Embracing anxiety and moving forward
 |
Description
Book Introduction
We need the courage to walk imperfectly.
Taking care of myself right now, in this place
A whole new way of dealing with emotional signals
What do you do when emotions like fear, uncertainty, guilt, shame, anger, and sadness come flooding in? We've long believed that eliminating anxiety is the only way to happiness.
But have you ever considered that this belief actually makes us more anxious? Instead of eliminating anxiety, this book offers a new way to live with it.
While experiencing the fear of death and the pain of loss, psychotherapist Kim Hyun-kyung learned a new healing method through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which allows her to move forward without trying to ignore or control her pain, by facing and embracing her anxiety.
Acceptance and commitment therapy is a psychotherapy method that accepts emotions as they are without suppressing anxiety and focuses on the values that are important to oneself.
In other words, rather than trying to eliminate anxiety, moving forward with anxiety makes recovery in life possible.
The author views anxiety not as an object of analysis but as a companion to life, and shows how we can find the courage to live with that emotion.
Before becoming a psychologist, the author continued to practice observing and empathizing with his own anxieties as a human being, and realized that “life is not a competition toward perfection, but a journey of understanding oneself in imperfection.”
The process, realization, and practical methods of 'understanding, accepting, committing to, and living with anxiety' are contained in 'Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward'.
Life doesn't expect perfection from us.
It just requires the courage to embrace yourself tenderly even in the midst of anxiety.
Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward teaches you how to stop fighting anxiety and find meaning in it.
The process of understanding oneself through anxiety and returning to the center of one's existence ultimately leads to the psychology of recovery, of living one's true self.
When you close this book, you will not find your anxiety disappearing, but rather finding the courage to live again in the midst of that anxiety.
Taking care of myself right now, in this place
A whole new way of dealing with emotional signals
What do you do when emotions like fear, uncertainty, guilt, shame, anger, and sadness come flooding in? We've long believed that eliminating anxiety is the only way to happiness.
But have you ever considered that this belief actually makes us more anxious? Instead of eliminating anxiety, this book offers a new way to live with it.
While experiencing the fear of death and the pain of loss, psychotherapist Kim Hyun-kyung learned a new healing method through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which allows her to move forward without trying to ignore or control her pain, by facing and embracing her anxiety.
Acceptance and commitment therapy is a psychotherapy method that accepts emotions as they are without suppressing anxiety and focuses on the values that are important to oneself.
In other words, rather than trying to eliminate anxiety, moving forward with anxiety makes recovery in life possible.
The author views anxiety not as an object of analysis but as a companion to life, and shows how we can find the courage to live with that emotion.
Before becoming a psychologist, the author continued to practice observing and empathizing with his own anxieties as a human being, and realized that “life is not a competition toward perfection, but a journey of understanding oneself in imperfection.”
The process, realization, and practical methods of 'understanding, accepting, committing to, and living with anxiety' are contained in 'Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward'.
Life doesn't expect perfection from us.
It just requires the courage to embrace yourself tenderly even in the midst of anxiety.
Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward teaches you how to stop fighting anxiety and find meaning in it.
The process of understanding oneself through anxiety and returning to the center of one's existence ultimately leads to the psychology of recovery, of living one's true self.
When you close this book, you will not find your anxiety disappearing, but rather finding the courage to live again in the midst of that anxiety.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Recommendation: A Journey for a Heart That Never Loses Its Light Even in Anxiety | Moon Jin-geon
Recommendation: Finding My Value Beyond Anxiety | Lee Jeong-mi
As we begin, life doesn't expect us to be perfect.
Guide: A New Perspective on Life: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Chapter 1: Why Do Thoughts Make Me Anxious?
_Your anxiety is not your fault
1-1 On Pain and Suffering, That Darkness
1-2 What we can do when we can't
1-3 Never think of a polar bear
1-4 The voice that drives me
1-5 The Cinema in My Head
Chapter 2: Observing the Emotion of Anxiety
_Cognitive defusion
2-1 It is not the mind that sees, but the mind that sees the mind.
