So why are they so kind to their partner before they start dating, or in the early stages of a relationship? It's because when they feel they haven't yet won the other person's heart, they treat them as if they're relatively strong.
They think that the person who has the power to make decisions in a relationship is the one who is strong.
He is weak and will do anything to win your heart.
I will listen to what you have to say, focus on your feelings, and be aware of your mood.
I will act with devotion as if I were willing to give up my liver and gallbladder.
Until I got a very firm feeling that I had won your heart.
--- From Chapter 1, "What on earth has changed about me?"

When they see others receiving attention and recognition, they feel that the attention and recognition they deserve is being taken away from them.
Due to a lack of affection, they are completely indifferent to the position of others and act recklessly, obsessed only with showing off and revealing themselves.
When they feel jealousy when the attention and love that should be given to them is directed to others, and when they feel inferior because they are not loved, they bully and belittle others.
--- From Chapter 2, "I just said something, why are you being so sensitive?"

The anger that has built up in one's heart for a long time later manifests itself in the form of 'unreasonable hatred and hostility toward others.'
You will feel hatred and hostility towards the whole world except for yourself.
This applies to everything in the world, even your lover, spouse, and children.
These are their own
We have been so accustomed to our normal inner self for so long that we are unable to be aware of our problems or even control them.
They are unable to move beyond their childhood self and only judge people as 'tools'.
--- From Chapter 4, "I'm embarrassed because of you, oh my"

There are people who dismiss this kind of 'effort' and 'hard work' as completely useless.
You probably won't be surprised anymore.
These are narcissists.
They consider any action that admits their own mistakes or respects the other person's position to be an act of injustice.
Losing is ultimately winning
These are people who don't understand the saying, 'it is' at all.
--- From Chapter 5, “I’m Saying This All for You”

There are many reasons why they are reluctant to empathize with other people's emotions, but one concept worth understanding is 'emotionophobia'.
In fact, they consider 'emotions' themselves to be evidence of weakness.
Furthermore, there are people who suffer from 'emotionophobia', who believe that expressing emotions will lead to fearful consequences.
--- From Chapter 6, "Why Are You Always So Negative?"

Because narcissists live with a beastly mindset, they are more influenced by facial expressions, posture, volume, and tone of voice than by the content of the words when speaking.
What if you said, "I'm going to kill you," while smiling softly in front of your dog? He'd probably think you liked him.
all.
But if we frown and shout loudly, “You’re so cute!”, they will perceive it as an attack on them.
Narcissists are like this too.

--- From Chapter 11, "Why do you keep making a big deal out of nothing?"