Learning from Mr. Song Hyeong-ho, a mentor of Korean teachers
Parent Counseling and Communication Know-How

According to a survey conducted by a teachers' association, the biggest difficulty teachers feel in their teaching careers is 'maintaining relationships with parents and dealing with their complaints.'
It is easy to imagine how much pressure teachers feel about parent-child relationships, as it is ranked first, even surpassing 'Student Life Guidance for Problem Behavior, Maladjustment, etc.'


The author, a former middle school teacher with 35 years of experience and known as the “Teachers’ Teacher” and active as a teacher consultant, emphasizes “communication” with parents.
Diligent communication on a daily basis prevents complaints, and wise communication in times of crisis solves problems.
The author argues that if trust is built between teachers and parents through communication, any situation can be resolved peacefully.


So how can we gain parents' trust through communication? Drawing on firsthand experience, the author offers meticulous strategies for everything from everyday communication like school newsletters and phone calls to crisis situations like bullying and civil complaints.
The story of a veteran educator, steeped in fierce experience and brilliant wisdom, will provide encouragement and comfort to teachers weary of relationships.

I feel this anew every time the PTA meeting ends.
All parents want to communicate with the school, but there just aren't enough opportunities.
When I struggle alone, I sometimes feel disappointed that I am working so hard as a teacher, but the parents are so indifferent. However, when I actually meet them and talk to them, I realize that it was a misunderstanding.
I get a lot of strength from the PTA.
So I hope the parents' association becomes more active.
---From "Parents' Meeting: See You Next Time"

The Jongrye Newspaper was created to help me communicate effectively with the children, but the response from parents was much more enthusiastic.
Because children were reluctant to talk to their parents, they couldn't ask questions about school life, but after reading the school newspaper, their curiosity was satisfied, and they were able to communicate better because they had accumulated detailed information.
From the parents' perspective, it's natural to not know, and so the questions they have to ask often feel frustrating and irritating to the children.
Children have a hard time conversing when there is an information gap with the other person.
I think the Jongrye Newspaper has narrowed this gap and brought peace to the family.
---From "Jongrye Newspaper: The Newspaper Mothers Look For First"

Ultimately, parents' hearts can only be healed through communication.
Just listening to someone's story can be a huge help.
The stories a teacher tells may be forgotten over time, but the attitude and atmosphere a teacher displays will last a long time.
Be careful not to preach or give advice hastily.
If parents listen to what their children have to say, they are more likely to make their own decisions and put them into practice.
Only after parents feel that the teacher has sufficiently acknowledged them do they ask, “Teacher, what should I do?”
You have to know how to wait until then.
---From "Caring for Parents' Hearts"

Dealing with angry parents is a daily occurrence in teaching.
Even parents who normally communicate well can become aggressive and sensitive when their children's problems hurt them.
The first thing to keep in mind when dealing with angry parents is that their anger is not directed at the teacher.
Parents' anger is a mixture of concerns about their children, parental guilt, a desire to protect their children, and an appeal to the school.
However, when teachers are faced with the anger of parents while exhausted from hard work, they are instantly overwhelmed by the unpleasant atmosphere and feel that the other person is angry at them.
Don't get caught up in the hype.
The moment you get caught, it can cause irreparable damage to both teachers and parents.
---From "Responding to Angry Parents: Apologies and Reservations"

Be sure to take notes of the parent's statement and ask for clarification if there is anything you do not understand.
We will listen first and determine the facts later.
Neutral nuances like “I think we need to hear both sides of the story on that point” should be avoided at this stage.
From the victim's perspective, it can feel very sad and unfair.
The moment parents feel that the school and teachers are not on the side of the victimized student, they close their hearts and mouths.
---From the “Counseling Manual for Parents of Victimized Students”

At this time, only explain the processing process and never predict the disciplinary outcome.
If you say, “You will probably be subject to a forced transfer,” and the school violence committee actually issues a forced transfer, the parent can object and file a retrial, claiming that the school had already decided the outcome and was trying to punish their child.
No matter how predictable the results of the school violence committee are, we must not provide an excuse like this.

---From the “Counseling Manual for Parents of Offending Students”