Teacher's Nonviolent Communication
 |
Description
Book Introduction
A teacher's destiny and eternal homework: 'Words'
What should we say in the face of a crisis in classroom conversation?
A "Comforting Report" to Teachers Who Feel Hurt and Blame Their Words
A "self-confession" from teachers struggling amidst the chatter of the classroom.
Recently, there have been many problems with speech, conversation, and communication at school, and many people, including teachers, have been hurt by these problems.
"Teachers' Nonviolent Communication" is a book that honestly and truthfully describes how to deal with the various difficulties and discomforts that arise from 'words' between teachers and students, students and students, and teachers and parents, using the theory of nonviolent communication.
This book was written by three teachers who study and research nonviolent communication and teach children in schools.
I took the first step to comfort my fellow teachers who said, “I feel like I’m left alone in the classroom,” and wrote this book because I wanted to share the joys and sorrows that teachers experience when they speak.
Above all, it is significant to inform teachers who want to live peacefully through nonviolent communication that “you are not alone.”
I also wrote this book to help teachers, when they are at a loss as to what to say in various situations, to reorient their lives by referring to the experiences of those who have gone before them, whether they have failed or succeeded.
What should we say in the face of a crisis in classroom conversation?
A "Comforting Report" to Teachers Who Feel Hurt and Blame Their Words
A "self-confession" from teachers struggling amidst the chatter of the classroom.
Recently, there have been many problems with speech, conversation, and communication at school, and many people, including teachers, have been hurt by these problems.
"Teachers' Nonviolent Communication" is a book that honestly and truthfully describes how to deal with the various difficulties and discomforts that arise from 'words' between teachers and students, students and students, and teachers and parents, using the theory of nonviolent communication.
This book was written by three teachers who study and research nonviolent communication and teach children in schools.
I took the first step to comfort my fellow teachers who said, “I feel like I’m left alone in the classroom,” and wrote this book because I wanted to share the joys and sorrows that teachers experience when they speak.
Above all, it is significant to inform teachers who want to live peacefully through nonviolent communication that “you are not alone.”
I also wrote this book to help teachers, when they are at a loss as to what to say in various situations, to reorient their lives by referring to the experiences of those who have gone before them, whether they have failed or succeeded.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
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index
Recommendation
Prologue: Teachers Need Nonviolent Communication Now
The Four Elements of Nonviolent Communication
Chapter 1: Nonviolent Communication for Happy Teachers
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Why do teachers need nonviolent communication?
What kind of speech is a giraffe-style conversation?
Words that distance teachers and students
[Observation] Say what you see and hear
[Feeling] Telling how I feel right now
[Desire] Reasons for words and actions
[Request] A request to enrich your life
[Empathy] The bond that arises when you understand the other person's feelings.
"I don't like it" is the beginning of a new conversation.
How to Hear Criticism Through Nonviolent Communication
Handling the powerful force called 'fire'
Chapter 2 Where does the teacher's speech come from?
When giving and receiving something from children, the teacher's mind
Become aware of your language habits
Let go of the intention to fix the other person
The importance of a teacher's words and actions
Beyond words, in each other's hearts
Can I survive as a giraffe teacher?
Chapter 3 What do children want to hear?
Teacher, where have you been?
Give children a chance to choose and speak!
A phrase I’ve never heard before, “Play!”
How should I praise and scold?
“Goodbye” in front of the shoe rack on the way home from school.
“See you tomorrow.”
At this time, the teacher should speak
Chapter 4 What do children talk about in the classroom?
Giraffe, are you ready to listen?
When children begin to observe and feel for themselves
Why is it so difficult to express feelings in words?
I'm curious, can you say it again?
Think about the gap between stimulus and response
Ask and Answer for a Peaceful Classroom
Chapter 5: How should I tell my parents?
Who is this counseling for?
We are in first grade, and our parents are also in first grade
From a parent’s perspective, “What about my child?”
When confronting your parents with a serious problem
Parents need comfort too
I'm doing well now.
Believe me
Chapter 6 What more can teachers do to foster good conversations?
Environment and habits
React consciously
Gratitude and praise
self-empathy
Working hard to protect
Teacher Self-Care
Epilogue
Introduction to the Nonviolent Communication Parish
Prologue: Teachers Need Nonviolent Communication Now
The Four Elements of Nonviolent Communication
Chapter 1: Nonviolent Communication for Happy Teachers
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Why do teachers need nonviolent communication?
What kind of speech is a giraffe-style conversation?