2-2 I'm thinking about being depressed
2-3 I'll pass on the popcorn this time.
2-4 A deer floating on leaves
2-5 Mom, hug me
Chapter 3: Letting Go of Mental Resistance
_reception
3-1 Give your mind space
3-2 If you are willing to experience it, pass through me.
3-3 I want to suck out all the marrow of this guy called life
3-4 The Bus Driver of Your Life
3-5 I decide to hold the pain as if I were holding a delicate flower in my hand.
Chapter 4: Practice Staying Here and Now
_Contact with the present
4-1 A heart that is weak but does not waver
4-2 Wait a minute! Just finish this…
4-3 How many breathtaking and exciting moments have there been?
4-4 What to do when your mind wanders from your breath
4-5 You are waking up, what are you afraid of?
Chapter 5: The Process of Finding the True Self
_Self as Context
5-1 I am the context in which my life unfolds.
5-2 You are bigger than you think
5-3 I change every day, but I like that you stay the same
5-4 How to look at myself from a cosmic perspective
5-5 Ah! Now I know who I am.
Chapter 6: The Value of My Life Next to Pain
The Power of Self-Compassion
6-1 That day, under the bunk bed
6-2 Where your pain is, there is your value.
6-3 There is mystery even in the midst of exhaustion.
6-4 Now is hotter than the cold eternity
6-5 Attend your own funeral
Chapter 7: Living Completely While Imperfect
_Dedication
7-1 Important questions are answered throughout life.
7-2 Pain and joy enter through the same door.
7-3 Be like a game
7-4 Traces of a Giant Dancing in Despair
7-5 Everyone gets lost at least once, and everyone makes their way at least once.
Chapter 8: Freedom from Emotional Pain
_Sustainable Life
8-1 A heart that fills the broken gaps with gold
8-2 The greatest love I give myself
8-3 If everyone is not special, then everyone is special.
8-4 Life becomes clearer than a photograph
8-5 I hope my heart is at peace
In conclusion, anxiety no longer consumes me.
Recommendation: Finding My Value Beyond Anxiety | Lee Jeong-mi
As we begin, life doesn't expect us to be perfect.
Guide: A New Perspective on Life: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Chapter 1: Why Do Thoughts Make Me Anxious?
_Your anxiety is not your fault
1-1 On Pain and Suffering, That Darkness
1-2 What we can do when we can't
1-3 Never think of a polar bear
1-4 The voice that drives me
1-5 The Cinema in My Head
Chapter 2: Observing the Emotion of Anxiety
_Cognitive defusion
2-1 It is not the mind that sees, but the mind that sees the mind.
2-2 I'm thinking about being depressed
2-3 I'll pass on the popcorn this time.
2-4 A deer floating on leaves
2-5 Mom, hug me
Chapter 3: Letting Go of Mental Resistance
_reception
3-1 Give your mind space
3-2 If you are willing to experience it, pass through me.
3-3 I want to suck out all the marrow of this guy called life
3-4 The Bus Driver of Your Life
3-5 I decide to hold the pain as if I were holding a delicate flower in my hand.
Chapter 4: Practice Staying Here and Now
_Contact with the present
4-1 A heart that is weak but does not waver
4-2 Wait a minute! Just finish this…
4-3 How many breathtaking and exciting moments have there been?
4-4 What to do when your mind wanders from your breath
4-5 You are waking up, what are you afraid of?
Chapter 5: The Process of Finding the True Self
_Self as Context
5-1 I am the context in which my life unfolds.
5-2 You are bigger than you think
5-3 I change every day, but I like that you stay the same
5-4 How to look at myself from a cosmic perspective
5-5 Ah! Now I know who I am.
Chapter 6: The Value of My Life Next to Pain
The Power of Self-Compassion
6-1 That day, under the bunk bed
6-2 Where your pain is, there is your value.
