shake off feelings of depression and helplessness, so that you can feel like you are going outside for a walk or traveling while reading the book.
If you start studying emotions and habits with this book, which will make your life a little better every day, you will be able to enjoy a comfortable and happy life.

It's not that you don't want to act, but rather that you don't have the strength to take action, which is what makes you feel helpless.
Helplessness is more dangerous than depression.
If the vicious cycle of 'anxiety-helplessness-self-reproach' is repeated, self-efficacy will decrease and you will fall into a swamp of self-abandonment, losing the strength to even struggle.
During this process, negative thoughts also automatically arise in abundance.
'Why am I so lazy?'
'Why am I like this?'
'I'm beyond help.'
'I can't get out of here.'
Maybe you made a mistake at work and got severely reprimanded, or someone you trusted betrayed you, or you suffered a huge loss in an investment, or your health suddenly deteriorated…
If you feel helpless because there is a 'big reason' for it, you will feel less guilty.
However, if you feel helpless without any 'reason', you will suffer from severe self-reproach.
While you feel pathetic for falling into a state of helplessness when nothing is particularly difficult, your self-esteem plummets to the bottom.

Helplessness is the feeling we experience when we feel we have no control over something.
When you become lethargic, your concentration decreases and your memory deteriorates.
Your motivation will disappear and you will not want to do anything, so your energy will also decrease.
You can't just leave me to my own devices at this point.
I need to get back on my feet and find self-control, the belief that I can control my own life.
I need to stop obsessing over things I can't change and start being overwhelmed by external stimuli. I need to trust myself and find the strength I possess.
I need to face the situation I'm in and look at it properly.
That power exists in everyone, and it exists in me too.
I just couldn't watch because I was having a hard time.
---From "Part 1: Studying Emotions to No Longer Be Swayed - Helplessness, p.62-63"

Clayton Paul Alderfer, an American psychologist who expanded on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, argued that humans have three needs: existence, relatedness, and growth, through his ERG (Existence, Relatedness & Growth) theory.
Growth needs are an extension of Maslow's 4th and 5th levels of needs.
As you can see, wanting to be a better person and do well is a basic desire.
When people feel that they are growing, they feel hopeful, they begin to accept themselves, and their sense of competence increases.
When I believe that I am growing, I love myself more.


Don't compare yourself to others, focus on your own growth.
Just think about realizing yourself and developing your potential.
People with a strong inferiority complex only try to package themselves.
Stop hiding and be honest with yourself as you are, and think about what your growth needs are.
When I become a benefactor to the world, when I feel that I and others are growing together, I will realize that I am a unique and precious being in the world.
---From "Part 1: Studying Emotions to No Longer Be Swayed - Competence, p.117-119"

Positive and negative brains are not genetically determined.
It's just our unconsciousness that leads us that way.
The unconscious realm is influenced by my childhood upbringing and experiences.
Many experiences of failure or fear can accumulate to create a negative unconscious.
But even those unconscious areas can be reset through positive thinking habits.
What kind of thinking habits does your brain have? Do you tend to have positive automatic thoughts? Do you tend to have negative automatic thoughts? Some might say it's not always positive or always negative, but rather changes depending on your condition.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by a lot of things going on at once, you might be more inclined to think negatively. However, if you're feeling healthy, in a good mood, and have no worries, it might be easier to think positively.
I will practice recognizing and changing the thinking mistakes hidden in my automatic thoughts.
Practicing positive thinking can also help you break the habit of changing your attitude depending on your mood.
---From "Part 2: Studying Habits for a Bright and Shining Life - Broken Thoughts That Ruin Me pp. 259-260"

People who grow up with perfectionist parents have a low self-esteem.
Because the choices I made were often denied.
You come to think of yourself as someone who cannot live up to other people's expectations and satisfy their needs.
This also affects interpersonal relationships.
So I often think about this.
"Why am I so sensitive? Why do people hurt me so much? Why am I always so listless and insecure about everything?" It's not that the person is lacking, but rather that the expectations of those around them, or even of themselves, are so high that they can't easily be satisfied and end up feeling inferior.
This is the hallmark of a negative perfectionist.
They are much stricter with me than with others.
If you look closely, they are all bundles of strengths, but they have a habit of not seeing their strengths at all and only seeing their weaknesses.

We often, knowingly or unknowingly, have the idea that we should be superior to others, or that we are superior.
Me too.
He may seem humble, but inside he says, 'I want to do better.'
I want to get better.
I want to grow more.
The desire to be wiser is very strong.
Although we may not express it verbally, we all honestly have a desire to be more successful, to develop more, and to grow more than others.
We all have a sense of superiority and a sense of competition.
Everyone does that.
But if I don't express those feelings and just suffer inside, I end up berating myself too much, thinking, "I want to do better, but why can't I? Why am I so lazy? Why can't I put in the effort?"
And I focus too much on my flaws.
They underestimate physical flaws, appearance, and abilities.

Perfectionism can serve as a motivator for achievement, but it can also have negative psychological effects.
In fact, people with perfectionist tendencies are said to experience more negative emotions.
Several psychological studies have shown a strong correlation between perfectionism and depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and eating disorders.
Negative perfectionists, in particular, suffer more psychological distress because they fear negative evaluations from others and strive to achieve excessively high goals, but often end up dissatisfied.
The difference between positive and negative perfectionists lies in whether or not their self-esteem is lowered when they fail to achieve their high goals.
Negative perfectionists think of their efforts in binary terms, either as success or failure, and therefore define failure to achieve a goal as "failure."
Meanwhile, positive perfectionists are less likely to think in dichotomous terms.
All perfectionists feel frustrated and distressed when they fail to achieve their goals.
However, if you endure the frustration after failure and believe that you can do better next time, you will develop positive emotions.
---From "Part 2: Studying Habits for a Bright and Shining Life - How Negative Perfectionists Become Happy, pp. 276-279"

We all have a desire to be happy, to laugh, and to live cheerfully.
It means that you can develop the strength to do your best to live cheerfully even when you are in pain.
There is a sentence like this in the book Theory of the Novel by Georg Lukács.
“Cheerfulness is not the absence of suffering or the stability of existence, but rather actions and responses that arise from inner desire.”
This is a sentence I really like.
There are people who always live cheerfully and brightly no matter what the circumstances.
Is it because we live in a stable environment, free from suffering, that we can live brightly? As Lukács said, cheerfulness isn't something given by circumstances, but rather something that springs from an inner desire.
“I want to live brightly.
“I want to find happiness even in misfortune.”

Cheerfulness is something that starts from my desires.
You don't laugh because you're happy, but because you want to be happy, and you live a more cheerful life, and then happiness follows naturally.
Laughing a lot, thinking positively, trying to live as cheerfully as possible - these are my efforts, choices, and habits that determine the direction of my life.

---From "Part 2: Studying Habits for a Bright and Shining Life - The Secrets of People Who Live Brightly and Cheerfully, pp. 290-291"