“If you always forgive, you will be betrayed.
“If you always try to understand, you will meet an arrogant person.”

It is called the 'Bible of the Basics of Life'
Li Xiaoyi's masterpiece has finally been published in Korean!

In relationships, at work, and among family
10 Basics and 100 Stories to Protect Yourself from Endless Shaking

Many people dream of 'freedom', but they live as if they are being chased by something such as work, relationships, family, or financial power.
What is freedom? What does it take to live freely, unshaken by the world, as oneself? Despite knowing the stark truth that "a person who is good to everyone is bad to himself," we still try to bestow favors beyond our means, waste energy on unnecessary relationships, and live trapped in a "prison of good people."
This book is a guide that advises you to shed those good habits, declare the most effective and proactive attitude toward life for yourself, not for the gaze of others, and gain freedom to become the master of your own life.

The author, China's top women's growth mentor and an "influential writer" selected by leading online bookstore Dangdangwang, has established 10 fundamental principles to remember in life based on her own honest experiences.
The ultimate goal is a free life, unbound by anything.
Here, ‘freedom’ is a state that can only be reached after finding oneself, not through external gaze.
To achieve that freedom, she confesses to regretting missing opportunities twice in her youth because she labeled herself “unqualified,” and emphasizes living life actively, “like a mountain that is still when it is calm, and like a swift beast when it moves.”


He also advises focusing your energy on becoming a "useful and necessary person" rather than a "likable person," and teaches the life wisdom that "kindness beyond one's ability will come back to haunt you."
This is all part of a strategic decision-making process to reduce unnecessary consumption in life and secure resources to invest in myself.


The author shares his experiences accumulated over many years and the concepts, reflections, and methods that have been helpful to him, organized into a concise and clear philosophy of life.
You will find practical teachings for a free life in 100 helpful and inspiring stories.
It's time to stop the grind of trying to be nice to everyone and take back control of my life.
The moment you open this book, you will begin a journey to a strong and free life.

**Activity is not the same as recklessness.
What I mean by 'true proactivity' is an attitude of thinking, acting, reflecting, and solving problems actively.
If you are hesitating about whether or not to do something, just 'do it'.
Even if things go wrong, wouldn't it be better to gain experience like that than to regret it later?
If you're wondering whether or not you should become friends with someone, try getting to know them first.
If you feel that they don't fit you, you can distance yourself from them, which is better than judging them with wrong preconceptions from the beginning.

** I've seen many people who don't follow the mainstream path.
At first, you will be filled with opposition and criticism from those around you, but once you achieve worldly success, such as fame or wealth, the criticism will disappear like a bubble.
Moreover, even if one's appearance does not fit the public's aesthetic standards, the moment an authoritative evaluation recognizes one's "unique beauty," that person will immediately appear to shine.
Legendary Italian actress Sophia Loren didn't attract attention for her looks when she first debuted.
People used to say this.
“Sophia Loren is so unique.
“How can you become a movie star with a long nose, wide cheekbones, and a voluptuous butt?” Some even suggested plastic surgery, but she firmly refused.
At the age of nineteen, the film "Aida", in which she starred, became a huge success and she rose to national stardom.
Since then, her plump lips have become a symbol of unique charm rather than being considered 'ugly'.

** The question, “What are your weaknesses?” is not intended to embarrass me.
They want to see how I perceive and respond to my shortcomings rather than the shortcomings themselves.
Instead of giving a formulaic answer like, “I’m such a perfectionist,” the key to moving the other person’s heart is to face the problem head-on and show an attitude of actively trying to improve.


** To reduce unnecessary emotional labor, you must first change your perspective on emotions.
It is important to consciously cultivate a positive mindset, develop desensitization in daily life, and narrow the gap between sensitivity and expression.
People might see me as a sentimental 'F' because of my job as a writer, but I have developed an extremely 'T' side through my work as a reporter and advertising manager.
When I was a reporter, interviews weren't always fun.
Especially when I wrote negative articles, I was met with strong backlash and criticism, and the process of overcoming those obstacles one by one and finishing them strengthened my mentality.
As an advertising manager, sales was a cold, hard world where revenue and profits were measured in precise numbers.


** The less ability you have, the more sensitive your emotions become.
A single careless word can feel like an attack, and even a small glance can make you feel intimidated.
Kazuo Inamori said this:
“When I stand on the first floor, I can clearly hear someone cursing at me, and it makes me angry.
As you go up to the 10th floor, the sound becomes fainter and feels like a greeting.
“If you stand on the 100th floor, you can neither see nor hear anyone swearing.”
It's better to climb to the 100th floor than to blame others for being strict.
Then all the noise will magically disappear.


** Is gossiping really useful? In fact, the person most affected by gossip is none other than the person who's saying it.
In psychology, this is called 'unconscious trait transference'.
When you praise someone, the listener naturally tries to find those same qualities in the speaker.
Conversely, when you put someone down, that negative image is also transferred to the person who is gossiping.
So, it is wise to refrain from criticizing others and not be the one to spread negative news.

** Setting your own standards and being kind and considerate are not contradictory; rather, they complement each other and create harmony.
However, when that standard is violated, you must know how to clearly state your position.
In fact, the other person is often not being rude on purpose, but rather because they don't know my standards.
If you always endure, resentment will build up, if you always forgive, you will be betrayed, and if you always understand, you will meet arrogant people.
If you always give in, you will be taken advantage of; if you always give in, you will be manipulated; if you always lower your standards, you will become the weak.
You can adjust the little things, but you must never give up on your principles.
“I cannot tolerate being treated like this.” This is not a message limited to a specific person or situation, but a message that should be conveyed to everyone who treats me.

** Yes.
Every day is a special day for us.
If you have a pretty scarf, put it on right now. If there's a place you want to go, don't put it off and go. If there's delicious food, enjoy it now. If there's someone you like, don't hesitate and confess.
If you only suffer, you will even forget what sweetness is.
Mr. Mo Yan added.
“Life is a journey of experiencing moments, not a painful process of enduring time.
“If you live well in the present, you will gain strength for the future.”
** So what is "culture"? It could be a thoughtful word or two, the enlightenment a book can offer, or a conversation filled with humility.
Sometimes it can be good intentions that are not necessarily revealed.
There is a quote from the British philosopher John Locke that I particularly like.
“For a man lacking in culture, courage becomes arrogance, learning becomes dullness, and wit becomes ridiculousness.
And simplicity becomes roughness, and gentleness appears as flattery.”

** A truly strong person does not envy or belittle the excellence of others.
Rather than trying to prove your superiority by putting others down, acknowledge their strengths and develop your inner strength.
That attitude contains the confidence that 'I can do it too' and the generosity to embrace others.
Happy are those who have confidence and tolerance.

Putting someone down doesn't make them smaller; rather, it only narrows your own heart.
Let us not forget that jealousy is a self-destructive emotion that serves no purpose.

--- From the text