Words that distance teachers and students
[Observation] Say what you see and hear
[Feeling] Telling how I feel right now
[Desire] Reasons for words and actions
[Request] A request to enrich your life
[Empathy] The bond that arises when you understand the other person's feelings.
"I don't like it" is the beginning of a new conversation.
How to Hear Criticism Through Nonviolent Communication
Handling the powerful force called 'fire'
Chapter 2 Where does the teacher's speech come from?
When giving and receiving something from children, the teacher's mind
Become aware of your language habits
Let go of the intention to fix the other person
The importance of a teacher's words and actions
Beyond words, in each other's hearts
Can I survive as a giraffe teacher?
Chapter 3 What do children want to hear?
Teacher, where have you been?
Give children a chance to choose and speak!
A phrase I’ve never heard before, “Play!”
How should I praise and scold?
“Goodbye” in front of the shoe rack on the way home from school.
“See you tomorrow.”
At this time, the teacher should speak
Chapter 4 What do children talk about in the classroom?
Giraffe, are you ready to listen?
When children begin to observe and feel for themselves
Why is it so difficult to express feelings in words?
I'm curious, can you say it again?
Think about the gap between stimulus and response
Ask and Answer for a Peaceful Classroom
Chapter 5: How should I tell my parents?
Who is this counseling for?
We are in first grade, and our parents are also in first grade
From a parent’s perspective, “What about my child?”
When confronting your parents with a serious problem
Parents need comfort too
I'm doing well now.
Believe me
Chapter 6 What more can teachers do to foster good conversations?
Environment and habits
React consciously
Gratitude and praise
self-empathy
Working hard to protect
Teacher Self-Care
Epilogue
Introduction to the Nonviolent Communication Parish
Detailed image
Into the book
The teacher must speak.
You must 'observe' what you see, hear, and see as it is, and then tell the other person your 'feelings (emotions)' at that time, and then realize the 'desires' that you truly want and desire, and then make a 'request' to the other person as if you were giving them a gift.
In the conversation method of nonviolent communication, you repeat the process of honestly expressing your feelings, empathizing, and listening.
You can do this by going through the process of recognizing your emotions, understanding your desires behind the words, and the desires of the other person, and then making a request that connects your desires to the other person.
The most obvious change that occurs as you study and practice Nonviolent Communication is that you begin to ask yourself this:
“What kind of person am I?”
--- p.26
When we feel uncomfortable, we tend to think that the other person is the cause.
But in nonviolent communication, I see the cause of my feelings as a need.
The other person's words or actions may trigger my feelings, but they are not the main cause.
Let's take an example.
Let's say that when you're feeling tired, 'the kid walking around the classroom during class' is a stimulus.
The teacher thinks he or she is tired because of the child who has been stimulated, and says, “You are tiring me out!” or blames the child.
Of course, if the child is sitting in his/her seat during class time, the class can be held comfortably.
But if we focus on blaming the person who triggered our feelings, we will lose sight of the need that is causing our feelings, and will only try to put the child in a position.
--- p.43
When I lectured to students in the transfer department, I asked, “Does anyone think that as a teacher, you can change a child?”
Most of the students in the lecture hall raised their hands.
I too believed that I could do it until I was 10 years old and considered it my mission.
I still have those thoughts sometimes, but I'm trying to let go of more of the teacher's role than before.
Because while teaching my children, I learned that whether the other person changes or not is not my choice, but theirs.
The idea that 'I can change the kids' is dangerous in the classroom.
If you try to change others with that kind of confidence, the stories in this book will likely not help you and will likely only lead to frustration.
--- p.100
What do children really want to do? The answer to this seemingly difficult question is surprisingly simple.
Children want to 'choose' whatever they do, anytime.
But these days, kids ask questions out of habit.
“Mom, can I do this?” Of course, there are times when you should ask and act depending on the situation, but some children ask their parents about everything from a young age.
Because I have to ask permission for everything, whether it's studying or playing with friends, I have a hard time making my own choices.
--- p.137
There are some children who are particularly quiet in the classroom.
Among them are children who do not reveal themselves, children who do not like to be in groups, children who only say what is necessary, children who do not participate in play, and children who sit in their seats and draw or read books even during recess.
It is especially good to watch these children closely and observe their normal speech and behavior.
Sometimes, you can have conversations with them about various things during the early school arrival time or play time after lunch.
It's something the teacher thinks about in advance and then says.
What kind of conversations do these children have with their friends?
--- p.161
The mother was uncomfortable with the multiple phone calls the teacher made.
I also felt guilty because it seemed like I was telling myself, as a parent, that I was wrong.
When I heard that, I thought, “The child in that situation has it the hardest.
