Adler says, "Why do I keep comparing myself?"
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Description
Book Introduction
Adler's Guide to Comparison and Inferiority
“Why do I always compare myself to others?”, “Why do I always feel inadequate?”, “Is it really impossible for inferiority complex to go away?”
Adler firmly answers this question that every modern person has.
“You can’t get rid of inferiority complex.
“It can only be used.”
"Why Do I Keep Comparing" is a book that addresses the topic of comparison and inferiority complex using the core concepts of Adlerian psychology.
Chapter 1 analyzes the 'psychology of comparison' and shows that the reason comparison is painful is not in the object, but in the way it is interpreted.
Chapter 2 examines the masks and defense mechanisms used to hide feelings of inferiority, and warns of the dangers of 'other-esteem', which is trapped in the gaze of others.
Chapter 3 views aging as an opportunity for maturity and redesign, and teaches us how to regain direction rather than impatience.
Chapter 4 presents specific ways to transform feelings of inferiority into fuel for growth through reading emotions, encouraging words, small actions, and responsible choices.
The final five chapters emphasize listening to your inner voice, the courage to begin even if you're not perfect, and guide you on the path to taking control of your life.
This book interprets Adlerian psychology in contemporary language, creating practical tools that readers can immediately apply in their daily lives.
To those who are tired of comparison and inferiority complex, “It’s okay as it is.
But it conveys the message that “we can go further.”
“Why do I always compare myself to others?”, “Why do I always feel inadequate?”, “Is it really impossible for inferiority complex to go away?”
Adler firmly answers this question that every modern person has.
“You can’t get rid of inferiority complex.
“It can only be used.”
"Why Do I Keep Comparing" is a book that addresses the topic of comparison and inferiority complex using the core concepts of Adlerian psychology.
Chapter 1 analyzes the 'psychology of comparison' and shows that the reason comparison is painful is not in the object, but in the way it is interpreted.
Chapter 2 examines the masks and defense mechanisms used to hide feelings of inferiority, and warns of the dangers of 'other-esteem', which is trapped in the gaze of others.
Chapter 3 views aging as an opportunity for maturity and redesign, and teaches us how to regain direction rather than impatience.
Chapter 4 presents specific ways to transform feelings of inferiority into fuel for growth through reading emotions, encouraging words, small actions, and responsible choices.
The final five chapters emphasize listening to your inner voice, the courage to begin even if you're not perfect, and guide you on the path to taking control of your life.
This book interprets Adlerian psychology in contemporary language, creating practical tools that readers can immediately apply in their daily lives.
To those who are tired of comparison and inferiority complex, “It’s okay as it is.
But it conveys the message that “we can go further.”
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
prolog
Who are you comparing yourself to? (9)
Chapter 1.
Where does the comparison begin?
Part 1.
Why I feel uncomfortable when I see someone doing better than me
A photo that shakes up an otherwise uneventful day (13)
-Comparison is an interpretation, not an emotion (16)
-SNS stimulates me, and I collapse (19)
-My desire hidden in envy (22)
Part 2.
Why do I feel like I'm the only one left behind?
-The world moves faster than me (27)
-The impatience of 'this is all I can do' (30)
-All competition begins with 'me' (33)
Part 3.
The emotional chain created by comparison: desire, inferiority complex, and self-esteem.
-The seeds of inferiority complex planted in childhood (38)
-Why do we want to be recognized? (42)
-Why do I feel anxious even when I do well? (46)
-When I feel like the me that others see is the real me (49)
Chapter 2.
Why do we deny our inferiority complex?
Part 1.
Inferiority complex: a feeling you want to hide
-Pretend nothing is wrong, but your heart is running away (55)
-Gaze toward others, defense toward myself (59)
-The mask of superiority that covers up inferiority complex (63)
Part 2.
The mental habit that cuts me down
-People who are accustomed to self-reproach (68)
- Low self-esteem and repeated comparisons (72)
-The Trap of Unhappy Relief (76)
Part 3.
Why you feel anxious even if you look fine on the outside
-Smiling but shaking (81)
-Shaky self-esteem even when it seems perfect (85)
-A mind that cannot exist without recognition (89)
Chapter 3.
Wisdom for the Second Half of Life (Life Gets Clearer as You Get Older)
Part 1.
Things you can only see when you let go of the obsession of youth
-I thought youth was everything (97)
-Why was I afraid of growing old? (101)
-The moment you become conscious of your age, you lose yourself (104)
Part 2.
Aging is not disappearance, but maturity.
-Growing old is another name for growing up (110)
-It's not about growing old, it's about growing deeper (113)
-A real adult is not in age (117)
Part 3.
Time to redesign the second half of your life
-One choice isn't everything (123)
-It's okay if it's not perfect (127)
-It's not too late to start again (131)
Part 4.
Dreams are never too late, just a different method.