6-3 There is mystery even in the midst of exhaustion.
6-4 Now is hotter than the cold eternity
6-5 Attend your own funeral
Chapter 7: Living Completely While Imperfect
_Dedication
7-1 Important questions are answered throughout life.
7-2 Pain and joy enter through the same door.
7-3 Be like a game
7-4 Traces of a Giant Dancing in Despair
7-5 Everyone gets lost at least once, and everyone makes their way at least once.
Chapter 8: Freedom from Emotional Pain
_Sustainable Life
8-1 A heart that fills the broken gaps with gold
8-2 The greatest love I give myself
8-3 If everyone is not special, then everyone is special.
8-4 Life becomes clearer than a photograph
8-5 I hope my heart is at peace
In conclusion, anxiety no longer consumes me.
Detailed image
Into the book
Everyone goes through painful times.
I believe that if we gently embrace and heal the wounds that time gives us, those wounds will eventually heal.
Life doesn't expect perfection from us.
Instead, ask:
Do you have the courage to keep walking even when you are broken?
This book is the answer to that question.
I encourage you to find your own answers, and I hope this book will help you on that journey.
--- From "Life doesn't expect perfection from us"
Life seems to reveal its true colors only after we have fallen apart.
And only then do we learn new ways to sustain ourselves.
I've learned that trying to avoid pain just makes life more dense and harsh.
Even with the pain, I want to walk in a truly precious direction.
Accept that you can't do anything.
It's not giving up.
It is the most reliable way to rebuild my broken life.
--- From "What We Can Do When We Can't"
Our minds are amazingly sophisticated and powerful.
They have outstanding powers of imagination, reasoning, and creation, but at the same time, their functions of criticizing, comparing, and judging are also top-notch.
He is adept at finding flaws and constantly dissecting himself.
Fortunately, however, all of these functions are 'normal' tasks of the mind.
The important thing is whether you can just watch without being swayed by that voice.
That's psychological flexibility and acceptance.
Not responding to everything that is said, just listening and letting it go.
Realizing that it is just what the mind says.
Sometimes you have to know how to smile and distance yourself, thinking, 'Here we go again.'
--- From "The Voice That Drives Me"
The thoughts are familiar and intimate.
Sometimes it feels like our identity.
But just because something is familiar doesn't mean it's true.
This change doesn't happen overnight.
It takes a long time, and sometimes there are moments when it feels like we're back to square one.
But if you practice a little bit every day, you will gradually be able to pass by it as an observer without being swayed by your thoughts.
--- From "I'm Thinking I'm Depressed"
When you have uncomfortable feelings or thoughts, don't ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way right now?" and let the thoughts grow bigger. Instead, acknowledge them by saying, "I'm feeling this way right now."
There is no way to know whether the passengers who boarded the bus will get off at this stop or not.
But one day, he rings the stop bell and disappears.
--- From "The Bus Driver of Your Life"
My feelings, my longing, my confusion, my calm…
The 'me in itself' that lives and moves within all those unnameable moments, that is existence.
--- From "The Context in Which My Life Unfolds"
Acceptance and commitment therapy challenges this approach.
Of course, achievements are important.
But it can't define you.
Instead, acceptance and commitment therapy asks:
'At this moment, what kind of person do you want to be?'
'What is your way of being?'
'With what attitude did you walk this path?'
'Does this choice resonate with your heart right now?'
That's how value comes.
No need to force speed, no need to compare, no need to judge what has been achieved.
Ask yourself what direction you are heading in your life now, and whether that direction is truly valuable to you.
I believe that if we gently embrace and heal the wounds that time gives us, those wounds will eventually heal.
Life doesn't expect perfection from us.
Instead, ask:
Do you have the courage to keep walking even when you are broken?
This book is the answer to that question.
I encourage you to find your own answers, and I hope this book will help you on that journey.
--- From "Life doesn't expect perfection from us"
Life seems to reveal its true colors only after we have fallen apart.