“We are adults, so we want to do what we can,” I said, fully conveying my desires and this created a warm connection and allowed me to embrace my child.
Now you have taken the first step towards change.
We will have to keep watching for a long time to come.
--- p.220
As I was learning about and studying nonviolent communication, the most difficult of the four steps was 'request'.
In particular, I did not do well in refusing other people's requests because I thought it was like cutting off my relationship with them.
In nonviolent communication, requests are distinguished from coercion or commands.
First, you must remember that it is something the other person can naturally refuse.
The requests I make are meant to fulfill my desires, and the other person's rejection is a way to fulfill his desires.
We must recognize that each other's needs are important to us.
--- p.204
When attending a nonviolent communication workshop, many people come to learn nonviolent communication to communicate better with others.
I, too, started learning at first to communicate better with my family and students.
However, in order to empathize and communicate well with others through nonviolent communication, the ability to empathize with oneself is first necessary.
Because you can't give to someone what you don't have.
I need to have water so I can give it to someone when they ask.
Empathy is the same.
When someone says they need empathy, when I understand myself and have a broad mind, I can share and accept the pain of others.
So Marshall said that one of the most important uses of nonviolent communication is 'self-empathy'.
You must 'observe' what you see, hear, and see as it is, and then tell the other person your 'feelings (emotions)' at that time, and then realize the 'desires' that you truly want and desire, and then make a 'request' to the other person as if you were giving them a gift.
In the conversation method of nonviolent communication, you repeat the process of honestly expressing your feelings, empathizing, and listening.
You can do this by going through the process of recognizing your emotions, understanding your desires behind the words, and the desires of the other person, and then making a request that connects your desires to the other person.
The most obvious change that occurs as you study and practice Nonviolent Communication is that you begin to ask yourself this:
“What kind of person am I?”
--- p.26
When we feel uncomfortable, we tend to think that the other person is the cause.
But in nonviolent communication, I see the cause of my feelings as a need.
The other person's words or actions may trigger my feelings, but they are not the main cause.
Let's take an example.
Let's say that when you're feeling tired, 'the kid walking around the classroom during class' is a stimulus.
The teacher thinks he or she is tired because of the child who has been stimulated, and says, “You are tiring me out!” or blames the child.
Of course, if the child is sitting in his/her seat during class time, the class can be held comfortably.
But if we focus on blaming the person who triggered our feelings, we will lose sight of the need that is causing our feelings, and will only try to put the child in a position.
--- p.43
When I lectured to students in the transfer department, I asked, “Does anyone think that as a teacher, you can change a child?”
Most of the students in the lecture hall raised their hands.
I too believed that I could do it until I was 10 years old and considered it my mission.
I still have those thoughts sometimes, but I'm trying to let go of more of the teacher's role than before.
Because while teaching my children, I learned that whether the other person changes or not is not my choice, but theirs.
The idea that 'I can change the kids' is dangerous in the classroom.
If you try to change others with that kind of confidence, the stories in this book will likely not help you and will likely only lead to frustration.
--- p.100
What do children really want to do? The answer to this seemingly difficult question is surprisingly simple.
Children want to 'choose' whatever they do, anytime.
But these days, kids ask questions out of habit.
“Mom, can I do this?” Of course, there are times when you should ask and act depending on the situation, but some children ask their parents about everything from a young age.
Because I have to ask permission for everything, whether it's studying or playing with friends, I have a hard time making my own choices.
--- p.137
There are some children who are particularly quiet in the classroom.
Among them are children who do not reveal themselves, children who do not like to be in groups, children who only say what is necessary, children who do not participate in play, and children who sit in their seats and draw or read books even during recess.
It is especially good to watch these children closely and observe their normal speech and behavior.
Sometimes, you can have conversations with them about various things during the early school arrival time or play time after lunch.
It's something the teacher thinks about in advance and then says.
What kind of conversations do these children have with their friends?
--- p.161
The mother was uncomfortable with the multiple phone calls the teacher made.
I also felt guilty because it seemed like I was telling myself, as a parent, that I was wrong.
When I heard that, I thought, “The child in that situation has it the hardest.
“We are adults, so we want to do what we can,” I said, fully conveying my desires and this created a warm connection and allowed me to embrace my child.
Now you have taken the first step towards change.
We will have to keep watching for a long time to come.
--- p.220
As I was learning about and studying nonviolent communication, the most difficult of the four steps was 'request'.
In particular, I did not do well in refusing other people's requests because I thought it was like cutting off my relationship with them.
In nonviolent communication, requests are distinguished from coercion or commands.
First, you must remember that it is something the other person can naturally refuse.