-Dreams aren't about giving up, they're about continuing on in a different way (136)
- Have a passion appropriate for your age (140)
-Attitude of loving life to the end (144)
Chapter 4.
Practice turning inferiority complex into fuel for growth
Part 1.
Developing the ability to interpret emotions
-Don't just look at the surface of emotions (151)
-Understanding rather than reacting (154)
-Creating space between feelings and actions (157)
Part 2.
The power of encouraging words
-What you say to me is important (162)
Self-care instead of self-criticism (165)
-Words that push me with quiet confidence (168)
Part 3.
The power of small but certain self-action
-Action comes before achievement (174)
-My daily routine makes me (177)
-Restoring your relationship with yourself (180)
Part 4.
A life where I become my own leader
-No one can live for you (185)
-The power to choose and take responsibility for oneself (188)
-Practice to Regain Control of Your Life (191)
Chapter 5.
A life where I become my own leader
Part 1.
Practice listening to the voice within you
-Listen to my own voice, not external standards (199)
-Centering inner questions rather than comparisons (202)
-Building a quiet but strong self-confidence (206)
Part 2.
The courage to start life right here, right now
The Power of Starting Even If It's Not Perfect (211)
-Questions I Ask Myself Every Day (214)
Life is not about timing, it's about direction (217)
Epilogue
Until I can say 'I'm okay' (222)
Who are you comparing yourself to? (9)
Chapter 1.
Where does the comparison begin?
Part 1.
Why I feel uncomfortable when I see someone doing better than me
A photo that shakes up an otherwise uneventful day (13)
-Comparison is an interpretation, not an emotion (16)
-SNS stimulates me, and I collapse (19)
-My desire hidden in envy (22)
Part 2.
Why do I feel like I'm the only one left behind?
-The world moves faster than me (27)
-The impatience of 'this is all I can do' (30)
-All competition begins with 'me' (33)
Part 3.
The emotional chain created by comparison: desire, inferiority complex, and self-esteem.
-The seeds of inferiority complex planted in childhood (38)
-Why do we want to be recognized? (42)
-Why do I feel anxious even when I do well? (46)
-When I feel like the me that others see is the real me (49)
Chapter 2.
Why do we deny our inferiority complex?
Part 1.
Inferiority complex: a feeling you want to hide
-Pretend nothing is wrong, but your heart is running away (55)
-Gaze toward others, defense toward myself (59)
-The mask of superiority that covers up inferiority complex (63)
Part 2.
The mental habit that cuts me down
-People who are accustomed to self-reproach (68)
- Low self-esteem and repeated comparisons (72)
-The Trap of Unhappy Relief (76)
Part 3.
Why you feel anxious even if you look fine on the outside
-Smiling but shaking (81)
-Shaky self-esteem even when it seems perfect (85)
-A mind that cannot exist without recognition (89)
Chapter 3.
Wisdom for the Second Half of Life (Life Gets Clearer as You Get Older)
Part 1.
Things you can only see when you let go of the obsession of youth
-I thought youth was everything (97)
-Why was I afraid of growing old? (101)
-The moment you become conscious of your age, you lose yourself (104)
Part 2.
Aging is not disappearance, but maturity.
-Growing old is another name for growing up (110)
-It's not about growing old, it's about growing deeper (113)
-A real adult is not in age (117)
Part 3.
Time to redesign the second half of your life
-One choice isn't everything (123)
-It's okay if it's not perfect (127)
-It's not too late to start again (131)
Part 4.
Dreams are never too late, just a different method.
-Dreams aren't about giving up, they're about continuing on in a different way (136)
- Have a passion appropriate for your age (140)
-Attitude of loving life to the end (144)
Chapter 4.
Practice turning inferiority complex into fuel for growth
Part 1.
Developing the ability to interpret emotions
-Don't just look at the surface of emotions (151)
-Understanding rather than reacting (154)
-Creating space between feelings and actions (157)
Part 2.
The power of encouraging words
-What you say to me is important (162)
Self-care instead of self-criticism (165)
-Words that push me with quiet confidence (168)
Part 3.
The power of small but certain self-action
-Action comes before achievement (174)
-My daily routine makes me (177)
-Restoring your relationship with yourself (180)
Part 4.
A life where I become my own leader
-No one can live for you (185)
-The power to choose and take responsibility for oneself (188)
-Practice to Regain Control of Your Life (191)
Chapter 5.
A life where I become my own leader
Part 1.
Practice listening to the voice within you
-Listen to my own voice, not external standards (199)
-Centering inner questions rather than comparisons (202)
-Building a quiet but strong self-confidence (206)
Part 2.
The courage to start life right here, right now
The Power of Starting Even If It's Not Perfect (211)
-Questions I Ask Myself Every Day (214)
Life is not about timing, it's about direction (217)
Epilogue
Until I can say 'I'm okay' (222)
Into the book
Comparison is not an emotion, it is an interpretation of life, and interpretations can change at any time.
Looking at the same situation from a different perspective can produce completely different results.