And only then do we learn new ways to sustain ourselves.
I've learned that trying to avoid pain just makes life more dense and harsh.
Even with the pain, I want to walk in a truly precious direction.
Accept that you can't do anything.
It's not giving up.
It is the most reliable way to rebuild my broken life.
--- From "What We Can Do When We Can't"
Our minds are amazingly sophisticated and powerful.
They have outstanding powers of imagination, reasoning, and creation, but at the same time, their functions of criticizing, comparing, and judging are also top-notch.
He is adept at finding flaws and constantly dissecting himself.
Fortunately, however, all of these functions are 'normal' tasks of the mind.
The important thing is whether you can just watch without being swayed by that voice.
That's psychological flexibility and acceptance.
Not responding to everything that is said, just listening and letting it go.
Realizing that it is just what the mind says.
Sometimes you have to know how to smile and distance yourself, thinking, 'Here we go again.'
--- From "The Voice That Drives Me"
The thoughts are familiar and intimate.
Sometimes it feels like our identity.
But just because something is familiar doesn't mean it's true.
This change doesn't happen overnight.
It takes a long time, and sometimes there are moments when it feels like we're back to square one.
But if you practice a little bit every day, you will gradually be able to pass by it as an observer without being swayed by your thoughts.
--- From "I'm Thinking I'm Depressed"
When you have uncomfortable feelings or thoughts, don't ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way right now?" and let the thoughts grow bigger. Instead, acknowledge them by saying, "I'm feeling this way right now."
There is no way to know whether the passengers who boarded the bus will get off at this stop or not.
But one day, he rings the stop bell and disappears.
--- From "The Bus Driver of Your Life"
My feelings, my longing, my confusion, my calm…
The 'me in itself' that lives and moves within all those unnameable moments, that is existence.
--- From "The Context in Which My Life Unfolds"
Acceptance and commitment therapy challenges this approach.
Of course, achievements are important.
But it can't define you.
Instead, acceptance and commitment therapy asks:
'At this moment, what kind of person do you want to be?'
'What is your way of being?'
'With what attitude did you walk this path?'
'Does this choice resonate with your heart right now?'
That's how value comes.
No need to force speed, no need to compare, no need to judge what has been achieved.
Ask yourself what direction you are heading in your life now, and whether that direction is truly valuable to you.
--- From "There is mystery even in an exhausting life"
Publisher's Review
A whole new way to deal with anxiety
Anxiety comes without warning.
When your heart pounds for no reason, when your mind is in turmoil, when an inexplicable tension creeps in among people, when something you thought was someone else's problem happens to you... we try to ignore those feelings and think it'll be okay.
Or you push yourself to work harder and be more perfect.
However, the more I ignore the feeling of anxiety or push myself to overcome my anxiety, the more anxious I become, and the anxiety does not go away, but instead reappears in a different form.
We now need to address anxiety in a different way.
“Don’t push away your anxiety, stay with it.”
Hyun-Kyung Kim, a psychotherapist and author of "Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward," sees anxiety not as an emotion to be eliminated, but as a sign of life.
That signal means there is something important to me right now.
And acceptance and commitment therapy is a new way to interpret those signals.
It's about reconnecting with your emotions without trying to change them.
For the author, this method was not a psychological theory, but a way to survive life.
Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward transforms the way we deal with anxiety.
It is an attitude of trying to understand the feeling of anxiety rather than fighting it.
Anxiety is not an enemy that torments me, but a guide that points me in the direction of life.
This attitude comes from the courage to not give up on yourself.
So what we need to do is not to eliminate anxiety, but to use that emotion to recognize what we value.
That realization is the starting point of recovery.
The Psychology of Recovery for the Days to Come
Before becoming a psychotherapist, the author went through the darkest times of his life as a person.
The fear of death and the pain of loss brought back endless anxiety.
When I look back on the times when I pushed away those feelings, my heart always breaks more.
