I hope this book will give you the courage to listen.
Listening well means understanding the world and yourself more deeply.
You hear it with your ears, but in the end you meet it with your heart.
The busier and more complicated life becomes, the more I hope we don't lose 'time to listen'.

Let's review the five stages of listening covered in this book.


Step 1: Pause - Give the other person space to speak.
Put down your smartphone and break the habit
Emptying your mind.
Listening starts here.

Step 2 Focus - Helping the other person open their heart.
Carefully observing words, feelings, facial expressions, and gestures
thing.
Focus gives you a safe space.

Step 3: Empathy - Warming up your relationship with the other person.
We share in sorrow and joy together
thing.
Empathy is sharing the echoes of the heart.

Step 4: Understanding the other person without misunderstanding.
“So what you’re saying is ○○?” A small confirmation is a big
Create trust.

Step 5: Respect the other person and build trust.
Empathy is more powerful than advice, understanding is more powerful than solutions.
Demonstrate.

By practicing these five steps over and over again, we will become more than just good listeners; we will become indispensable people in someone's life.

Why We Must Learn to Listen

There is a saying that comes to mind often these days.

“Words spoken without thinking settle into the subconscious, guide our actions, become our attitudes, and ultimately become our destiny.”

It may seem like words fly away quickly, but that's not the case.
It settles down somewhere, becomes reality, creates relationships, and sometimes leaves scars.
Neuroscientists say:
"When language changes, the brain changes, and when the brain changes, life changes." So, what's the first step to changing the language we use? It starts with restoring the power of listening.

We talk to countless people every day.
Nod your head, clap your hands, and smile.
But suddenly this thought occurs to me.

“Whose story are you really listening to right now?”

Often times, our ears are open but our hearts are closed.
We seem to listen to what the other person is saying, but in reality we are preparing our own thoughts and adding our own judgment.
Listening is an attitude, not a skill.
It's a quiet signal that 'I respect that person for who they are.'
When we listen to someone, we understand their life a little better, and that understanding becomes the strength to grow ourselves.

I have seen countless patients in my clinic for nearly 30 years.
They don't just talk about the sore spot or the treatment plan.
It talks about life, regrets, fears, and hopes.
The clinic is not simply a space for treatment, but a 'small stage' and 'site of life' where life stories are told.

One day, I suddenly realized something.
That listening to people's stories is what makes me happiest.
I enjoyed reading and discussing books in the Leaders Book Club, but I found even greater joy in hearing other people's stories and discovering how we grow together through them.
I was happier listening than talking.
I began writing this book with a fluttering heart, encountering again the feelings I had forgotten in my busy daily life.

This book is a record of my time living as a listener, and a guide for those who want to grow into a leader who listens.
In an age overflowing with words, I wanted to share what it means to live as a quiet listener.
Listening is the essence of humanity that we must recover as we live in this age, and it is the power of quiet listening that is easily overlooked in the digital age.

This book consists of the following contents:

Chapter 1.
All listening begins with 'listening to myself' - the basics of listening.
Chapter 2.
Listening is not 'unresponsive silence' but 'warm response' - the conditions for listening.
Chapter 3.
Developing the power to open your heart through 'Pause, Focus, Empathize, Confirm, Respond' - The 5 Steps of Listening
Chapter 4.
Good listeners are ultimately trusted and grow - The power of listening.
Chapter 5.
All great people knew how to listen first - the masters of listening.

There is a saying, ‘Jultak simultaneous poetry’.
It means that the mother and chick simultaneously knock on the shell from the inside and outside to help the chick break out of the egg.
The same goes for conversation.
A relationship doesn't open up just because one side knocks.
When we listen to each other with consideration and respect, the walls of our hearts break down.
I hope this book will be a small respite and a warm companion to those of you who want to listen to someone's story a little more quietly and a little more slowly.

Finally, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to Director Yoo Gil-moon of the Dale Carnegie Human Resources Development Institute, who guided me on my path to becoming a writer, and to Coach Baek Myeong-sook, who accompanied me through the entire process of writing the book.

November 2025, Waiting for the Sound of Winter
Kim Ji-hyun

--- From the prologue