Recommendation
introduction

Chapter 1: A New Approach to Discipline

Let's pay attention to what works / An approach that is neither controlling nor laissez-faire / Gentle yet firm / When parents are at odds / Helping children feel a sense of belonging and importance / Does it work in the long run? / Let's teach useful 'life skills' / The destination of positive discipline

Chapter 2: Some Basic Concepts to Know Before Practicing Positive Discipline

Misconceptions about self-esteem / Let children make their own choices / The hidden emotions behind words and actions / Basic concepts of Adlerian school

Chapter 3: To Understand Children, You Must Understand the Characteristics of Birth Order

Firstborn / Youngest / Secondborn / Only Child / Exceptional Circumstances / Another Exceptional Factor: Family Atmosphere / Encouraging Children Based on Birth Order / The Relationship Between Birth Order and Marriage / Educational Methods Based on Birth Order / Small Group Activities

Chapter 4: A New Perspective on Wrongdoing

Responsibility is not the same as blame or shame / What is wrong behavior? / Useful clues to identify wrong beliefs and goals / Effective ways to encourage wrong goals / Identifying hidden intentions / Degrees of discouragement / When dealing with teenagers

Chapter 5: Understanding Logical Consequences

Natural Consequences / Decide What You Will Do / Logical Consequences / Change of Direction / Logical Consequences and the False Goal of Action / A Change in Attitude Is Needed / Involve Kids in Advance

Chapter 6: Let's focus on solutions

Positive Timeout / Loving Questions

Chapter 7: Encouragement, Not Praise, Changes Children

Timing / Respect each other / Don't expect perfection, but rather want to improve / Let's use strengths as a stepping stone, not weaknesses / Change the direction of wrong behavior / Give opportunities to make up for it / Don't be conscious of what others think / Spend special time with your child / Encouragement vs. praise / Encouragement vs. criticism / Encourage self-evaluation / Have training time / Schedule / Teach that mistakes are wonderful learning opportunities / Ask loving questions / Give hugs / Think about your child's perspective

Chapter 8: How to Lead Successful Class Meetings for Teachers

Attitudes and guidelines for successful class meetings / Some goals of class meetings / Specific methods of class meetings / Teacher attitudes and skills / General questions / Other suggestions

Chapter 9: How to Lead a Successful Family Meeting for Parents

Six Differences Between Family and Class Meetings / What You Need for a Family Meeting / Some Tricky Issues / Let's Liven Up Your Family Meetings

Chapter 10 How does an adult's personality affect a child?

What are your priorities in life? / Understanding your fundamental motivations / Your blueprint for life / Discovering your secondary priorities / Life priorities and parenting and education styles / Conflicts between life priorities

Chapter 11: Choosing the Right Method for Your Child

Using the bathroom / Using a novel / Positive time-out / Decide what to do instead of letting your child do it / Stepping back emotionally / Avoiding morning chaos / Schedules / Avoiding bedtime chaos / Enjoying a wonderful bedtime together / Avoiding mealtime chaos / Involving the kids / Don't get involved in kids' fights / Nonverbal cues / Choices / 'Right away' / Allowance

Chapter 12: Discipline that Teach Love and Joy Rather than Perfection

Three important signals / See the positive side of every situation / Trust your child first / Express unconditional love / Four steps to a win-win cooperative strategy / Teach and model communication and problem-solving skills / Help children develop responsibility / Take responsibility for yourself to the end / Give yourself space / Learn and practice

While hurting the child's feelings
Teaching is wrong discipline!

Many teachers and parents misunderstand discipline as synonymous with punishment.
I believe that children can learn properly only if they are scolded harshly, and if there is no change in their misbehavior despite this, it is because the punishment was not severe enough.
Jane Nelson is often said to criticize with these words:
“Where on earth did this foolish idea come from that you have to hurt a child’s feelings first in order to teach him the right way?”

The principle consistently emphasized in various books and lectures introducing 'positive discipline' is expressed in this one sentence.
When discipline is understood as a form of punishment, it may have immediate effects, but it can also lead to the child internalizing wrong responses such as retaliation and defiance.
Ultimately, excessive control and strictness are not the right discipline.
But the problem arises again when most teachers and parents believe that the only alternative to strictness is irresponsible laissez-faire.