Then I encountered acceptance and commitment therapy and learned how to be with my emotions rather than trying to get rid of them.
This was how I recovered my inner self.
This book records the author's own practice process and results of walking with anxiety in his own life.
#1.
Saying, "Anxious thoughts are passing by."
When the fear of anxiety comes, there are times when it feels like a wave is washing over you and you can't breathe.
Your heart may beat faster, your fingertips may get cold, and your mind may be filled with thoughts like, 'I might die if this keeps up.'
That's when you have to realize that you are lost in thought.
And instead of saying, “I feel anxious,” say, “Anxious thoughts are passing through me.”
Let anxiety flow away like clouds in the sky.
When you begin to see thoughts as passing phenomena rather than truths, your mind will no longer be caught up in them.
Your breathing will gradually stabilize and your body will relax.
This is a method of 'cognitive defusion' in acceptance and commitment therapy, which allows you to realize that while you cannot control your thoughts, you have the freedom not to be swayed by them.
#2.
Acknowledging that 'this feeling is with me right now'
If you go through a time of loss and find yourself crying several times a day, don't suppress your emotions and let yourself cry.
Just close your eyes and feel the sensation rising from your chest.
“This is not a bad feeling, it’s something I need right now.” When you don’t judge your emotions, a quiet space is created in the center of your mind.
There is no oppression or negativity in it.
All that remains is the simple fact that 'this feeling is with me now.'
This is the 'mindfulness and acceptance' method of acceptance and commitment therapy. By facing pain rather than avoiding it, you can see that anxious emotions are not your enemy but a path to healing yourself.
#3.
Keep going even if you're not perfect.
Anxiety is still there.
But now let's embrace that anxiety and move forward.
Then the pressure to be perfect will disappear.
You will be able to do the best you can and act despite your anxiety.
Although action doesn't completely eliminate fear, it still creates meaning.
This is the 'committed action' of acceptance and commitment therapy.
You will realize that your anxious mind does not disappear when you stop it, but only finds its place when you start moving.
Embracing anxiety and moving forward
Life always takes unpredictable turns.
Unwanted things happen and plans often go awry.
At times like that, we blame ourselves or reproach ourselves, saying, 'Why am I like this when I can't even endure this much?'
The author says that that very moment is the most important point.
Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, it's time to practice protecting myself within that anxiety.
And the beginning of recovery is when you embrace your anxiety and move forward.
Because life doesn't end in perfection, it has to continue.
Therefore, we do not need to be perfect, we just need to have the courage to keep walking imperfectly.
The author says self-compassion is the key to recovery.
The words, “It’s okay, I’m here,” hold my broken heart together.
There is a habit of self-criticism in suppressing anxiety.
But let's acknowledge the feelings and look at them with affection.
Little by little, you will be able to make peace with yourself.
And now anxiety will not be a flaw to be eliminated, but a sensation that allows us to feel life deeply.
Anxiety is paradoxically proof that I am alive and a reason to love my imperfect self even more.
I hope that through “Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward,” you will gain the strength to keep moving forward even in the face of anxiety.
This book presents a present where we live with anxiety, rather than a future where anxiety disappears.
Anxiety comes without warning.
When your heart pounds for no reason, when your mind is in turmoil, when an inexplicable tension creeps in among people, when something you thought was someone else's problem happens to you... we try to ignore those feelings and think it'll be okay.
Or you push yourself to work harder and be more perfect.
However, the more I ignore the feeling of anxiety or push myself to overcome my anxiety, the more anxious I become, and the anxiety does not go away, but instead reappears in a different form.
We now need to address anxiety in a different way.
“Don’t push away your anxiety, stay with it.”
Hyun-Kyung Kim, a psychotherapist and author of "Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward," sees anxiety not as an emotion to be eliminated, but as a sign of life.
That signal means there is something important to me right now.
And acceptance and commitment therapy is a new way to interpret those signals.
It's about reconnecting with your emotions without trying to change them.
For the author, this method was not a psychological theory, but a way to survive life.
Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward transforms the way we deal with anxiety.
It is an attitude of trying to understand the feeling of anxiety rather than fighting it.
Anxiety is not an enemy that torments me, but a guide that points me in the direction of life.
This attitude comes from the courage to not give up on yourself.
So what we need to do is not to eliminate anxiety, but to use that emotion to recognize what we value.
That realization is the starting point of recovery.
The Psychology of Recovery for the Days to Come
Before becoming a psychotherapist, the author went through the darkest times of his life as a person.
The fear of death and the pain of loss brought back endless anxiety.
When I look back on the times when I pushed away those feelings, my heart always breaks more.
Then I encountered acceptance and commitment therapy and learned how to be with my emotions rather than trying to get rid of them.
This was how I recovered my inner self.
This book records the author's own practice process and results of walking with anxiety in his own life.
#1.
Saying, "Anxious thoughts are passing by."
When the fear of anxiety comes, there are times when it feels like a wave is washing over you and you can't breathe.
Your heart may beat faster, your fingertips may get cold, and your mind may be filled with thoughts like, 'I might die if this keeps up.'
That's when you have to realize that you are lost in thought.
And instead of saying, “I feel anxious,” say, “Anxious thoughts are passing through me.”
Let anxiety flow away like clouds in the sky.
When you begin to see thoughts as passing phenomena rather than truths, your mind will no longer be caught up in them.
Your breathing will gradually stabilize and your body will relax.
This is a method of 'cognitive defusion' in acceptance and commitment therapy, which allows you to realize that while you cannot control your thoughts, you have the freedom not to be swayed by them.
#2.
Acknowledging that 'this feeling is with me right now'
If you go through a time of loss and find yourself crying several times a day, don't suppress your emotions and let yourself cry.
Just close your eyes and feel the sensation rising from your chest.
“This is not a bad feeling, it’s something I need right now.” When you don’t judge your emotions, a quiet space is created in the center of your mind.
There is no oppression or negativity in it.
All that remains is the simple fact that 'this feeling is with me now.'
This is the 'mindfulness and acceptance' method of acceptance and commitment therapy. By facing pain rather than avoiding it, you can see that anxious emotions are not your enemy but a path to healing yourself.
#3.
Keep going even if you're not perfect.
Anxiety is still there.
But now let's embrace that anxiety and move forward.
Then the pressure to be perfect will disappear.
You will be able to do the best you can and act despite your anxiety.
Although action doesn't completely eliminate fear, it still creates meaning.
This is the 'committed action' of acceptance and commitment therapy.
You will realize that your anxious mind does not disappear when you stop it, but only finds its place when you start moving.
Embracing anxiety and moving forward
Life always takes unpredictable turns.
Unwanted things happen and plans often go awry.
At times like that, we blame ourselves or reproach ourselves, saying, 'Why am I like this when I can't even endure this much?'
The author says that that very moment is the most important point.
Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, it's time to practice protecting myself within that anxiety.
And the beginning of recovery is when you embrace your anxiety and move forward.
Because life doesn't end in perfection, it has to continue.
Therefore, we do not need to be perfect, we just need to have the courage to keep walking imperfectly.
The author says self-compassion is the key to recovery.
The words, “It’s okay, I’m here,” hold my broken heart together.
There is a habit of self-criticism in suppressing anxiety.
But let's acknowledge the feelings and look at them with affection.
Little by little, you will be able to make peace with yourself.
And now anxiety will not be a flaw to be eliminated, but a sensation that allows us to feel life deeply.
Anxiety is paradoxically proof that I am alive and a reason to love my imperfect self even more.
I hope that through “Embracing Anxiety and Moving Forward,” you will gain the strength to keep moving forward even in the face of anxiety.
This book presents a present where we live with anxiety, rather than a future where anxiety disappears.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: November 7, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 320 pages | 142*210*30mm
- ISBN13: 9791171831463
- ISBN10: 1171831463
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