The requests I make are meant to fulfill my desires, and the other person's rejection is a way to fulfill his desires.
We must recognize that each other's needs are important to us.
--- p.204
When attending a nonviolent communication workshop, many people come to learn nonviolent communication to communicate better with others.
I, too, started learning at first to communicate better with my family and students.
However, in order to empathize and communicate well with others through nonviolent communication, the ability to empathize with oneself is first necessary.
Because you can't give to someone what you don't have.
I need to have water so I can give it to someone when they ask.
Empathy is the same.
When someone says they need empathy, when I understand myself and have a broad mind, I can share and accept the pain of others.
So Marshall said that one of the most important uses of nonviolent communication is 'self-empathy'.
--- p.259
Publisher's Review
This book explains what nonviolent communication is, the purpose of nonviolent communication, speaking honestly and listening with empathy, and the core concepts of the four elements of nonviolent communication (observation, feeling, need, and request).
In particular, it provides a solid theoretical foundation for using nonviolent communication in the classroom without wavering by introducing the concepts of observation, feeling, desire, and request, which are the core elements of nonviolent communication, in a way that is suitable for school settings.
And, he vividly presented the teacher's own story of living in the classroom, situations that can arise in the relationship between teachers and students, students and students, and teachers and parents, and suggested nonviolent communication and methods that can be applied in those situations.
As a teacher, I also suggested some ways to live a healthy life.
This is a good book to keep by your side when you want to close your mouth and ears, when you feel like giving up because it's difficult, or when you feel like going back to your old language habits.
In particular, if you follow the two main themes of 'self-protection' and 'relationship building,' you can encounter small beacons of hope.
Chapter 1 of this book, "Nonviolent Communication for Happy Teachers," discusses the definition of nonviolent communication and why teachers need it.
And it provides an easy-to-understand explanation of the theoretical foundations of the four elements of nonviolent communication: observation, feeling, need, and request.
In addition, it contains methods to effectively deal with 'dislike', 'criticism', and 'anger', which are the most difficult for teachers to endure in the classroom, through non-violent communication, and to improve the atmosphere of the classroom for the teacher, the children, and themselves.
Chapter 2, "Where Does a Teacher's Speech Come From?" explores the attitude teachers should have while interacting with children through words and actions, how to recognize their own language habits, how to let go of the intention to correct children, the importance of a teacher's words and actions, and things that are more important than words.
Chapter 3, “What Do Children Want to Hear?” explores what children want to hear from their teachers.
What do children want to hear from their teachers from the time they arrive at school until they leave? "Hello?", "Play.", "Goodbye."
We take time to learn their language by learning the hidden meanings and interpretations of common school phrases such as “See you tomorrow,” how to scold and praise through non-violent communication, and what children value more than words.
Chapter 4, "What Do Children Say to Each Other in the Classroom?" covers conversations, arguments, and everyday language shared among children.
This chapter details how to teach nonviolent communication to children.
Learn how to observe, express feelings and emotions, and speak in a way that will help all children in the classroom get along peacefully.
Chapter 5, “How to Talk to Parents,” addresses the challenges teachers face when communicating and counseling with parents.
First, let's think again about who the counseling is for, and start by looking at parents not as perfect beings, but as beings like us who grow and learn together, and show how to respond and what to say as a teacher in different situations when parents are overflowing with love for their children and show selfish behavior, when parents need to be counseled about serious problems, when parents are angry or shedding tears, or when parents are extremely frustrated and self-reproachful.
Chapter 6, "What More Can Teachers Do to Ensure Good Communication?" explores how teachers can take care of themselves to better connect with children, parents, and fellow teachers, from the perspective of self-care and self-empathy.
It also tells you what changes you make in your relationship, other than just your words.
When did we start using violent and aggressive language in the classroom? Can teachers relearn how to speak for themselves and their children? This book offers a more professional, deeper, and more vivid look at "nonviolent communication," a form of classroom conversation that has quietly spread across schools in the approximately 18 years since its introduction to Korea.
In particular, it provides practical help to readers by including various cases and coping methods experienced by teachers in the classroom, and presents the roots of words and mind that can fundamentally resolve the crisis of communication.
Education can only be right when teachers' words and hearts are alive! This "comforting report" is sent to teachers who feel hurt and self-critical due to the words they exchange in the classroom. It also details countless moments of conversation in schools and the nonviolent communication struggles of teachers within them. I hope this book, "Teachers' Nonviolent Communication," will be helpful to many.
I recommend this book to teachers who feel this way!
“I feel like I’ve been abandoned in the classroom.”
“I’m at a loss as to how to treat my children in the future.”
