A child who turned thirteen without being able to move or see
Countless relationship questions asked while finally falling in love

A new essay by author Lee Myung-hee, who has steadily built up a fan base by creating a gentle ripple effect through “My Strange Boy” and “Coffee Was My Breath.”
If the first book explored the process of facing and accepting the Sisyphus-like fate that had befallen him, and the next book explored how to endure everyday life, then in "When I Say Goodbye to You," the author broadens his gaze, which had always been directed inward, and turns it outward.
Contrary to the belief that "hard work pays off," there is no hope for improvement, and the best thing to do is to keep the situation from getting worse.
What attitude can we take when faced with a reality that we can neither ignore nor escape?
What she encountered at the end of the tunnel were people who lived silently, each carrying the rock given to them.
Accepting that he is neither special nor unique, and slowly building himself up in everyday life, the author decides to write about relationships.
Or about love, or maybe about forgiveness.

When do we finally decide to cut ties with that person? It's when there's no answer.
This made me see how ridiculous relationships can be.
On the other hand, I envied their conviction and drive to believe and act on any relationship that could be cut off like that.
At the time, I was struggling every day, overwhelmed by the feeling of 'I want to break up with this relationship, but I just can't.'
At one time, I thought that my free will was me.
It was a huge mistake.
What constitutes me is rather the opposite of free will.
I was among the things I couldn't cut off at will, no matter how desperately I wanted to, among the things I wanted to destroy without leaving a trace, but couldn't cut away even a little.

--- pp.9-11 From "How are you?"

It is an unchanging law of life that you have to give up something to have something, and there is no way my life can avoid that law.
There is no way in the world to stay full without eating, no way to eat late at night and sleep every day without gaining weight.
So what we can do is simple.
After considering what to choose and what to take responsibility for, simplify your thinking by choosing one and taking full responsibility for it.
We don't want to take on that responsibility, so we try to live comfortably by 'blaming others'.

--- pp.51-52 From "Not knowing that life is a balance game where one must endure something"

Gratitude is more of an afterthought after something has happened than a present-day feeling that can be felt while something is happening.
In other words, my position is that gratitude is simply an analytical process that compares and judges the current situation based on what has already happened (the past) or what may happen (the future).
This means that it may be nothing more than a cognitive task of deriving 'the misfortune and unhappiness that I have just barely avoided' through a series of processes.
So the argument is that you can't use the present tense there.
Many of the moments I've spent writing in my gratitude journal have actually been lonely nights when I couldn't think of anything to be grateful for.
What I did that night was not gratitude, but a decision to be grateful.

--- pp.62-63 From "Thank you, that's just a lie!"

The only thing we can do about our insatiable instinct for comparison is to try to understand it.
I can only look into the comparative process within me that runs wild without my consultation and the evaluation items that brazenly exert their power without asking for my consent.
Then, I gradually let go of things that might not have been mine and forget about things I didn't like for a while.
That's about it.
The title of the book by Carl Rogers, the founder of person-centered counseling, is not 'How to be a Person' but 'On Becoming a Person'.
Could it be that we wanted to emphasize that we can only be humans in the process of becoming, and that perfect humans cannot exist in the first place?
--- pp.71-72 From "Evaluation Addiction"

They say true love requires love without any reward. But if it's not just unrequited love, but rather hurtful, or if it only causes harm, how many people can sustain it? It's both fortunate and unfortunate to realize that both the problem and the solution lie within.
There are no words that inspire people or discourage them, like the saying, "It all depends on your mind" or "It all depends on your thoughts."
--- p.82 From “That Person Does Not Exist”

The reason I'm so passionate about the institution of marriage is because 'that doesn't mean' I can regret having children.
That was what it meant to hold a living being in my belly, to give birth to that tiny being into the world.
And at this time, displacement may make you look like a 'coward trembling in fear of facing the truth,' but it definitely saves you for a moment from what you fear most at that moment.
I decide to regret getting married, not having children (of course, that doesn't mean I don't regret getting married).
--- pp.122-123 From "I Like It But I'm Faking It"

The MBTI test is complex, difficult, and prone to change, yet it has received incredible attention and love from people.
This test, which uses the same examiner and examinee, is a self-report test that can produce different results each time it is taken, and the results can be changed if the examiner or examinee wishes to do so.
At this point, isn't the purpose of developing this test to convey the message, "You can be anything you want to be."
Believing in the possibility of change.
Believing that one's current appearance is not everything about that person and that one can change at any time.
Perhaps the reason people love this test is because they want to 'believe' in me who can change and you who can change?
--- pp.128-129 From "Asking about MBTI is asking for a chance to understand you"

Even between people, there are dotted lines that can be crossed and solid lines that cannot.
If there is a difference between the lines on the road and the others, it is that they are invisible.
Not only the other person's line, but also my own line.
With the same words, some people get closer and others get further away.
Even if you put in your best effort and put in your best effort, accidents can happen.
--- p.144 From “Dotted Lines and Solid Lines”

Perhaps this is what humans can do for each other because they are human: to read the invisible beyond the visible.
Approaching someone who is not worth looking at and being delighted by their unique ray of light.
Believing that there are things that only that person can do because that person is that person.

--- pp.171-172 From “What Humans Can Do for Humans Because They Are Human”