Positive discipline is a new educational approach that requires neither punishment nor laissez-faire.
The key is to respect and encourage the child.
It is based on the theory and case studies that children will act responsibly when this environment is created, changing from an external to an internal approach.
That is why it is called 'positive' discipline, and it can be said to be a long-term and effective method because it allows children to acquire a healthy self-concept and attitude necessary for living in the world.
In this way, 'positive discipline' guided by Jane Nelson will open the eyes of readers who are stuck in the old method of punishment and neglect to a new perspective.


When disciplining a child
Gentle yet firm!

Following misconceptions about discipline, the concept that adults find most difficult is the "gentle yet firm" attitude.
This is closely related to the method of discipline described above.
Punitive discipline lacks gentleness, and laissez-faire discipline lacks firmness.
Just as positive discipline offers a new perspective on discipline that is not based on punishment or neglect, the attitude of implementing discipline methods is also a key element of being 'gentle yet firm' and not biased to one side.

The reason many teachers and parents find this attitude difficult to maintain is because they don't know how to respond differently when they are upset by their child's misbehavior.
To educate children, adults must first set an example of self-restraint. However, this is difficult for children who have never experienced it before, and they end up adopting a strict, controlled attitude that is familiar and produces quick results.
But this method can never solve the problem.

A gentle yet firm attitude is not only considerate of the child, but also considerate of the teachers and parents who are disciplining them.
This is because adults must also show a mature attitude in order to fulfill their roles as respected beings.
Handling fleeting emotions isn't easy, so even adults need time to practice.
In "Positive Discipline for Teachers and Parents," each conversation is carefully explained and explained to help children understand how to discipline their children in a gentle yet firm manner.
It also suggests various examples of how to use words that show consideration and respect for a child.
We've also introduced a variety of devices that won't cause a power struggle or worsen relationships, so let's learn how to apply them in conflict situations and practice them.

Children perform better when they feel good!
Understand the hidden meaning behind wrong behavior and the child's characteristics.

After introducing a new perspective and principles for attitudes toward discipline, Jane Nelson introduces various factors that contribute to understanding children.
It is said that children are better disciplined when they feel understood and happy than when they feel hurt by strict discipline.
Based on these premises, we need to properly understand children.
Chapter 3 describes the characteristics of children according to birth order.
It introduces situations where variables can change depending on the environment, along with universal characteristics such as the eldest being responsible and conservative, and the youngest trying to manipulate others to do what he wants.
Chapter 4 emphasizes that when a child misbehaves, we should not only look at the behavior itself, but also read the hidden message behind it, and explains some of the patterns and signals that go along with this.
Children want to feel a sense of belonging and importance from their teachers and parents, but when this is not met, they express it in the wrong way.
Once you understand the causes of behavior and how it manifests, dealing with and disciplining conflicts with your child will become easier.

The following chapters focus more on the methodological aspects of discipline.
First, we describe an approach that focuses on solutions rather than logical consequences for a child's behavior.
The author, who had previously proposed a logical conclusion, has revised the content to change the perspective from a more child-oriented perspective.
By examining the pros and cons and differences of each, you can broaden your perspective on discipline.
And as a way to show consideration and respect that I have been mentioning continuously, I emphasize encouraging the child rather than praising him.
This is a task that continuously confirms the child's belief in his or her potential by highlighting his or her strengths rather than his or her weaknesses and reminding him or her that mistakes can be overcome.
There is a lot of detailed and friendly know-how, so read it carefully and put it into practice.
In addition, it introduces the principles and types of meetings that teachers can implement in the classroom and parents can implement at home.
The book includes examples of how to smoothly resolve conflict situations and communicate within established rules.

And Chapter 10 deals with how an adult's personality influences a child.
The stimulation that teachers and parents give to children varies depending on whether they prioritize comfort, control, the gaze of others, or superiority in life.
This is a very characteristic part of positive discipline based on mutual respect.
This is because it allows us to examine the cause of the problem from various angles by identifying differences not only between the child who is the subject of discipline, but also between the teacher and parents who interact with each other, and between couples.


This book provides a friendly explanation of the theory and methods of positive discipline over a total of 12 chapters.
At the end of each chapter, we provide a summary of the key points covered in that chapter, along with questions to help you recall the content.
Because it requires adult training and practice more than any parenting book.
As the author emphasizes at the end of the book, the more you read "Positive Discipline for Teachers and Parents" after reading it through, the easier it will be to grasp the concepts and internalize them.
If you want to discipline effectively and effectively in the long term, and if you want to build a strong, mutually respectful relationship with your child, 'positive discipline' is essential.