“I want to communicate well with children.”
“I feel like you’re criticizing my class.”
“The student and his parents’ words sound aggressive.”
“I keep blaming myself on the way home after class.”
“I often wonder, ‘Am I doing something wrong?’”
“I want to be a happy teacher in the classroom.”
“I feel like the kids are watching me.”
“I want to be a teacher who is comfortable and self-centered.”
In particular, it provides a solid theoretical foundation for using nonviolent communication in the classroom without wavering by introducing the concepts of observation, feeling, desire, and request, which are the core elements of nonviolent communication, in a way that is suitable for school settings.
And, he vividly presented the teacher's own story of living in the classroom, situations that can arise in the relationship between teachers and students, students and students, and teachers and parents, and suggested nonviolent communication and methods that can be applied in those situations.
As a teacher, I also suggested some ways to live a healthy life.
This is a good book to keep by your side when you want to close your mouth and ears, when you feel like giving up because it's difficult, or when you feel like going back to your old language habits.
In particular, if you follow the two main themes of 'self-protection' and 'relationship building,' you can encounter small beacons of hope.
Chapter 1 of this book, "Nonviolent Communication for Happy Teachers," discusses the definition of nonviolent communication and why teachers need it.
And it provides an easy-to-understand explanation of the theoretical foundations of the four elements of nonviolent communication: observation, feeling, need, and request.
In addition, it contains methods to effectively deal with 'dislike', 'criticism', and 'anger', which are the most difficult for teachers to endure in the classroom, through non-violent communication, and to improve the atmosphere of the classroom for the teacher, the children, and themselves.
Chapter 2, "Where Does a Teacher's Speech Come From?" explores the attitude teachers should have while interacting with children through words and actions, how to recognize their own language habits, how to let go of the intention to correct children, the importance of a teacher's words and actions, and things that are more important than words.
Chapter 3, “What Do Children Want to Hear?” explores what children want to hear from their teachers.
What do children want to hear from their teachers from the time they arrive at school until they leave? "Hello?", "Play.", "Goodbye."
We take time to learn their language by learning the hidden meanings and interpretations of common school phrases such as “See you tomorrow,” how to scold and praise through non-violent communication, and what children value more than words.
Chapter 4, "What Do Children Say to Each Other in the Classroom?" covers conversations, arguments, and everyday language shared among children.
This chapter details how to teach nonviolent communication to children.
Learn how to observe, express feelings and emotions, and speak in a way that will help all children in the classroom get along peacefully.
Chapter 5, “How to Talk to Parents,” addresses the challenges teachers face when communicating and counseling with parents.
First, let's think again about who the counseling is for, and start by looking at parents not as perfect beings, but as beings like us who grow and learn together, and show how to respond and what to say as a teacher in different situations when parents are overflowing with love for their children and show selfish behavior, when parents need to be counseled about serious problems, when parents are angry or shedding tears, or when parents are extremely frustrated and self-reproachful.
Chapter 6, "What More Can Teachers Do to Ensure Good Communication?" explores how teachers can take care of themselves to better connect with children, parents, and fellow teachers, from the perspective of self-care and self-empathy.
It also tells you what changes you make in your relationship, other than just your words.
When did we start using violent and aggressive language in the classroom? Can teachers relearn how to speak for themselves and their children? This book offers a more professional, deeper, and more vivid look at "nonviolent communication," a form of classroom conversation that has quietly spread across schools in the approximately 18 years since its introduction to Korea.
In particular, it provides practical help to readers by including various cases and coping methods experienced by teachers in the classroom, and presents the roots of words and mind that can fundamentally resolve the crisis of communication.
Education can only be right when teachers' words and hearts are alive! This "comforting report" is sent to teachers who feel hurt and self-critical due to the words they exchange in the classroom. It also details countless moments of conversation in schools and the nonviolent communication struggles of teachers within them. I hope this book, "Teachers' Nonviolent Communication," will be helpful to many.
I recommend this book to teachers who feel this way!
“I feel like I’ve been abandoned in the classroom.”
“I’m at a loss as to how to treat my children in the future.”
“I want to communicate well with children.”
“I feel like you’re criticizing my class.”
“The student and his parents’ words sound aggressive.”
“I keep blaming myself on the way home after class.”
“I often wonder, ‘Am I doing something wrong?’”
“I want to be a happy teacher in the classroom.”
“I feel like the kids are watching me.”
“I want to be a teacher who is comfortable and self-centered.”
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: March 4, 2024
- Page count, weight, size: 288 pages | 406g | 148*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791185121444
- ISBN10: 1185121447
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