As Adler emphasized, we are not slaves to circumstances, but subjects of choice.
--- p.18
Unhappy relief is always based on others.
I'm still anxious and unsatisfied, but it only seems relatively okay because someone else has it worse.
The structure of this emotion is based on the concept of 'relative advantage'.
I haven't changed, but I judge myself based on other people's misfortunes.
While this may bring temporary relief, the feeling is soon replaced by guilt or emptiness.
The moment we seek solace in the misfortune of others, we lose sight of the center of our own lives.
--- p.76
'Understanding rather than reacting' is the practice of creating 'space' between emotions.
When a stimulus comes in, instead of reacting immediately, there is a pause and interpretation in between.
This pause may only last a few seconds, but it becomes a powerful gap that determines the quality of life.
Looking at the same situation from a different perspective can produce completely different results.
As Adler emphasized, we are not slaves to circumstances, but subjects of choice.
--- p.18
Unhappy relief is always based on others.
I'm still anxious and unsatisfied, but it only seems relatively okay because someone else has it worse.
The structure of this emotion is based on the concept of 'relative advantage'.
I haven't changed, but I judge myself based on other people's misfortunes.
While this may bring temporary relief, the feeling is soon replaced by guilt or emptiness.
The moment we seek solace in the misfortune of others, we lose sight of the center of our own lives.
--- p.76
'Understanding rather than reacting' is the practice of creating 'space' between emotions.
When a stimulus comes in, instead of reacting immediately, there is a pause and interpretation in between.
This pause may only last a few seconds, but it becomes a powerful gap that determines the quality of life.
--- p.155
Publisher's Review
Adler's powerful comfort and practical psychology for those of us who are shaken by comparison and inferiority complex.
We compare ourselves to others dozens of times a day. We're swayed by the images of others posted on social media, we lose ourselves under the pressure to do better, and we constantly strive for recognition.
But at the end of such a life, instead of satisfaction, emptiness and anxiety remain.
It is at this point that Adler speaks to us.
“Inferiority complex is not something to be eliminated, but rather it becomes fuel for growth.”
"Why Do I Keep Comparing?" is a psychological essay that interprets the thoughts of psychologist Alfred Adler in modern language.
Especially for us who live in a world of endless comparison and wavering self-esteem, it guides us on “how to interpret and use emotions of comparison,” “how to set our own standards, free from the gaze of others,” and “how to transform feelings of inferiority into a driving force for personal growth.”
This book goes beyond simply introducing psychological theory.
It shows specifically how feelings of inferiority can wreak havoc on our emotions and offers practical ways to deal with them.
How to read and interpret emotions, words of encouragement to yourself, small practices and consistent routines, and even an attitude of not giving up the initiative even when you feel unsettled.
Adler's ideas lead to realistic guidelines for action.
Also, the wisdom of aging, the meaning of communal life, and the courage to accept oneself.
Adler emphasizes that feelings of inferiority are not a poison that destroys life, but rather an opportunity to build a stronger self.
"Why Do I Keep Comparing?" is neither a heavy, abstract psychology book nor a simple self-help book.
A warm and solid guide for those who are tired of comparison and inferiority complex.
Even at this very moment, even though we are shaken by comparison, we are still okay.
What matters is the courage to live by your own standards, not by those of others.
We compare ourselves to others dozens of times a day. We're swayed by the images of others posted on social media, we lose ourselves under the pressure to do better, and we constantly strive for recognition.
But at the end of such a life, instead of satisfaction, emptiness and anxiety remain.
It is at this point that Adler speaks to us.
“Inferiority complex is not something to be eliminated, but rather it becomes fuel for growth.”
"Why Do I Keep Comparing?" is a psychological essay that interprets the thoughts of psychologist Alfred Adler in modern language.
Especially for us who live in a world of endless comparison and wavering self-esteem, it guides us on “how to interpret and use emotions of comparison,” “how to set our own standards, free from the gaze of others,” and “how to transform feelings of inferiority into a driving force for personal growth.”
This book goes beyond simply introducing psychological theory.
It shows specifically how feelings of inferiority can wreak havoc on our emotions and offers practical ways to deal with them.
How to read and interpret emotions, words of encouragement to yourself, small practices and consistent routines, and even an attitude of not giving up the initiative even when you feel unsettled.
Adler's ideas lead to realistic guidelines for action.
Also, the wisdom of aging, the meaning of communal life, and the courage to accept oneself.
Adler emphasizes that feelings of inferiority are not a poison that destroys life, but rather an opportunity to build a stronger self.
"Why Do I Keep Comparing?" is neither a heavy, abstract psychology book nor a simple self-help book.
A warm and solid guide for those who are tired of comparison and inferiority complex.
Even at this very moment, even though we are shaken by comparison, we are still okay.
What matters is the courage to live by your own standards, not by those of others.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: September 5, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 224 pages | 140*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791199234086
- ISBN10: 1199234087
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